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So, there's a rumor out there that I've died

post #1 of 23
4/22/06 at 1:16pm
Thread Starter 
Yesterday, I got cell phone messages from two old college roommates a few states away. Apparently, they were concerned that I got into some sort of horrific accident, as they had somehow heard, and was in some sort of fatal condition. I'm in NYC now, so we no longer have any mutual friends, and there's no way for them to find out about me.

I only discovered these messages yesterday after ditching my phone at home by accident. They each left two messages, but they called many times over.

What I'm wondering is, is there some sort of way I should break it to them that nothing really happened? Should I prank them and let this go on? Is this call coming from the future?
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post #2 of 23
4/22/06 at 1:24pm
Fabfunk, what can I say? You are an attention whore.
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post #3 of 23
4/22/06 at 1:31pm
Collect any possible insurance claims, if any.

I only had 3 hours sleep last night, so I can't think clearly, but there's a scam in here somewhere. Use it...

SP
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post #4 of 23
4/22/06 at 1:34pm
Current Vegas lines on who will be the first to make a tired joke about Fabfunk screwing his own corpse:

Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Fabfunk 6-1
Eileen 80-1 underdog dark horse special
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post #5 of 23
4/22/06 at 2:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
Current Vegas lines on who will be the first to make a tired joke about Fabfunk screwing his own corpse:

Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Fabfunk 6-1
Eileen 80-1 underdog dark horse special

I was working on one but it just didn't flow.
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post #6 of 23
4/22/06 at 3:53pm
Fabfunk, eh? I heard you was dead.
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post #7 of 23
4/22/06 at 4:22pm
Dead on the inside? Only God knows.
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post #8 of 23
4/22/06 at 4:23pm
Rumor, or wishful thinking?
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post #9 of 23
4/22/06 at 4:37pm
I can't help but think that if the majority of my friends thought I was dead I'd shut up and let them keep thinking that.
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post #10 of 23
4/22/06 at 5:17pm
Hire an actor to play a police detective, and send him to their homes to shake them down for information on your death, and tell each of them that they're the prime suspect, and they're not to leave town. Then have a beautiful woman show up crying and mentioning something about embassies and decryption keys. A couple of days later you show up looking beaten and harried, ask if anyone's come around looking for you, then hand them a writable DVD that they're to show no one under any circumstances, then promptly run away again. Then don't call them for about a year.
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post #11 of 23
4/22/06 at 5:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
Dead on the inside? Only his penis knows.
Fixed.

I'm headed to Vegas to collect.
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post #12 of 23
4/22/06 at 7:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigel St. Buggering
Hire an actor to play a police detective, and send him to their homes to shake them down for information on your death, and tell each of them that they're the prime suspect, and they're not to leave town. Then have a beautiful woman show up crying and mentioning something about embassies and decryption keys. A couple of days later you show up looking beaten and harried, ask if anyone's come around looking for you, then hand them a writable DVD that they're to show no one under any circumstances, then promptly run away again. Then don't call them for about a year.
HAHAHAHAHA

Holy shit, that's fucking brilliant. Somebody NEEDS to pull that.
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post #13 of 23
4/22/06 at 9:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
Current Vegas lines on who will be the first to make a tired joke about Fabfunk screwing his own corpse:

Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Fabfunk 6-1
Eileen 80-1 underdog dark horse special
Great one Molt hilarious because its so true. Fab you're like the Danny Kolb of the messageboards. You keep hurling perfect meat in the middle of the plate to knock out of the ballpark.
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post #14 of 23
4/22/06 at 9:34pm
Why should I make a joke? Gabriel Williams already covered the important aspect of this idiocy.
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post #15 of 23
4/23/06 at 1:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigel St. Buggering
Hire an actor to play a police detective, and send him to their homes to shake them down for information on your death, and tell each of them that they're the prime suspect, and they're not to leave town. Then have a beautiful woman show up crying and mentioning something about embassies and decryption keys. A couple of days later you show up looking beaten and harried, ask if anyone's come around looking for you, then hand them a writable DVD that they're to show no one under any circumstances, then promptly run away again. Then don't call them for about a year.
I have a new life goal.
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post #16 of 23
4/23/06 at 3:18am
Dead in terms of played-out waste of measurable energy used to pay attention to you? Yes. You have been dead for some time. I can only imagine that your former friends were hoping as much.

Because, after all, you are worth more as a vacant set of useful orifices after death, by your own measuring devices, than in life.

I win by a nose.
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post #17 of 23
4/23/06 at 3:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
Current Vegas lines on who will be the first to make a tired joke about Fabfunk screwing his own corpse:

Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Fabfunk 6-1
Eileen 80-1 underdog dark horse special
Its funny cause its true.
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post #18 of 23
4/23/06 at 3:36am
But then he didn't, so it's not that funny. As with most Fabfunk threads.
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post #19 of 23
4/23/06 at 3:38am
Meta-CHUD has eaten its own tail.
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post #20 of 23
4/23/06 at 3:54am
Does that mean we all turn into our avatars?
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post #21 of 23
4/23/06 at 4:05am
Yeah, and in a very Rod Serling-esque fashion too. You might want to invest in some razors. It will totally defuse the ironic ending.
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post #22 of 23
4/24/06 at 1:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin
Does that mean we all turn into our avatars?
HOLY SHIT NO
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post #23 of 23
4/24/06 at 5:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
Current Vegas lines on who will be the first to make a tired joke about Fabfunk screwing his own corpse:

Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Helix 2-1
Fabfunk 6-1
Eileen 80-1 underdog dark horse special
Too funny
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