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Motorist trapped in traffic circle 14 hours

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
http://www.jnd.org/dn.mss/motorist_trapped_in.html

Quote:
Motorist trapped in traffic circle 14 hours.

April 1, 2006. Hampstead, MA. Motorist Peter Newone said he felt as if a nightmare had just ended. Newone, 53, was driving his newly purchased luxury car when he entered the traffic circle in the city center around 9 AM yesterday, Friday. The car was equipped with the latest safety features, including a new feature called Lane Keeping. “It just wouldn’t let me get out of the circle,” said Newone. “I was in the inner-most lane, and every time I tried to get out, the steering wheel refused to budge and a voice kept saying over and over, ‘warning, right lane is occupied.’ I was there until 11 at night, when it finally let me out,” Newone said from his hospital bed, his voice still shaky. “I managed to get out of the circle and to the side of the road, and then I don’t remember what happened.”

Police say they found Newone collapsed in his car, incoherent. He was taken to the Memorial Hospital for observation and diagnosed with extreme shock and dehydration. He was released early this morning.

A representative of the automobile company said that they could not explain this behavior. “Our cars are very carefully tested,” said Mr. Namron, “and this feature has been most thoroughly vetted by our technicians. It is an essential safety feature and it is designed so that it never exerts more than 80% of the torque required, so the driver can always overrule the system. We designed it that way as a safety precaution. We grieve for Mr. Newone, but we are asking our physicians to do their own evaluation of his condition.”

Police say they have never heard of a similar situation. Mr. Newone evidently encountered a rare occurrence of continual traffic at that location: there was a special ceremony in the local school system which kept traffic high all day, and then there was an unusual combination of sports events, a football game, and then a late concert, so traffic was unusually heavy all day and evening. Attempts to get statements from relevant government officials were unsuccessful. The National Transportation Safety Board which is supposed to investigate all unusual automobile incidents says that this is not officially an accident, so it does not fit into their domain. Federal and state transportation officials were not available for comment.
post #2 of 17
So at no point in time did it occur to him to stop the car, put on his hazards, and call a tow-truck?

I got to go with "Operator Error" on this one.
post #3 of 17
Man.

KITT can be a bastard when he's drunk.
post #4 of 17
Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!
post #5 of 17
It's just the start. In the future, people will look back and say that this was where the rise of the machines truly began.
post #6 of 17
You would think there would be a button to turn off such a feature.
post #7 of 17
[_] ~[ *__* ]~ [_] BEEP BEEP DESTROY HUMAN FILTH BEEPboop
post #8 of 17
*cough*

Quote:
Disclosure. Written by me for the RISKS digest. Take special note of the date: April 1. Originally published in RISKS-LIST: RISKS-LIST: Risks-Forum Digest Saturday 1 April 2006 Volume 24 : Issue 22. ACM FORUM ON RISKS TO THE PUBLIC IN COMPUTERS AND RELATED SYSTEMS (comp.risks) Peter G. Neumann, moderator, chmn ACM Committee on Computers and Public Policy


post #9 of 17
Sigh.
post #10 of 17
And again, April Fools jokes that are in the realm of possibility are completly useless.

Last year, there was a group of 3 senior citizens who "got lost" for 16 hours trying to get to a Denny's 2 miles from their house. Factual stories like that make this one completly possible.
post #11 of 17
Amazing that people fell for this. Never mind the date on the story: the fact that the guy drove 14 HOURS without refilling....

SP
post #12 of 17
I thought the wording was rather suspicious. "We grieve for Mr. Newone"??? Not likely.
post #13 of 17
The thing that almost hooked me? This could really happen in Massachusetts.
post #14 of 17
They have roundabouts in Massachusetts? Good lord, the English are taking over, the John Birch society was right!
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
Man.

KITT can be a bastard when he's drunk.
Mr. Newone couldn't be allowed to jeopardize the mission, Dave.
post #16 of 17
Unstoppable "Lane-Keeping?" Sounds like a new fear to start working on.
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!
National Lampoon's European Vacation was the first thing i thought of when i saw this thread.
*blushes*
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