Masturbate-A-Thon- this May 27th! - Page 2  

And let us not forget his Iron Man scriptment.

Just thinking about it makes me stroke myself.

Okay. This I want to see.

http://chud.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79533

Post #5 in the thread.

Hate to say this, but saying that you can't be bothered to defend yourself strikes me as being highly disingenuous when you spend your time posting about fucking dead porn stars and female ejaculation. If you're trying to take the moral high ground, I think you've failed.

You must have a reason for posting these things, and given that every time you do it illicits the same reaction, that suggests that you're doing it because you enjoy the result. Seems like a waste of time to me.

I can't believe I missed that. Its hard to believe that fab's not a reader.

I have to confirm the fabfunk phase Brad speaks of. I too went through it.

I didn't invent turds, but I have the good taste not to share with other people every time I take a shit.

Okay, that was funny.

Ahem...

...

And they kicked you out of the gymnastics team?

Sorry.

But by the same token, it's not like the "dead pornstars" thing came out of nowhere. You started a thread about some pornstar who died, all dewey-eyed mush about her family and the tragedy of a young life passing to soon. And then you signed it off with some pictures of her with her legs spread and her vulva on display.

People pointed out that the two seemed somewhat incongruous and more than a little creepy.

Then you did it again. And, I seem to recall, once more - though one of them was only severely injured, not dead.

So it's not like your reputation as CHUD's resident Guy Who Posts About Dead Pornstars came out of nowhere. And, naturally, that morphed over time into being The Guy Who Gets Turned On By Dead Pornstars.

Between female ejaculation, your own multiple orgasms, how to "prepare" for birthday sex and safe words, it's all part of the same image problem - you seem pathologically obsessed with sex.

Ditto for the threads about how you were auditioning pornstars to appear in a film you were making. And the thread about the pornstar who's making wine. And the posts about how some porn franchise actually has decent storylines and acting, or about how some pornstar is actually a lovely person.

And, of course, the recent image of yourself, fully clothed and beaming like a fucking foglamp, as some naked porn chick clambers all over you and licks your groin for the camera.

You don't get to do all that and then cry foul when you get a lingering reputation as a porn-fixated creep. Don't like it? Then stop with the threads about your genitals/wanking habits. And if you can't (or won't) stop posting about your semen, then seek help. Seriously.

I've read your posts about movies. You're not an idiot. Stop acting like one.

When temos - your Belial-style sibling in smut - criticizes you for being creepy, then you'll have a point. At the moment, there's only one poster posting pictures of themself being mock-fellated by someone who gets paid to fuck for a living.

A compelling argument to close this fucker down completely.

So you heard this statement and thought, "this sounds like a prime topic of discussion, I'll go and post it on a message board." If someone came up to me in real life and started talking about a tenth of the things you'd posted about, I would want to get as far away from that person as possible. If he tried to follow me, I'd set him on fire. Arguing that people are overstating the case (when they're not) doesn't change the fact that you have posted some truly reprehensible stuff here.

As someone already on their third login after contributing nothing but wanking in the past, you're on really fucking thin ice when it comes to this sort of thing. I'd walk away if I were you.

You are such an asshole.

Oh, please. As I said before, most of the sex stuff fabfunk has posted has been pretty tame. "Ooh, dead pornstarlet's vagina!" Have a laugh about it. It's harmless stuff.

Hell, most of the stuff he posts are from topics that come up in daily conversation. 'Course, I've got some fucking bizarre friends...

You seem like an asshole too.

We're in a thread with Brad Millette and you're singling me out for being an asshole?

Wow.

Yeah, I'm an asshole, but at least I'm not a weepy pussy.

No, it's not. It's really fucking creepy. It's one thing to make a crack about a dead pornstar. THAT could be funny and harmless. It's entirely another to post a eulogy extolling her virtues as a human being, then include pictures of her pleasuring herself to round things out. It's borderline obsessive. Seriously, what kind of thought process goes into "the world is a worse place for this fine woman passing.....now here's a picture of her recently deceased snatch"?

Fabfunk's reputation as a sex-obsessed attention-seeker is well-deserved. He can easily get rid of it, he just chooses not to. You want your post history to revolve around your sexual history and pornography proclivities, you gotta accept the consequences.

It's also worth noting that we go through this same song and dance every time someone new comes in to defend fabfunk's "honor". Then that person eventually comes to realize that there are tangible reasons we treat him like this.

An orientation video of sorts is in order.

And nothing from fabfunk's collection.

That nearly made milk squirt out of my nose, AND I WASN'T EVEN DRINKING ANY!

Thank you, Brad.

And thank you, fabfunk.

WE CAN'T FORGET THEM

Yeah, don't pull out the dumbass Diva defense. Of course we remember them. That's exactly why we're so revolted. If your threads weren't memorably atrocious we wouldn't be having this conversation.

And for someone who "doesn't care about the attention", you sure do beg for it, fabfunk. Out of curiosity, how many times did they kick you out of Rotten Tomatoes by now?

I'm not sure he was kicked out. I think he flounced out in as dramatic a way as possible.

And then back in! And then back out! And then back in! And then back out!

Stop making me excited!

Well, if nothing else, fabfunk's existence did provide the inspiration for one of the great modern works of comedy:

Fabfunk in: Acherin' for Some Raperin'

http://chud.com/forums/showpost.php?...&postcount=193

Shutting her down, folks.

Nooooooooooooooooo.....

Live to fight another day!