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It shouldn't be this hard to lose your virginity

post #1 of 258
6/7/06 at 3:01am
Thread Starter 
I'm reluctant to post here because it's very rare that replies in this forum are anything but snark, but than again it's very rare anyone other than fabfunk creates threads, so the two may be related.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating about 5 months. I've been ready for sex since puberty, but since she's a Catholic she was never really sure how she felt about sex. We talked about it a while but mostly all that was said was that she didn't know and I told her to take her time, since I certainly didn't want to rush her into anything she didn't want.

About 2 weeks ago, the topic was brought up again and she told me she finally felt ready. The celebration was short-lived, however, when she also informed me it couldn't be that night cuz she was on her period.

So for 5 days all I could do was antcipate, wait and thinka bout it. As I thought about it, a worry struck me. It wasn't that I wouldn't last (I pretty much accepted that as a given), or anything like that, but the idea of breaking her hymen and hurting her. The more I worried, the worst it seemed, this idea of me getting off as she's in pain.

Flash forward to the night. Lacking a big brother, I went to the internet for advice, and read that it helps if you get her wet first, so I did. then I put the condom on, kissed her, and slowly thrust forward.

Nothing. It wouldn't go in. She tried to guide it in with her hands, but it was always at a wrong angle, or too high, or too low. I couldn't see for myself at that angle because she has a lot of pubic hair (which is an issue for a whole other thread, believe me) so I had to rely on her to help. She tried to arrange it, get it in, but it wouldn't. Eventually I lost my erection, we gave up, and laughed for a very long time (another reason why I love her, me and her are able to take a potentially TERRIBLY AWKWARD situation and just laugh it off)

But the fact remains, I'm still a virgin, and we still want to have sex. Did anyone else have this problem (I wish there were more ladies on the thread) or has advice? Is it possible me or her were too nervous?

Also, it was difficult tomaintain a full on erection with the condom pinching me. Is this the result of me putting it on wrong, it being too small, or is that just how they are?*

*I went to a catholic school, so the extent of my sexual education was this stocky nurse showing graphic photos of genital warts. So no, I was never taught how to use a condom.
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post #2 of 258
6/7/06 at 3:06am
Congratulations on your giant cock!
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post #3 of 258
6/7/06 at 3:48am
Try again. Aim better.
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post #4 of 258
6/7/06 at 5:19am
This happend to me and my ex once.
I'ts pretty normal.
Was she very nervous?Cause girls can sometimes "close" down there if they are really really nervous.
Glad you both could just laugh about it.NOT many couple's would have been able to do that.
Dont know about the condoms cause Im a girl,lol,but maybee it was to small for you?
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post #5 of 258
6/7/06 at 8:09am
You know the condom goes on your PENIS right?
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post #6 of 258
6/7/06 at 9:00am
Actually, it sort of has to be hard for you to lose your virginity. That might've been the problem.
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post #7 of 258
6/7/06 at 1:15pm
Use lube and lots of it.
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post #8 of 258
6/7/06 at 1:22pm
I guess losing your virginity to a slutty chick who knows her way around does have its advantages.
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post #9 of 258
6/7/06 at 2:11pm
I'll second that. Also:

Quote:
Originally Posted by temos
I lost my virginity when I was 14 that's why I am Temos and why I rile up Brad so much.
GOLD!
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post #10 of 258
6/7/06 at 3:15pm
Pack a lunch and stay for the day...that'll help that lube issue!
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post #11 of 258
6/7/06 at 3:29pm
Actually, soybomb, I think it should be harder.
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post #12 of 258
6/7/06 at 4:16pm


Was she wearing one of these? Cause you need a key for it.
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post #13 of 258
6/7/06 at 4:48pm
Just pop in a porno and follow the bouncing balls.
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post #14 of 258
6/7/06 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by THAT'S WHY HE IS temos
SERIOUS ANSWER ALERT:
....
DOUBLE GOLD!!

I take it, soybomb, that this is the type of girl who does not own a self-pleasuring device? Because that might be worth a shot as well (and would theoretically be easier to keep control of if you're worried about her being in pain while you are in heaven). This is only recommended to get things started in a penetrative manner, mind you, after that it all falls on you and your enormous virgin wang.
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post #15 of 258
6/7/06 at 5:35pm
It sounds like it has less to do with you and more to do with her. Quite simply, she's not ready. When a woman isn't fully relaxed, her vagina clenches up, thus denying you entry. It'll come naturally in time.
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post #16 of 258
6/7/06 at 5:48pm
Foreplay is also mandatory... and lots of it. Also, this must be asked you understand, but have you even gone down on her yet soy?
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post #17 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:05pm
The girl is religious though, maybe she doesn't like the idea of oral in any way.
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post #18 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:11pm
If she can't get wet via foreplay, use lube. KY is a girls (and guys) best friend.
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post #19 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:19pm
Seriously- Soy- go down on before anything. She'll be yours for life.
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post #20 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ServantOfDagon
The girl is religious though, maybe she doesn't like the idea of oral in any way.
Unless mentally indoctrinated to think it "dirty" or "wrong", it's been my experience that any girl that is averse to the act simply needs to be given the opportunity to let go and enjoy it.

Unless we're talkin' BJs (I know we aren't, but I'm simply clarifying since you used the more general term "oral"), in which case any girls who don't like it generally aren't gonna get any better at it.
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post #21 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:32pm
Of course she's indoctrinated, that's what the religion is for, silly. And yes, drinking from the furry cup is your ticket to freedom here.
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post #22 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:35pm
Getting comfortable with and good at foreplay is the best thing you can do. Get to know the layout of her holiest of holies, as best as you can. If insertion is a problem, try using your finger first. That will help you understand how she is shaped inside, and prepare her for the sensation of penetration. But be gentle since she probably hasn't done a lot of this stuff before. And fer godssake find her clit, man! (A tongue here is preferred, but a wet finger will do.)
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post #23 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:39pm
No matter how devout a girl might be, you'll find most of them are more than willing to lose their religion long enough to get theirs.
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post #24 of 258
6/7/06 at 6:58pm
so basically you have to munch some box to loosen things up, should be interesting with that aforementioned rainforest/dr j in a scissors hold bush. After you successfully lick the coldcuts in a haystack, you might want to have her just sit on your dork instead of you trying to ramrod that thing in there like you're unlocking your front door in the dark. That way she'll have control over what's going on and be less likely to fight it.
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post #25 of 258
6/7/06 at 7:00pm
Forget this oral sex nonsense soy, just pick up some Rohypnol and a crowbar and you’ll be making sweet love in no time.
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post #26 of 258
6/7/06 at 7:14pm
Don't listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you!
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post #27 of 258
6/7/06 at 7:24pm
So if you're trying to sift through bullshit, I'd just like to point out that Diva has given you the most accurate response. The exact same thing happened to me, and your only solution is to just keep on tryin'. Lubricant can definitely help.
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post #28 of 258
6/7/06 at 10:45pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the helpful advice. I do try to do oral sex but she is embarressed about all the hair, so she doesn't really like it or at the very least says she doesn't.

I think Diva has the right idea about waiting. We talked and decided that was probably the problem, so we're gonna wait a little bit longer. Thanks again for your advice and humor.
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post #29 of 258
6/7/06 at 10:50pm
Gonna take the road less traveled and offer a real suggestion using the actual English language (why is it so hard for people to talk about sex without resorting to outrageously lame euphamisms?).

In regards to the pubic hair, if done correctly, you helping her tidy that area up can be a nice erotic warmup. Doesn't sound like it on paper but it's true. And yeah, waiting is probably a good thing, even though it's going to be a touch difficult it should never be a case of force (not force as in you forcing her...well you know what I mean).
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post #30 of 258
6/7/06 at 10:59pm
A good massage (shoulders, back, feet, legs, arms) will help get things moving along as well.
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post #31 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:02pm
Thread Starter 
Oh yes, when it comes to massages, I am well off. I have REALLY big hands, and I really like to give them, so yeah, no matter what we end up doing, it usually starts with me massaging her.
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post #32 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:04pm
Why did Jason list off the various parts of the body suitable for a massage?
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post #33 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:05pm
Yikes.
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post #34 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:06pm
Does it fucking matter either way?
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post #35 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:06pm
For some reason it amused me. "Shoulders, back, feet, legs, arms..."
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post #36 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:06pm
Goddammit...why is it when I respond to a JPT post it always ends up above the post I was responding to?
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post #37 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by soybomb42
I am well off. I have REALLY big hands
Once again, congratulations!
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post #38 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JGButler
In regards to the pubic hair, if done correctly, you helping her tidy that area up can be a nice erotic warmup. Doesn't sound like it on paper but it's true.
Dude. They haven't had sex yet. You think a girl would let you shave her before you ever banged her?
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post #39 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
For some reason it amused me. "Shoulders, back, feet, legs, arms..."
Yes... I included parts some people wouldn't think to get around to. I'd also include hands, but then you might freak out.
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post #40 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:08pm
Yep, nobody would think to massage the back.
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post #41 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Dude. They haven't had sex yet. You think a girl would let you shave her before you ever banged her?
Sure. For one, it's not like she's actively telling him no to sex. I'm not saying break out the razorblade, but get the trimmer. For one it fosters intimacy and two it solves a problem that is apparently hindering the experience.
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post #42 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:10pm
Not without having to point it out first.
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post #43 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:11pm
Alright, I just want to be clear that the next time I give a back massage that I'm stealing from the master.
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post #44 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:13pm
Keep it up... I'm sure it'll eventually get funny.
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post #45 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:13pm
I dunno JPT...I mean, usually when someone wants a massage the first thing you start on is the back.
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post #46 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
Alright, I just want to be clear that the next time I give a back massage that I'm stealing from the master.
I like to take as much sex advice as possible from JP. I also mention this to my fuck-buddy (Build-A-Bear of course) during coitus.
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post #47 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:14pm
Thread Starter 
I find it funny that you have some kind of problem admitting that it was somewhat silly to mention the back.
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post #48 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JGButler
Sure. For one, it's not like she's actively telling him no to sex. I'm not saying break out the razorblade, but get the trimmer. For one it fosters intimacy and two it solves a problem that is apparently hindering the experience.
But she's obviously shy if he can't get it in- I think whipping out a trimmer would freak her out even more.
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post #49 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:16pm
What could possibly make you sure of that?
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post #50 of 258
6/7/06 at 11:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
But she's obviously shy if he can't get it in- I think whipping out a trimmer would freak her out even more.
Yeah that made me chuckle. Don't whip it out but talk to her about it, see if she's up for it then give it a go.
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