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Box Uwe Boll

post #1 of 24
6/14/06 at 12:01pm
Thread Starter 
Source

Quote:
Toward the end of shooting on POSTAL, which rolls in Vancouver in late September, five selected critics will be flown to the Canadian city, put up in hotel rooms, and given the opportunity to don boxing gloves and step into the ring with Boll for a 10-bout match. Five matches will be held over the last two days of filming, and portions of the fights will be used in the POSTAL feature, and also broadcast on the Internet.
Maybe someone from CHUD wants to take him on? I'd be down to beat the man but didn't write enough stuff about his crappy movies in 2005.
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post #2 of 24
6/14/06 at 12:14pm
I'm bored of Uwe Boll. And I don't just mean his films.

It's not that funny or interesting anymore. Stop giving him the attention he craves and flush him away.
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post #3 of 24
6/14/06 at 12:31pm
I hope he pounds all those guys to shit. "Waah waah he ruined the best gamez evarrr!!!!"
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post #4 of 24
6/14/06 at 12:35pm
Thread Starter 
I just don't know how he's going to last through 5 10-round matches in 2 days.
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post #5 of 24
6/14/06 at 12:45pm
Perhaps he'll use all the gadgets he created in the bitter years he spent sulking over the fact Mr. Incredible didn't want to take him on as his young ward.

IncrediBoll.
Sorry.
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post #6 of 24
6/14/06 at 3:26pm
Isn't this the eighth time this has been posted?
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post #7 of 24
6/14/06 at 5:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
I just don't know how he's going to last through 5 10-round matches in 2 days.
Hey maybe it'll help the quality of his movies.
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post #8 of 24
6/14/06 at 8:31pm
There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.

Boll is so last year.
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post #9 of 24
9/7/06 at 5:20pm
Thread Starter 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GjM2w5FOPQw

He beat his first contender. Hahahaha... that guy couldn't take a punch.
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post #10 of 24
9/7/06 at 5:29pm
Can we get a MMA fighter to go undercover as a critic so he could go against Boll ?

Please ?
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post #11 of 24
9/7/06 at 6:25pm
Thread Starter 
Please- that's the whole point: go against pale, scrawny web critics. None bigger than him, either (think that cap was 190 pounds?)

I'm interested in how the Rue Morgue guy does.
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post #12 of 24
9/7/06 at 6:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winterfell
Can we get a MMA fighter to go undercover as a critic so he could go against Boll ?

Please ?
We could pass off a shaggy Andrei Arlovski for Devin. Just say Jenny Craig was involved.
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post #13 of 24
9/7/06 at 6:58pm
I know someone that is going. It's not going to be until the middle of September, but if I have a go-between ask her...I could get some coverage that way.
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post #14 of 24
9/7/06 at 9:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Death Surge
We could pass off a shaggy Andrei Arlovski for Devin. Just say Jenny Craig was involved.
Or we could ask Swedish Miyagi to send his Fedor dude.
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post #15 of 24
9/11/06 at 2:15pm
i'd let him break my nose if it meant he'd stop making movies.
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post #16 of 24
9/12/06 at 2:55pm
Thread Starter 
You're too big to fight him, Rabies. But I'd pay to see him break your nose.
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post #17 of 24
9/16/06 at 6:48pm
They've been showing Alone in the Dark on Showtime lately. If Uwe can box as long as that opening crawl then I'd say he's got what it takes to go the distance. I'm watching that opening and thinking this guy is out of his mind. I wouldn't want to box him.
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post #18 of 24
9/28/06 at 10:14pm
I read a headline that stated "Boll knocks out critics".

I thought it ment that maybe "Dungeon Siege" was going to be a good film or something.
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post #19 of 24
9/28/06 at 10:20pm
Fourth round: Uwe Boll versus Chance Minter...a critic with actual boxing experience. And is only 17 years old.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dIhWBCLDxs
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post #20 of 24
9/28/06 at 11:55pm
The First Rule of Uwe Boll fight club is that you do NOT talk about Uwe Boll fight club...
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post #21 of 24
9/29/06 at 9:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon
I read a headline that stated "Boll knocks out critics".

I thought it ment that maybe "Dungeon Siege" was going to be a good film or something.
Haha
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post #22 of 24
9/30/06 at 9:13am
This may be the only way he ever has a chance of knocking out his critics...
You know, I just thought about this: if he has a history as an amateur boxer, he might also have a history of head trauma. Maybe this explains a lot about his movies.
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post #23 of 24
1/12/07 at 4:05am
...and he kicks their asses. It ain't even a fair fight.

Quote:
Kyanka drops abruptly, like a joke cut off before the punch line.
Quote:
The fight is over in less than two minutes.
Quote:
As two EMS workers tend to him, he occasionally removes his oxygen mask to vomit.
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After taking a few more blows to the skull, Alexander calls it quits, giving a theatrical bow before making a stiff exit.
Quote:
Paré declares Boll the winner by technical knockout.
Quote:
"I hit them so hard, they have brain damage," Boll crows. "They love my movies now!"
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post #24 of 24
1/12/07 at 5:00am
That's the only way anyone ever will.
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