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Bush Given a Nintendo DS Lite for his Birthday

post #1 of 42
Thread Starter 
link
Quote:
Dear President Bush:
Happy Birthday!
Don’t worry, turning 60 is an exciting milestone. As you know, you’ve joined millions of other baby boomers in an invigorating new decade of your life. And, like many boomers, you may be looking for ways to keep your mind sharp. That’s where we come in.

Please accept our gift of a new Nintendo DS Lite system and a copy of Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day. You now join millions of people around the world who have fun challenging themselves with Brain Age. If you have never played a video game before, don’t worry. Brain Age is part of our new Touch Generations brand, which includes games that are easy for people of any age - regardless of their video game experience - to pick up and start playing immediately.

It’s obvious you don’t have a lot of time to play games, which makes Brain Age such a great activity for you - just a few minutes a day with more than 15 daily training tests will help keep your mind sharp. Training tests include categories like math, reading and memorization. Try it for a few days and watch your score improve. Brain Age also comes with more than 100 sudoku puzzles - these could make your next long flight on Air Force One a bit more fun! (Perhaps copies of Brain Age for journalists joining you on your next flight would be a nice distraction!)
Have fun exploring Brain Age with your Nintendo DS Lite and be sure to let us know your brain age!

Have a tremendous birthday!

Sincerely,

Your Friends at Nintendo
I'm not sure whether to interpret them given Bush Brain Age as a sweet gesture or the greatest back handed compliment ever.
post #2 of 42
I'm willing to go with sweet gesture.

Still, just because it's sweet doesn't make it less resemble giving a monkey a quantum physics equation.
post #3 of 42
I bet the bastard will cheat on Markiokart Wifi.
post #4 of 42
Shit, now we're gonna end up at war with the Mushroom Kingdom.
post #5 of 42
This will look great next to his Segway. Fucking nerd.
post #6 of 42
I wonder if they gave him the pink one.
post #7 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
Shit, now we're gonna end up at war with the Mushroom Kingdom.
Great. Everytime we visit the princess' castle we'll be afraid of some Bomb-omb blowing the place up.
post #8 of 42
"The best intelligence we had at the time told us the Princess was in this castle."
post #9 of 42
This could all turn out great. The sun-bright dual screens of the DS could distract him for the next two years.
post #10 of 42
Poor Koopa Troopers are going to be followed by the cops and forced to remove their shells everytime they get on a moving platform.
post #11 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Poor Koopa Troopers are going to be followed by the cops and forced to remove their shells everytime they get on a moving platform.
Another question here is whether or not the U.S. are gonna put Bowser to trial for war crimes after they capture him.
post #12 of 42
CNN is now reporting we took Ludwig Van Koopa out in an airstrike. Goddamn this senseless war.
post #13 of 42
All this fighting, and we still haven't found the princess! It's all lies, I tell you!
post #14 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Shape
CNN is now reporting we took Ludwig Van Koopa out in an airstrike. Goddamn this senseless war.
From the Press Conference-

post #15 of 42
post #16 of 42
And people say Nintendo doesn't cater to children...
post #17 of 42
We're jumping on turtles there so they don't jump on us here.
post #18 of 42
North Korea just launched seven power-up mushrooms.
post #19 of 42
post #20 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
North Korea just launched seven power-up mushrooms
"Our military will continue with launch drills in the future as part of efforts to strengthen self-defense deterrent. If anyone intends to dispute or add pressure about this, we will have to take stronger physical actions in other forms."

In other words:

post #21 of 42

"Your princess is in another castle."
post #22 of 42
The Marines have been alerted to the North Korea situation. The good news is our special forces are ready to enter the situation:

The bad news is, the whole "Don't ask Don't tell" situation has left some of our best soldiers in the lurch:
post #23 of 42


Those bastards.
post #24 of 42
god damn this is some good stuff..
post #25 of 42
*watches the thread screech to a halt*

Edit: Whoops, nevermind.
post #26 of 42
It's cute how you guys think Bush will figure out how to turn the system on.
post #27 of 42
Or open it.
post #28 of 42
Don't fret, I'm sure he'll create a new fully-staffed cabinet position in order to deal with these issues. "The Department of Packaging and Console Operations" or something...
post #29 of 42
"Wii will not tire; Wii will not falter; Wii will not fail."
post #30 of 42
If anything, he won't be able to use the DS because it requires him to see more than one perspective.
post #31 of 42
I can only imagine his reaction when he gets to the part of Brain Age where he has to count the little black guys holding hands and living in the same house together.
post #32 of 42
And I don't think he'll be able to handle being bested in a fair contest by anything or anyone.
post #33 of 42
Hay-oh!
post #34 of 42
Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll have a siezure.
post #35 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello


Those bastards.
Wow, that's hysterical.
post #36 of 42
Hysterical indeed.

Our dear Uncle Cthulhu is gonna have another seizure....
post #37 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord
Wow, that's hysterical.
Aww, too soon?
post #38 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello


Those bastards.
That makes creating this thread worth it.
post #39 of 42
Thanks fellas. I was trying to get an M1 Abrams shooting a Bullet Bill in Iraq but couldn't get a good pic. Although now that I think about it, it should be shooting fireballs.
post #40 of 42


I wonder when the bombs will start their terrible decent towards all that we hold dear.
post #41 of 42
I love you guys.
post #42 of 42
This thread is amazing. Keeps getting better and better.
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