People who married/are committed to the only person you slept with

My buddy says yes. He was a virgin till he was 23 or 24 and he (of course) married the first girl who gave him any. They made it one or two years and then divorced.

Its certainly bait, but I'll respond anyway.

I didn't marry this girl, but I dated a girl for almost 4 years who was a virgin. I was certainly not, and I kind of just figured I would "wear her down" going into the relationship, so I didn't make a big deal out of it. But as time wore on, she made it clear she wanted to wait until marriage, and I was in love with her and it was certainly very difficult but it wasn't a huge issue. But Hurricane Katrina hits, she moves, meets someone else, and that is that.

I do think that sex is an issue for her, and if she waits until she marries, it is going to bring massive problems to the next relationship. From dating someone for that long who was a virgin, I can honestly say I think that many people who are waiting until marriage have something wrong with them psychologically in that area, unless its some ultra-religious decision. She wasn't molested and never had anything tramatic sexually happen to her, but she had severe hangups when it came to sex and it just wasn't healthy.

Now I'm dating someone new. I find out less then a month into it: virgin. Very similar kind of deal. I actually like the girl, but I don't know whether to run for the hills or not. I've had sex with a few girls in the time in between girlfriends, but still...don't know if I want to go back to that even if I really like the girl.

And...I probably know at least 3-4 other girls who are virgins, are in the 25-27 range, and want to stay so until they are married. I must live in a virgins only world or something.

So much for "the big easy," eh?

No shit. Its not like its THAT hard to get laid here or anything, but there are a suprising number of virgins, at least that I know. It is a very Catholic city, and virtually everyone I know went to Catholic elementary and High School (as virtually everyone with even an iota of money does here, Catholic or not), so that could have something to do with it.

Another friend of mine is a very good looking guy who would only get blowjobs, but he wouldn't have sex with any of the girls until he met his future wife. She's the only girl he's slept with and they've been married for 4 years. Absolutely no problems at all.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Ok, I'll take the bait.

I met my ex when I was 17 and he was 19. We were not virgins, but we had just one person before each other (not relationships - just high school sex), so it's pretty close. We were together up until less that a year ago, right after I turned 29 and right at our 12-year anniversary when I split because he asked me to marry him...because I absolutely freaked at the idea of not knowing the unknown. I regretted not doing the dating scene, not playing the field, not doing the things that I felt I should have done in my late teens/early 20s. I'm not sure it was the right decision...I'm sure Dr Phil would disagree with what I did because there is a child involved, but I felt that I had to live my life. So yea, I guess you could say that I regretted it. Of course, 3 years from now I may regret splitting with the man that loved me so much. But, I figure I have one life to live, and lots of things to do in this life

I actually think, that if we had played the field more, and not had such a serious commitment at such a young age, that we would have been better off.

So, there ya go. My .02

What an awful thing to do.

I don't think it was a horrible thing to do. There is a huge story behind it, as there always is, but I was just stating a fact about if I regret being with (pretty much) with that one person or not. Months before we split, we were contemplating an open relationship because we both were curious about other people. He told me I could have my flings and he could have his...don't ask, don't tell. I think that was the point where I realized that if we were at that point, that we shouldn't be in a relationship. Marriage would have been a horrible thing to do...even after being together 12 years. That would have ended with a divorce, and so much messier than it is now. We are friends, and still care about each other very much. He is now married, living the family life that he wanted, and I am single...living the single life that I wanted. So far, we are both very happy...

So, no...it wasnt a horrible thing

It was a drastic thing...

It's still a shame the both of you couldn't get over the whole 'playing the field' thing after 12 years together. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. Both of my sisters are still with their first boyfriends (one just got married). I don't think it had anything to do with sex, they just knew a good bloke when they saw one.

Relationships are funny.

yea, well... I am trying to sneak my way back on. Starting at the bottom and making my way up.

Could you stop around the upper torso section and ressurect the CHUDBoobies thread?

I kid, I kid.

Glad to have you back Shelby!

I'm still with my girl for five years, she had 2 other sexual partners, while she was my first time, I had the casual girlfriend here and there in school but it never led to anything. I'm basically an athiest, so it had nothing to do with saving myself, it just happened that way. Plus, I tend to be a little anti-social, so I was never destined to be a man-whore, or be one to play the field. I'm happy it worked out this way, I'm a classic romantic, I knew she'd be mine the first time I saw her, it's crazy.

No regrets yet.

Shelby? Holy crap! Obviously you were going through some rough times and Devin hit a nerve with this thread, but I'm glad you're back (if you are). I remember seeing a picture of your little girl. She must not be so little anymore. Despite your hardships, she should be a shining spot in your life. Remember that and never regret that it was your ex-boyfriend who gave you such a precious gift.

One of my best friends in college had an interesting experience...he and this girl had dated exclusively since high school, and planned on getting married after college. She was a virgin and he was the only guy she had ever slept with. Howevah...the fact they were dating didn't stop him from screwing around from time to time. His opinion was, "I'm not going to do it when we get married, so I'm doing it now." So, the wedding gets closer, and at one point they get into a big fight, which I find out later is because my friend asked his future wife if she wanted to dip her foot in the dating pool, since he was the only guy she'd ever slept with. She got mad, but they worked it out. On the way to the wedding, my buddy (who had slept with a stripper the night of his bachelor party) told me, "Dude, if this doesn't work out, I'm not doing this again."

So, the wedding happens, everyone's happy, right? Well about 2-3 years later, I take some time off during the summer and go see my buddy and find out that he's divorced, because he busted his wife cheating on him with this guy that she worked with. And the crazy thing is, I knew this guy from college, and my friend and I used to see him whenever we'd go out to strip clubs, and my friend always thought that he was hot for his girlfriend/wife. So the two of them eventually got married. And to add even more strangeness to the story, that guy's ex ended up living with, and eventually marrying my buddy.

So take whatever moral from that story that you can. As for me, I have zero regrets. I didn't get married until I was almost 30, so I had enough dating time for myself. I met my wife through a dating service, and we'll have been married for 9 years in August, and we're pretty damn happy.

Oh, and welcome back, Shelby! Everytime we drive up to North Carolina, I see a road sign for "Shelby", and it always reminds me of you. When we see that sign, my wife and I will say, "I wonder whatever happened to Shelby from the CHUD boards..."

What's up with all these nightmare scenario threads lately?

So Devin, are you just bored or something?