Please Kill Me: The Newcastle United Season 06/07 Thread

Well, the season is only twelve days away, and during the time since I last posted, we've signed a player, won a European tie and seen Nicky Butt miraculously score two goals in one game.

On the transfer front, the £5m capture of Damien Duff from Chelsea was a bargain and a half, and I'm sure he'll do well for us. With Amdy Faye set to go to Charlton - he was having a medical there today - thank god, that should pave the way for us to sign Thomas Gravesen from Real Madrid, who will give us a bit more fire in midfield and I think will pair up well with Parker.

The search for a striker goes on, with Roeder in Holland at the weekend running the rule over Dirk Kuyt of Feyenoord and Oberfemi Martins of Internazionale, both of who scored in their respective friendlies. However, it looks like Sol Campbell will sign for Portsmouth tomorrow, leaving another possible signing to the dogs. God knows after watching them on the weekend, we need a defence that doesn't look like they're imitating the Keystone Kops.

On Thursday we'll be travelling to Latvia to play FK Ventspils in the first round of the UEFA Cup qualifiers, after comprehensively beating Lillestrom 4-1 in the Intertoto. Unfortunately, our preseason friendlies haven't gone spectacularly well, with a victory at Norwich, a slaughtering by PSV and a 3-3 draw with Villareal (where Butt scored the aforementioned two goals) being what's gone down so far. Let's hope Freddy can open his chequebook quickly and we can get a striker and a defender or two before the game at Wigan.

Bellamy is a very good player. He has a shitload of pace, and he knows how to score goals, and I would have rather seen Souness go than him when he left Newcastle.

That said, off the field he's a twat, and admitted that he lied to Souness when he didn't turn up to training, and he's been involved in a lot of public incidents. But I'd still rather have him at Newcastle than Liverpool, cause he's hell to play against.

Glenn Roeder:

Someone needs to tell him the season starts on the 19th.

While I don't understand the lack of Roeder's interest in defenders at all either - although I heard today we might go for Wayne Bridge when Cole goes to Chelsea - we still need attacking players. We don't have a truly experienced left winger (N'Zogbia is great but still learning) and with Shearer gone and Owen out, we need some new strikers badly. Ameobi alone up front really isn't going to cut it.

Whaddya mean "now"? We've been linked with Kuyt since the world cup, and he stated on one occasion that he'd be interested in Newcastle. With all due respect, Liverpool - partly because of the European Cup success, but mostly due to their history - have the ability to attract most players just by snapping their fingers. I'd have gladly let you have Kuyt if we'd have been able to get Cisse, though. I feel sad for how Benitez treated him.

You and me both, mate.

The same to you, son. I'll always have a soft spot for the red half of Scouseland.

Well, it seems we're being mentioned daily in the rumour columns, with the most realistic being that Thomas Gravesen will sign by the end of the week or early next week, with the vital factors being that A: Amdy Faye has officially signed for Charlton; B: Gravesen has been left out of Real Madrid's pre-season tour; and C: Gravesen's agent has mentioned he's interested in Newcastle.

Other rumours persist that Kuyt and Martins might be joining, with Roeder publically stating he's interested in both, and also Wayne Bridge joining from Chelsea, a move which would depend on Ashley Cole - who did not join the Arsenal squad for their pre-season photo session - going to Stamford Bridge. However, rumours also say that Liverpool are interested in adding Kuyt to their ever-enlarging striker pool, and unfortunately, if you ask someone whether they want to go to Anfield or St James', they'll say Anfield. Unless they're Damien Duff.

We play Latvian side FK Ventspils tonight, with Nicky Butt rumoured to pair up with Scott Parker in midfield after scoring a brace against Villareal on Saturday. Hopefully we can get a good result and get us in good sorts for the start of the season on August 19th.

Not to mention Duff.

Last I heard was December, but it could be later.

10/08/2006: UEFA Cup Qualifying Round, First Leg

Newcastle United vs FK Ventspils
KO: 6.50pm, Skonto Stadium, Riga, Latvia

GK Shay Given
LB Stephen Carr
CD Craig Moore
CD Titus Bramble
RB Celestine Babyaro
DM Nicky Butt
CM Belogazou Emre
CM Scott Parker
LF Damien Duff
CF Shola Ameobi
RF Nolberto Solano

Subs:
Steve Harper
Albert Luque
Charles N'Zogbia
James Milner
Peter Ramage
Steven Taylor
Alan O'Brien
Summary - First Half

5m – Newcastle fumble, the defence looks a shambles and Ventspils nearly score.

6m – Parker shoots from outside of the area, ball is deflected and creeps past the post.

7m – Another deflection as Emre shoots, but the goalkeeper catches.

12m - A mazy run from Duff leads to a cross from the right from Solano, with Ameobi putting his header over the bar.

15m - Another cross from the right from Carr, but Ameobi cannot get there.

17m - Another run from Duff forces a corner on the right side.

17m - The corner is defended well, with a blocked shot by Butt being the only attacking chance.

26m - Good work by Duff on the left squaring a decent ball into the box, but Ventspils get it away.

43m - Newcastle's sieve-like defence works against them again as a Ventspils through-ball nearly results in a goal, with Carr thankfully dealing with it well.

44m - Free kick by Solano a few yards out of the box. Straight at the keeper.

Newcastle United 0 FK Ventspils 0 - Half-time: Fairly interesting game, pretty comfortable with their only chances coming from us making mistakes. We're lacking any killer instinct at the moment, so let's hope that changes in the second-half.


Second Half - Summary

46m - Yellow Card - Craig Moore for a collision with a Ventspils player.

51m - Free kick taken by Emre, but Craig Moore penalized for jumping on defender's shoulders.

54m - Good shot by Duff, but past the left hand side post.

55m - Emre shoots, but not powerful enough and the keeper handles well.

57m - A great ball from Babyaro plays in Duff, but his ball to Parker bounces off his feet and the shot is high.

60m - Latvian chicks: pretty hot.

65m - Good break by Parker, pass to Duff who shoots, keeper seemed to save it, but goal kick was given.

67m - Great play by Ameobi in left side of box, crosses for Solano who totally miscues. Doh!

70m - GOAL! Titus Bramble, great header from Emre's corner from the left.

74m - Parker shoots from outside the box, with Butt agonisingly close to getting on the end of it.

78m - Substitution: 14 Charles N'Zogbia (5 Belogozou Emre)

80m - Good long pass by Solano but too far for Duff to reach.

83m - Substitution: 16 James Milner (4 Nolberto Solano)

86m - Substitution: 26 Peter Ramage (33 Celestine Babyaro)

Newcastle United 1 FK Ventspils 0 - Full-time: good solid result. Not overly convinced with our play, but we got the result, and that's what matters.

MoM: Scott Parker.

Thanks Ade. The same to 'pool.

In news today, Shay Given has been talking about his back strain against Ventspils, and Roeder has denied a spat with Emre. Given says his back should be fine for the game against Wigan next weekend, and Roeder has said that Emre's trip straight down the tunnel after being substituted on Thursday night was not evidence of a bust-up, but rather Emre going straight for treatment after taking a knock.

You're right, I've never gotten along with Babayaro. I just hope the rumours about Wayne Bridge are true, and we can get a decent left back at St. James.

Well, five days to the first game and we're still a shadow of a side. After seeing us against Ventspils, I hate to sound this negative this early in the season, but we look fucked. Roeder keeps promising there'll be signings, and mentions all these players, but with Feyenoord asking too much for Kuyt, Martins apparently being six years older than he said he was, and Bridge probably staying as the Ashley Cole saga doesn't look to be resolving itself any time soon, we're looking bottom half at best right now.

Rumours are now persisting that Obafemi Martins' agent is desperately trying to get Premiership clubs to sign the player, with the allegations about his age apparently being unfounded, but it looks like Newcastle's interest has cooled. Martins is now third in line up front for Inter Milan after their recent signings of Hernan Crespo and Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

The rumour mill has also thrown up Wigan striker Henri Camara's name as a possible target, which would be interesting as they are our hosts for the first game of the season on Saturday. Unfortunately, the rumours also say Dirk Kuyt - who on Sunday said he would be eager to fill Alan Shearer's boots - is a shoe-in for Liverpool, although it'll be interesting to see who'll be sitting on the bench between Kuyt, Bellamy (notorious for having a barny at anything) and Peter Crouch. The idea of an in-depth squad is always a promising one, but in this day and age, I wonder how many players will stand for it, especially considering what happened to Shaun Wright-Phillips, who certainly would have been in the England squad had Chelsea not kept him on the bench all season (although even at that, he would have been much better value than Theo Walcott).

More transfer speculation, with Guardian Online suggesting Newcastle have agreed a fee of £5m with Fulham for 20-year-old Dutch striker Collins John. John only made 16 starts last season, but scored 11 goals, making him an attractive and cheap prospect, especially in comparison to Obafemi Martins, whose market price - at least according to Inter - is £10m. It's probably a good thing we didn't buy Dean Ashton, who unfortunately broke his ankle earlier today in the England training session, and is expected to be out of action until November.

The Guardian also mention Wayne Bridge, although any deal is still very much on the condition that the Ashley Cole transfer goes through, and rumour has it that it's ready to go in the next couple of days. Hopefully that can all be tied up soon, as we're in dire need of players.

Roeder was interviewed on BBC Radio Newcastle last night, and gave an insight into his striker hunt, as well as his thoughts of some of the players and our defensive issues.


Rumours are going round today on Kuyt with different information - some people say he only wants to go to Liverpool, with others saying Newcastle is his preferred destination. I agree about Shearer - we've known for two seasons that he was ready to retire, and it's ludicrous that we're three days away from the first game of the season and we don't have a replacement. I also respect what he has to say about the number nine shirt, and I agree, that number means more to Newcastle than any other club.

I thought we played well, but honestly, I find it hard to get interested in England games nowadays. I hope with Venables in the setup we can perhaps get back to the type of football we played in Euro 96. That was the last time I really felt proud to support England.

Apparently, Kuyt said after last night's victory over the Republic of Ireland that "There are a few clubs interested - but only one is my dream club. "I don't want to say anything about that - but I think we can say more in a few days."

Which obviously means he's going to Liverpool. Fuck.

More bad news. After the confirmation that Kuyt is heading to Anfield, Glenn "Patience" Roeder has admitted Michael Owen might not play this season. Owen was originally thought to be back in March, but is heading to the States to have a second operation on his knee ligaments, which casts serious doubt over his fitness for any of the forthcoming season.

Former striker Les Ferdinand has voiced his fears to the BBC about Newcastle's lack of transfer activity:
Can't argue with him, really. It's a frustrating time to be a NUFC supporter.

It is Asprilla! The man was insane, but god he was special on his day.

I think Chimbonda is available for the right price, but I also think we should have gone in for Curtis Davies. I like Bridge, but he hasn't really had that much of a chance to prove himself lately, seeing how he hasn't played that regularly.

Glenn Roeder was on Sky Sports News earlier, and said that they never bid for Kuyt, and also said that he's not too worried because they're going in with essentially the same side they did well with in the second half of last season. Unfortunately, Glenn seems to have forgotten a little guy called Alan Shearer, whose goals helped immensely in that period.

Rumours are now saying we're after Aleksandr Kerzhakov of Zenit St. Petersburg, although we face competition from Bolton, who or may or may not be Kerzhakov's dream club.

19/08/2006: Barclays Premier League

Newcastle United vs Wigan Athletic
KO: 3pm, St. James Park, Newcastle

Full time:
Newcastle 2 Wigan 1

Parker 38
Ameobi 64

Hooray! A win for the first day of the season is always good.

As the dodgy Photoshop job below indicates, Obafemi Martins has signed for Newcastle from Inter Milan for £10m, and will be unveiled at St. James Park ahead of the FK Ventspils game tonight. The Nigerian international signed a five-year deal, and if all goes well, he should make his debut against Aston Villa on Sunday.

24/08/2006: UEFA Cup Qualifying Round, Second Leg

Newcastle United vs FK Ventspils
KO: 7.45pm, St. James Park, Newcastle

Full time:
Newcastle 0 FL Ventspils 0

An interesting nil-nil draw, although it's not hard to see why we so desperately needed a player of Obafemi Martins up front. At least we're through to the UEFA Cup proper, where we'll play Estonian side Levadia Tallinn.