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The Angry Nintendo Nerd

post #1 of 30
8/16/06 at 3:55pm
Thread Starter 
It's basically a nerd who drinks Rolling Rock and bitches about bad NES games, like Simon's Quest and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He rants about bad programming and level design, and will probably bitch about things you might have bitched about when you first played those games.

Cowabunga? Cowa-fucking-piece-of-dog-shit!
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post #2 of 30
8/16/06 at 4:30pm
That's pretty fucking funny. I liked his Back to the Future rant-

"I'd rather eat out the rotten asshole of a roadkilled skunk than play this game ever again."
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post #3 of 30
8/16/06 at 6:20pm
Indeed, it's funny.

Boy.... I had erased Back to The Future, the Karate Kid and the TMNT game out of my memory.

Welcome back, forgotten pain.
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post #4 of 30
8/16/06 at 6:21pm
He's right about that ledge in the third level of TMNT. Jesus Christ, I actually called my dad at work when I finally figured that out.
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post #5 of 30
8/18/06 at 12:06pm
I think I'm the only person who actually liked Simon's Quest.
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post #6 of 30
8/18/06 at 12:08pm
Can't say I don't disagree with him on a lot of this. Made me a Sega man for awhile.
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post #7 of 30
8/18/06 at 12:23pm
I could never get past the Turtlemobile level. I should revisit it, just to see how it plays these days.
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post #8 of 30
8/18/06 at 1:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason P. Thompson
I should revisit it, just to see how it plays these days.
I tried it 3-4 years ago when I discovered my still-functionning NES in a box.

Try an elastic-less bungee jump instead. I'm sure it's more fun.
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post #9 of 30
8/18/06 at 2:21pm
Thread Starter 
It's rough. I beat it last week, but with codes. Follows the NES tradition of a tough-as-nails game with an underwhelming ending. Defeating the Shredder turns Splinter into... a human? Guess that makes sense...

Simon's Quest has hints of a good game. He makes an all-too valid point in why it sucks so bad when things turn to night and the lack of bosses.
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post #10 of 30
8/18/06 at 4:00pm
I think I knew somehow that it was best to leave these games well enough alone, other than TMNT (as big a Roger Rabbit fan I was, I could never say no to the turtles). I also was forever halted from progressing past the driving stage, and though I still like the game's music, the tunes from that level were the stuff of my mocking nightmares.

The nerd in the link has some clever insults, but he ends up being incredibly repetitive. I like his BTTF "review" best, I think:

Quote:
"Just leave me alone, I'm tryin' to collect clocks!"
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post #11 of 30
8/18/06 at 10:40pm
That TMNT game was complete ass
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post #12 of 30
8/19/06 at 11:59am
He starts to sound like a broken record after a while ("What a piece of fucking shit!" ad nauseum), but still manages to be pretty funny.

For an arcade game, TMNT was too hard for me when I was little. The surfing sequence was basically unplayable.
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post #13 of 30
8/19/06 at 1:36pm
"I'm gonna nail Roger Rabbit to a fuckin' cross."
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post #14 of 30
8/19/06 at 3:20pm
I actually made it to Shredder in the TMNT game. Then I died and could never bring myself to even attempt it again, it took freakin forever just to get to him.
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post #15 of 30
8/19/06 at 3:28pm
This guy doesn't sound very angry.
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post #16 of 30
8/23/06 at 12:10am
There's something about the way in which he sips beer in the middle of a rant that seems very forced. Other than that though, it's gold.
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post #17 of 30
8/23/06 at 8:59am
You know, that actually bothered me quite a bit, and it was usually followed by his annoying non-catchphrase that detonathor pointed out ("What a piece of fucking shit!").
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post #18 of 30
8/23/06 at 9:13am
Actually I think it would be better if he laid off the "angry" schtick completely. Just describing these games faults can be mind-boggling.
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post #19 of 30
8/23/06 at 10:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ServantOfDagon
Actually I think it would be better if he laid off the "angry" schtick completely. Just describing these games faults can be mind-boggling.
It'd work if it seemed sincere, but it usually seems like he's just acting angry, and he's a horrible actor (I'm talkin Brian O'Halloran bad).
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post #20 of 30
8/23/06 at 10:48am
Thread Starter 
I find it mind-boggling that people are criticizing acting in a YouTube video of a nerd reviewing Nintendo games. Take it for what it is and enjoy, people.
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post #21 of 30
8/23/06 at 11:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert_Squirrel
It'd work if it seemed sincere, but it usually seems like he's just acting angry, and he's a horrible actor (I'm talkin Brian O'Halloran bad).
HOW is he an 'actor' in describing these GOD-AWFUL games...I FEEL his pain.

Mind you, I'd change the 'Rolling Rock' to either a shot of reaaally cheap whiskey (no ice) in a cool tumbler...or just go all-out with a bottle of Thunderbird (Blue Label; yeah, I KNOW my stuff)
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post #22 of 30
10/5/06 at 7:46pm
ASS..FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
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post #23 of 30
10/5/06 at 9:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcassady
I think I'm the only person who actually liked Simon's Quest.
I haven't even thought about that game in roughly a decade, but I remember playing the hell out of it too. Good times.
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post #24 of 30
10/5/06 at 9:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by detonathor
Loved Top Gun. At one point I could land the plane with my eyes closed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason P. Thompson
Loved Top Gun. At one point I could land the plane with my eyes closed.
Hmmm... Maybe a little too much...
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post #25 of 30
10/6/06 at 1:26pm
Nerd looks back at his childhood...
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post #26 of 30
10/6/06 at 4:48pm
The Top Gun and TMNT reviews were funny. Love to see this guy tear apart Zelda: The Adv. of Link (side-scrolling RPG-ish One). I put that in recently (have the Game Cube special edition Classic compiliation disc) and within minutes, threw the controller with an adament "Fuck this!"... It's just too damn hard.


Or the impossibly difficult Werewolf: the Last Warrior


However, I loved...
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post #27 of 30
10/6/06 at 5:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by detonathor
That's my favorite one because of the looks of the other kid party guests and the < 2 minute running time.

I also enjoy the observations made in the (also short) Double Dragon III video, but still find his mannerisms to be nerve-grating.
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post #28 of 30
10/6/06 at 6:18pm
I loved CastleVania II.

That is all.
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post #29 of 30
10/8/06 at 9:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcassady
I think I'm the only person who actually liked Simon's Quest.
Favorite game from the NES era.
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post #30 of 30
10/21/06 at 5:44pm

Just in time for Halloween

At first, I thought it was sarcasm. Nope.
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