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Best. Comic. Ever.

post #1 of 76
8/27/06 at 9:09pm
Thread Starter 
Someone make a short film of this. NOW.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp
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post #2 of 76
8/27/06 at 9:18pm
So this is what those nutbars who call into the Christian radio station think happens to the kids that read Harry Potter, eh?

The best is when the 'Mike' character anounces he's been fasting on Debbie's behalf. How is that supposed to help? You need your strength, Mike!
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post #3 of 76
8/27/06 at 9:27pm
Why toss out a player whose character has died when it's much more fun to keep them around and mercilessly mock them?
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post #4 of 76
8/27/06 at 9:39pm
For once a thread title is free of hyperbole.
That was awesome.
The "Being trapped in a dungeon of bondage" doesn't sound to bad.
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post #5 of 76
8/27/06 at 9:42pm
Fuck man, I'll never reach level seven. I want my dead babies goddammit!
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post #6 of 76
8/27/06 at 9:47pm
My old roommate actually had a collection of the series, made by the same guy I think. I recommend the porn one, where we learn that pornography leads to racism.

But watch out for the stuff that tries to ape it by going overboard. Those are lame.
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post #7 of 76
8/27/06 at 10:11pm
This is nothing, you should see Chick's anti Catholic "tracts", those are even worse!
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post #8 of 76
8/27/06 at 10:47pm
The Islam one is pretty bad.

"What are they doing daddy?" "They're praying to their moon god, son."

Then it just gets worse.
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post #9 of 76
8/27/06 at 10:51pm
If only Tom Hanks had gotten this pamphlet.
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post #10 of 76
8/27/06 at 11:02pm
So evidently since I was raised Catholic, I'm probably going to hell. What are you gonna do, if only I never ate those Death Cookies.
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post #11 of 76
8/27/06 at 11:46pm
Why does the preacher look like a porn star?

Also, I'm a little surprised that there wasn't a reference to lesbianism.
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post #12 of 76
8/27/06 at 11:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chick Publications
Beginning this month, we are rolling out a new tract series with the same story but with black characters. We have taken some of our most popular Chick tracts and redrawn them with black characters.
Jack Chick's colorized classics
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post #13 of 76
8/28/06 at 12:07am
Wow. These people are still afraid of D & D? I can't wait to see the comic twenty years from now when they finally hear about Grand Theft Auto.
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post #14 of 76
8/28/06 at 12:10am
This one is hilarious. A little kid is beaten with a club and dies.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0006/0006_01.asp
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post #15 of 76
8/28/06 at 1:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams
This one is hilarious. A little kid is beaten with a club and dies.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0006/0006_01.asp
I don't understand how anyone can buy into this stuff. Their comics are just insane.
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post #16 of 76
8/28/06 at 1:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams
This one is hilarious. A little kid is beaten with a club and dies.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0006/0006_01.asp
I don't even understand what the hell the point of that one was. That was just psychotic.
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post #17 of 76
8/28/06 at 1:52am
If he hadn't paid attention to that leaflet God sent to him via the trade winds, the kid never would have heard of Jesus and would've gone to Hell.

What's not to get?
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post #18 of 76
8/28/06 at 2:31am
I kept reading that first one about the occult and waiting for the punchline.

Thank the Lord Jesus Christ I finished reading that. What do those people do for fun, fast for other people?
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post #19 of 76
8/28/06 at 2:54am
I think this one is my favorite so far:

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp

With nonchristians being protrayed they way they are, I can't imagine these actually ever being effective.
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post #20 of 76
8/28/06 at 4:22am
Except that there are an awful lot of people who really do believe that non-christians are exactly like that. Of course, they don't really need tracts to convince them, since they're already fanatics.
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post #21 of 76
8/28/06 at 4:48am
It's a good thing this stuff is ripe for satire. Here's one of the religions they left out:

http://bellend.strtok.net/~tyler/cthulhu/
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post #22 of 76
8/28/06 at 4:54am
Reading that website made my Jesus hurt.
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post #23 of 76
8/28/06 at 10:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
I don't even understand what the hell the point of that one was. That was just psychotic.
Well, it's sort of The Passion of the Christ redux.

It's still is crazy shit however.
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post #24 of 76
8/28/06 at 10:33am
I don't get it... this is for real?
If not, it's one elaborate joke... and a lot less funny, I might add.
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post #25 of 76
8/28/06 at 11:03am
Sorry guys, I didn't have time to read this thread, I was fighting the Zombie. Hope no one hangs themself.
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post #26 of 76
8/28/06 at 1:08pm
Jack Chick has always been a great source of vitamin C(omedy). I like the one where they disprove evolution by claiming that Neanderthals remains were actually the bones of retarded chimps and that vestigal organs are the opposite of evolution.
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post #27 of 76
8/28/06 at 1:38pm

christians suck

christians make me sad with thier sad propaganda
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post #28 of 76
8/28/06 at 2:43pm
I'm tempted to ask my mom what she thinks of these.
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post #29 of 76
8/28/06 at 4:05pm
Hmm, I did ask her and she agreed that they are fucked up.

If you did not know, ny parents are diehard conservative Christians, which is why I brought my mother into the conversation.
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post #30 of 76
8/28/06 at 5:19pm
Everything I thought was a lie. I should let Jesus in to my life, but I'd rather get drunk.
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post #31 of 76
8/28/06 at 5:59pm
Man, those things just piss me off. When I was a bartender/server people used to leave those as tips. I damn near threw them at the back of their cheap heads.
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post #32 of 76
8/29/06 at 1:14am
Ok, this little frame kind of made my whole day:
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post #33 of 76
8/29/06 at 2:27am
These are pure comedy gold.
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post #34 of 76
8/29/06 at 11:32am
I like this one too.

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post #35 of 76
8/29/06 at 1:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacrilicious Supersucker
Wow. These people are still afraid of D & D? I can't wait to see the comic twenty years from now when they finally hear about Grand Theft Auto.
This tract is at least 20 years old. I remember picking this one up off a store rack on a summer vacation when I was a teenager. Total backwater town in the interior of BC. I thought it was a joke at first until my mother explained what tracts were.

I read it with glee and shared it with my P&P gaming circle when I got back. For a while there whenever a player character got killed we'd scream "OH NO! NOT BLACK LEAF!!!" and pantomime hanging ourselves.
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post #36 of 76
8/30/06 at 11:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CountZero

I read it with glee and shared it with my P&P gaming circle when I got back. For a while there whenever a player character got killed we'd scream "OH NO! NOT BLACK LEAF!!!" and pantomime hanging ourselves.
Only PANTOMIME?

Pussy...
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post #37 of 76
8/30/06 at 11:45am
Catholics have double citizenship, they can't be patriotic!



Rock music is evil! Even "Christian Rock"!



The Jesuits and Vatican were behind the Holocaust!



* The backup material is another "Chick" publication!
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post #38 of 76
8/30/06 at 12:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica
The Jesuits and Vatican were behind the Holocaust!
Damn papists! And what about that pressure on the U.S. press...
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post #39 of 76
8/30/06 at 9:38pm
Here's a great one about AIDS.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0090/0090_01.asp
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post #40 of 76
8/31/06 at 10:13am
"For more on helping teens, see 'Stairway to Hell', and 'How to Be a Successful Teenager', by Rick Jones. Both are available from Chick Publications."

Sign me up!
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post #41 of 76
8/31/06 at 10:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams
Wow. So I guess all those people who got AIDS from bad blood transfusions should have followed God's rules on medical procedures.
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post #42 of 76
8/31/06 at 10:42am
$6M Jesus...
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post #43 of 76
8/31/06 at 10:44am
I love how they make ridiculous claims, and then back it up by referencing their own material.
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post #44 of 76
8/31/06 at 11:32am
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0685/0685_01.asp
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post #45 of 76
8/31/06 at 6:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Harvey Cobblepot
ONLY WORSE!
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post #46 of 76
9/1/06 at 2:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller
I love how they make ridiculous claims, and then back it up by referencing their own material.
That's the priceless thing about them. I love the ones where they confront a Witch or Mormon or some other evil-doer, and wind up convincing them of their wrongness just by quoting the Bible. Because if it's in the Bible, it's automatically a convincing argument.
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post #47 of 76
9/1/06 at 3:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobblemonkey
ONLY WORSE!
And here I thought he was a sissy. Well, that'll teach me.
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post #48 of 76
9/1/06 at 3:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams
Seeing these in another language gave me the idea that you could have hours of fun replacing the word balloons in these things.
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post #49 of 76
9/1/06 at 8:54am
This is my vote for best single panel of a comic ever:


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post #50 of 76
9/1/06 at 9:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
I don't even understand what the hell the point of that one was. That was just psychotic.
When he kicked the kid out, I actually thought the little boy was going to get struck by lightning.

Edit: Stupid fucking kids!
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