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Gay Hobbits and Arwen

post #1 of 25
9/1/06 at 3:18pm
Thread Starter 
I was drunkenly discussing this with the wife a few nights back, and we were musing over how at the end of RotK some of the Hobbit man-love seemed to be very homoerotic, though that wasn't the intent.

I put forth that maybe it was because the Hobbits had more sexual chemistry than the reportedly epic love between Arwen and Aragorn, and since I have man-lust and my wife has regular lust for Viggo, we assumed Liv Tyler to be the problem - which led to us throwing out alternate Arwens.


My suggestion was bump Cate Blanchett up to the Arwen role and maybe put Angelica Huston in as Galadriel.

My wife liked the idea of Monica Bellucci.
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post #2 of 25
9/1/06 at 3:27pm
I dunno, Tyler was pretty smokin in Fellowship. She was beautiful in the other two as well, but it doesn't do it for me because so many of her scenes in Two Towers and Return of the King (especially Return of the King) are dead weight and stop each film dead in its tracks. I've always thought it would've been much better if the last we saw of Arwen was in Rivendell, not knowing if she would stay or go. It'd make that moment when Aragorn sees her at his corination that much more emotional, since we would have been right there with him in the mixture of surprise and joy that she's chosen him. As it is, since they waste so much time on her, it's a telegraphed and obvious reveal.

I have precious few sticking points with the LotR films as a whole, but the biggest one will still be the needless cutaways to Arwen, and as a result, I found myself annoyed by Tyler in the second two, even though subjectivly I thought she did a fine job.
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post #3 of 25
9/1/06 at 3:31pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by g-dude
I dunno, Tyler was pretty smokin in Fellowship. She was beautiful in the other two as well, but it doesn't do it for me because so many of her scenes in Two Towers and Return of the King (especially Return of the King) are dead weight and stop each film dead in its tracks. I've always thought it would've been much better if the last we saw of Arwen was in Rivendell, not knowing if she would stay or go. It'd make that moment when Aragorn sees her at his corination that much more emotional, since we would have been right there with him in the mixture of surprise and joy that she's chosen him. As it is, since they waste so much time on her, it's a telegraphed and obvious reveal.

I have precious few sticking points with the LotR films as a whole, but the biggest one will still be the needless cutaways to Arwen, and as a result, I found myself annoyed by Tyler in the second two, even though subjectivly I thought she did a fine job.
I'm not saying she's anything less than beautiful or that she did a terrible job, I just didn't feel there was really any chemistry between her and Viggo.

I DO agree that the scenes dwelling on her don't really do much to advance the story. Maybe just some of the cutaways when Aragorn is reminiscing.
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post #4 of 25
9/1/06 at 3:53pm
I never thought that Cate Blanchett was remotely cute, and Galadriel was supposed to be the most beautiful creature back there. Monica Belluci would fit either roles, but you seized the problem at Tyler.

The problem is the lack of chemistry. You can take some awesome-looking women and find no chemistry with certain of them.
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post #5 of 25
9/1/06 at 4:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winterfell
I never thought that Cate Blanchett was remotely cute, and Galadriel was supposed to be the most beautiful creature back there. .
Take yer crazy someplace else, we got MORE than enough here already!

Blanchett exemplifies the fact that "sexy" (or at the very least "attractive" ) is only partly physical. The fact she projects intelligence and has a terrific presence and charisma more than makes up for the fact that she isn't necessarily the most physically stunning woman out there.
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post #6 of 25
9/1/06 at 4:43pm
Monica Bellucci is many things; elfin, however, is not one of them. Besides, Galadriel isn't supposed to be cute, she's supposed to be kind of aloof and intimidating (after all, the only character in the movie older than her is Sauron)--she's like the ocean, beautiful, but kind of scary.
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post #7 of 25
9/1/06 at 4:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
Blanchett exemplifies the fact that "sexy" (or at the very least "attractive" ) is only partly physical. The fact she projects intelligence and has a terrific presence and charisma more than makes up for the fact that she isn't necessarily the most physically stunning woman out there.
I get what you mean, but Blanchett never fitted the bill for me. I barely remember the books, but Galadriel was suppose to make every male creature around go gagaga through the combination you described + elvish hotness ( Liv Tyler fitted on that last one). Or be frightning when needed.

I can't think of an actress that could have done the job tp perfection... Natalie Portman maybe ? Anypne else ?

But again, Blanchett has an aristocratic look that is tough to match. I understand why she was chosen, but she's not my cup of tea.
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post #8 of 25
9/1/06 at 4:56pm
If I had to cast the part of Galadriel without knowing any of the potential actresses, I'd have honestly said Cate Blanchett. She's the right kind of beautiful.
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post #9 of 25
9/1/06 at 5:03pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winterfell
I get what you mean, but Blanchett never fitted the bill for me. I barely remember the books, but Galadriel was suppose to make every male creature around go gagaga through the combination you described + elvish hotness ( Liv Tyler fitted on that last one). Or be frightning when needed.

I can't think of an actress that could have done the job tp perfection... Natalie Portman maybe ? Anypne else ?

But again, Blanchett has an aristocratic look that is tough to match. I understand why she was chosen, but she's not my cup of tea.
Suffice it to say that I'm not on the Portman bandwagon, so enough about that.

I'd really say that whomever played Galadriel had to project exactly what MrMushnik says - an aloof, intimidating, irresistible sort of beauty. Not to mention gravitas; and the list of those sorts of women are few - Angela Bassett (too...ahem....ethnic, though why not?), Angelica Houston, Meryl Streep (both less physically attractive, and older, than Blanchett)....Kate Winslet might have done it, but isn't elfin and might be too earthy.

Anyway, this was about ARWEN dammit. Winslet could've done Arwen.
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post #10 of 25
9/1/06 at 6:03pm
I wanted Viggo to end up with the blonde girl.
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post #11 of 25
9/1/06 at 6:20pm
Viggo and Sean Bean should have hooked up. When someone calls you "my brother, my captain, my king" it's time for the sausages to slap. At least in my corner of the world.
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post #12 of 25
9/1/06 at 6:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
I'm not saying she's anything less than beautiful or that she did a terrible job, I just didn't feel there was really any chemistry between her and Viggo.
This is off topic, but I cant think of any chemistry between two leads in a franchise. Can anyone help me out? Star Wars prequels (the OT Han/Leia is acceptable), Matrix, LotR, BttF, all pretty much non-aflame with onscreen passion. Pirates isnt doing any better either.

Back on topic, I cant think of an actress for Arwen, maybe one will pop into my head later. So far all I can picture is the usual Hollywood suspects, none of them fit for the role. Tyler really did try hard though, she wasnt terrible or anything like you say.
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post #13 of 25
9/1/06 at 6:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
I'd really say that whomever played Galadriel had to project exactly what MrMushnik says - an aloof, intimidating, irresistible sort of beauty. Not to mention gravitas; and the list of those sorts of women are few - Angela Bassett (too...ahem....ethnic, though why not?), Angelica Houston, Meryl Streep (both less physically attractive, and older, than Blanchett)....Kate Winslet might have done it, but isn't elfin and might be too earthy.

Anyway, this was about ARWEN dammit. Winslet could've done Arwen.
Bassett is a nice choice... but hey, she's supposed to be Storm, not Halle Berry 911.

Good call on Winslet.
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post #14 of 25
9/1/06 at 7:23pm
Why is CHUD suddenly more nerdy than usual?
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post #15 of 25
9/2/06 at 2:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
Why is CHUD suddenly more nerdy than usual?
Don't start it Porn Master Flex.

Nerdy knowledge is bit more preferable than knowing without testing the vaginal depth of half the porn actress out there, dead and living alike. ;-)
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post #16 of 25
9/2/06 at 3:35pm
Liv Tyler has only been attractive in these movies in my opinion....she is suitably elfin.

I cant see past this point, it always irked me too. They dont have chemistry.

But I dont see how we can suggest actresses who may lack the same chemistry had they been in the role too...

(Bellucci IS the most beautiful woman in the world and how they should all be designed though)
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post #17 of 25
9/5/06 at 9:39am
If it helps, there was no chemistry betwene Aragorn and Arwen in the book, either.
Mainly because the blasted woman barely showed up at all instead of replacing perfectly decent characters (ie Glorfindel).
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post #18 of 25
9/8/06 at 5:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by cognizant
This is off topic, but I cant think of any chemistry between two leads in a franchise. Can anyone help me out? Star Wars prequels (the OT Han/Leia is acceptable), Matrix, LotR, BttF, all pretty much non-aflame with onscreen passion. Pirates isnt doing any better either.

Back on topic, I cant think of an actress for Arwen, maybe one will pop into my head later. So far all I can picture is the usual Hollywood suspects, none of them fit for the role. Tyler really did try hard though, she wasnt terrible or anything like you say.
Re: your first point: I think it's because the women are cast more for their looks than whether or not they spark with the male lead.

Re: recasting Arwen: I'm a big Rose Byrne fan, so I'd go with her. I wish she had been Padme in the prequels instead of Natalie Portman.

Chemistry is very elusive and subjective. IMO, most onscreen couples are not completely devoid of chemistry, but very few captivate me. I think you could argue, though, that in franchises, a convincing romance is secondary to the franchise itself. Therefore, as long as the lead romantic characters are attractive and appealing, most people will accept the romance as an obligatory part of the franchise.
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post #19 of 25
9/8/06 at 8:26am
When I'm a director, my plan is to literally make my two leads fall for each other through subversive and subtle matchmaking methods.
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post #20 of 25
9/8/06 at 10:24am
So, you are going to remake Hitch?
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post #21 of 25
9/8/06 at 10:36am
No, I'm going to manipulate two unknown actors into a relationship purely to get a realistic portrayal of love and intimacy on camera, after that they can go fuck themselves.

Literally.

(this didnt happen in Hitch did it?)
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post #22 of 25
9/8/06 at 7:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cognizant
No, I'm going to manipulate two unknown actors into a relationship purely to get a realistic portrayal of love and intimacy on camera, after that they can go fuck themselves.

Literally.

(this didnt happen in Hitch did it?)
Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

I think Catherine Zeta Jones has the sort of presence & beauty required to pull off Galadriel... don't think she'd make a good blonde though.

I think Emmy Rossum would have made a good Arwen as well: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002536/


Something about the Tyler family reminds me of the Dark Crystal Gelflings:




Liv still is hot in an otherworldly (Brian Froud-ish) kinda way...

Sorry for all the pics.
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post #23 of 25
9/23/06 at 1:34pm
I found Cate Blanchett perfect as Galadriel.
Vaguely menacing, intriguing, elderly... a rare kind of beauty indeed, and that was the point of it.

The love between Aragorn and Arwen is supposed to be unearthly and ethereal, it's no surprise it appears less "passionate" than the bond between the hobbits (which is earthen, passionate loyalty).
I never particularly liked Liv Tyler, but I have to admit she looked elvish like hell in those outfits... exceptionally so in a couple of scenes.

That said, being a Milla Jovovich fan, I've always thought she would steal the scene as an elven lady. I cannot even imagine how perfect she would look in a proper elven make-up.
I hope they cast her for a role in the Hobbit, or maybe to play Luthien in the Silmarillion
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post #24 of 25
9/25/06 at 3:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordling
Viggo and Sean Bean should have hooked up. When someone calls you "my brother, my captain, my king" it's time for the sausages to slap. At least in my corner of the world.
You know, in my corner of the world it is never time for the sausages to slap. So, I am wondering if I am missing anything there.

If I had to slap sausages with another guy, I mean if my life depended on it or some thing, I'd slap sausages with Elvis. Not old fat Elvis, young skinny Elvis...

Shouldn't "Elvis" be an elf character somewhere? Elvis actually sounds like it could be an elf body part: "First he faked a punch to the face and then kicked me right in the elvis!"
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post #25 of 25
5/20/11 at 10:25am

Don't know why I chose this particular LOTR thread to bump, but I had to share this hilarious caricature I discovered on google...

 

caricature_3.jpg

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