Worst One-liner--------Ever!

That line almost falls in "so bad it's good" territory though.

Would it be better if he had sang it like that "No More Mr. Nice Guy" song? God knows it would have made about as much sense as everything else in that damn movie.

In Die Hard 2, the girl at the counter who is helping McClane get a fax makes a pass at him, and he turns her down with the groaner, "Just the fax, ma'am."

In the #1 movie at the box-office this week, "The Covenant," one character tells another, and I quote, "I'm gonna to make you my Wi-otch!"

Those are pretty amazing. No more Mr. Knife guy has to be the worst though. That Will Smith is so funny.

Clint Eastwood in Sudden Impact, after catching a guy in a smashed floral display: "I'm going to 'weed' you your rights!"

Brandon Lee delivered one hell of a groaner in either Rapid Fire or Showdown in Little Tokyo (I can't remember which). All I know is Lee played a cop in the movie. My memory is a bit hazy concerning the actual events of the scene, so bear with me.

Lee kills a guy by tossing him over a railing into a vat of gasoline or something, and then tosses in a match or a lighter, thus igniting whatever it was in the tank. Close up on Lee as he says, "You have the right to remain DEAD!"

Nothing beats the TOAD line from the original X-men. Worst line in any movie. Ever.

That's Showdown. Yeah, its pretty cheesy, but he delivers it with so much passion you almost wanna cheer. And its, "You have the right to be dead", I think.

My favourite is in the Wayans (can't remember which one, but not Damon) action flick Most Wanted, he's standing on a walkway above the baddie in a factory and gets him wih a high-powered rifle before declaring, "Sometimes I plan shit!". Its just a glorious moment, one to be recited whenever something lucky or unexpected happens for the best....

"Sometahms ah playn shee-it!"

Ah, good times.

Please tell me you're kidding.

That line is already notorious, thanks to AICN. I almost wanna see that film. Almost.

Can we declare some sort of moratorium on referencing this line? Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, Joss Whedon, no matter how hard he tries, cannot explain away this one. Yeah, Haile Berry's delivery is terrible. But, c'mon, let's move past it. Let's stop bringing it up everytime a thread like this crops up. Let the healing begin.

I'd like to point out the two Renny Harlin films have already been mentioned.

That is all.

Although it's one of my favorite movies, I wish I could mute out MacCready's final line to the Blair Monster at the end of the film. "EAT THIS!" Yeah, that's right, Blair Monster- you eat it!

"I used to fuck guys like you in prison!" - Road House

I think Arnold should be mentioned as the all time champ. Though, most of his should fit into the "So bad they're good" category, such as "Hey Bennett, let off some steam.", or "You're luggage".
On another front, "I only AXED you for a pack of smokes" from Jack Frost is pretty horrendous.

"Everyone loves money -- that's why they call it money!"
--Danny DeVito in HEIST

I still have to go with the Italian Job.

"Al I know is: never mess with mother nature, mother in laws, and mother FREAKIN' Ukrainians!"

The worst part is that, given the PG-13 rating, they, like a horny dying kid who's part of the make-a-wish foundation, were allotted one fuck but they wasted it earlier in the film.

While I think it's almost a sin to single out a Mamet film for bad one-liners, "Heist" is a huge exception. That line is just one of many overly cute and downright dumb groaners this film inflicts upon us.

Wow, that was something that stuck with me after watching this lame duck of a film. Obviously, it didn't stick with me for long, so thanks for reminding me.

They didn't have the option of keeping that one no matter what. I don't think you get a "motherfuck" in PG-13 movies. Just the regular type.

It is still the worst so far. Congratulations.

Yes, Willis sells the fax line completely.

Some of Lee's lines in SHOWDOWN give one pause for thought, but he always wins me over in that flick for the enthusiasm he conjures up saying "Once we take out all these bad guys, let's go back and eat sushi off those naked chicks."

Yeah, Showdown earns it's one-liners with everything else being equally over-the-top and silly and even if it doesn't win the audience over as well, Wild Wild West also doesn't take it seriously. Italian Job doesn't have that tone, and it makes the line all the worse.

What makes it the worst is who delivers it: A huge fat badass gangster.

James Bond to Zao, who had diamonds in his face: "I've missed your sparkling personality!"

Zao punches Bond.

Zao: "How's that for a punchline?"

Random guy in my theatre: "Auuuughhhhh..."

Chris Kenner: Hey, she was frightened.

Johnny Murata: Yeah, I saw you strip down for that hot tub. I'd be frightened, too... Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you that you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man.

Chris Kenner: [nods] Thank you.

These lines belong nowhere near this thread. They belong in a cinematic museum of greatness.

Worst one-liner ever? Surely anything uttered by Mr Freeze in Batman & Robin. Or anything uttered by any character in Batman & Robin.

I am informed that the entire script of Commando is apparantly a fair candidate.

I always hated Riggs' line "In one ear, out the rubber", from Lethal Weapon 2.

No it's not. In nearly any Arnold movie he makes his one-liners great, just by the sheer power of his dead-pan delivery. Please notice the word nearly, as it exclude Batman & Robin

That is also not that bad.

So far the Italian Job quote is the worst.

If true, I was misinformed.

Is there a list somewhere of all of Arnold's awesome lines as Mr. Freeze in that Batman movie?

I'm ignorant - what movie is this? I want to see it right now.

Showdown in Little Tokyo

Certain movies, such as Batman and Robin (or Showgirls...or other similar garbage), should be excluded from this conversation. The rationale for this rule is that when the entire script is vomit-inducing, there's really no point in singling out just one line. Nor should intentionally bad lines or scripts with no pretense of delivering anything but schlock (a la, Arnold movies, and perhaps genre ilk such as Snakes on a Plane) be allowed.

The Corset line from POTC, the Toad line from X:Men, and various Star Wars lines should be retired as champions. We need some fresh blood. I propose we focus on movies that have pretensions of competency, and perhaps even are good or half-way decent flicks, that just have one or two horrendous lines.

Here are my nominees:

1)"Love means never having to say you're sorry".
Ali McGraw, Love Story. Worst. Line. Ever. And, clearly spoken by a character with the emotional maturity of a still-born newt.

2)"I took your balls."
Geena Davis, Cutthroat Island. AYIAYAIYAIYAIYAYA. How many people walked out after that clunker in the first two minutes of screen-time. I actually like Cutthroat, BTW.

3)"He's handing out hope like candy in his pockets..."
some scrunt, talking about Kevin Costner in The Postman. I know that I'm violating one of my own proposals, but this line is so truly, truly bad I can't help myself.

4)"You want to get nuts? Come on! Lets get nuts!"
Michael Keaton, Batman. Jarringly bad, no build-up, terrible delivery...seriously awful in every respect.

5)"There is much prayer to be done."
Keith David, in Pitch Black. His children have just been eaten, he's stuck on an abandoned world, and out of nowhere he gets this shit eating expression and delivers this hysterical clunker. I have a love/hate relationship with this one. I laugh hysterically every time I reach this point in the movie. It's actually joined my stable of often-used movie quotes, but boy is it bad.

The original novel is actually quite decent.

Would you say that the original novel handed out hope like it was candy in its dust jacket?

No, not at all.
No such lines were anywhere in the book, nor were any resembling them in any way.
As distinguished an author as David Brin can't, I feel, be held responsible for a crappy adaptation by someone of one of his novels.

here's something I found on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU7tzVu2h6k

http://www.chud.com/forums/showthrea...t=arnold+lines

Some of the better "Freeze Ones" are on that list.

I agree with Overlord that movies like Batman and Robin should be excluded. Part of the supposed "fun" of those movies is how they don't take themselves seriously (rubber ass shots, the Batman charge card), so I don't think it's far-fetched to say those lines were tongue in cheek.

That Heist one is dreadful though. It's actually been repeating in my head for a couple days now and it makes less and less sense the more I think about it.

I'm putting Heist at the top of my list as well only because I remember when I first saw that movie, I couldn't pay attention to the rest of the movie because I was trying to figure out what that line meant. Glad to find out I'm not the only one.

That line from HEIST isn't too hot and the movie is pretty bad but I do like the last exchange between DeVito and Hackman.

"Don't you want to hear my last words?"

"I just did."

Here's an article I wrote and researched for my university magazine. Is this shameless self-promotion? I don't care, it's relevant.

A VERY “COOL” ARTICLE! – PUNS USED IN “BATMAN AND ROBIN”

Alarming Fact Alert:

(*) 70% of all pornography ends up in the hands of children!

(*) In one year, a car can produce 4 times its on weight in carbon dioxide!

(*) The film Batman and Robin is about the worst piece of rancid shit ever made!

(*) In Batman and Robin, Mr Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has a total screentime of 19 minutes 28 seconds.

(*) The movie is 1 hour and 54 minutes long, meaning that Mr Freeze occupies roughly a sixth of the film.

(*) Mr. Freeze makes 35 cold-related puns in total, which means that on average he makes a cold-related pun every 30 seconds while he’s onscreen.

(*) 23 ice-puns are made by non-Mr Freeze characters. Thus, there are a total of 58 ice-puns in the entire film, which means there is one ice-pun made every two minutes!

As you may realise, I have devoted far too much time and energy into researching the nature of ice-related punnery in Batman and Robin. I think there are people who’ve put less effort into inventing electricity than I’ve put into Batman and Robin. Most disturbing is that I watched the film 3 consecutive times in order to get the information above. Yes, I flushed 6 hours of my life down the drain thanks to this movie. Even sadder, I did all this on a Friday night, a night most “hot” teens reserve for partying, binge-drinking, sniffing cocaine off of hookers’ tits, doing hit-and-runs on Thai students, etc.

The ordeal rendered me bitter (with the kind of bitterness only the sight of Chris O’Donnell in a sexy rubber tunic complete with Bat-nipples can bring). The sadist in me demands that I share the worst of these horrific puns with all 2 of my loyal readers, so that you may be lucky enough to avoid using them in the future when confronted with ice-related dilemmas…

“You’re not sending me to the cooler!” – a tried-and-true classic, which I use in everyday life, normally after being cornered by the police after committing brutal snow crimes. The arresting officers ALWAYS let me off with a warning, because I’m simply so funny!

“In this universe there is only one absolute! Everything freezes!” - what? Heaps of things can’t freeze, such as fire. If there were any impressionable kids in the audience who hadn’t clawed their own eyes out by this point in the movie (about 4 minutes into it), they would be led astray by this faux-scientific claim!

“What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!” – Freeze yells this immediately before freezing a museum dinosaur with his freeze cannon. Aside from the small fact that dinosaurs were long gone before there was even anything close to an ice age, this pun is amazingly accurate in every way!

“Can you be cold, Batman?” – has an edgy double-meaning. He means cold in both the sense of the temperature being cold, and in the sense that Batman must be “cold” emotionally in order to trap Freeze! Not only hilarious, but disturbingly frank!

“Very niiiiiiiice” – I had to send out a search party after he said this, because my sides totally SPLIT!

“Chill… Chill… Kill!” – I don’t think this makes sense on any level. Just because chill rhymes with kill it’s a pun? Maybe on Planet Imakeshitpuns, but not on Earth, you loser.

“Cool party!” – hilarious and totally unexpected! Freeze crashes a party and then yells this! I certainly wasn’t expecting him to say “cool” at any stage in relation to something he deemed “cool”!

“Allow me to break the ice!” – no, no, Mr. Freeze - allow ME to break the ice… by CRACKING UP with laughter!

“If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest!” – this took me about 5 rewinds to understand. Imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger slurring his way through that line, and you might understand some of my confusion. It doesn’t help that they computer-enhanced his voice to make his every word sound like the haunting cry of a whale being kicked in the balls.

“Let’s kick some ice!” – I always say this to myself when I’m in a fight against magical living snowmen. Which is, I must admit, not very often.

“Welcome home, frost face!” – a pun only in that “frost” and “face” both start with an “f”. For this reason, this pun is demoted from “hilarious!” to “mildly funny at best”.

“Hey, icehead!” – gave me unpleasant flashbacks to primary school, when ragtag bullies mocked me for coming to school with my head made out of ice that one day.

“An entICEing offer!” – exposure to this pun has been found by Yellow Ribbon to be the #1 cause for teen suicide. I did not succumb, but I know that at least a small portion of my brain hung itself, so do not think I escaped unscathed.

“Hey, Freeze – the heat is ON!” – said by Batman prior to doing something to Mr. Freeze, possibly putting heat on him, I’m not sure, I was really tuned out by this part of the movie.

And here is a triple-whammy of screenwriting idiocy – an exchange between Batman, Robin and Batgirl:

Robin: “No sign of the snowman!”
Batgirl: “Maybe he melted!”
Batman: “No, he’s just hibernating!”

I think Oscar-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman is getting a little confused between snowmen and bears. And who can really blame him? The similarities are numerous. They’re both big and brown and hairy, they both hunt for fish in rivers, and they both are very entertaining when chained up and forced to dance for tourists. And yes, the man who wrote that dogshit above has an Oscar. All I have for sitting through this movie is a brain tumor caused by excessive exposure to FUCKING SHIT. Where’s the justice in that?

Oh yeah, by the way....

... already kinda done this.

I thought that looked familiar...

In TOMORROW NEVER DIES, after Bond punches a henchmen into a newspaper roller, Bond says, "They'll print anything these days", mocking the blood-soaked newspapers.

The one-liner "How do you like your ribs?" from Action Jackson (said just before he fires a rocket into, presumably, a guy's ribs) was blatantly stolen and pasted into the screenplay for Solo. I mean, did the guy who wrote Solo really have to steal that line?

The most limp-dicked one-liner I've ever seen might not even classify as one...at the end of Species, before Michael Madsen kills the alien chick, the music dies down a little on cue and we get a dramatic close up of Madsen as he pauses...for effect...and says..."Fuck you."