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The School Shooting Thread

post #1 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:01pm
Thread Starter 
Instead of starting a new one for each daily one we can use this.
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post #2 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:17pm
Really sad that this has to exist...

The Amish are clearly better shots than the Canadians, though.
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post #3 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:18pm
Best CHUD sticky thread ever.
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post #4 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:27pm
Six kids, huh? Those fuckers really DO work twice as hard as the rest of us.
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post #5 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:28pm
Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY
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post #6 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:32pm
A one-room schoolhouse. What next? A rash of suicides among the home-schooled?
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post #7 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY
Great!

Brother Timothy survived when the bullet bounced harmlessly off his Lincolnbeard.
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post #8 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:50pm
Thread Starter 
In other news, the butter goes unchurned.
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post #9 of 666
10/2/06 at 2:59pm
Gallows humor. So great. Yet so uncalled for. Which makes it even greater.
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post #10 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:03pm
Short of pre-schoolers rioting and firebombing police stations I think school violence has officially peaked.

(Edited for ouzo related misspelling.)
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post #11 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:07pm
I wonder what the anti-blunderbuss lobby will have to say.
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post #12 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:12pm
Thread Starter 
They're gonna throw the John Book at the perp.
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post #13 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:19pm
Seriously... counting the hostage situation with the middle-aged dickhat, isn't the Amish school incident the fourth since the school year started?

We're Americans. We can do better than this.

We should be up to ten by October's end, or we may as well disband the country.
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post #14 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:46pm
Clearly, the true culprit here is tele--

No, wait, the child probably spent too much time on the inter--

I know! It's those damn video--

Shit! We can't pin this one on modernity!
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post #15 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun
A one-room schoolhouse. What next? A rash of suicides among the home-schooled?
That would not surprise me, for no other reason than homeschooled kids are weird.

What I find most confusing about all of this is the gun. Where do the Amish get guns? More importantly, WHY would the Amish even NEED guns? Were they worried about the English stealing their butter churns?
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post #16 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:52pm
There's actually a strong meth culture among Amish kids. I forget the name of teh documentary that's about how they do rumsprigga (sp?) - they go live in the regular world for a time before deciding to come back. The shooter may very well have been out in the world.
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post #17 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:53pm
If he would have tried this at a Catholic School,the guy would have been beaten to death with rulers by the nuns...
I gotta think there is a copycat element in this.
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post #18 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:54pm
Yeah, a friend of mine told me about that film (I don't recall the name either, unfortunately).

But meth culture among the Amish? This just gets funnier and funnier.

"Yo, Hezekiah! You got any crank?"
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post #19 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:57pm
Rumspringa. Devil's Playground.

I imagine Amish hunt and drive vermin and predators off their farms.
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post #20 of 666
10/2/06 at 3:57pm
Devil's Playground. Really good doc. Those kids go fucking bananas when they taste a bit of freedom.
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post #21 of 666
10/2/06 at 4:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Devil's Playground. Really good doc. Those kids go fucking bananas when they taste a bit of freedom.
Which isn't surprising considering the conditions they live in before their "see if the real world is any better" jaunt. I mean, they're not allowed buttons on their shirts for chrissake.
*Edit*
I just actually read the news story, and found out the shooter was a truck driver. They actually didn't say if the shooter was Amish or not, or even a former student, so I wonder if this had some sort of bizarre motive. The use of the phrase "execution style" never fails to send a shiver down my spine.
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post #22 of 666
10/2/06 at 4:57pm
A shooting in Amish Paradise ?

I expected the killer to use the bow and some arrows. Or a fork. Or a javelin.

A gun is so 20th-century.
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post #23 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:11pm
Here's an update to the Amish shooting. Wow, unoriginal hack.

Quote:
A 32-year-old milk truck driver took about a dozen girls hostage in a one-room Amish schoolhouse Monday, barricaded the doors with boards and killed at least three girls and apparently himself, authorities said.

It was the nation's third deadly school shooting in less than a week, and similar to an attack just days earlier at a school in Colorado

The gunman, identified as Charles Carl Roberts IV, was inside for over half an hour and had barred the doors with 2x4s with the girls inside, State Police Commissioner Jeffrey B. Miller said. By the time officers broke windows to get in, three girls and the gunman were dead, Miller said. Seven others were taken to hospitals, three in critical condition.

"It appears that when he began shooting these victims, the victims were shot execution style in the head," Miller said.

Roberts had walked into the one-room West Nickel Mines Amish School with a shotgun and handgun, then released about 15 boys, a pregnant woman and three other women with infants before barring the doors with the girls inside, Miller said.

The girls were lined up along a blackboard, Miller said. "He had wire ties with him and flex ties, and he began to tie the girls' feet together," Miller said
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post #24 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:16pm
Killed only the girls. Comes from a weird religous cult. Gee, wonder if there's any connection there?
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post #25 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY
Can someone explain this to me? I really dont get it.
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post #26 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
Can someone explain this to me? I really dont get it.
Dane Cook fan!
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post #27 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:33pm
That was low, Mr.Faraci.
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post #28 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
Dane Cook fan!
Yip. I like Dane Cook. You liked X-Men 3... We've all got our problems
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post #29 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY
Hilarious
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post #30 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:47pm
Yahoo!:

Quote:
About 11 a.m., Roberts apparently called his wife from a cell phone, saying he was "acting out in revenge for something that happened 20 years ago," Miller said. "It seems as though he wanted to attack young, female victims."
Good times!

Good thing you folks take gun control seriously!
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post #31 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:50pm
It took the guy a half-hour because he had to pack the musket after every shot.
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post #32 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:51pm
Did they use muzzleloaders?
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post #33 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:52pm
Here's this as well. School shootings are all the rage now.
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post #34 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:53pm
Congress should start writing up the Battle Royale legislation any day now...
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post #35 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan
Good thing you folks take gun control seriously!
I hate guns, but he would have been just as likely to do the same thing with a pair of hedgeclippers.
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post #36 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dario Delfino
I hate guns, but he would have been just as likely to do the same thing with a pair of hedgeclippers.
Sure, but he'd probly stop once he realises how silly he looks running around screaming obscenities with a pair of hedgeclippers in his hands.
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post #37 of 666
10/2/06 at 5:59pm
Great! Now, can we get another sticky thread called "Elected conservative ruins career?"

They'll all be re-elected, so we need to make sure we have all of our fun now, before it just gets depressing again.
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post #38 of 666
10/2/06 at 6:12pm
Man, autumn sucks.
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post #39 of 666
10/2/06 at 6:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
Sure, but he'd probly stop once he realises how silly he looks running around screaming obscenities with a pair of hedgeclippers in his hands.
Not necessarily. For example, I looked damn silly running around with them taking hostages at my high school, but I didn't stop once I realized it; I just pulled my shirt up Cornholio-style and rolled with it.
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post #40 of 666
10/2/06 at 6:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dario Delfino
Not necessarily. For example, I looked damn silly running around with them taking hostages at my high school, but I didn't stop once I realized it; I just pulled my shirt up Cornholio-style and rolled with it.
Holy Shit! The Theory of Exponential Silliness... I never thought of that.
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post #41 of 666
10/2/06 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
Sure, but he'd probly stop once he realises how silly he looks running around screaming obscenities with a pair of hedgeclippers in his hands.
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post #42 of 666
10/2/06 at 7:16pm
My mistake.
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post #43 of 666
10/2/06 at 7:20pm
This thread made my afternoon.
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post #44 of 666
10/2/06 at 7:41pm
Hooray for guns!
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post #45 of 666
10/2/06 at 9:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan
Yahoo!:



Good times!

Good thing you folks take gun control seriously!
Other than $10 000 bullets or a total ban on all firearms, what sort of gun control laws would have prevented this?
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post #46 of 666
10/3/06 at 12:51am
It's not a gun problem, it's people being fucked in the head problem. Emotional infants who can't deal with their own glitches so they lash out at easy targets and get the attention they apparently lacked.

typical American cry-baby syndrome. Don't get what they want, make a spectacle and drag innocents down with them.
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post #47 of 666
10/3/06 at 1:14am
But it is much easier for people like that to do damage if they have a firearm.
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post #48 of 666
10/3/06 at 1:28am
Valid point, but what do you do?

Again, the problem runs deeper than just a gun problem. It's lousy parents, careless, greedy doctors and our over-reliance on pills to fix all of our problems.
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post #49 of 666
10/3/06 at 1:33am
I wish I knew what to do. But somehow making guns less accessible would be a good start. Maybe make the death penalty mandatory for any crime involving a gun, even robberies where the weapon isn't actually used.
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post #50 of 666
10/3/06 at 1:40am
Chris Wood, meet America. America, Chris Wood. America loves it's guns and no commie, fag liberal is going to take that right away.

Blaming guns is like blaming a car when a drunk driver crosses the center line killing someone.
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