The School Shooting Thread - Page 2

Not really. Cars have a perfectly legitimate and safe use. Guns are used solely for causing harm. And making cool action movies.

So you are saying we ban action movies? Damn you Wood! Damn you straight to hell!

Ban action movies?! Heresy!! Speaking of which, I wonder if McClane will be going with the Beretta or the Glock this time around.

Guns are in the same boat as drugs for me. If you ban guns, that doesn't mean they'll go away. We'll just have gun cartels, illegal gun handling, and more people filling up prisons for sentences. Drugs won't go away. Guns won't go away.

And yes, it is true. Guns don't kill people. Fucked up people kill people.

It's life.

After all of the school shootings, the filmmakers will CG McClane a Viking Boat Oar over the images of the offensive 'gun.'

You jest, but apparently this isn't uncommon in TV cartoon broadcasts.

That's as may be, but it doesn't mean we need to be able to buy crack cocaine and shotguns at Walmart.

Thanks for opening old wounds, Zod. Maybe the world would be safer if people would only point CG radios at each other.

Tom & Jerry have been severely edited. The Mammy style talk of Tom's owner now has the PC voice of a white woman.

Stop your dreaming.

Bad idea. If I know I'm going to get the chair just for pulling a gun while robbing a 7-11 for the $20 in the till, I'll be sure to kill all the witnesses. What do I have to lose?

If you want to go off on a tangent for a second, I was all for the AWB, and in fact I think it was too lenient. Those weapons weren't useful for defense or hunting, they were just toys that added to the weapons-available-for-theft pool. No one's rights would be violated had that entire catalog never existed, and the number of guns available for theft and use in crime would be that much smaller. Pretend soldiers can't have their toys, but oh well.

Even so, there would still be plenty of useful firearms available to the first nut who comes along. Reasonable firearm laws aren't a bad idea, but this would've probably happened anyway. After all, there are nearly as many guns as people in the U.S.

And we missed a joke. What's this?


clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop-BANG!-clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop.


An Amish drive-by.

Good one.



The sickening thing about guns in this country are the freaks who love them. I mean, really love them. Their eyes bulge out and they speak in a hushed reverential tone in talking about them to others, cradling it like it's a living being, very creepy.

I've heard. It's not the heat, it's the stupidity.

There are those that would argue that hurtling down a road at 70 miles per hour in a 3,000 lb, combustible piece of metal is not entirely safe.

A fifth child, seven years old, is now dead. Five other girls, ages 6-13, remain in critical condition. So who's got the next joke? Nick? Devin?

Sorry to piss on the parade, but you guys are all better than this.

I spent a day in terror hoping a family member was not a victim of a school shooting (Springfield,OR - May '98). I remember how fucked up our community was in the wake of that bloody day. What I don't remember is having a bunch of smarmy assholes clamoring over one another to make the wittiest post of the day trivializing the deaths of innocent children.

I don't mean to get preachy, but the bulk of this thread has flat out pissed me off. I'll stop now and bother you no more.

Peace be with you all, Patrick Woods

Isn't it kind of odd that the same people who love their guns so much want to blame tv/music/internet/what have yous for this type of stuff?

There's very little you can do to prevent some whack job from going off the deep end. Just be glad we don't have to worry about cars exploding every 4 blocks.

I'm not a fan of guns either, but the death penalty for gun crimes like this? Unfortunately the bad guys are one step ahead of us there, taking their own lives before we can gas 'em up.

I'm suprised this kind of stuff doesn't happen a lot more often, really. I'm glad it doesn't, I don't really want to live in constant fear, but let's face it, there are a lot of people out there just waiting to lose it and plenty of tools to get the job done.

I'm pretty sure if I were quick enough, and had enough #2 pencils, I could sneak attack at least 3-4 students before anyone knew what was going on. I bet that would make the 6 o'clock news! Then I'd blame Steven Seagal movies just before driving one up my nose and into my own brain. It doesn't take a gun to do something totally fucked up. Though I agree, it does make it much easier.

OK! I'll take it!

I would like to see this investigated on the next episode of CSI: AMISH COUNTRY. They could dowse for DNA evidence. They'll dunk suspects under water - if they drown, they're innocent!

People can do a lot of harm with a lot of things. You could probly kill a guy by sticking marshmallows in his eyes, if you wanted to. But guns do allow you to achieve a certain disconnectedness from the situation that stabbing a guy or bashing him with a rock doesn't.
Stricter gun controls seems like a longshot, but it's sure as hell more realistic than making people better parents... Now that's a fucking pipe dream.

Hey, Captain Current Events,victims, Amish, Shooter, NOT FUCKING AMISH. Neither are all cops in Pennsylvania.

It's a FUCKING JOKE. Since when did jokes have to be completely accurate? THE JOKE IS THAT AMISH CRIMEFIGHTING IS FUNNY.

A psycho executed helpless little girls. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THEY WERE AMISH LOLZ!!!

That pretty much sums it up.

Good shit.

Hezekiel and Uriah give this joke two pitchforks up.

I'm not a complete stick in the mud, I did chuckle when the news reporter said "There were no metal detectors in the school to prevent this."
Yeah, no shit.....

consdidering the hyper endogamic system...

Cute busty blonde (M.H.)_ grissom the shooter shares 9/12 alleles with the victim.

Nick_ Who doesn't ?

Cars don't enable crime. Wave a gun in my face, and my wallet's yours. Try that with a set of car keys.

What if the keys drove this?

Er...what?

I would like Chris Miller to explain why making a joke about Amish killings is so bad when you can be sure none of them will read these jokes while making fun of a guy in your sig - a guy who has admitted to having issues that would label him handicapped - who will read the joke is OK?

It's not o.k., and I didn't know eenin had those kinds of issues, I just thought he was a bad typist. I apologize to Eenin if he's reading this, and I'm removing it from my signature. As far as making fun of Amish people, feel free, plenty of people, including myself do it all the time. I just thought your joke was no longer funny, because the killer was not Amish. The only Amish people in the whole story are the dead little girls. I found your joke rather tasteless, but on the whole, just not relative. Had the shooter been Amish, I would have found it closer to funny. Is that enough of an explanation for you?

Not really.

Ok, what else would you like explained?

Why it's not funny when the perp isn't Amish.

You know that you can understand something as tragic AND humorous at the same time, right?

Why would it be worse (less funny) that the killer isn't Amish?

If the perp had been Amish, it would be easier to make a pointed joke about it, to the effect of how the bass-ackwards amish society lends itself to creating psychos in its own cult who come back and kill people. As it is, it's a story about a guy who was really fucked up in the head and decided to take out the most helpless victims he could find. I'm not going to get into a semantic argument with you or anyone about when tasteless humor is appropriate and when it's not, because I'm just as guilty as most for laughing at completely inappropriate things. Your joke, this time around, happened to strike me wrong.

So when a society that isn't your own is creating psychos - it's funny. But the second your own society is creating psychos - don't even think about making a joke.

Fuck it, you're hilarious. Congratulations.

"It's like watching a bunch of retards try to hump a doorknob!"

lololol

Police say shooter dreamed of molesting

http://news.yahoo.com/fc/US/School_Violence

"To dream... the impossible dream!"

The only funny thing in this thread is seeing how people jumped to conclusions without waiting for a bit more details.

There's really nothing funny about a monster killing little children.

Yet Freddy Kreuger and Jason Voorhies have been making us laugh for decades.

The monster killing the kid is the funniest moment in FEAST.

Everything is funny. Remember this oldie but goodie?

"Christa McAuliffe used to teach Social Studies, but now she's history."

Get it? Huh? Wakka wakka wakka!

Best joke so far-

Bush organizing school violence summit

RENO, Nev. - The Bush administration, alarmed by recent attacks at public schools across the country, is bringing education and law enforcement experts together for a conference on coming to grips with the problem.

The goal would be to discuss the nature of the problem and federal action that can help communities prevent violence and deal with its aftermath, White House spokeswoman Dana Perino told reporters as President Bush made a campaign tour here Monday.

Perino said the conference was still in the planning stages, so a specific date, location and other details were not ready to be announced. It was not clear whether President Bush would attend

I retract and apologize for my previous statement. The Amish are not better shots than the Canadians.

Truck drivers are.

Shouldn't this all be part of the war on terrorism? No wait, that requires you to fuck/have fucked camels in Iraq. I forgot.

That's what you don't get. Canadians are not lousy shots.

They're better at dodging bullets.

Except when Americans shoot them at us "by accident".

Those are bombs and missiles. And the bullets coming from a A-10 Warthog are 30mm wide. Good luck.