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Worst Mood Killers You've Experienced

post #1 of 121
10/3/06 at 12:45pm
Thread Starter 
I'm not a frequent vistor to this part of the CHUD forest, so forgive me if there's been countless threads like this one. I'm wondering what are some of the worst moments you've experienced where things were going really well sexually than you or your partner(s) says or does something that destroys any mood that might have been there.

The other day I was with this girl and things were going really well. During an intense makeout session, we started getting a bit rough and she leans forward and whispers in my ear "This is the way my daddy used to hold me down." Needless to say, I all of a sudden had a major paper due and I'm not sure I'll be calling her back anytime soon.
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post #2 of 121
10/3/06 at 12:52pm
I was gonna post about the same thing, actually. To be honest, though, send that chick my way when you're done with her. You may think it's gross, but sometimes it's hot when women say batshit crazy, nonsensical things during sex. This one time, I was having rough sex with this girl and she actually growled, "Fuck me like a nigger!" I think it may have been something she said by accident (she looked fairly embarassed), but it just elevated the sex a whole other notch. That doesn't make me racist, does it?

On the topic of the thread, I was once hanging out with two girls in a hotel room, certain I was gonna score, and I asked if they wanted anything to drink, though at the time, I was underage, and there was no alcohol in the room, only soda. One of the girls said yes, but that her friend didn't want any. I wasn't going to ask why, but she told me anyway: "Dark soda gives her the squirts."

I'm gonna get so many negative rep points for this, aren't I?
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post #3 of 121
10/3/06 at 1:30pm
Thread Starter 
Crazy has never really bothered me and I agree that it can make the sex more exciting, but there was something about the way she said daddy and the position we were in at the time that crossed the line from crazy/sexy to crazy/I-don't-want-to-know.
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post #4 of 121
10/3/06 at 1:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
On the topic of the thread, I was once hanging out with two girls in a hotel room, certain I was gonna score, and I asked if they wanted anything to drink, though at the time, I was underage, and there was no alcohol in the room, only soda. One of the girls said yes, but that her friend didn't want any. I wasn't going to ask why, but she told me anyway: "Dark soda gives her the squirts."
Which band did you beat up to get them to go with you?
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post #5 of 121
10/3/06 at 2:46pm
He was just there for the Bud Light.
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post #6 of 121
10/3/06 at 2:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
This one time, I was having rough sex with this girl and she actually growled, "Fuck me like a nigger!" I think it may have been something she said by accident
That's my favorite story today.
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post #7 of 121
10/3/06 at 3:01pm
It was better when Todd Solondz told it.
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post #8 of 121
10/3/06 at 3:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
It was better when Todd Solondz told it.
I didn't put those pieces together actually. Hm. Questionable.

But yeah, seriously, Squirrel, tell her I'm interested.
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post #9 of 121
10/3/06 at 9:40pm
Friends of mine who are a couple told me a story about coming home from the bar and getting frisky. While he was going down on her he belched into her twat. They figured that that that was a good spot to call it quits for the night.
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post #10 of 121
10/4/06 at 12:55am
A chick called me Daddy once. Boner went south soon after.
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post #11 of 121
10/4/06 at 12:57am
Morning breath is a deal breaker too. Ugh! No, I don't want to taste zombie asshole in the morning.
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post #12 of 121
10/4/06 at 1:09am
One time I left a girl in a hotel room to go find a condom, and when I came back 5 members of her extended family were there. I still wanted to get down to business, but she was a total prude about it.
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post #13 of 121
10/4/06 at 6:53am
I had a girl say, "Are you done yet?" I replied, "I am now."
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post #14 of 121
10/4/06 at 8:43am
Typical missionary position, things are going well. She's a little drunk and I'm not. Well, in her inebriated state, she lets out a little poot without meaning to. Now, I'd like to think that this is the sort of thing I could fight through, but I actually felt the force of the gas gently waft through the hair on my balls...and man, that was it. Wanger went soft and all she could do was apologize in an embarassed way. Later on (I mean like a year later) I admitted to her that I could feel it on my balls and that was what bothered me, and she thought it was freaking hilarious.
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post #15 of 121
10/4/06 at 8:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunninRaven
Later on (I mean like a year later) I admitted to her that I could feel it on my balls and that was what bothered me, and she thought it was freaking hilarious.
"Hey."
"Oh, hey, how have you been?"
"Oh you know, same old same old. Keeping busy."
"Yeah, I hear that."
"How's your brother doing?"
"Actually, he's getting married."
"You're kidding me, little Tommy is getting married?"
"Yup."
"To that, um, what's her name..."
"Katherine."
"Right, right to Katherine. That's great."
"Yeah. It's exciting."
"Hey, remember that time I was jamming you and you quiefed?"
"..."
"I felt that shit on my balls."
"..."
"Just, you know, gently wafting through my ball hair."
"Heh...heh...heh..."
"Yeah. Kinda fucked up, isn't it?"
"Yeah...that, um, that sure...haha...is...yes..."
"Yeah."
"Look, I really have to get going. It was great seeing you, though. Maybe we should get coffee sometime or, you know, something."
"Yeah, yeah, that'd be cool."
"Alright, RunninRaven. Bye."
"Bye."
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post #16 of 121
10/4/06 at 11:30am
Not so much a mood killer, per se, but hilarious all the same (at least in my opinion). I started dating this girl (her name is Christine, this is important, remember this for later) about 3 1/2 years ago. We live in Pittsburgh so we decided to take a weekend trip to Niagara Falls (Canadian side). We went out the first night and got absolutely railed on Molson XXX. So we go back to the hotel and start fooling around and at this point it's pretty clear that we're gonna fuck. The TV was on and that Schwarzenegger flick End Of Days was playing on a Canadian cable channel (like their version of TBS).

Unbeknownst to me, Canadian cable channels don't censor R rated films like we do in the USA. Literally, just as I'm about to seal the deal, the part of the movie comes on with the girl (named Christine) sitting on the subway with that creepy satan minion guy. He says, "He's gonna fuck you, Christine, he's gonna fuck you." We both started cracking up, naturally.

Long story short, we got our swerve on and we're getting married this saturday.
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post #17 of 121
10/4/06 at 11:42am
Congrats on the wedding!

Out of all things you can do in Canada, you decided to go to Niagara Falls and drink Molson XXX ?

That alone is a turn-off over here.
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post #18 of 121
10/4/06 at 5:43pm
In the mist of a blow job:

"My last boyfriends cock was so big I couldn't even get it in my mouth".
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post #19 of 121
10/4/06 at 5:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon
In the mist of a blow job:

"My last boyfriends cock was so big I couldn't even get it in my mouth".

Yes, it was.

Yes, it was.
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post #20 of 121
10/4/06 at 6:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon
In the mist of a blow job:
I hear blow job mist is sticky? True statement?
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post #21 of 121
10/5/06 at 12:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by djhotpocket2001
....Long story short, we got our swerve on and we're getting married this saturday.
Yeah, congrats.

Did Arnie get an invite?
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post #22 of 121
10/5/06 at 12:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon
In the mist of a blow job:

"My last boyfriends cock was so big I couldn't even get it in my mouth".

Stop dating elephants.
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post #23 of 121
10/5/06 at 12:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
Stop dating elephants.
You backed the wrong animal. You could've made a killer Gorillas in the Mist joke.
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post #24 of 121
10/5/06 at 12:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by djhotpocket2001
The TV was on and that Schwarzenegger flick End Of Days was playing on a Canadian cable channel (like their version of TBS).

Unbeknownst to me, Canadian cable channels don't censor R rated films like we do in the USA. Literally, just as I'm about to seal the deal, the part of the movie comes on with the girl (named Christine) sitting on the subway with that creepy satan minion guy. He says, "He's gonna fuck you, Christine, he's gonna fuck you." We both started cracking up, naturally.

Long story short, we got our swerve on and we're getting married this saturday.

You should make that part of your vows. "When the satan minion guy predicted I would fuck you, I knew it was meant to be."


The fart on the balls story by Raven may haunt me for the rest of my life.
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post #25 of 121
10/5/06 at 12:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobblemonkey
You backed the wrong animal. You could've made a killer Gorillas in the Mist joke.
Except gorillas don't have large penises. Unless you wanted to refer to Barkatthemoon as the gorilla?

I don't think I'd want a man too big for my mouth. That sounds like it would hurt, and not in a good way.

ETA: While ensuring that I'd pluralized penis correctly (I was originally going to go with penes, which is also correct but perhaps less common) I ran across congenital disorders of the penis, which include "palmatus" or "webbed penis" in which the penis is enclosed in the scrotum. Yikes!
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post #26 of 121
10/5/06 at 12:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belethedheliel
Except gorillas don't have large penises....
I can't believe they never taught me that in (Florida public) school!


As for your disquieting discovery: That'll teach you to try and bring proper grammer to a Message Board!
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post #27 of 121
10/5/06 at 2:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobblemonkey
You backed the wrong animal. You could've made a killer Gorillas in the Mist joke.

I'm dumb. I don't get it.
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post #28 of 121
10/5/06 at 8:07am
Sticking with the thread,

This was a couple of years ago and i was getting it on with this chick I'd recently met. She wasn't that young, but had never actually been with a guy before. Anyway she decided to give going down on me a shot, and since she'd never done it before, i kind of instructed her and told her to try putting it in deeper. This somehow triggered a gag reflex. She started gagging and heaving, like a cat choking on a hairball. And what made it worse was the fact that she didn't move her head but rather remained hunched over me like I was a toilet or somethin. For about 20 seconds, I was convinced she was gonna vomit all over my chest.

Yeah. That kinda killed the mood for me...
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post #29 of 121
10/5/06 at 11:30am
her parents, grandparents, sisters, and brother walking in the door as i have her bent over their kitchen table is pretty bad, especially since they stood there for a good ten seconds, shocked and not making a sound before either of us noticed...
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post #30 of 121
10/5/06 at 7:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
I'm dumb. I don't get it.
See post #20 for a proper joke made about the typo.
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post #31 of 121
10/5/06 at 7:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
A chick called me Daddy once. Boner went south soon after.
That's enough to kill the mood for you? Strange.
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post #32 of 121
10/5/06 at 7:51pm
I'm currently wearing a "Who's Your Daddy?" T-Shirt... seriously.
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post #33 of 121
10/5/06 at 7:58pm
All very hilarious posts, and I’m afraid I’m going to be a mood-killer here.

This morning, in media res, -Bing-bong!- Jehovah’s Witnesses, who in a prior moment of weakness, I had been friendly to.

They think they have an any-time free pass!
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post #34 of 121
10/5/06 at 8:46pm
In cases like that you just answer the door with a hard-on. They'll skedaddle toot-suite.
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post #35 of 121
10/5/06 at 9:19pm
A dark bedroom.

A radio set to the classic rock station.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
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post #36 of 121
10/5/06 at 9:29pm
ive had a few experiences with quieffing (sp?), but thats the worst of it.

getting walked in on by her family, there goes our sex life for the next couple weeks as far as im concerned. that fucking sucks.
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post #37 of 121
10/5/06 at 10:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrebleInTrouble
her parents, grandparents, sisters, and brother walking in the door as i have her bent over their kitchen table is pretty bad, especially since they stood there for a good ten seconds, shocked and not making a sound before either of us noticed...

Did you leave the doors unlocked and they thought it was ok to barge in, or are y'all the type who like the risk of doing it with family in the house?
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post #38 of 121
10/5/06 at 10:43pm
I'm assuming Treble was wearing a "who's your daddy" t-shirt while yelling out the line as well when his girl's entire immediate family walked into the kitchen.

I think Belethed is right on gorilla dongs, I know a girl who banged a gorilla, she said it was like he wasn't even in the room.
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post #39 of 121
10/6/06 at 12:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
That's enough to kill the mood for you? Strange.

No it's not.
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post #40 of 121
10/6/06 at 1:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
I'm currently wearing a "Who's Your Daddy?" T-Shirt... seriously.
Thanks a lot, you mood-killer, you.
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post #41 of 121
10/6/06 at 1:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
No it's not.
I mean, it's a little strange, but as far as bizarre things to say during sex, it's pretty tame. Now if she made a direct incestual implication (as was the case with Desert Squirrel's initial "This is the way my daddy used to hold me down.") it would be understandable.
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post #42 of 121
10/6/06 at 2:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belethedheliel
Did you leave the doors unlocked and they thought it was ok to barge in, or are y'all the type who like the risk of doing it with family in the house?

we locked the doors, but didnt hear then unlock them and open them up (it got kinda loud). being 17 at the time, it was her parents house, they just werent supposed to be home for another hour or two.
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post #43 of 121
10/6/06 at 2:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I mean, it's a little strange, but as far as bizarre things to say during sex, it's pretty tame. Now if she made a direct incestual implication (as was the case with Desert Squirrel's initial "This is the way my daddy used to hold me down.") it would be understandable.

Go trim your girls pussy.
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post #44 of 121
10/6/06 at 2:32am
Why the hostility?
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post #45 of 121
10/6/06 at 2:41am
He's a closet homo.
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post #46 of 121
10/6/06 at 2:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I mean, it's a little strange, but as far as bizarre things to say during sex, it's pretty tame. Now if she made a direct incestual implication (as was the case with Desert Squirrel's initial "This is the way my daddy used to hold me down.") it would be understandable.

I think that depends a lot on personal preference. As far as I'm concerned, any "daddy" reference has the exact same connotation as "this is the way my daddy used to hold me down." What kind of sick person wants to give a sexual relationship a parent-child connotation?
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post #47 of 121
10/6/06 at 3:05am
I agree it's weird, but in the heat of the moment, aren't you going to let some weird stuff slide? Is it enough to completely kill the mood?
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post #48 of 121
10/6/06 at 6:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
He's a closet homo.
That makes you a douchebag closet conservative.
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post #49 of 121
10/6/06 at 6:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
Why the hostility?
Joking.
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post #50 of 121
10/6/06 at 11:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I agree it's weird, but in the heat of the moment, aren't you going to let some weird stuff slide? Is it enough to completely kill the mood?
Oh, I'll let a lot of stuff slide. That just doesn't happen to be one of them. I find it completely mood-killing to indicate that one is into the sexualization of children or parent-child relationships. Almost anything in the realm of consenting adults doesn't bother me, but heat of the moment or not, implying you really like children turns you right into congressman Foley in my mind.
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