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Elmo's in my vagina

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
My friend's 3 year old daughter said this while masturbating in the bath tub. Reason #875 why I don't want to have kids.
post #2 of 20
Sweet heavens. That would be a situation I would never want to deel with.
post #3 of 20
Can that really qualify as masturbating?
post #4 of 20
That word is already in a three-year-old's vocabulary?
post #5 of 20
awwww come on! where's dave when u need him?
post #6 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
Can that really qualify as masturbating?
Only Fab needs masturbatory qualifiers.
post #7 of 20
Reason #875 why I don't want to have a vagina.
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
Can that really qualify as masturbating?
Well, it's a longer story than I originally wanted to write. Another parent told my friend that to get her kid to brush her teeth, she should tell her daughter that Elmo's in her mouth and the only way to get him out was by brushing really hard. Apparently, that worked. For the next week, Chloe (the child) was brushing her teeth like crazy. Then, in the aforementioned bathroom story, my friend walked in on Chloe in the bath with a toy fishing pole between her legs. So a) Elmo wasn't actually in her vagina, b) she was masturbating in the actual sense of the word, and c) the word vagina is in her vocabulary.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh, and I heard this story while hanging out at another friend's baby shower, which was held in a bar. My friend's will find any excuse to get drunk (no, the preggers friend did not drink).
post #9 of 20
I hope it wasn't the TMX Elmo in her...you know. Cuz that would hurt.
post #10 of 20
As long as she doesn't suddenly scream, "Elmo says the sow is mine!" I guess they're okay.
post #11 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
My friend's 3 year old daughter said this while masturbating in the bath tub. Reason #875 why I don't want to have kids.
Niiiiccccceee.
post #12 of 20
That story is so much more than disturbing, but at least we have the best thread title in ages.
post #13 of 20
I'm in your pussy kids!


(I apologize)
post #14 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayouradio
As long as she doesn't suddenly scream, "Elmo says the sow is mine!" I guess they're okay.
Good one, you made me laugh.
post #15 of 20
No... "Tickle ME Elmo" refers to him, not... nevermind.

I knew a few girls back in the day that coulda been inhabited by Oscar at certain days during the month.

I would have assumed that Mr. Snuffleupagus was much more phallic.



Even Grover would have been more appropriate with his Near & Far or Over & Under lessons:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RPuZFCCwhmE
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hVAFFHjcOvk
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChunkyLover53
That word is already in a three-year-old's vocabulary?
Sure, most American kids know the word 'Elmo'....
post #17 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by swedish miyagi
I'm in your pussy kids!


(I apologize)
Remember, Elmo always talks in the third person, like Doctor Doon and the Rock.
post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayouradio
As long as she doesn't suddenly scream, "Elmo says the sow is mine!" I guess they're okay.
"The power of Mr Hooper compells you!"
post #19 of 20
corrected

Quote:
Originally Posted by swedish miyagi
Elmo's in your pussy kids! Find you G spot and set me freeeeee!


(I apologize)
post #20 of 20
A recent study showed that 9 out of 10 women would prefer having Elmo in their vagina instead of Fabfunk.

More hygienic, they said. And he's good for the dishes too.
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