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My sympathies to our Jedi friends...

post #1 of 38
Thread Starter 
http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/UN..._for_1116.html

Quote:
UN rejects Jedi Knights' plea for recognition

RAW STORY
Published: Thursday November 16, 2006


This afternoon, the United Nations rejected a call by "Jedi Knights" in England for recognition of the Jedi faith as an official world religion, RAW STORY has found.

A story today in the English tabloid The Sun reported an appeal to departing Secretary-General Kofi Annan by the Jedi worshippers for official recognition of their religion. The Sun reported that 390,000 people listed "Jedi" as their faith on the 2001 UK Census. The Sun added that the Jedi believers wanted today's UN International Day of Tolerance changed to an "Interstellar Day of Tolerance."

But today in New York, the spokesman for the Secretary-General of the United Nations said that Mr. Annan would not make any such move. "The UN is not in the business of certifying religions," said Mr. Annan's spokesman, Stephane Dujarric.

"With or without light sabres," he added.

When pressed for further clarification, Mr. Dujarric added "If I could be transported to another planet right now, I would."
post #2 of 38
The Jedi don't know how to play ball. If they had just paid Kofi Annan's son more money they'd probably be the ruling party of Uruguay.
post #3 of 38
Man, those British nerds are making their American counterparts look like freakin' amateurs. Building the bridge of the Enterprise in your garage just pales in comparison to petitioning the United Nations for recognition of your obsession as a religion. The Browncoats should be taking notes.
post #4 of 38
I enjoy hanging out with people like this, boosts the self-esteem into the stratosphere.
post #5 of 38
They're just denying them because they're Sith.
post #6 of 38
I guess there goes Lucas's chance to be officially recognized as a god.
post #7 of 38
Don't be so pessimistic. You know Lucas will just retcon it so the UN actually did grant the Jedi religious status. Give it five years, tops.
post #8 of 38
It still amazes me that Star Wars fans have eclipsed Trekkies in terms of geekdom in the public eye.

Petitioning the United Nations. Christ.
post #9 of 38
Shit - if I can worship a Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Jedi can do what they want.
post #10 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
I enjoy hanging out with people like this, boosts the self-esteem into the stratosphere.
Wow, that's pathetic.

Also, this explains where Carl's been.
post #11 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dario Delfino
Petitioning the United Nations. Vader.
Fixed.
post #12 of 38
I recently did a presentation on the media structure in England, and in it I had to break down the populace by race, creed, etc. To my non-surprise, 62% of the country is Christian. 16% is Atheist--that surprised me, becuase it's a bigger percentage than any other religion in the census. Even more surprising (and by surprising I mean hilarious) is that more people listed themselves as Jedi Knights than there were checking "Jewish". Naturally, these claims were thrown out, the government saying that Jedi isn't a religion, but the thing to take from this lesson is this: There are roughly 360,000 Star Wars nerds in the UK that think they're a Jedi. That goes beyond the easy to pick on niche geeks and flies right into spiked Kool Aid territory.
post #13 of 38
I put down Jedi as my religion in the last Census here in NZ. Yeah, I know, I needed to get laid at the time.
post #14 of 38
You don't walk around in earth-toned robes and attempt to channel an invisible energy that ties all living things together into psionic abilities, I presume.
post #15 of 38
This is the best story I've heard in weeks! We should all take steps to ensure that Jedi is recognized as a religion.

Just think of how much more funny life would be if you could walk past a crowd of Jedi knights handing out pamphlets at the airport.
post #16 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dario Delfino
You don't walk around in earth-toned robes and attempt to channel an invisible energy that ties all living things together into psionic abilities, I presume.
No, but my midi-chlorian count is through the roof.

I assume.
post #17 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl
This is the best story I've heard in weeks! We should all take steps to ensure that Jedi is recognized as a religion.

Just think of how much more funny life would be if you could walk past a crowd of Jedi knights handing out pamphlets at the airport.
Now I know what tonight's nightmare will be about.
post #18 of 38
What would've scared me is the proliferation of EU, it would've been unstoppable.
post #19 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andre Dellamorte
Wow, that's pathetic.

Also, this explains where Carl's been.

Wow, you're a cunt.
post #20 of 38
What exactly are the major tenets of the Jedi "religion" anyway?
post #21 of 38
Must be morbidly obese.
Must live in the parents basement/apartment garage.
Must bathe only every other Saturday.
Sex is forbidden? (as if they have a choice!)
Must wear clothes that are two sizes too small.
post #22 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
Wow, you're a cunt.
It's what he does.
post #23 of 38
I'm a cunt, and Zod is a guy who likes hanging out around morbidly obese people who live in their parents basement/garage apartment, who bathe every other Saturday, don't get laid, and wear clothes that are two sizes too small. To feel good about himself.
post #24 of 38
Sorry dude, cunts aren't allowed to be Jedi. We have a reputation to maintain, you know.
post #25 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andre Dellamorte
I'm a cunt, and Zod is a guy who likes hanging out around morbidly obese people who live in their parents basement/garage apartment, who bathe every other Saturday, don't get laid, and wear clothes that are two sizes too small. To feel good about himself.
Yes, and you randomly insult people you'll never meet on Internet forums to feel good about yourself. It's nice to be superior.
post #26 of 38
Random, far from it. Zod was suggesting, as I have said twice now, that he likes to hang out with losers to feel good about himself. That's pretty loathsome behavior. If he said "I like fucking fat chicks cause I get my squirt on, can treat 'em like shit, and never call them again" would you celebrate his getting laid?
post #27 of 38
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
post #28 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andre Dellamorte
Random, far from it. Zod was suggesting, as I have said twice now, that he likes to hang out with losers to feel good about himself. That's pretty loathsome behavior. If he said "I like fucking fat chicks cause I get my squirt on, can treat 'em like shit, and never call them again" would you celebrate his getting laid?
And you've never taken cheap shots at uber-geeks? Please, it's how we spend half our time around here.
post #29 of 38
This bickering is pointless. Strangelove, release him.
post #30 of 38
As you wish.




Have we run this joke into the ground yet, or do we still have air?
post #31 of 38
I wonder if the right wingers will try to use this as another example of the UN's ineffectiveness. "The US must act unilaterally to defend our geeks' interests."
post #32 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
Have we run this joke into the ground yet, or do we still have air?
Well, as you so astutely pointed out earlier, the first commandment of internet geekdom is: We're all hypocrites.

The second is: Any excuse to talk about Star Wars will do.
post #33 of 38
Who's scruffy looking?
post #34 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by g-dude
There are roughly 360,000 Star Wars nerds in the UK that think they're a Jedi. That goes beyond the easy to pick on niche geeks and flies right into spiked Kool Aid territory.
Well, there's 359,999 who think they're Jedi, and one regsitered Jedi who knows he isn't.
I registered as Jedi in the last census in a <gasp> daring act of rebellion because it's none of the government's fucking business what religion I am.
post #35 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
And you've never taken cheap shots at uber-geeks? Please, it's how we spend half our time around here.
I'm not sure he'll ever understand. It must be something, to see yourself as above hypocrisy.
post #36 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
It's what he does.
He does it too well and too often.
post #37 of 38
Thanks?
post #38 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Burning Son

Do they recognize Scientology?
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