CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › I've become a Cronenberg film
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I've become a Cronenberg film

post #1 of 92
12/13/06 at 10:28am
Thread Starter 
The nail on my left big toe died and fell off. There's a fascinating topography revealed now.
Reply
post #2 of 92
12/13/06 at 10:45am
If you start vomiting on your food before digesting it, seek medical assistance.
Reply
post #3 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:23am
If you have ANY friends named Stathis, I feel sorry for that fact.
Reply
post #4 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:31am
That was an AWESOME thread title!
Reply
post #5 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:35am
Conversely, any day now, you'll find yourself with the opportunity to make sweet love to a young Debbie Harry through your TV. That's a fair trade-off, right?
Reply
post #6 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:41am
Thread Starter 
I've also been slowing down as I pass by car wrecks and, well, I feel kind of funny. Down there.
Reply
post #7 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:45am
Chicks dig scars, man.

Just hope that you get more Shivers and less Naked Lunch.
Reply
post #8 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:09pm
Long live the new flesh.
Reply
post #9 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:17pm
And if you start licking fetuses after tearing them from your body, well I guess that's sort of a point of no return.
Reply
post #10 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
The nail on my left big toe died and fell off. There's a fascinating topography revealed now.
You should probably try to fuck it.
Reply
post #11 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:37pm
DaveB stole my thunder. I was going to ask if you now have a vagina-hole where your toe used to be.

By the way, I'm kind of interested in knowing how your toe died. That sucks!
Reply
post #12 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:41pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by stump
By the way, I'm kind of interested in knowing how your toe died. That sucks!
It had some fungal growth underneath it that I pretty much ignored. Then new nail stopped growing, it was just pushing the old one out leaving a tantalizing sneak peak of what was underneath. I finally just bit the bullet yesterday and pulled it out, and now my newly bald toe and I are quite happy.
Reply
post #13 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:41pm
Between this thread and the new Hostel poster, I'm seriously regretting that scrapple egg and cheese sandwich I ate for breakfast.
Reply
post #14 of 92
12/13/06 at 12:44pm
Thread Starter 
Hey, if you guys are nice, I'll post pictures once I get home.
Reply
post #15 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:00pm
No no, that's okay. But thanks.
Reply
post #16 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
It had some fungal growth underneath it that I pretty much ignored. Then new nail stopped growing, it was just pushing the old one out leaving a tantalizing sneak peak of what was underneath. I finally just bit the bullet yesterday and pulled it out, and now my newly bald toe and I are quite happy.
This post is exponentially worse than the new HOSTEL poster. Go to the drug store and spend five bucks on some medicine for that shit.
Reply
post #17 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:12pm
Doesn´t your newly bald toe hurt as hell?
Reply
post #18 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan Travolta
Doesn´t your newly bald toe hurt as hell?
Actually, no, there's no pain at all, unless I press down hard on it, and that would hurt regardless.
Reply
post #19 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:21pm
Wow.
That is surprising. Judging from my own experiences with rotten nails and bald toes I was in constant pain and couldn´t actually walk for about a week.
So good for you.
But then again you are a Cronenberg film. So what do I know?
Reply
post #20 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:23pm
Bah, that's nothing. I used to pick the skin off my toes since kindergarten, until they were raw in high school. Yep, every day I come home to find my socks sopping wet with blood. The big toes were puffy and swallowing my toenails.

Mmmmmmm.
Reply
post #21 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:23pm
Thread Starter 
When the whole grim pageant started there was some pain, but now it's just the weird sensation of not having a toe nail there.

I am keeping it bandaged and liberally bathed in Neosporin though.
Reply
post #22 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:28pm
I am quite positive that you two wont be casted in "Happy Feet 2".
Reply
post #23 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:31pm
I once got stepped on by a lady with very pointy stilettos and my toe went from purple to black to falling off completely. The nail would attempt to grow back but wouldn't attach to the nailbed, so kept continually falling off for years. Then all of a sudden it was normal again. I have no idea what changed. I guess it took that long for my body to fully shed that nailbed skin.

And similar to Richard, having no nail doesn't hurt. It just feels wierd because the nail bed is exposed. I spent a lot of time playing with my toe and poking it with stuff. I love examining wounds. Once my brother sliced off the top of his thumb with a deli slicer and I kept peeking at it to see what the inside of his thumb looked like. It was pretty cool.
Reply
post #24 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:33pm
Thread Starter 
I've always said we've really evolved beyond the need for these vestigal claws we call nails anyway.
Reply
post #25 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:34pm
I love nailbeds.
Reply
post #26 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:42pm
Every other month or so, I find my skin irritated by the growth of several random beard hairs roughly the size and firmness of fingernail clippings. Seriously.
Reply
post #27 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:42pm
You haven't found any chicken bone guns have you? I seemed to have misplaced mine.
Reply
post #28 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:56pm
I got that beat. I have an abscess in my ass. Antibiotics and possible surgery(!) in my immediate future. Plus doctor-recommended days off work I can't really afford this time of year.
Reply
post #29 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:58pm
Thread Starter 
Well, no pictures of that please.
Reply
post #30 of 92
12/13/06 at 1:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70sCinema
Every other month or so, I find my skin irritated by the growth of several random beard hairs roughly the size and firmness of fingernail clippings. Seriously.
You get those too? I thought I was the only one. They're really itchy and I can't resist the temptation to pull them out by the roots, whereupon I discover with mixed fascination and horror that they look almost like grains of wild rice. Insect hairs?
Reply
post #31 of 92
12/13/06 at 2:08pm
I shall call you brother.

I don't know what the fuck they are, but my skin doesn't want 'em. I pull lightly and they glide ride out like infected splinters.

Also recurring, always on the same spot of my chest, is a spiderweb-thin silver hair that is always about five inches long before I notice it.
Reply
post #32 of 92
12/13/06 at 2:17pm
This thread has disturbed me more than any Cronenberg film ever has.
Reply
post #33 of 92
12/13/06 at 2:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70sCinema
Also recurring, always on the same spot of my chest, is a spiderweb-thin silver hair that is always about five inches long before I notice it.
I found one of those on my arm the other day and I thought Jesus H. Christ, can't the weird hair growth at least wait until menopause?
Reply
post #34 of 92
12/13/06 at 3:05pm
I think you all have very promising futures in the Carnival business.

JS
Reply
post #35 of 92
12/13/06 at 9:25pm
I used to just be intimidated by a lot of the members here in the forum but now, I am frankly a little repulsed.
Reply
post #36 of 92
12/13/06 at 9:31pm
Why the fuck did I just read this whole thread?
Reply
post #37 of 92
12/13/06 at 10:02pm
Thread Starter 

This post has been rated PG-13

Okay, brace yourselves, here's the photo you've all been dreading.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Last chance. Not for the weak of heart!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And ... voila!



My deepest apologies.
Reply
post #38 of 92
12/13/06 at 10:38pm
Oh come on, that doesn't look bad.

...right?
Reply
post #39 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Jim Slade
You get those too? I thought I was the only one. They're really itchy and I can't resist the temptation to pull them out by the roots, whereupon I discover with mixed fascination and horror that they look almost like grains of wild rice. Insect hairs?
Holy shit. Can I be the third member of the club?

I've been wondering around lost in this world. I now feel strangely at peace.

Amen.
Reply
post #40 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:45pm
Eee-arrgh! Kill it! KILL IT!!!
Reply
post #41 of 92
12/13/06 at 11:52pm
Urge to scrape...rising.
Reply
post #42 of 92
12/14/06 at 12:07am
You guys are crazy.

Now if you'll excuse me, my coffee shop in Everytown, USA is getting ready to close up. Hope everything stays so perfect and quiet.
Reply
post #43 of 92
12/14/06 at 1:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson

My deepest apologies.
That's no toe... That's a space station...
Reply
post #44 of 92
12/14/06 at 11:44am
Okay, that should be the international poster for Hostel 2.
Reply
post #45 of 92
12/14/06 at 12:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kungfumonkeyboy
Holy shit. Can I be the third member of the club?

I've been wondering around lost in this world. I now feel strangely at peace.

Amen.
It's like a scene in "Heroes" where the characters finally find each other. Only much, much more disgusting. Having caraway seeds for a beard is the worst mutant power ever.
Reply
post #46 of 92
12/14/06 at 1:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70sCinema
It's like a scene in "Heroes" where the characters finally find each other. Only much, much more disgusting. Having caraway seeds for a beard is the worst mutant power ever.
I can't rest until I found out what this condition is called. In keeping with the thread topic, until we have further evidence I stand by my theory that they're BrundleFly hairs.
Reply
post #47 of 92
12/14/06 at 1:53pm
I think it's safe to say Dickson's Spike Tv Scream nom for most gory scene at next year's awards is guaranteed.
Reply
post #48 of 92
12/15/06 at 5:09pm
I say we take off and nuke that thing from space.

JS
Reply
post #49 of 92
12/15/06 at 5:11pm
Thread Starter 
The awfullness in the center in that picture has cleared up considerably. It almost looks like a fleshy toenail right now. And the lack of sensitivity is still surprising, although I'm in no real hurry to drop anything on it.
Reply
post #50 of 92
12/15/06 at 5:27pm
The foot fetishists are having mixed feelings.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Chewers Catch-All
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › I've become a Cronenberg film