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Nonsensical Zombie Question

post #1 of 56
1/10/07 at 2:56pm
Thread Starter 
If zombies are basically reanimated flesh, wouldn't colder climates freeze the flesh and thus make zombies immobile? Therefore, wouldn't, say, heading for Alaska or Siberia at the first sign of zombie apocalypse be the smartest move? Also, if one has access to the chemical that freezes anything solid, wouldn't that be the most effective zombie fighting tool? Hook that thing up to a couple of sprinklers and hoses, get on higher ground, and go wild.
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post #2 of 56
1/10/07 at 2:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu
If zombies are basically reanimated flesh, wouldn't colder climates freeze the flesh and thus make zombies immobile? Therefore, wouldn't, say, heading for Alaska or Siberia at the first sign of zombie apocalypse be the smartest move?
That's a major plot point in World War Z.
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post #3 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:03pm
Was just going to say that, Matt.

Course, it could be all over for us with all this global warming going on.
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post #4 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Course, it could be all over for us with all this global warming going on.
I for one welcome our new zombie overlords.
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post #5 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
I for one welcome our new zombie overlords.
You're such a wimp Richard.

You just have to remember: Removing the head or destroying the brain.
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post #6 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:20pm
Thread Starter 
I've been reading World War Z on and off for a couple of weeks now, but it was a combination of all this global warming talk and watching Shaun of the Dead again that made me think of that.
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post #7 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
I for one welcome our new zombie overlords.
Well, that'll do no good because, if I've learned anything from zombie movies, humans are where the real danger is at.
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post #8 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:23pm
Our zombie overlords are dead, long live our zombie overlords.
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post #9 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:28pm
Make that "Long Last"

The people in more tropical climates are going to have it the worst. Imagine how ripe the cities are going to get with the sickly sweet smell of decay. Mmmm.
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post #10 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Imagine how ripe the cities are going to get with the sickly sweet smell of decay. Mmmm.
It's there and it's called Rio de Janeiro.
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post #11 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:47pm
After just reading CELL, I fully think I'm going to try and be on a zombie helper who is still human. I mean, they might need someone to help them figure out simple stuff, how to get them to places where more people are, etc. I just hope they know I'm on their side and don't try and eat me.

Basically, I"m gonna be the zombie's bitch.
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post #12 of 56
1/10/07 at 3:51pm
I love how we assume a zombie invasion is inevitable.

Thank God I know people like you guys. Together, we will usher in a new age of humanity.


Now, to wait until we gotta throw it down with some undead bitches.
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post #13 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Wehman
After just reading CELL, I fully think I'm going to try and be on a zombie helper who is still human. I mean, they might need someone to help them figure out simple stuff, how to get them to places where more people are, etc. I just hope they know I'm on their side and don't try and eat me.

Basically, I"m gonna be the zombie's bitch.
My god, you and Dickson are such pussies. You know what? You go back and tell all the other zombies that law is coming, you tell I'm coming, and Hell's coming with me, you hear? Hell's coming with me!
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post #14 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:11pm
Fuck that shit. It's cowards like you that made it impossible to stop the invasion when it was still in it's infancy. Now look at mankind! 14 zombies for every man??? It's a madhouse out there! I've had to cut off the heads of friends, of my own brother, of my OWN SON FOR CHRIST'S SAKES. If you think, after all that, I'm going to bend over and take it up the ass from some melty pile of dead, you got another goddamned thing coming.

No, fuck that. I'm the superior species here, the superior race of men. And with God, GOD I say, as my witness, I will prevail. So y'all can go be a bunch of pussies, go be a zombie's bitch for all I care. See how far it gets you.

As for me, I'm going hunting.
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post #15 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:12pm
Godammit, JCassidy, why'd you'd have to go and steal my thunder.
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post #16 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:19pm
When the apocalypse occurs, I'll try to keep the main page stocked with the names of shelters. Can't guarantee how often I'll update them though, of course.... every minute that page isn't up I'll be losing hits.
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post #17 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:32pm
Actually, I'm all for beheading people who have so much as a head cold. Can't be too careful.
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post #18 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
When the apocalypse occurs, I'll try to keep the main page stocked with the names of shelters. Can't guarantee how often I'll update them though, of course.... every minute that page isn't up I'll be losing hits.
I'm thinking of using MySpace - that should really get my friend count up. Then... I trick them all by hitting them in the head with a shovel and feeding them to my new zombie masters. Call me a pussy now, but guess who'll be living in style in any abandoned house I want, while your being served for lunch? Me fuckers.. me!
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post #19 of 56
1/10/07 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Wehman
I'm thinking of using MySpace - that should really get my friend count up. Then... I trick them all by hitting them in the head with a shovel and feeding them to my new zombie masters. Call me a pussy now, but guess who'll be living in style in any abandoned house I want, while your being served for lunch? Me fuckers.. me!
I have a right mind to heckle you at your next show. With a Winchester.
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post #20 of 56
1/10/07 at 5:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Course, it could be all over for us with all this global warming going on.
I thought global warming is all liberal jew propaganda. When this all goes down I'm hitting the gun store then, the liqour store. Guns and booze is all I'll need.
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post #21 of 56
1/10/07 at 6:53pm
Thread Starter 
More nonsensical Zombie-related thoughts, inspired by a combination of rewatching 'Shaun of the Dead' and too much Vault Zero:

'The Zombie Survival Guide,' which is supposed to be, along with the Romero flicks, the Bible of preparation against a zom-pocalypse, lists the M1 Carbine and machete as the ideal weapons for protection. However, what about those of us who can't shoot worth a damn? I know that the bayonet is listed as an alternate weapon, and that reach is the most important thing when it comes to fighting off the hordes, but in 'Shaun', the cricket bat looked like a pretty effective weapon in a non-urban area. So what about a machete-cricket bat hybrid? Something lightweight, but with able to provide blunt-force trauma and stabbing capablities.

I live, basically, in the middle of the woods on a 250 acre camp. We're maybe six miles down the road from civilization (Wal-Mart, Burger King, Staples, IHOP, etc, if you can really call those civilization), but we're also surrounded on all sides by roads and there are large manor-style/McMansion houses in the area as well. So I'm not quite as cut off as one would think, and due to the woods surrounding the property, there are no clear exit or entry points--the zombie motherfuckers could come from all sides. How do I protect myself and my coworkers in case of zom-pocalypse. It's really an ideal area in every sense except for controlling and monitoring zombie movement outside the property. I was thinking that maybe I could work out something where certain key areas of the property are protected, but what about digging a moat (which I would not really do, this is hypothetical) around the place and filling it with some kind of flammable liquid that I could ignite if the hordes get too close? Does fire really work on zombies?
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post #22 of 56
1/10/07 at 6:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu
I've been reading World War Z on and off for a couple of weeks now, but it was a combination of all this global warming talk and watching Shaun of the Dead again that made me think of that.
Is the book any good? I've been curious but have not yet picked it up.
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post #23 of 56
1/10/07 at 6:57pm
Thread Starter 
I've heard excellent things from folks around here.
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post #24 of 56
1/10/07 at 6:59pm
It's more excellent than it really has any right to be. Brooks takes a look at a zombie holocaust with more specificity and detail than has ever been touched upon before. And he imbues it all with a level of emotion (horror, pathos, humor) that is completely surprising. I picked it up on the cheap with expectations of reading a comedic novel only to discover that it's also an excellent piece of horror fiction. Definitely read it.
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post #25 of 56
1/10/07 at 7:01pm
It is as good as the hype, if not better.
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post #26 of 56
1/10/07 at 7:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vader
I love how we assume a zombie invasion is inevitable.

Thank God I know people like you guys. Together, we will usher in a new age of humanity.


Now, to wait until we gotta throw it down with some undead bitches.
Exactly.

The scary part is that my mother-in-law recently moved into one of those huge condominium communities on the Main Line outside of Philly and, when asked my opinion, I sincerely responded, "You guys are completely screwed in the event of a zombie invasion."
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post #27 of 56
1/10/07 at 7:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
It is as good as the hype, if not better.
Ditto. I just finished it on Monday, and I lay in the bed that night thinking about how indefensible my property is.
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post #28 of 56
1/10/07 at 7:23pm
Does anyone know of any carriers who sell zombie insurance? I've got a family to look out for.
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post #29 of 56
1/10/07 at 7:28pm
Well, I just so happen to be in the business of selling zombie insurance. Act now and I'll include machete wielding unstoppable maniac killer insurance at no additional cost to you.
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post #30 of 56
1/10/07 at 8:05pm
The first thing I do whenever I move is to found the location of the nearest Wal-mart and/or gun and knife store, as well as find the easiest way to reach there on foot while avoiding major roads.

Naturally, of course, I moved to New York City, so come the zombie apocalypse I am so fucking screwed. But, I look forward to devouring your brains in the name of the New Zombie World Order.
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post #31 of 56
1/10/07 at 8:56pm
All the FPS games made in the past 10 years have been secretly made by us geeks to enhance and improve our accuracy with firearms. and possibly bunny hopping.

WWZ is great so far for me. I took a break from it because I had to read other stuff but I need to get back to it soon.

I got all of you beat though. I had a conversation with a lady friend about surviving a zombie holocaust. after doing "it". How many of you can say you did that?! Huh! Huh!

Time to outfit my Civic with rotating blades on the roof to decapitate zombies, bears, zombie bears?
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post #32 of 56
1/10/07 at 9:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcassady
Does anyone know of any carriers who sell zombie insurance? I've got a family to look out for.

Not only insurance, but what do you think of zombie proof doors? Why stop there? For the low, low price of 5,999 dollars, I will completely zombie proof your whole house!

If you act now, I'll also include one free vehicle proofing, complete with turrets and zombie catcher on the front. Never again will you have to fear damaging your vehicle by gunning through a horde of zombies.
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post #33 of 56
1/10/07 at 9:34pm
But my company provides all that AND we throw in keychains that have GPS in them so you can find your family if you get split up. Or....their arms clutching a keychain.

Either way you're guaranteed to find SOMETHING!
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post #34 of 56
1/10/07 at 9:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu
what about digging a moat (which I would not really do, this is hypothetical) around the place and filling it with some kind of flammable liquid that I could ignite if the hordes get too close? Does fire really work on zombies?
It it didn't work for Leinengen vs fucking ANTS fer chrissake, it won't work for Rath vs the zombies.
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post #35 of 56
1/10/07 at 9:49pm
The burning fuel is only going to attract MORE zombies. And at some point the moat will be full of charred corpses. And once that corpse-bridge is complete......well, let's hope it doesn't.
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post #36 of 56
1/10/07 at 9:50pm
Baseball/Cricket bat with long nails driven threw them make the best weapons
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post #37 of 56
1/10/07 at 10:02pm
And to think, my neighbors mocked me when I dug this moat. Who's laughing now...who's laughing now!?!

JS
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post #38 of 56
1/10/07 at 10:28pm
This plan would never work. If humanity had to hole up in frigid zones all the time, they'd never be able to raise crops or livestock for food. And moving to a more temperate zone to do those things just puts you back in the zone of danger. Max Brooks suggests, in "The Zombie Survival Guide", moving to a temperate but unpopulated area (large swaths of Canada or the western US fit the bill), into the stronghold you've already prudently constructed, and frending off the undead stragglers that make it that far, raising crops and animals within the confines (like a midieval castle-keep) or just outside and w/in easy reach of it and its defenses.

Besides, the citizens of barrow can tell you that even if you're safe in Alaska from the zombies, you still have to worry about all the damn vampires. . .
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post #39 of 56
1/11/07 at 12:22am
Well, wouldn't they be fighting the zombies too?
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post #40 of 56
1/11/07 at 11:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashxking2001
Baseball/Cricket bat with long nails driven threw them make the best weapons
You are incorrect. Long nails have a nasty habit of getting caught in the orbital sockets of zombie skulls. Sure, a nail-studded baseball bat may look cool, but, at the end of the day, what good is it when it gets wrenched from your hand by a newly dispatched zombie. No, according to a study conducted by researchers at CDC, the best weapon for hand-to-zombie combat is a Katana blade. For this reason, I've enrolled in an intensive kendo fighting program.
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post #41 of 56
1/11/07 at 4:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli
the best weapon for hand-to-zombie combat is a Katana blade. For this reason, I've enrolled in an intensive kendo fighting program.
Katana's are great if you know how to use them, but you'd have to have a battle ready one and not some piece of shit off QVC.

I'd go with a machete, it's sharp, cheap to buy and gets the job done.
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post #42 of 56
1/11/07 at 5:56pm
Many fanboys will unfortunately die when they try to use their wall hangers in combat.
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post #43 of 56
1/11/07 at 5:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vader
Many fanboys will unfortunately die when they try to use their wall hangers in combat.
And, thus, some small good will come of the Zombie Holocaust.
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post #44 of 56
1/11/07 at 7:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vader
I got all of you beat though. I had a conversation with a lady friend about surviving a zombie holocaust. after doing "it". How many of you can say you did that?! Huh! Huh!
;_;
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post #45 of 56
1/11/07 at 8:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
Our zombie overlords are dead, long live our zombie overlords.
Not to rehash an old sterotype but Richard Dickson has apparently taken the French way out.

BTW in terms of weapons, I believe in the shotgun. Now if ammo is running low then I could use an aluminum baseball bat but you would have to get in close.
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post #46 of 56
1/11/07 at 9:06pm
But if, when, zombies do invade I imagine you'll be able to find shotgun shells scattered generously around your city and various homes.

Me on the other hand, will be on the lookout for free turkey legs lying on the sidewalk.
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post #47 of 56
1/11/07 at 9:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams
Katana's are great if you know how to use them, but you'd have to have a battle ready one and not some piece of shit off QVC.

I'd go with a machete, it's sharp, cheap to buy and gets the job done.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV-kWH02t60
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post #48 of 56
1/11/07 at 10:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vader
But if, when, zombies do invade I imagine you'll be able to find shotgun shells scattered generously around your city and various homes.

Me on the other hand, will be on the lookout for free turkey legs lying on the sidewalk.

Oh yeah, check garbage cans and newspaper boxes along the street. Usually a punch will reveal an item below it. Or look out for the cylindrical piece of roast with the bone thru the middle. I hear they existed over in Metro City during the Haggard Administration.
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post #49 of 56
1/14/07 at 8:12pm
I'm sure there's a thread about this out there, but I just gotta say, I'm about 100 pages into "World War Z", and I'm lovin' it. Although every character kind of sounds the same (like, I guess, Max Brooks), what he writes, the scenes he chooses to focus on, are fascinating. Practical application of the info in the Zombie Survival Guide, to help w/ the coming crisis.
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post #50 of 56
1/22/07 at 3:44pm
Super helpful thread. Where will you be when the zombies come?
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