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Wearing a Condom

Poll Results: Do You Wear a Condom (during sex)?

 
  • 45% (31)
    Yes, every time
  • 25% (17)
    Yes, but only during one night stands or when she's fertile
  • 29% (20)
    No
68 Total Votes  
post #1 of 113
1/26/07 at 12:47pm
Thread Starter 
A month or two ago, I was in a group project for my speech class where we had to give a presentation about trends among teens. I'm not exactly sure about how we reached the topic, but the topic of using a condom during sex came up. My first response was that I wear a condom every time, regardless of how long I've known her or whether she is on the pill. I was expecting some support, but the 4 of my group members looked at me in a confused state and said "really? It's very rare that I wear a condom." From here, the discussion turned to why they stopped wearing a condom (or why their BF did) and how it never really bothered them. I asked a few more of my friends outside of the group and their response was more or less the same. Am I alone in wearing a condom? I know a lot of guys say they can't feel anything, but it's never really been an issue for me (and for the record, I have had sex without the condom, but that's only because it broke and I didn't realize it).
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post #2 of 113
1/26/07 at 12:49pm
For what reason do you continue to wear a condom if you are in a serious relationship and your girlfriend is on the pill? Is it just an extra birth control measure?
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post #3 of 113
1/26/07 at 12:53pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by stump
For what reason do you continue to wear a condom if you are in a serious relationship and your girlfriend is on the pill? Is it just an extra birth control measure?
Living in the South, I've seen far too many people 18 and under (or slightly older) that already have like 2-3 kids. I have no intention of becoming a parent until I'm out of college and have my career set up.

Also, maybe it's just me, but the sex lasts a lot longer with the condom on for me. I'm one of those people that get off by giving, so the condom helps the sex go on for quite a bit longer.
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post #4 of 113
1/26/07 at 12:53pm
"Precious bodily fluids."

"Loss of essence."

"I do deny them my essence."
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post #5 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:04pm
I can't say I've never gone without, but that is the exception. I, too, have no intention of having children anytime soon. Also, no one is so cute that I want to risk getting a disease. It amazes me how many people are blase about the risk of getting a STD, and trusting their partner. Not that there aren't trustworthy people out there, but the number of people who have unprotected sex with people who they really shouldn't be prepared to trust (haven't known them very long, suspicious behavior, etc) surprises me.
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post #6 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:08pm
Yeah, I realize that I'm taking risks. I trust my girlfriend though. We've known each other for a long time, and we're both responsible people, for the most part. I'll be honest and say that I have made mistakes in the past and messed around unprotected with people that I shouldn't have, and I paid for it. The consequences weren't irreversible - I had to go get tested and everything and I came out clean, I just had this weird thing that went away after a couple months - I don't feel like going into it in depth, it's embarassing. But yeah, sex is so fucking risky. That aspect of it is pretty sucky. I don't have too strong a sex drive so it's never been that much of an issue to me personally except for the time that I fucked up.
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post #7 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:28pm
Well, some couples have to use a condom if the female in the relationship cannot take the pill due to body issues. I'm married and still use the condom (even though it cuts off all feeling for me) since we're not ready for children at this moment. It's a necessary evil as far as I'm concerned. At least until they come out with the male version of the pill. Then I'm holding a massive rubber bonfire in my living room.
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post #8 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:28pm
1 AIDS scare.

1 pregnancy scare.

Both those were pretty much good enough to ensure that I'll be wearing a condom for the rest of my life, regardless of whether I'm having sex or not.
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post #9 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by donde
Well, some couples have to use a condom if the female in the relationship cannot take the pill due to body issues. I'm married and still use the condom (even though it cuts off all feeling for me) since we're not ready for children at this moment. It's a necessary evil as far as I'm concerned. At least until they come out with the male version of the pill. Then I'm holding a massive rubber bonfire in my living room.
Same here, the pill gives my wife massive migraine headaches.
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post #10 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
Both those were pretty much good enough to ensure that I'll be wearing a condom for the rest of my life, regardless of whether I'm having sex or not.
You wore a condom when you weren't having sex? When you peed, did you have water balloon fights?
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post #11 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:34pm
Same as Donde - I use a condom as my wife isn't ready for a kid yet (this is changing this year - wish us luck!).

I heard too many stories of people whose lives were ruined by not wearing a condom to ever take a risk, or let my GF at the time risk getting pregnant. Shit, I'd wear full body armor if it meant I'd get any noony-cookie, STD's be damned.
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post #12 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:43pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225
noony-cookie
I'm starting to notice the generation gap between me and a lot of other posters on the board.
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post #13 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:46pm
I'm looking at 40 this year, you young scalawag.
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post #14 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:48pm
Noony-cookie - are toddlers having sex now?
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post #15 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by donde
At least until they come out with the male version of the pill. Then I'm holding a massive rubber bonfire in my living room.

And when this day comes, make sure you have the windows open as you don't want to suffocate on the fumes.
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post #16 of 113
1/26/07 at 1:53pm
Thread Starter 
At least he won't have to worry about children getting hurt.
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post #17 of 113
1/26/07 at 2:16pm
I prefer condoms for emotional reasons. Things can get too instense psychologically without them between my lover and I. Sometimes when we touch the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide. I wanna hold her til I die. Not so with condoms.
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post #18 of 113
1/26/07 at 2:19pm
I still wear one even though my wife is on the pill because her family has a weird history. Her cousin and her aunt have each had two kids while on the pill, and her aunt's second came after her husband used a condom as well. I feel I need as much protection as I can get.
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post #19 of 113
1/26/07 at 2:29pm
I use a condom everytime. I don't want no kids and I don't want no potential STD's.
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post #20 of 113
1/26/07 at 3:01pm
I'm fixed, have two kids with one on the way, and have been married for twelve years. Thankfully condoms are a thing of the past.

Also, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Moltisanti again".
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post #21 of 113
1/26/07 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stump
Noony-cookie - are toddlers having sex now?
Nah, I heard Bill Hicks use it in a routine. Made me laugh.
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post #22 of 113
1/26/07 at 6:08pm
I heard they actually have developed a male version of the birth control pill. I just don't recall if it's a daily thing, or situational, like you take it a couple of hours before the sex. I'm fascinated by the concept of not having to get a vasectomy, in that case.
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post #23 of 113
1/26/07 at 8:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyShmun
I heard they actually have developed a male version of the birth control pill. I just don't recall if it's a daily thing, or situational, like you take it a couple of hours before the sex. I'm fascinated by the concept of not having to get a vasectomy, in that case.
the pill can't happen soon enough. There gonna have to drag me kicking and screaming to get a vesectomy, she's strong enough to do it too.
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post #24 of 113
1/26/07 at 8:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyShmun
I heard they actually have developed a male version of the birth control pill. I just don't recall if it's a daily thing, or situational, like you take it a couple of hours before the sex. I'm fascinated by the concept of not having to get a vasectomy, in that case.

It's not out yet. Certain medications have a "side effect" that they prevent ejaculation (at least of sperm, not sure if ejaculatory secretions from other glands are inhibited as well) for a few hours after being taken. The idea is to hone a medication into having this effect reliably so that it would offer men the ability to reduce their risk of inseminating a woman without using a condom. Presumably it would be important that the man would still achieve an orgasm just without the sperm aspect. (There are also medications that prevent successful orgasm.)

Useful for committed couples who want to reduce pregnancy risk. Not helpful at all on preventing disease transmission.
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post #25 of 113
1/26/07 at 9:00pm
I actually don't wear a condom most of the time. If I'm having sex with her I probably know the girl very well, and knowing me I wouldn't be having sex with her if she wasnt clean and healthy and kept clean and healthy partners.

So there's a shot in a thousand that I'll get a minor VD, and that's a price I'll gladly pay to not have to wear a rubber.


PS - When it comes to babies, my partners have just been followers of the good pill
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post #26 of 113
1/27/07 at 12:35am
I know somebody who got pregnant while on the pill. I always wear a condom. What's amazing is the percentage of people who have had accidental or at least terribly timed pregnancies because they didn't wear a condom or even the pill and then they act like it was a surprise.
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post #27 of 113
1/27/07 at 12:57am
I know someone who got pregnant after having her tubes tied. Fuck that noise. There have been times in the past I haven't used them, but now I always do. There's always that chance(even with the condom), no matter how slim. I sure as hell don't want a kid right now. Or any other STD*.



*No offense to you proud parents out there. Hehe.
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post #28 of 113
1/27/07 at 2:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus
I actually don't wear a condom most of the time. If I'm having sex with her I probably know the girl very well, and knowing me I wouldn't be having sex with her if she wasnt clean and healthy and kept clean and healthy partners.
It amazes me how people wouldn't buy a dog without a health certificate, and yet they'll be intimate and risk their own health with someone without actually knowing (asking, or ideally even seeing paperwork) that the person is truly STD negative. Not suggesting that Nexus or anyone else does so, just that "clean and healthy" is something that can only be proven by actual diagnostic tests not appearance and personality.
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post #29 of 113
1/27/07 at 3:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
I prefer condoms for emotional reasons. Things can get too instense psychologically without them between my lover and I. Sometimes when we touch the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide. I wanna hold her til I die. Not so with condoms.
Ditto for the rubber. Although, at times I'd like to break my woman and drive her to her knees and then other times I'd like to break through and hold her endlessly.

Whaddda gonna do?
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post #30 of 113
1/27/07 at 4:51am
I'm never without a rubber, I've never been lax in that, but I love giving oral sex more than having sex so I've often put my mouth all over and in places on people that I don't know very well (or at all) and I'm often tapped by a minor rush of panic afterwards (and a heavily coated tongue to boot).
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post #31 of 113
1/27/07 at 5:32am
Is a condom even 100% for birth control though? It seems like you're taking a chance no matter what.
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post #32 of 113
1/27/07 at 7:05am
Condoms are said to be 98-99% effective. The 1-2% might be the chance of breakage.

Being on The Pill and using condoms at the same time, it'd take a miracle for a pregnancy to happen.
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post #33 of 113
1/27/07 at 11:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belethedheliel
It amazes me how people wouldn't buy a dog without a health certificate, and yet they'll be intimate and risk their own health with someone without actually knowing (asking, or ideally even seeing paperwork) that the person is truly STD negative. Not suggesting that Nexus or anyone else does so, just that "clean and healthy" is something that can only be proven by actual diagnostic tests not appearance and personality.
I know what you're saying but I guess I just disagree. When you get to the point where you are having sex with someone, you most definetely already know what their lifestyle is like and probably what their sex life is like too.

I'm not talking about one night stands, I've never had one of those. I'm too old-fashioned for my age.
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post #34 of 113
1/27/07 at 1:16pm
I don't use a condom, but I'm married, and we were both virgins before marriage. There's no diseases and we use other forms of birth control, so I don't see any point in it. Of course, there's no 100% form of birth control, so if she gets pregnant, we just figure it's fate, and a condom wouldn't have stopped it anyway.
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post #35 of 113
1/27/07 at 1:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wydren
so if she gets pregnant, we just figure it's fate
Yes, but what if destiny was never meant to be?


Also, marrying your first partner is quite impressive.
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post #36 of 113
1/27/07 at 1:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus
I know what you're saying but I guess I just disagree. When you get to the point where you are having sex with someone, you most definetely already know what their lifestyle is like and probably what their sex life is like too.

I'm not talking about one night stands, I've never had one of those. I'm too old-fashioned for my age.

I suppose that is true, especially if you have enough emotional intimacy with the person to know their sexual past. I'm just saying that even a nice girl can get cheated on and have her partner give her a disease, even if she doesn't sleep around. A few married friends of mine have gone through this - found out he was cheating when he gave them a disease. Everyone knows they got divorced and that he cheated, but not everyone knows that she got an STD. Not exactly the sort of information you tell all your friends.

Clearly, the girls who got something curable aren't anything to worry about later, but the ones who get herpes... Hopefully they'd tell you and make you use protection.

ETA: I shall restate my prior opinion: If you're intimate enough to have sex you're intimate enough to ask and answer for diagnostic test status. Regardless of the use of condoms, etc, we should all be tested between partners.
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post #37 of 113
1/27/07 at 3:06pm
I just don't trust women. If you're only relying on the pill, it's completely in her hands. If she all of a sudden wants a kid, she can stop taking them and then say Oops, accident!. This way it's all your decision.

Once I had a girl that freaked out over it. "What? You do NOT want to have kids with me? I don't do this for plain joy, what do you think??".

I ran with my pants in my hands.
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post #38 of 113
1/27/07 at 3:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers
Once I had a girl that freaked out over it. "What? You do NOT want to have kids with me? I don't do this for plain joy, what do you think??".
Yikes! Scary! I mean, procreation is the point of the endeavor so anyone who is surprised when procreation occurs is an idiot, IMHO, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't also be fun. Especially if you're not in a marriage (or marriage-equivalent) situation suitable for the raising of children.
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post #39 of 113
1/27/07 at 4:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers
"What? You do NOT want to have kids with me? I don't do this for plain joy, what do you think??"
Man, what a nightmare. Geezus.
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post #40 of 113
1/27/07 at 4:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus
Also, marrying your first partner is quite impressive.
Thanks, I like to think I'm quite impressive. It's actually not that hard, since we were both the type to not have sex until we were married (Not uber religious, just personal choice). It's just easier, and I can have sex and not worry about diseases. What's more impressive is that we managed to hang on to it until we were married, since I'm fairly attractive and she's an actual former model.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers
Once I had a girl that freaked out over it. "What? You do NOT want to have kids with me? I don't do this for plain joy, what do you think??".
EGAD! Although I hope that's not a comment on your, ahem, abilities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers
I ran with my pants in my hands.
Good choice.
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post #41 of 113
1/27/07 at 5:09pm
the decision to wait for marriage is always an amazing one to me. you just want to have sex with one person in your entire life? god damn, that's hard to wrap my head around.

a condom is like 97% effective, the pill is like 99.something% effective and the shot is even better than that. so i'll take my chances with those. and as to why you would want to dull the sensation to 'make it last longer', well chalk that up as yet another thing i'll never understand. sex is about two people, not one. so if you can't hang on for more than 10 minutes get some practice in ffs. it's pretty easy.

of course the STD stuff is serious business, i've never dealt with that and i hope i never have to. so for one-night stands of course i use a condom.
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post #42 of 113
1/27/07 at 5:16pm
Let's face it...a KID is the ultimate STD, and will in-the-end kill you...

But my kid is cuter than yours!!
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post #43 of 113
1/27/07 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCynic
the decision to wait for marriage is always an amazing one to me. you just want to have sex with one person in your entire life? god damn, that's hard to wrap my head around.
You're guaranteed to have good sex. Even if it's bad, you don't know the difference!

Seriously though, no diseases, ever. Plus, I never had to worry about some girlfriend shackling me down with a kid. Like Jeff Goldblum said, "Life finds a way". I've got a buddy who broke up with this one girl he didn't really dig anymore. She came back to him almost a month later for a "booty call". Now they're living together with their kid because he wants to "do the right thing" (I'm not so sure that's the right thing, but that's another conversation). I've never had to worry about that, ever. If it happens now, at least I'm with a person I know I want to be with for the rest of my life.
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post #44 of 113
1/27/07 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCynic
and as to why you would want to dull the sensation to 'make it last longer', well chalk that up as yet another thing i'll never understand. sex is about two people, not one. so if you can't hang on for more than 10 minutes get some practice in ffs. it's pretty easy.
It's because it's about two people and not one that some people use a condom to last longer.

I kinda disagree with the method also, if you doubt your abilities with the ol' tool then just put in more cunnilingus time.
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post #45 of 113
1/27/07 at 6:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wydren
EGAD! Although I hope that's not a comment on your, ahem, abilities.
Question my love making skills? Well, I ain't no fabfunk in terms of field experience but the ladies have been satisfied so far. Or so I was told.
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post #46 of 113
1/27/07 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny
Same here, the pill gives my wife massive migraine headaches.
We're in the same boat. My wife tried a few different kinds of hormonal birth control, and they all messed her up in some way or another, so we use condoms. We also use charting, though, so that gives us about twelve days of condom-free sex a month.

Incidentally, we both used to scoff at that method, but she did a ton of reading on the subject (mostly a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which is probably just as handy for couples trying to have kids as those trying not to), and, if you (well, she, particularly) really reads up on how this is done properly and is really vigilant about keeping track of her cycle, it's proven to be quite effective. As with any form of birth control, it just requires a certain degree of "perfect usage" (incidentally, those 98 percent figures for condom effectiveness are also based on perfect usage, meaning that for every 100 people that use condoms in the exact manner in which they're supposed to be used, two will get pregnant, statistically speaking).
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post #47 of 113
1/27/07 at 7:02pm
Got to. I gamble a lot, or at least enough to recognize that it's not worth the risk. I look at unprotected sex like a bet where I'm 90% likely to win $100, but that one time in ten I lose, it costs ten grand.
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post #48 of 113
1/27/07 at 7:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz
I look at unprotected sex like a bet where I'm 90% likely to win $100, but that one time in ten I lose, it costs ten grand.
Good analogy.
There's also the slim chance someone will break your kneecaps with a bat.
(AND take your ten grand)
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post #49 of 113
1/27/07 at 8:22pm
If it comes down to a busted kneecap vs. spending the next 20 years taking care of a little version of me...well, you see where I'm going with this.
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post #50 of 113
1/27/07 at 9:28pm
A few questions:

Jacknife, have you caught any std's yet from your extensive muff diving?

Cynic, ffs?

DaveB, when exactly does the 12 day period fall, how long have you been doing this, how confident are you in it?
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