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Maxim's Worst Comedians of ALL-TIME List

post #1 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:50am
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12. Carlos Mencia

11. Christopher Titus

10. Judy Tenuta

9. Kathy Griffin

8. Gallagher

7. Paula Poundstone

6. Sandra Bernhard

5. Louie Anderson

4. Yakov Smirnoff

3. Whoopi Goldberg

2. Margaret Cho

1. Sinbad
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post #2 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:01am
the worst comedians of all time are people that no one's ever heard of. what a stupid list.
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post #3 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:10am
Or you don't know shit about stand up.
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post #4 of 130
2/15/07 at 9:41am
No matter how obscure the comedian, he couldn't be worse than Mencia. I wish they'd had the balls to put Dane Cook on that list.
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post #5 of 130
2/15/07 at 10:25am
Gallagher was actually funny before the watermelon smashing took over his act.
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post #6 of 130
2/15/07 at 10:35am
I would replace Sinbad and Cho with Robert Wuhl and Joe Piscopo. Otherwise, pretty accurate.
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post #7 of 130
2/15/07 at 11:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCynic
the worst comedians of all time are people that no one's ever heard of. what a stupid list.
Congratulations. This might be the stupidest fucking thing ever written.
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post #8 of 130
2/15/07 at 11:22am
I was so worried that Geechy Guy would be on this list. Now I can go about my day in peace.
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post #9 of 130
2/15/07 at 11:48am
Cho is funny, I would take her off the list.

I would add David Steinberg and Steinbrenner to the list. Elaine Boozer's funny stops with her name. Robert Kline was never funny. Rosie O'Donnell deserves a spot. Paul Rodriguez is garbage.

Pre-Bush years I would never think of mentioning Dennis Miller amongst these hacks, but post Bush he's as hacky and annoying as all of the above, only worse, because he was once a genius.

Whoever the guy was that just had his horrible talk show canceled, Greg...?

I can't believe Jeff Foxworthy and the rest of his redneck, shit-for-brains brigade didn't make it.

Richard fucking Lewis! Quite possibly, the worst--ever.
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post #10 of 130
2/15/07 at 11:51am
Richard Lewis is greatness.

I actually remember liking the only Titus stand up that I saw. It's entirely possible that's a problem with me, but then again, this is a Maxim list.
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post #11 of 130
2/15/07 at 12:00pm
Lewis is an aquired taste I guess. Always annoyed the hell out of me.
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post #12 of 130
2/15/07 at 12:29pm
Bob Saget
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post #13 of 130
2/15/07 at 12:38pm
Sinbad just seems like such an easy target, especially for the top spot. He's no great shakes but he's had more longevity than any other orange comedians.
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post #14 of 130
2/15/07 at 12:41pm
Mencia deserves worse. Than death, that is. And they can't very well put Dane Cook on the list; his fanbase and Maxim's readership have to be pretty closely entwined.

Gallagher, while not a genius, is certainly better than at least 12 others.
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post #15 of 130
2/15/07 at 12:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
I would replace Sinbad and Cho with Robert Wuhl and Joe Piscopo.
Agreed. I would have also included Carrot Top and Howie Mandel. Oh, and the King of Unfunny: Jay Leno.
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post #16 of 130
2/15/07 at 12:59pm
Any "Worst Comedians" list without Kevin Meaney is incomplete.
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post #17 of 130
2/15/07 at 1:00pm
Paula Poundstone is actually very funny. No way should she be on this list.

And Mencia should be at the top.
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post #18 of 130
2/15/07 at 1:32pm
Mencia used to be so much funnier until he became the mouthpiece for the "Lighten Up, America!" campaign.
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post #19 of 130
2/15/07 at 2:19pm
take Cho out of the list, put in Gilbert Gotfried.
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post #20 of 130
2/15/07 at 2:22pm
No Larry the Cable Guy? No Ralphie fucking May, the only 'comedian' fucking worse than Larry the Cable Guy?

Worthless.
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post #21 of 130
2/15/07 at 2:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathan Banks is my hero
Any "Worst Comedians" list without Kevin Meaney is incomplete.
Ain't that the truth. Listening to Meaney's shows is just painful. Painful. And I still want to know when Louie Anderson sold his soul to Cthulu. That can be the only explanation for his time in Hollywood. He is probably the third least funny man in the world.

JS
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post #22 of 130
2/15/07 at 3:23pm
Ditto the hate for Jay Leno. Always loved those story of Johnny Carson hating his guts.
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post #23 of 130
2/15/07 at 3:24pm
Jackie Mason. Awful. Mumbling is not funny nor was "Caddyshack II."
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post #24 of 130
2/15/07 at 3:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple_72
take Cho out of the list, put in Gilbert Gotfried.
Crazy talk!
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post #25 of 130
2/15/07 at 3:43pm
Speaking of Mencia, there's a really interesting article in Radar Online about him stealing bits. I knew about Hicks-Leary and CK-Cook, and some about Jay Mohr from Joe Rogan (who bitches about this on Stern's show), but I didn't know about Mencia or Robin Williams.
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post #26 of 130
2/15/07 at 3:47pm
Cho should outrank Sinbard just because of her extreme bitterness compounded with being unfunny. Sort of how I feel about Al Franken. But Mencia definately belongs there.

And I kind of wonder why Carrot Top isn't on that list but perhaps he's gotten so buff he threaten the Maxim office with a beatdown of some kind.
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post #27 of 130
2/15/07 at 3:49pm
Gottfried's impression of the aged Groucho Marx keeps him far away from this list.
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post #28 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:01pm
Anyone who listens to Howard Stern can attest to the greatness of Gottfried.
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post #29 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:18pm
i agree with most of the list, however i posit that the whole thing should be stricken in exchange for the entire lineup of BET's COMICVIEW.
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post #30 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:25pm
I'll certainly back up Cho being removed from the list, I like her a lot, enough where I at least attempted to watch a few episodes of All-American Girl and I almost never watch sitcoms.

Greg Behrendt needs to be on this list like Michael J. Fox needs fresh fetuses.
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post #31 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:28pm
I'm seeing a lot of fuckwittery in this thread. I'm pretty some of you haven't seen what made a lot of these comedians famous. I think most of you just go by the 1-800 commercials or shitty sitcoms that these people sign on for as a benchmark for their talent.

The Cho hate is sexist. Plain and simple. Doesn't surprise me from Maxim.

Some of you have mentioned Richard Lewis, Carrot Top, Howie Mandel, Gilbert Godfried, and Bob Sagat???? Guys, get past commercials, Full House and Deal or No Deal. Go check out some of the early material... Especially Gottfried and Lewis. A lot of these guys were big in the 80s in the comic scene and have some pretty good material.
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post #32 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boomstick
Some of you have mentioned Richard Lewis, Carrot Top, Howie Mandel, Gilbert Godfried, and Bob Sagat???? Guys, get past commercials, Full House and Deal or No Deal. Go check out some of the early material... Especially Gottfried and Lewis. A lot of these guys were big in the 80s in the comic scene and have some pretty good material.
Saget's hilarious.
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post #33 of 130
2/15/07 at 4:36pm
Another thing, these comedians need to also be put into the context of the time they were famous. There's an connection to the appeal and the time they got big. Just because a particular Marx Bros. joke isn't funny to us in a "har-har" way anymore doesn't make it unfunny or uncreative or genius when put back into it's context.

I'm also not saying most of these are great... None of them are truly brilliant, but not as bad as they are being made out to be... Surely, Sinbad totally sucks. Gallagher probably doesn't belong on here, but his brother certainly does.

I echo the Dane Cook hate... Right now it'd probably make a lot of sense to put Michael Richards on the list if we're just talking Stand-Up... I'll have to think of some more.
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post #34 of 130
2/15/07 at 5:10pm
Bad example, with the Marx Brothers, cuz they're just as funny today as they were 200 years ago, when they first hit the movies (well, back then they were called the "black n' whiteys").

And Paula Poundstone is extremely funny, at least in improv. I haven't seen a ton of her stand-up, but it wasn't too bad. But she's definitely a very unattractive woman, which would probably be enough to turn off the editors of a porn-lite magazine.
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post #35 of 130
2/15/07 at 5:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
And Paula Poundstone is extremely funny, at least in improv. I haven't seen a ton of her stand-up, but it wasn't too bad. But she's definitely a very unattractive woman, which would probably be enough to turn off the editors of a porn-lite magazine.
Agreed. I saw Poundstone live years ago, and she was quite funny.

I'm sure sexism is playing into it (and, no, it probably doesn't help with Maxim that none of these particular women comedians are particularly physically attractive). In fact, it's telling that women take up 1/2 of the top 12, yet I'm pretty sure that women comprise a much smaller percentage of the comedy scene overall nowadays and a much, much smaller one in the past.

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely can't stand Kathy Griffin, don't really like Sandra Bernhard, and I'm not as taken with Margaret Cho as some, but do you mean to tell me that in the history of comedy, which has been overwhelmingly male-dominated, half of the worst comics are women? Has Judy Tenuta and her weird little accordion routine truly committed more crimes against comedy than Carrot-Top?
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post #36 of 130
2/15/07 at 5:39pm
Staggeringly enough, I've seen 2 of the Top 10 live and in color--Gallagher and Louie Anderson. Gallagher was at the urging of a girl I was dating, and it was fun for what it was. We were in the first row behind the "covered" rows. I saw Louie in Vegas with some friends, before the whole Family Feud/paying for gay sex thing happened. It was right after his book about his father came out, and we were all supposed to get a copy of the book for free, but it never happened. And even though he's not on the list, I have seen Carrot Top live as well, at my college.

I did see Yakov Smirnoff recently...on a billboard in Branson, MO for his comedy club. "Explosive Comedy!" it said. Sure.

And some of you guys are killing me with who you said should be on this list...I actually even like some of Jackie Mason's stuff. If you've heard him from his early days, he really is pretty funny. Sort of a Don Rickles from the Jewish perspective. And I echo the Gottfried on Stern sentiment. You haven't lived until you've heard Dracula Gottfried interviewing people on the street.
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post #37 of 130
2/15/07 at 5:44pm
Titus is funny. Just to know that everything he talks about in his act is real. When it comes to Cho I like her older stuff.
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post #38 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boomstick
I echo the Dane Cook hate...
I understand that the guy's divisive, but putting him in a worst comedians of all-time list right alongside Gallagher or Kathy Griffin is retarded. Jackie Mason's also had some really good material in the past. Get some perspective people.
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post #39 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martianman
And I echo the Gottfried on Stern sentiment. You haven't lived until you've heard Dracula Gottfried interviewing people on the street.
Dice Gottfried is also comedy platinum.
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post #40 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martianman
Sort of a Don Rickles from the Jewish perspective.
Don Rickles is a Don Rickles from the Jewish perspective. But one listen to a recording of "The World According to Me" is proof enough that Mason doesn't belong on this list. If the only things you know him from are Caddyshack 2 and Simpsons guest appearances, you really haven't heard him do comedy.
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post #41 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:40pm
Cho shouldn't be on that list. She is a funny woman, her only problem is that she goes for applause too much.
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post #42 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
I understand that the guy's divisive, but putting him in a worst comedians of all-time list right alongside Gallagher or Kathy Griffin is retarded.
It's pure perspective.

A Mortal Kombat joke thrown into predictable unfunniness doesn't make funniness. I'll watch Gallagher over Cook any day of the week, and I'm not a big Gallagher fan by any stretch.

I laugh at my own jokes!! Tourgasm indeed!
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post #43 of 130
2/15/07 at 6:43pm
I'm seriously waiting for someone to bitch that Bill Cosby isn't on the list because that Ghost Dad movie sucked BIGTIME!
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post #44 of 130
2/16/07 at 4:20am
Women generally do bad stand-up. It's just not their strong suit.

"I have a vagina! WOOT WOOT! HUMMINA HUMMINA!"

(pauses while crickets chirp)

"Yeast infections! Who's with me? ZOING ZOING! ZOWIE!"
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post #45 of 130
2/16/07 at 4:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul McCartney
Women generally do bad stand-up. It's just not their strong suit.

"I have a vagina! WOOT WOOT! HUMMINA HUMMINA!"

(pauses while crickets chirp)

"Yeast infections! Who's with me? ZOING ZOING! ZOWIE!"
Even my wife thinks that women stand-up comedians aren't as funny on average (could be due to the already small percentage) as men are. Her gripe is that many women comedians feel the need to go too over-the-top (Molly Shannon, etc.) or too dirty for shock value (a woman said that? oooh...). Comedy isn't always about extremes. Great comedy can be observational, intelligent, ironic, satirical, and even subtle. And again, this may be based on the small exposure we've had to comediennes in this patriarchal, male-dominated society where even most professional chefs/cooks are men.

Just an observation. I'm not a masogynist, honestly. We both have liked Lynne Koplitz' material (and not just because she's cute).

Incidentally, Saget & Gottfried's bits on Aristocrats were some of the funniest.
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post #46 of 130
2/16/07 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
Sinbard
Caught him at the Texas Renaissance Festival in Plantersville, Texas last year. Hilarious.
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post #47 of 130
2/16/07 at 4:46pm
He didn't beat out Dennis Miller on "Star Search" because of his looks.

I may not think he's a riot but I can't picture anyone really hating Sinbad. He's harmless. I know this has nothing to do with his stand-up but when I think of Sinbad the first thing to pop in my head is him telling Aquaman to "Eat some lightning, chump!." That's probably why I can't pile on the man.
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post #48 of 130
2/16/07 at 5:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
I'm not a masogynist, honestly.
I am a masogynist. I love giving back rubs to stupid bitches.
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post #49 of 130
2/16/07 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
He didn't beat out Dennis Miller on "Star Search" because of his looks.

I may not think he's a riot but I can't picture anyone really hating Sinbad. He's harmless. I know this has nothing to do with his stand-up but when I think of Sinbad the first thing to pop in my head is him telling Aquaman to "Eat some lightning, chump!." That's probably why I can't pile on the man.
Methinks you need to re-read his post, knave.
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post #50 of 130
2/16/07 at 5:27pm
Everyone has probably already seen it, but here is a great bit of Joe Rogan calling out Carlos Mencia for stealing other people's material on stage.
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