I have a Problem

Have the talk - ask if you're a couple or not. If she says no, sorry dude.

If she says yes, ask here what her problem is with PDAs (public displays of affection, not personal data assistants).

Bottom line is COMMUNICATE - either she doesn't like you and is either too nice to blow you off or is stringing you along - or she DOES like you and has issues with showing affection.

And if she DOES like you but has issues with showing affection, then you have to decide if you want to deal with that.

Failing that, there are prostitutes.

Did she get you anything? Because if not there's always her sister. Or the fat best friend.

No girl is worth that crap, man.

Your only real problem is you are being a wus.

All of these responses are applicable. Personally I recommend making the most major move you can think of with no hesitation when not in public and see where that takes you. If she has a problem with it then either kick her out of your place or immediately leave hers. She might have second thoughts and call you shortly, if she doesn't she was never going to fuck you anyway.

So just ask her what the hell's going on. Don't waste your time.

This is so fucking simple.

Talk.

Hash out what the hell is going on and then decide what is best.

More than likely, it's to tell her to fuck off.

I think the answer, ultimately, is a blend between my belief that you are being a wus and Samurai Mike's Prostitute option.
Grow some stones and pay for it like the rest of us do.

Being a student, you're probably to poor to hire a hooker, so just spell-check essays for blowjobs. Simple.

I was in the same boat as you back in college. I was in love, didn't work out, she was distant, etc.

Best advice was mentioned before -Talk to her. Hash the whole thing out. If the two of you click and she becomes more affectionate - great! More power to you. If not, DON'T FREAK OUT ABOUT IT! Play it cool, be a man (go into James Bond mode), and stay friendly with her. She might not be into a realtionship, but she might have someone for you to hook up with down the line. Otherwise, plenty of co-eds out there to check out.

Shit, Spring Break's coming up, go take a trip to one of the big college get-togethers and hook-up with some girls from across the country, or from around the world.

Learn to use the shift key. Girls dig proper capitalization. Turns them on. And if you know how to properly use a semi-colon, they let you put it in their colon.

We have a winner! Works every time.

The other guys in the thread are right, dude. You're being a complete wuss, and women react terribly to that sort of thing. If you're gonna be her best buddy and a shoulder for her to cry on, you might as well say goodbye to any chance of a relationship. Get angry. Make it clear to her that she's jerking you around and that you don't have time for that shit. And she has to believe it - that you're gonna go away if she doesn't take you more seriously. Not calling her for one week isn't exactly a great show of will. I realise that it's hard to deliberately treat someone that you care about like shit, but that's what she's doing to you.

Failing that, just move on.

A perfect mix of username and reply.

So, what's he done? Place your bets, gentlemen!

5 bucks says she kneed him in the nuts.

I'll put $5 on 'now allowed to hold her hand once and awhile'

$10 on "I don't want to ruin the friendship"

"We only want what we can't have."

You'll find that written in fine print on most brands of anti-depressant. It's usually right under the part that says don't take with alcohol.

I got an Australian $20 right here that says he will go with rape.

I definitely hope you talk this shit out with her. But if it doesn't go your way, what's wrong with being friends? There are worse things than somebody wanting to hang out with someone they don't wanna fuck.

That said, don't be the best friend. There's being open to a mature friendship with a girl, and then there's being an emotional doormat. If you ever feel like she's using you, you need to step back. And if you feel like you just can't get over her romantically, you need to step back too. However, if you can move on and still have a great time with her when you're not with a chick you actually like and get to fuck, then you've at least got something. Besides, the longer you're friends, the more likely one night when both of you are drunk you'll get a little of the spontaneous sex... which is nice.

Who said you can't find clear, concise, no nonsense advice in the sex forums?
Not me!

There's a huge difference between "the best friend" and being really close to somebody. The best friend implies that you're getting as close as you possibly can to the girl thinking it's just one step away from taking it to a romantic level, when in reality you're just going to end up being her emotional lap dog. Obviously a guy and a girl can be best friends, but that's something that evolves over time. In a situation like this, you cannot make yourself completely emotionally available to someone in the hopes of getting something else.

I didn't know that being a female's best friend automatically meant that you were hoping for a romantic relationship at some point.

Hmm...

I'm not trying to be rude, but did you read every other sentence of my post or something?

It's the only way to avoid the glaring contradictions.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don't know that there is a very common relationship dynamic the stems from the above described situation (or the former couple who are now trying to be friends scenario) wherein the guy thinks that being there for a girl's every emotional need is just a romance which someday could include the sex if he's faithful enough, but actually is the aforemention doormat/lap dog thing where the girl is getting far more than she is giving. It is, I thought pretty commonly, known as being "the best friend." It is different than actually being somebody's best friend, as I thought made perfectly clear once already. But maybe you're not familiar with the phrase in that context. Or maybe you just don't read too well.

Or maybe attempting to differentiate between the two situations by a clever use of quotation marks is a load of horse-shit.

This is such an idiotic tangent. If the differentiation was not made clear by the quotation marks, I thought I more than remedied that by explaining the difference... twice. I don't know how making the assumption people would know what I meant is a load of horse shit. That doesn't even make sense, unless you're trying to imply I was changing what I meant from my original post... which is patently ridiculous considering otherwise there have been no need to use the quotation marks in the first place. I'm pretty sure there are at least some people who are familiar with the concept enough to identify it with that simple phrase.

If you require further clarification, I'll send you a PM.

I suppose there's a certain amount of irony to be noted when the members of a movie site's forum begin to apply standard b-movie template character descriptions to the real world.

That said, I disagree with your supposition that by attempting to be a female's best friend, a male is attempting to set up a romance in the future. I also disagree with your method of clarification between that situation and an honest best friend situation.

In all honesty, it was your diction that irked me. Yes, there was snark involved.

However, I'm not the one that impeached anyone's personal mental faculties. That occured when you decided to take a jab at me with speculations regarding my cultural and academic literacy. I simply replied in kind, albeit in a noticeably more crude fashion.

At this point, we're 4 to 3 in your favor for snarky low-blows.

I guess that means that you're winning.

Obviously this is not a PM, but I wanted to acknowledge here I realize I didn't use the quotation marks until my second post, which was my mistake and possibly caused you to think I was trying to change what I inititally said. So, sorry for that confusion. However, I did say that a girl and a guy can be best friends towards the end of my first post. There I was indicating a difference from the initial usage of the phrase- even if it wasn't clear to everyone.

I will add at no point did I say all guys attempting to have a female best friend were looking for romance. Also I am unclear how my method of clarification could be disagreed with. I'm describing a particular relationship dynamic. Is that dynamic what you dispute? Or the fact that I said it was commonplace?

Somebody help me out here and say they know exactly what "the best friend" is, in this context.

Neither did I. But that doesn't mean that it wasn't a view that could be inferred from my response.

Before we descended into the pit of snarkdom, yes...I was disagreeing with your statement regarding "The Best Friend" as you put it. I do think that the theory on male-female platonic relationships you are referencing is a load of horse-shit; further, I am of the opinion that anyone attempting to push that theory is simply making excuses to justify hormone-fueled mistakes from their past.

I do not disagree with your statement that knowledge of this assumption regarding male-female platonic relationships is common-place. Recent films have provided our society with plenty of textbook examples. Films that have been championed for their contribution to the art of film-making.

Films like Not Another Teen Movie.

That said, men and women can be friends. They actually did a survey that showed that adults have opposite-gender friends in whom, although they think others would be interested, they themselves are not actually interested (sexually).

Certainly, some people are willing to be an "emotional doormat" or otherwise have 'any relationship they can' in hopes of it eventually becoming the kind of relationship they want. Which doesn't work.

Certainly, some people remain friends with a person (often an ex-) at least partially out of the idea that this will leave the door open to future booty calls.

However, some of us are able to realize these things are usually hopeless and often sad, and if we're in an unrequited situation we suck it up, take the pain, and move on.

Well, staying friendly with a girl who wound up having no interest in me sort of worked, as I did hook up with one or two of her friends for awhile thanks to her. 'Course this was back in college - I was just speaking from my own experience. If anything, scoring with her friends might make her reconsider, or regret she let him go. I've seen it happen.

Yeah, that's a good option that hasn't been mentioned yet, casually fuck her friend(s). There's a decent chance she'll get jealous. But whatever you do don't do the lap dog thing, whipping out your dick in her apartment and saying "what do you think" is a better way to go than that.

Here's a true story...

Long time ago, I had gone out with this one girl (a hot-body of a redhead) for a couple of months (she's the sister of a girl I used to work with). I thought everything was going great, until she suddenly breaks off all contact with me. No phone calls, letters, etc. Nothing. Her sister doesn't know a thing, and doesn't want to be involved, so I let it go.

I see my ex-girlfriend a couple of years later (I got into bowling, her and her sister joined the same league). She wants to go out with me, and explain what happened. I say "sure" and we set a date for that weekend. Weekend comes, she breaks the date. Following week, she apologizes, and wants to set up another date. I said, "Nah. I'm not interested", which floors her. Rest of the time I'm bowling, she would try to talk to me alone, and I blow her off - went on like that for an entire summer.

A couple of years after that, I met my fiance (now wife), and switch jobs. We go to a K-Mart near my girl's house, and I run ito my ex-girlfriend's sister. We make some small talk, she tells me she and my ex are moving to Florida, etc. Then I see my ex-girlfriend - she hit the wall, HARD. Her looks were gone, she got real hippy and thick, red hair's a frizzed mess, etc. I start talking to her, being polite, when my fiance walks up. I make with the introductions, and my fiance extends her hand and says "Hi". Both my ex and her sister lock eyes on the fiance's engagement ring, and I see tears welling up in my ex's eyes. Her sister makes a quick excuse, and both leave.

My girl saw my ex scamper off, and asked if she did anything wrong, I say "Nope, in fact I just fell in love with you all over again." We had a FANTASTIC night after that.

Point of the story is, plenty of fish out there, don't get too hung up over this girl, and the girl you're supposed to be with is out there waiting for you.

That's a great story, except that there's no payoff... you can't lead us to fake water like that, man... why did she blow you off like that, what was her motive? Inquiring minds must know!

What, at K-Mart?

Sorry, folks! I found out later that one of the reasons my ex blew me off was that she was trying to get her brother out of Rahway State Prison. She wound up fucking things up royally, and caught some serious shit because of it. Had she let me know, I would have put in touch with a friend of mine who was an attorney.

I never knew if there were any other reasons for her dumping me (probably didn't slap her around or treat her like shit, I guess). Shit, I didn't even know I was dumped, but everyone else seemed to. I didn't mind being dumped, but let me be amongst the first 100 or so people to fond out, OK? No letter, no phone call, no smoke signal, no signs from the gods. Nothing. A pity, because back then she was quite a looker - wasn't in a serious relationship for a long time after that.

She broke up with me right before my birthday. Most girlfriends I had always dumped me before my birthday. My wife, bless her, spoiled the shit out of me on my birthday, and we were only dating for about 2 months.

Did we have a fantastic night at K-Mart? Well, I did make out with her in a Toys R Us once (she's a geek, I'm a geek, etc.). No, she lived nearby, and I spent the afternoon and evening knockin' boots, or whatever you slick youngsters do nowadays.

It's only relevant if you're willing to sleep with anon.

I've been told I have pretty eyes.

Whore.

Show up on a date with no pants.

Only if someone pays him to make love to them with his eyes...

Steamy

ETA:
Especially if Matt is like Moltisanti:

No way. My tongue is fucking awesome.

I've been told I'm an excellent kisser and give good hugs.

And I'm not afraid to cry.

Fag.

Says the guy bragging about his "fucking awesome" tongue.

C'mon, don't tell me you haven't squirted a few manly tears. You must've seen "Brian's Song", right? "Old Yeller"? Did you not feel for the friendship of Frodo and Sam?

Embrace your inner sensitive male. Then give him some tongue. In a manly way.