CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › Drafts & Lists › Maxim Does It Again
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Maxim Does It Again - Page 2

post #51 of 86
2/23/07 at 11:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCynic
starship troopers is the absolute definition of a contender for the 'best awful movie' crown. the acting is awful. the dialogue is awful. the plot is awful. even the fucking titties are awful.

No.
Reply
post #52 of 86
2/23/07 at 11:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
Well, when the main competition is Hell Comes to Frogtown....
I sure could go for some Hell Comes to Frogtown right now.

Did anyone catch the sequel? I almost picked it up from the $5 bin at blockbuster.
Reply
post #53 of 86
2/23/07 at 11:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCynic
starship troopers is the absolute definition of a contender for the 'best awful movie' crown. the acting is awful. the dialogue is awful. the plot is awful. even the fucking titties are awful.

and how the hell are kurt and sly b-list action stars?
The titties? Fuck you, sir.
Reply
post #54 of 86
2/24/07 at 2:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith Fordyce
I honestly don't remember Over the Top. Stallone. Kid in every other 80's movie. Custody dispute. I can imagine the studio pitch: "It's like Kramer vs. Kramer, but with arm wrestling!"
That punchline is an exact quote from Norm MacDonald in an SNL sketch from the mid 90's, where Stallone is consoling him right after a car accident and Norm, fighting through tremendous pain and agony, trashes most of Sly's films....I loves me some Norm MacDonald:

"Stop....Stop....Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot sucked..." *faints*


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Harvey Cobblepot
Hard Target has the most ass-kicking last half hour ever, goofy hairdo or no. It's pure Woo. Fuck'em.
Fuck yes. There's a great slo-mo shot during the final scenes of Lance Henriksen on fucking fire. Whole back ablaze, and what does that do his mien? All it did was make him angry. Why Lance Henriksen doesn't get more work, I'll never know.
Reply
post #55 of 86
2/24/07 at 2:51am
Of all the shitty Van Damme movies that could have been on that list, Hard Target? It probably came down to a coin flip between that and Universal Soldier.
Reply
post #56 of 86
2/24/07 at 3:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith Fordyce
Of all the shitty Van Damme movies that could have been on that list, Hard Target? It probably came down to a coin flip between that and Universal Soldier.
What? No Sudden Death?
Reply
post #57 of 86
2/24/07 at 4:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
What? No Sudden Death?

Going by that list, I doubt they've even seen Sudden Death. I think they just put a bunch of cult movie titles in a hat and drew them out, then read the back of the video box for the descriptions. Besides, where's the Plan 9 love? Or is that movie too old for the Maxim reader attention span.
Reply
post #58 of 86
2/24/07 at 7:51am
Quote:
starship troopers is the absolute definition of a contender for the 'best awful movie' crown.
It really, really isn't. Like with Showgirls, it's all very intentional (we are talking about Verhoeven after all), but here it works.
Reply
post #59 of 86
2/24/07 at 8:02am
god, nevermind.
Reply
post #60 of 86
2/24/07 at 8:26am
Thanks. Us peons will do just fine without your pearls of wisdom.
Reply
post #61 of 86
2/24/07 at 9:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonard
Fuck yes. There's a great slo-mo shot during the final scenes of Lance Henriksen on fucking fire. Whole back ablaze, and what does that do his mien? All it did was make him angry. Why Lance Henriksen doesn't get more work, I'll never know.
Look at Henriksen's imdb page. He's a workaholic. The problem is that he doesn't seem to care what piece of shit movie he's signing up to do.
Reply
post #62 of 86
2/24/07 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCynic
god, nevermind.
I really wasn't trying to be a pain in your ass. I assume that you mean what I wrote is painfully obvious and I am missing your point. If so, I apologise.
Reply
post #63 of 86
2/24/07 at 3:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninhead
Who exactly do they claim to represent again?
Devin?
Reply
post #64 of 86
2/24/07 at 7:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isao Kanemasa
I know Simon was. I think Philip was eating lobster sashimi at the seafood restaurant on Redondo Beach Pier.
You know, I hear the food is pretty good there.
Reply
post #65 of 86
2/24/07 at 7:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Harvey Cobblepot
I really wasn't trying to be a pain in your ass. I assume that you mean what I wrote is painfully obvious and I am missing your point. If so, I apologise.
no no no, it's cool. i just realized that i was going to argue with someone over the fact that starship troopers is an awful movie, which upon reflection seems completely pointless. to me. i don't concede any of the points you or anyone else brought up about the film, so i simply agree to disagree.

truth be told i'm not even sure what's being argued. if starship troopers is something more than an awful movie, or a 'great' awful movie in terms of this thread, i don't think bringing up showgirls is going to help your point at all. intentional or not, putrid is putrid. to me. but certainly no apology is necessary.
Reply
post #66 of 86
2/24/07 at 7:55pm
Starship Troopers is one of the most amazing examples of tongue in cheek filmmaking ever. The thin line it walks is impressive and it does so in a way few other movies can compare to. It's a blast.

Plus it has GREAT special effects work, that still hold up today.
Reply
post #67 of 86
2/24/07 at 8:02pm
we agree on something.
Reply
post #68 of 86
2/24/07 at 9:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
Starship Troopers is one of the most amazing examples of tongue in cheek filmmaking ever. The thin line it walks is impressive and it does so in a way few other movies can compare to. It's a blast.
Not that it matters now, but this is the point I was trying (and failed, obviously) to make.
Reply
post #69 of 86
2/24/07 at 10:20pm
never underestimate my ability to not get things.
Reply
post #70 of 86
2/24/07 at 10:34pm
That came out wrong. I meant that when I reread my post I didn't necessarily put it very clearly.
Reply
post #71 of 86
2/25/07 at 2:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timo
Look at Henriksen's imdb page. He's a workaholic. The problem is that he doesn't seem to care what piece of shit movie he's signing up to do.
Man's gotta eat.

Why he doesn't get more decent work, that's what I should've said. I used to enjoy his work on Millennium on Fox. Great work in Dead Man. And Stone Cold speaks for itself.
Reply
post #72 of 86
2/25/07 at 2:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonard
LANCE HENRIKSEN GOTTA EAT!
I sincerely apologize for Talkbackizing your post. Please don't hate me.
Reply
post #73 of 86
2/25/07 at 2:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
1. Big Trouble in Little China

Maxim sure knows how to get it's magazine advertised on every geek board on the planet.


sonfofabitch must pay
Reply
post #74 of 86
2/25/07 at 3:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Harvey Cobblepot
Starship Troopers is awful? No. I love that they have to ask if it really might be a satire on fascism, as if they're not really sure. Fuck'em.
The things is that the film by Verhoeven is CLEARLY satirical; but Heinlein's book is NOT.

Of course, I am assuming that the makers of the list haven't gone near a book in...well, ever, so their confusion is probably 100% due to stupidity.
Reply
post #75 of 86
2/25/07 at 3:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryOpenupthesky
sonfofabitch must pay
I think it was a bunch of sonsabitches that made the list, not just one s.o.b.
Reply
post #76 of 86
2/25/07 at 3:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
I think it was a bunch of sonsabitches that made the list, not just one s.o.b.


but then I wouldn't be quoting the movie would I?
Reply
post #77 of 86
2/25/07 at 3:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryOpenupthesky
but then I wouldn't be quoting the movie would I?
My bad, I don't have the BTiLC quotes mentally rolodexed.
Reply
post #78 of 86
2/25/07 at 5:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
The things is that the film by Verhoeven is CLEARLY satirical; but Heinlein's book is NOT.

Of course, I am assuming that the makers of the list haven't gone near a book in...well, ever, so their confusion is probably 100% due to stupidity.
The thing is, I see the same thing all the time. Just a week ago it was showing on cable around here, and there was a short review in the TV listings where the reviewer did the same thing. It was like he read somewhere that it might be satire but personally he couldn't see it. I don't get how people can miss that, I really don't. It's not like it's subtle.
Reply
post #79 of 86
2/25/07 at 12:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith Fordyce
Going by that list, I doubt they've even seen Sudden Death. I think they just put a bunch of cult movie titles in a hat and drew them out, then read the back of the video box for the descriptions.
Bingo. Between this and that comedy list, I'm thinking that at least they know their audience pretty well. Anyone who is well versed in B-movies wouldn't need Maxim for the spank bank.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith Fordyce
Besides, where's the Plan 9 love? Or is that movie too old for the Maxim reader attention span.
Well, it is in black and white.
Reply
post #80 of 86
2/25/07 at 1:53pm
The issue with this list is that truly awful movies never get discussed and therefore fly under the radar of a publication like Maxim. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever and You Got Served are probably two of the worst movies I've ever seen just in terms of general ineptitude but can I find them on this list?

And how do you make a list like this and not bash The Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones a little bit. Not a lot, just a little.
Reply
post #81 of 86
2/26/07 at 3:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
....Plus it has GREAT special effects work, that still hold up today.
It's true. I have yet to see a giant space-insect movie with effects as great as are in Starship Troopers. And I am not being a snarky prick here, I seriously god-damn LOVE the effects-work in the flick. Nothing in the last decade has captured my attention in this area as dramatically until Dead Man's Chest, in fact.

Again: LOVE.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
My bad, I don't have the BTiLC quotes mentally rolodexed.
How about just the best one, then?
Reply
post #82 of 86
3/5/07 at 1:32am
How many of these should really be on such a list is infinitely debatable. But including the following is just plain nuts.

Quote:
15. They Live: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper has sunglasses that enable him to see that many people are, in fact, aliens. It’s a real crowd pleaser.

14. Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins- They were looking for a blockbuster action franchise. That didn’t happen.

11. The Toxic Avenger: Troma Films’ masterpiece reveals what happens when a nerdy janitor falls in toxic waste: superpower strength to rip off a person’s arm and beat him with it.

8. Commando: After a former Latin American dictator snatches his daughter, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ex-GI John Matrix must rescue her using only violence and one-liners: “I let him go,” “He’s dead tired.”

5. Dead Alive: In this pre-Lord of the Rings gorefest by Peter Jackson, zombies battle with Father McGruder, the kung fu priest.

1. Big Trouble in Little China: Kurt Russell needs to save a green-eyed girl from a Chinese man who wants to marry her so that he can take over the universe. Or something like that. Honestly, no one knows what’s actually going on in this guns and kung fu mishmash, but if you spot it while flipping channels you will watch it until the end.
Maxim is horrible. They can just go never fuck for all I care. That is, unless they want to fuck my avatar.
Reply
post #83 of 86
3/5/07 at 3:06am
I really hate to defend Maxim but I think what they meant by The 20 Greatest Awful Movies of All Time is the "Best Guilty Pleasures." Every movie on this list is considered a "bad movie" by a lot of people but is also considered a favorite guilty pleasure to many more.

I love They Live, Starship Troopers, The Toxic Avenger (or any movie by Troma), Dead Alive, Showgirls, Porky’s and Big Trouble in Little China and they are all schlocky movies but are also a lot of fun - guilty pleasures.

I don't think they would call them the greatest awful movies if they really hated them - it would just be the worst movies then. I really think they were just trying to pay tribute to these movies.

Look at what they said here:

1. Big Trouble in Little China: Kurt Russell needs to save a green-eyed girl from a Chinese man who wants to marry her so that he can take over the universe. Or something like that. Honestly, no one knows what’s actually going on in this guns and kung fu mishmash, but if you spot it while flipping channels you will watch it until the end.

That does not sound like hatred for a bad movie.

If not, they really are idiots.
Reply
post #84 of 86
3/5/07 at 3:17am
Thread Starter 
I don't think the list implies hatred for most of these movies. But a lot of the choices, at least the ones that upset some of the folks around here are just not films that belong in the "So bad they're good" catagory. That's fine for stuff like SHOWGIRLS, I'd even throw STREET FIGHTER on a list like that.

But flicks like THEY LIVE, STARSHIP TROOPERS, and even COMMANDO know exactly what they are and are some of the best of what their genres have to offer.
Reply
post #85 of 86
3/5/07 at 6:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
But flicks like THEY LIVE, STARSHIP TROOPERS, and even COMMANDO know exactly what they are and are some of the best of what their genres have to offer.
I agree but most people I know think Starship Troopers is trash - because they don't see what the moviemakers are trying to do.

Roger Ebert:
Quote:
"Starship Troopers'' is the most violent kiddie movie ever made. I call it a kiddie movie not to be insulting, but to be accurate: Its action, characters and values are pitched at 11-year-old science-fiction fans
They Live will never be given a break by Joe Q. Public because it stars Roddy Piper.

As for Commando, check out these "positive" reviews
Quote:
Totally hilarious by today's standards. The opening credits with Arnold and Alyssa Milano are a thing of beauty, and the glam rock tune that ends things is genius.
Quote:
So bad it's good, a guilty pleasure.
Quote:
A violent guilty pleasure from the Schwarzenegger estate
Don't get me wrong. I love these movies, but at the same time, I still consider them guilty pleasures.
Reply
post #86 of 86
3/6/07 at 3:46am
Poorly written and a backhand to most people that love these films. Maxim is fairly worthless.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Drafts & Lists
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › Drafts & Lists › Maxim Does It Again