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March Madness: Battle of the Detectives - Nominees

post #1 of 105
Thread Starter 
We've done this before (sort of) in the past around this time, so why not do it again. It's fairly easy to put together, and I've got time, and I thought a battle to see who the Chewers' favorite fictional detective of all time is would be great.

So, the rules:

1. For the sake of argument, I'm saying that a detective must have been portrayed either on film or televison to qualify. This detective can be an amateur, it can be a cop, or it can be a private investigator.

2. I am disqualifying Batman because he's a superhero, and that's a separate thing altogether.

3. A person can nominate ONE detective a day until the intial round of 64 contenders are complete, but:

4. Like the "All Time Greatest Comedians" thread, a contender cannot be nominated unless the nominator gives at least two sentences defending their choice. I don't care if this is goofy or not, but you've got to give at least one reason for the sake of discussion. And like the Comedians thread, let's try to keep a running list to keep track.

5. After we reach the first 64, I will seed, divide and pair up the 64 candidates into four brackets.

6. Rounds 1-3 will be selected by individual chewers who indicate a desire to partcipate in this thread or ask for a pick in each round. You get ONE pair per round, and you are allowed to choose whichever contender you want for whichever reason you want -- but again, you have to explain why.

7. As we move into the sweet sixteen, we'll move to a poll-based competition where any chewer can vote anonymously. The polls will have a time limit of 72 hours, but may be extended for later rounds depending on response. This will continue until the final rounds and we shall see who the champion is.

(If there's no response to this, that's fine. I just thought it'd be a fun thing to do.)
post #2 of 105
1. Vic Mackey - The Shield

Mackey is a cop who does the things that other cops won't to get the job done.

Planting evidence? Check.
Informing gangs of traitors within their group? Done.
Trading hard drugs for tips? Not a problem.
Going into business with people he should be arresting? Sure, why not?

He'll kill a cop to save his hide, but will also torture the hell out of a possible suspect if they're involved with shooting at a cop. He'll rip off the Armenian mob's "money train", and use the money to help out his autistic children. Mackey's a fascinating character, and one you can help but root for, even if he's a "bad guy".

Need more reasons? Check out Vic Mackey's rules here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT2HpaD2ccs
post #3 of 105
2. Joe Hallenbeck - The Last Boy Scout.

Joe: So, I was thinking I could use a partner.
Jimmy: I don't know anything about being a detective.
Joe: There's nothing to it. But this being the nineties, you can't just walk up to a guy and smack him in the face, you gotta say something cool first.
Jimmy: Like "I'll be back!"
Joe: Yeah, only better than that. Like' if you're gonna hit him with a surfboard you'll say...
Jimmy: "Surf's up, pal!"
Joe: Yeah. Something like that.
Jimmy: So what else?
Joe: Nothing really. Except that water is wet, the sky is blue and ol' Satan Claus, he's out there, waiting...
Jimmy: So what do we do?
Joe: Be prepared, son. That's my motto: Be prepared.

I apologise if I'm off on a quote, that's from memory.
post #4 of 105
How about Staff Sergeant Dignam? Some may disagree with his unorthodox methods and rough, insensitive persona. However, you can't deny the palpable passion for what he does and his tenacious desire for righting what's wrong. Plus he's one of the most entertaing characters I've seen on screen since Bill the Butcher.
post #5 of 105
Okay, I'll be the obvious one:

Sherlock Holmes

One of my all-time favorite fictional characters, Holmes has inspired many other characters over the years, perhaps most notably Mr. Spock. Until Spock came along, Holmes was the world's foremost poster child for calm and reasoned analysis. He's also one of those characters that everybody has heard of even if they've never seen a single film or read a single story. He's very much the template for every quirky, personality-heavy detective character since.

So:

THE NOMINEES
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Sherlock Holmes
post #6 of 105
Thread Starter 
Dignam is a perfectly valid choice; all those guys were detectives.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
post #7 of 105
By the way, the first person to nominate Rigby Reardon gets $11,500 and a kiss on the lips from Carmen Miranda.
post #8 of 105
SAM SPADE, as portrayed by Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon.

Do I really need two sentences explaining why this ultimate badass needs inclusion on this list? Well, there's one sentence. Tough as nails, able to slip into moral gray areas if it lets him slip into some panties, but in the end he'll do the right thing, even if he's been sleeping with his partner's wife, the same partner who ended up in the soup.

Just refer to the scene where he manhandles Joel Cairo with a smile, that about says it all.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
post #9 of 105
This thread would have been 200000% cooler if it had been titled "Watching the Detectives"
post #10 of 105
Detective Frank Pembleton

It would be wrong not to have this guy in the mix. He's a hard working guy who, in spite of the system around him, manages to get shit done. His intensity is unmatched also.
post #11 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
This thread would have been 200000% cooler if it had been titled "Watching the Detectives"
I take it you've seen TCM's promos for their detective movie nights, and they're playing that song. I know TCM realizes its not just for granpa anymore, but it's still weird to hear stuff like that on there.
post #12 of 105
No, I just know the song.
post #13 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger
Detective Frank Pembleton

It would be wrong not to have this guy in the mix. He's a hard working guy who, in spite of the system around him, manages to get shit done. His intensity is unmatched also.
So, uh...you gonna add him to the list, or what?
post #14 of 105
Thread Starter 
I must add the other great David Simon cop, Det. James "Jimmy" McNulty, as played by Dominic West on 'The Wire.' McNulty is a self-destructive, boozing, adulterous asshole who enjoys fucking with his superiors. Those same superiors would love to get rid of him -- and boy, do they try -- but he keeps coming back, for one reason, and one reason only: He's good police. He gets the job done.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
post #15 of 105
Brendan from Brick. The kid could take a beating and could dig Tolkien. Plus, he was a real motherfucker.
post #16 of 105
Dudley:Would you be willing to plant corroborative evidence on a suspect you knew to be guilty, in order to ensure an indictment? ...
Exley: No!
Dudley: Would you be willing to beat a confession out of a suspect you knew to be guilty?
Exley: No.
Dudley: Would you be willing to shoot a hardened criminal in the back, in order to offset the chance that some... lawyer...
Exley: No.
Dudley: Then, for the love of God, don't be a detective.


Things... change.
Detective Lieutenant Edmund Exley is #9.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
post #17 of 105
From a TV movie in 1967 to a long-running series, to a final (maybe?) TV movie in 2003, Peter Falk's run as TV's favorite quirky police detective is almost certainly the longest and most successful in history. He almost single-handedly made detective shows one of the most popular genres on television, inspiring scores of imitations throughout the seventies and eighties.

Plus, come on, it's Peter Falk.

Incidentally, the character's first name remains a point of mystery even among the most devout fans. It's never said once throughout any of the character's appearances.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
post #18 of 105
New York Police Detective John MaClane.


Reason:
Because it's fucking John MClane.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
post #19 of 105
JIM ROCKFORD

My personal favorite TV detective of all time. C'mon, you know you're humming that theme as you read this. Rockford was in the school of the down on his luck schlub detective, he worked out of his trailer on the beach and could usually be found arguing with his pops or haggling about an extra ten bucks with Angel. Or trying to stop Becker from throwing him in the clink.

Most importantly, he had a penchant for walking into dark rooms and getting a sap to the head. Every week it seemed like. In fact, Rockford got beat up alot, but by the end of the episode usually came out on top, even if he never seemed to get paid for any of his work.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
post #20 of 105
J.J. 'Jake' Gittes.

She's my sister. (slap) She's my daughter. (slap) My sister, my daughter.(Two more slaps)She's my sister and my daughter!

Hows that for detective skills?


1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)

edit- I posted my other choice (Brendan from Brick) last night before I went to bed, but since it was after midnight it counts as the same day. Should I edit this pick and wait to repost it?
post #21 of 105
I doubt anybody's going to get worked up about it. If you actually have to wait 24 hours, I've already broken that rule.
post #22 of 105
Let's see, let's see. So many to choose from. I'm going with Jim Malone. Malone teaches Ness how the do things in Chicago which leads to the demise of arguably the most infamous mobster in history. He's tough, gritty, honorable, a man's man. And countless memorable lines.

"You're muckin' with a G here, pal!"

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
post #23 of 105
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David
I doubt anybody's going to get worked up about it. If you actually have to wait 24 hours, I've already broken that rule.
Yeah, I would rather we have a decent stable of contenders in a few days rather than taking a week. The "one a day" rule is in place so the thing doesn't fill up with a few people's picks in a few hours, but in cases like the above, flexible.
post #24 of 105
Det. Lester Freamon - The Wire

While Dominic West's Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty may be the unofficial "star" of the show . Lester Freamon is the cop I mostly root for. Cool and smooth, Freamon does good ole fashion police work, picking up on the small details that others may have missed.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
post #25 of 105
Would existentialist detectives be a stretch? If not, then I'd like to nominate Bernard and Vivian from I Heart Huckabees.
post #26 of 105
I'm going to go in a completely different direction here and nominate:

William of Baskerville - The Name of the Rose

Not only is it a great overlooked performance by Connery, but he's also a detective working against such a stacked deck -- here's a man trying to use science and reason in a world that looks on such things as suspect at best and worthy of a good burning at worst.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
post #27 of 105
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)

The two-fisted cop with a chip on his shoulder.

Why?

Let's just say that if the scene of the crime were a public library, this man could find the one book containing the murder weapon --without any clues, without pulling any other titles off the shelves. And he could do it all while eating his brown-bag lunch.
post #28 of 105
Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)

First off, no other cop has both saved the Queen of England and umpired a MLB game in the same day. Not to mention. An older gentleman, capable of getting a younger gal in and out of several sticky situations. Plus, he is the last known person to put a positive spin on OJ Simpson.

Edit:
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
post #29 of 105
Inspector Gadget - (Inspector Gadget)

Fuck Lee Majors. Inspector Gadget is the real Six Million Dollar Man . The dude has a mallet and a propeller that pops out of his hat, not to mention springs for legs. Top those off with his super smart niece and her talking dog, criminals don’t stand a chance.

Edit:
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
post #30 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey, The Long Kiss Goodnight

There are many reasons to put him on the list, but one of them isn't that he'll be missed by NASA. He likes to sing the blues and draw pictures of ducks in his notebook. His method of deflowering a virgin includes a sock in the jaw and 'Pop goes the Weasel'. Also, he's not above making the nasty threats:
Quote:
"You're assuming I won't shoot your sorry ass, but everyone knows that you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you... and umption. If you do cop a 'tude, jerkoff you can spend the next ten years in jail, getting assfucked. And if the case is thrown out because my arrest is too violent, I will personally hire men to assfuck you for the next ten years. In short: If you're an assfucking-fan, you go ahead and mouth off."
post #31 of 105
Daryl Zero from Zero Effect. He's a recluse who writes bad love songs while standing on his bed, and he can find the shit out of keys that fall in couch cushions.

"Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them. "

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey, The Long Kiss Goodnight
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
post #32 of 105
Rick Deckard from Blade Runner. I can't believe it took this long for him to be mentioned. He gets the bejesus beat out of him be several people, administers the shit out of the Voight-Kampff test, and is probably an android. Take THAT, inspector gadget.


1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey, The Long Kiss Goodnight
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
post #33 of 105
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron
Would existentialist detectives be a stretch? If not, then I'd like to nominate Bernard and Vivian from I Heart Huckabees.
For thinking outside the box, we'll allow in and count 'em as one. (And also because I love that movie.) Add 'em with a reason!
post #34 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey, The Long Kiss Goodnight
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Hercule Poirot

Never mind the silly moustache. The bebowlered Belgian is the king of Locked Door Mysteries. Don't invite Dame Christie's detective to your dinner party unless you want someone to turn up dead.

(Edit: Columbo & Drebbin were taken)
post #35 of 105
Val Kilmer as Gay Perry in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Badass detective to the stars who's the kind of guy who receives a ceramic pistol as a gift from his mom and isn't afraid do what needs to be done to child molesters. Also, he's even funnier than Frank Drebin.
post #36 of 105
Thread Starter 
The list so far:

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
post #37 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo
11. Det. John MClane.
12. Jim Rockford
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen, HARD-BOILED (1992)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey, The Long Kiss Goodnight
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Hercule Poirot
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk

Great actor. Great character. The premise is ridiculous, but somehow it all just works. While he's really just a classic detective with some modern quirks, Shalub makes him so damn likable that I can look past many of the shows shortcomings.
post #38 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)

Since the partner of my namesake (Drebin) and the creator of my sigline (Pembleton) have been picked. I choose:

Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fitzgerald - Cracker

I'm not typically a fan of british crime shows. I had heard a lot about this show and gave it a chance. Here you have a guy who is a complete self-distructive, knows it and keeps on going while bringing down some particularly nasty cases.
post #39 of 105
Thread Starter 
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)

The 'Law & Order' cop by which all other L&O cops are measured, Briscoe and the actor who portrayed him, Jerry Orbach, took TV's modern "Dragnet" and created a character as iconic as Jack Webb's Joe Friday almost forty years prior. Despite Dick Wolf's insistance that "the story is everything," Briscoe became Law & Order to many people. His pre-credit cracks were as black as the coffee he drank, and the show has never really recovered from the character's death. Briscoe RIP.
post #40 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. 1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)

She's smart. She's tough. She's the only character on this list that I actively want to nail.

Edit: I'd love to judge some of the early rounds.
post #41 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)

28. Nick Charles (The Thin Man), together with wife, Nora, and their faithful pooch, Asta, proves that the cold science of detection practiced by Sherlock Holmes is no match for getting good and sloshed. Seriously, as first conceived by Dashiell Hammett, Nick Charles is the original Drunken Master of Shamus'.


Edit: How the hell did we miss Phillip Marlowe up to this point? The guy solved the mystery in "The Big Sleep" and who else can say they understand it? Apparently not its author, Raymond Chandler.
post #42 of 105
I'd like to state my desire to be involved in the first, second or third round pics.
post #43 of 105
I'd also love to be a picker... heh, heh.
post #44 of 105
Joseph D. Pistone. This guy is undercover for a number of years which leads to a number of arrests in a dangerous criminal oganization all while dealing with his crumbling marriage, personal feelings for Lefty, and his growing cloudy perception of who he really is. Plus he's real.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)
28. Nick Charles (The Thin Man)
29. Joe Pistone (Donnie Brasco)

I'd be interested in judging also.
post #45 of 105
As a kid, one of my favorite tv shows was Ironside. Looking back now, I think that's pretty unique viewing for a kid in Elementary school.
Raymond Burr delivered a very robust, memorable character on the show. An intelligent, efficient and tough detective who refused to give up, bound to a wheelchair no less. I haven't revisited the show in years, but I from what I recall, this was one of the richest dramas of its time. Therefore, I'd like to be the one to submit Robert T. Ironside to the list.

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)
28. Nick Charles (The Thin Man)
29. Joe Pistone (Donnie Brasco)
30. Robert T. Ironside (Ironside)
post #46 of 105
1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)
28. Nick Charles (The Thin Man)
29. Joe Pistone (Donnie Brasco)
30. Robert T. Ironside (Ironside)

Quote:
This detective can be an amateur
31. The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
post #47 of 105
I don't know if he counts, because although he does plenty of detecting he's not technically a detective, but I nominate Will Graham from Manhunter.

He caught Hannibal Lecter and was eviscerated in the process. The FBI had to persuade him to come out of retirement to catch the Tooth Fairy because Graham is that fucking good. Plus, he knows exactly at what part of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida to jump through a plate glass window.

While my nomination logically extends to Ed Norton's portrayal in Red Dragon, in my heart it's all about Bill P.
post #48 of 105
Damn, I was going to suggest Will Graham from Manhunter, (To me I exclude Red Dragon from this selection but either way it's a great pic)

In that case, I choose another Michael Mann directed character:

Lt. Vincent Hannah - Heat

Sure he's infused with numerous Pacino-isms, impromptu screaming and what not. But here you have someone who is the personification of obsession, dedication and patientce when it comes to taking down bad guys. He knows that it takes time to take down crews and be ready to make the move when the other guy slips up.
post #49 of 105
John Shaft - Shaft

Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft!)
You're damn right

Who is the man
That would risk his neck for his brother man?
(Shaft!)
Can ya dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
(Shaft!)
Right on

You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
(Then we can dig it)

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
(John Shaft)


1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)
28. Nick Charles (The Thin Man)
29. Joe Pistone (Donnie Brasco)
30. Robert T. Ironside (Ironside)
31. The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
32. Will Graham (Manhunter)
33. Lt. Vincent Hannah (Heat)
34. John Shaft (Shaft)
post #50 of 105
Field Marshal Von Kluck: It is customary in zese situations for ze developer of ze plan to describe it.
Rigby Reardon: I beg your pardon. But it's also customary for the private eye to tell how he figured it out.
Field Marshal Von Kluck: No, it is my right! We were able to dupe Dr. Forrest by posing as a humanitary organization, who planned to wipe out hunger, by ageing cheese faster.
Rigby Reardon: But when your father finally saw what they were doing...
Field Marshal Von Kluck: - he began to assemble lists of names of our agents...
Rigby Reardon: - and seemed about to go to the FBI.
Field Marshal Von Kluck: We were zerfore obliged to kidnap him, drug him ang bring him...
Rigby Reardon: - here! First faking his death so there'd be no further investigation.
Field Marshal Von Kluck: But vile testing ze mold on a small island nearby...
Rigby Reardon: - cruise ship "Immer Essen" passed by. Some of the passengers saw the tiny island dissolve.
Field Marshal Von Kluck: Zey were zerfore labeled "enemies" because of what zey haf seen. We had Walter Neff cancel all further tours and our...
Both: - friends systematically began to eliminate everyone who was on that cruise ship.
Field Marshal Von Kluck: Schweinehund!
Rigby Reardon: Jerk!

Rigby Reardon - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

1. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
2. Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)
3. Staff Sgt. Dignam (The Departed)
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
6. Det. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street)
7. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)
8. Brendan (Brick)
9. Ed Exley (L.A. Confidential)
10. Lieutenant Columbo (Columbo)
11. Det. John McClane (Die Hard films)
12. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files)
13. J.J. 'Jake' Gittes. (Chinatown)
14. Jim Malone (The Untouchables)
15. Lester Freamon (The Wire)
16. Williamn of Baskerville (The Name of the Rose)
17. Inspector Geoffrey "Tequila" Yuen (Hard-Boiled)
18. Lt. Frank Drebin (Police Squad, Naked Gun movies)
19. Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
20. Mitch Hennessey (The Long Kiss Goodnight)
21. Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)
22. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
23. Hercule Poirot
24. Perry "Gay Perry" Van Shrike (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
25. Adrian Monk (Monk)
26. Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fiztgerald (Cracker)
26. Det. Lenny Briscoe (Law & Order)
27. Det. Supt. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)
28. Nick Charles (The Thin Man)
29. Joe Pistone (Donnie Brasco)
30. Robert T. Ironside (Ironside)
31. The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
32. Will Graham (Manhunter)
33. Lt. Vincent Hannah (Heat)
34. John Shaft (Shaft)
35. Rigby Reardon (Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid)
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