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CHUD Contest: Children of Men

post #1 of 14
3/27/07 at 8:05pm
Thread Starter 
Best of luck and I'll be posting the predictions in this thread.

http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=contests&id=9511
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post #2 of 14
3/27/07 at 8:19pm
Damn and I just bought this too.
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post #3 of 14
3/28/07 at 12:12am
I knew there was an advantage to waiting for it/being broke at the moment!
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post #4 of 14
3/28/07 at 12:24am
Um... so you have to wait until 2027 to win?
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post #5 of 14
3/28/07 at 2:23am
Thread Starter 
So far this contest has generated some interest from visitors (and a few Chewers). Here are the predictions so far:

Brian

Quote:
Headline: March 27, 2027 - "GOT'CHA ALIEN TURKEY SCUM! Hof Brau Manager Of Thirty-Five Years Found To Be Alien"
Nick K.

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George W. Bush Reinstated as President of the United States

Due to the recent terror attacks on Anna Nicole Smith's grave, the OJ museum, and the Karl Rove dump, the citizens of the United States have organized and threatened revolution if a strong leader is not put into the oval office. In response, the congress acted and named George Walker Bush President of the United States. "Due to his heroics and wise choices made after the 9/11 terror attacks, we know he will protect us," Senator Mary-Kate Olsen told us. There is still no word on Al Gore's opinion on this, but Michael Moore is claiming that the act meant to name Al Gore, but Karl Rove, Jr. engineered a typo . . .April Fools! The world is still celebrating George W. Bush's last day in office and the world remains at peace.
Jonathan

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Nostradamus style quatrain:

In the year of 2027 we shall see
If old people are sinkers or floaters
For Florida will be reclaimed by the seas
And Appalachians will become avid boaters.
Rob G.

Quote:
Newsweek: THE CHARMING SIDE OF PRESIDENT BUSH: "JUST CALL ME 'JENNA'"

Time Magazine: OIL REMEMBERED

Wall Street Journal: HORSE AND BUGGY STOCKS SOAR

Parade Magazine: BRITTANY: "YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN AFTER THE SECOND OSCAR™"

Premiere Magazine: 20 YEARS OF NOT EXISTING ANNIVERSARY ISSUE!

People Magazine: EILEEN SPEAKS! THE 47 YEAR OLD CELEBRITY TELLS ALL! "FETAL FILMS AND DUMPLINGS KEEP ME YOUNG!"

Rolling Stone: THE MONSTERS OF HIP-HOPERA

USA Today: ALL PIE CHART EDITION!

Cat Fancy: BOTCHED CLONING? WOEM!
Russell

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Spielberg and Ford Announce Plans for Indy 4; Lucas Remains Ambivalent
Keith B.

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2027's world will be much the same as today, as today's civilization is similar to 1977, despite the advances in technology. While some problems will be more dramatic, the same rivalries between countries will still be there, still causing the same problems they have been causing for years. Third-world countries are basically left to die out; the UN and various charities send support, but there is no large-scale effort. The so-called war on terror continues as unheralded police work, with a few attacks every now and then. The United States and much of the western world will become more closed in to themselves. The Internet's complete assimilation of newspapers, magazines, and television will leave many westerners feeling more independent, but also more unhappily isolated from others. Some remnants of the effort to stop global warming will remain and even persevere, but the weather will become a more chaotic force to be reckoned with. Tornado and hurricane seasons are becoming progressively longer every year, to some morbid amusement. The next few years are hinting at a second worldwide depression.
Sean F.

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What's 2027 going to look like...

Tired of being a second class nation, and pining for its former glorious days as masters of the seas and exploration, in 2027 Norway decides to begin raiding their neighbors ala their Viking ancestors. Aschewing modern technology, these new Vikings arm themselves in traditional garb and weaponary and pilage the living hell out of Sweden, the Netherlands and Great Britain.
Ryan T.

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"In the future, women will have breasts all over." - David Byrne

In the future, hackers will be able to, quite literally, steal your
identity by hacking your brain wirelessly. In the future, we'll all
see advertisements we'll have the option of getting our daily dose of
advertising, during REM sleep. In the future, all sex will be digital
and children will be replicated. In 2027, Osama Bin Laden will still
be at large. In the future, I will still have to lean down in the
middle of a crowded street to tie these frickin shoelaces.
Justin

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My Headlines for 2027

Uwe Boll's the Life and Times of Devin Faraci is number one at the Box
Office. Read Devin's review at www.chud.com, it's worth a trip for his
unbiased views.

George Lucas releases Star Wars: Episode 18 : The Rise of Taj starring an elder Karl Penn as the ghostly manifestation of Midichlorian cells that are supposedly known as the source of Jedi powers. This is still as yet unknown whether to be fact as Lucas continues to be mum on such particulars.

Geraldo Rivera's coup of the Iranian Government shockingly succeeds meanwhile David Hasslehoff's loses the race to be the new Prime Minister of Germany when the German public finds out that his running mate Kitt is not a fan of the Autoban, German beer and Michael Schumacher...all things sacred to the German people.

Angelie Jolie's adopted Asian baby's now grown have singlehandedly taken over the World's last Superpower in China with the deadly combination of voluptuous lips and the 10 pack abdominal muscles.
Erik

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"Otsby and Fergus Nobel Laureates: Cuaron still pissed"
Matthew

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<< FEBRUARY 17TH, 2027 >>

* "Survivor: Chernobyl" Winner Announced!
* Google Buys Puerto Rico.
* Congress Passes Bill For National Identification Chips.
* Startling New Evidence in JonBenet Murder!
* President Sets 2029 Deadline For Iraq Troop Withdrawal.
Brian G.

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BRUTAL SHOOTOUT ENDS WITH GOD LAUGHING

Local authorities mourn the deaths of four fallen officers after a deadly shootout with God himself ended with the Lord laughing as he escaped in his 1964 Cadillac. Police officials arrived at a seedy motel where they found God holed up with three hookers and extremelyhigh on PCP. When approached by the four officers God became belligerent and pulled out a shotgun and it was then God shot down the four officers. This news falls on the six month anniversary of Gods banishment from heaven for being what Lucifer has been quoted being "Too F--ked up." Gods death toll is now at 56 people not including all the hundreds of millions he was responsible for while still in heaven.
Kirk L.

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Jay-Z will have released his fourteenth comeback album. Suri Cruise will star in the Church of Scientology's newest franchise blockbuster. Film studios will earn a direct share off of Home Theater Direct Downloading. Gunfighting for profit in New Vegas-Thailand will finally become legal again (as well as the most downloaded program On Demand since The Convict, a reality series in which wrongfully imprisoned people are given the chance to race to freedom...and a cool billion dollars!)
Also, there will still be no exit strategy for Iraq, and chocolate will be downloadable.
Jon F.

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Ever wonder what the news headlines will read in the year 2027? Well now is your chance to play Nostradamus! Write a short paragraph of your predictions.

Celebrity News will remain uninteristing front page garbage. Paris Hilton will be found dead in the trunk of her own car. Autopsy reports will show no actual foul play, and will prove the theory that without help she can not figure out which door leads into her car. In other news the war with Alaska will rage on under the leadership of Republican president Frankie Munez.

Alaskan's, combined with organized Canadians and trained penguins with rockets attached to their backs will overtake many of the American defense forces. By 2026 both of the Dakota's will be inhabited almost 80% by sealions. Lastly, the new invention, Limbster will dominate the commercial market. This nifty device replaces any limb on the human body. It plays
MP3s, has a navigation device, and can even be used as a tip calculator.

Who knows what else the future will bring.
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post #6 of 14
3/28/07 at 2:23am
Thread Starter 
More....

Andrew R.

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20 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss!

America is one of the richest and most progressive countries in the world, yet the rapid increase in obesity has reached outstanding numbers (ex. the 1 yr. old child, who last year, reached a record weight of 120 pounds). Living in a country with great economic power and technological advancement, we are also living in a country with the smallest of practical nutritional knowledge...until now. After a long study of weight loss, trying everything from crazy dieting pills to the extremes of liposuction, the worlds smartest people working in science and technology today have found the weight loss answer we have all been looking for: dieting and excercise.
Jeff S.

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News Headlines 2027:

ELECTRIC FLYING CAR TAKES WRONG TURN, CRASHES INTO MOON MCDONALDS. ZERO GRAVITY FRENCH FRIES INJURE BYSTANDERS.

HOWIE MANDEL HAS HEART ATTACK, DIES DURING TAPING OF 'DEAL OR NO DEAL'. REGIS PHILBEN TO TAKE OVER AS HOST.

POPE FILES FOR DIVORCES FROM KEVIN FEDERLINE. "NOT THE SAME MAN I MARRIED", SHE CLAIMS.

BRAIN EMPLANTED IPODS CAUSE UNEXPECTED RESULTS. TOASTERS START TALKING. AND DANCING. WITH THE STARS!

WALT DISNEY'S HEAD REVIVED. SET TO PRODUCE '2101 DALMATIONS' AND 'TOY STORY 4D'

NORTH POLE COLD SPELL. TEMPERATURES PLUNGE TO 50 DEGREES FARENHEIT.
John C.

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The United States is in the midst of continued war. After finishing the "War on Terror" in Iraq, they pulled out, and then immediately dropped those pulled out troops into Iran, where they fought for a few years. The United States droops then slowly were dispatched to other nothern countries until they reached Russia, where they began "The Cold War 2: And You the Thought the First Time was a Bitch." They fought in the country, and the threat of nuclear war began to surface on the part of the Russians.

After Daniel Craig's successful run as Bond for 5 films, the series had run into creative bankruptcy again with Daniel Radcliff as 007, until the series received a shot of adrenaline in the form of Russia in the films, its former favorite for go to villains.

2027. After the threat of the nuclear war was made, and many lives were lost on both sides of the ocean, the United States decided to pit 80-year-old Sylvester Stallone against Dolph Ludgren in a battle to decide who would be named victor in the war of United States vs. Russia. The training is now being recorded for a documentary, and the final battle will be shown on pay-per-view for $125.00. Tune in to find out the fate of the world...
Jeff L.

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Predictions for the year 2027:

"Metro Atlanta" will unofficially begin somewhere near Anderson, SC.
----------
Advancement and proliferation in conferencing technology, and the replacement of paper in the workplace by the digital format will enable more people to work at home. The mass shift to the home work environment will also be justified by the high price of gasoline. However, the word "home" now implies a vehicle, and people will still drive from Anderson, SC to downtown Atlanta everyday to shop at the malls and big box stores.
----------
Some dolt with a last name we all recognize will be President of the United States. This means it's Chelsea Clinton or Jeb's son George P. Bush being that president (though most likely both at some point). No doubt elected by by the masses who equate trustworthiness, qualifications, and morality with the fact that they recognize the name on the ballot and that their parents (voters and candidates) were a Republican/Democrat too.
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The U.S. will be at war with some (or several) Third World country (Ohhh, let's say Argentina - they've got oil, right? - and Thailand). No one in this country will really give a shit because the headlines all are covering some white woman who was murdered in California by a celebrity and the ensuing circus of a trial. Most really won't give a shit about the war because most of the soldiers are from Mexico anyways, earning their U.S. citizenship under the newly enacted "Fight For Your Rights" law. The resulting "Mex-I-Can" vote puts the half-Mexican George P. Bush over the top in his bid for a second term in office (in a landslide, carrying 9% of the eligible voting populace).
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Just like the movies, comic books, music, and television of generations past were demonized, the Congress of the Video Gamers' generation will hold hearings on whether or not some new form of entertainment is desensitizing children and inciting violent and immoral behavior. Old people will continue to overreact to cultures that they find unfamiliar and don't care to learn about.
Patrick B.

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2027 will be the year headlines will shout out that Patrick Butler, thanks to his intense ability to be smarter than all other people while maintaining very high standards of sexiness at the same time, has been declared permanent Emperor of the Entire Planet, or EEP. This will also be the year that headlines scream out "Patrick Butler Ruins Everything!" because if people would just listen to me better then they wouldn't be having problems implementing my direct orders which should clearly lead to world peace and tranquility mostly through the strict direction of every individual's resources towards my happiness. It's the trickle down theory, it's supposed to work y'know.
Andrew K.

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In the year 2027 there will be no headlines because the entire human race will be connected as a hive mind.
Gio A.

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Instead of describing what might happen, I thought I'd just give you a few ACTUAL NEWS HEADLINES FROM 2027!

"President Clinton to Wed Longtime British Lover"
Both Clintons 42 & 44 plan to attend White House ceremony

"Vegas Rollers Sign 1st Round Pick"
105mph tossing phenom looking forward to graduating high school

"Zombies of Baghdad" Chomps Again!
Smash Hit Snags Nine Oscar nominations, including Best Picture
New Line/CHUD Cinema Continues Award Season Domination
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post #7 of 14
3/28/07 at 2:42am
I hope Sean F. is right. I look forward to the return of Vikings.
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post #8 of 14
3/28/07 at 2:57am
Damn, those are pretty good so far. I was going to send in an entry but I don't know if I can compete with that.
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post #9 of 14
3/28/07 at 9:36pm
Agreed. I was going to enter, but now I'm pretty sure I don't have a shot...
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post #10 of 14
3/28/07 at 9:48pm
I entered the most random and inappropriate (considering the movie) headline, really as a goof even though its not hilarious. And I forgot to sign my name. That's what you call a winner, right there.
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post #11 of 14
3/28/07 at 11:28pm
Thread Starter 
more....

Key C.

Quote:
USA gtz 2028 OLYMPX. FUK YEA.

So, the USA totally won the coin toss that the Olympic Committee has every like 4 years. China, who was tails (go heads!), totally ate it. Big Time. Then they all ate tofushi and had cold beers. The Germans, who lost out last round, totally dominates in the most popular Olympic sport, which is known stateside as telekinesis.
Joe L.

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I think in 2027 we won't have print newspapers any more (in the US), except for a very small niche market. And the headlines for those will be tailored to the small, wealthy, intellectual type people who read them, rather than general news. And personally i don't think much will change in the next 20 years except that poor people will be poorer, rich people will be richer, and most everyone will be less healthy, less active, less intelligent, and less safe. So take your average Fox News headlines from today (are democrats legislating defeat? are illegal aliens a threat to your children?) and those will probably be what we are getting everywhere in 20 years.
Marcus E.

Quote:
1. Lucasfilm and Fox release Star Wars: Force Edition (the 50th different home video release, ironically for the 50th Anniversary of the of the franchise) in Ultra HD (7680 x 4320), the new standard in Home Theater. Available only on iTunes.

2. Hannibal at the Gates becomes the first great movie featuring Hannibal in the title or having a character named Hannibal in 36 years and Spike Lee finally wins an Oscar for best Director.

3. The Hobbit loses Best Picture Oscar, but grosses $1 billion worldwide. Peter Jackson not impressed.

4. Pixar finally makes a terrible movie, but still wins Best Animated Film.

5. Final troops return from Iraq. Al-Anbar province still unstable.
Melissa B.

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EARTH EXPLODES

Millions in shock today as the planet Earth explodes. Luckily, since we live on Mars we're all okay.
Anthony H.

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Administration Claims Afghan, Iraq , Iran , Syrian Wars Near End

Scary Movie XXIII Highest Grossest Film Ever

Mexico, Canada Pass Tough Immigration Bills To Keep Americans Out

Unemployment Reaches Zero, Wal-Mart Hires 12M New Greeters

Tampa Man Flees To Spain
Brian O.

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Oil prices rise on news of unrest in the middle east
George W. Bush honored as humanitarian for his work in South America
Chelsea Clinton's memoirs top the best seller's list
Karl Rove released from prison (that's more wishful thinking, but still possible)
Breakthrough discovered in treating cancers
Tracey C.

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Headlines-- Rocky 18 hits theaters. Britney Spears is a grandma.- Former president George Bush still looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Shane D.

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I think in the year 2027 most blue color jobs will be obsolete and performed by machines. Maybe controlled by some IT type of guy.

Mostly everything will be delivered and scenes of serenity will be displayed on what ever type of flat wall television technology they’ll be producing at that time. I’d say 85 to 90 percent of human life will not venture out of their homes. The ones that do will be considered as vermin or possibly a great explorer.
Adam M.

Quote:
Gecko Nuclear Reactor Explodes! Ghouls Blamed for Bringing Ambient
Radiation Above 100 Rads for Their Own Personal Enjoyment! -Vault
City Herald

New Reno Balkanizes, Further Destabilizing Trade Relations

Klamath Overrun by Mutant Geckos! Are Ghouls to Blame?
AJ G.

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The Year is 2027 and the worlds super powers have converged into one conglomorate super government. The reason? The population of the world had become so overgrown that food and medical supplies have begun to run low. To solve the food shortage scientists began mutating livestock DNA and cloning bigger and better cattle to increase the out put of meat products.

Somewhere along the line a new strain of disease was created that was undetectable by our modern sciences and infected more then half the earth's population first striking them with an incurable disease, and then ultimatly killing them.

Panic ensued along with war and when nuclear wepons were used most of the harvesting grounds were decimated making the soil incapable of growing anything. The sea's became even more contaminated and all life suffered. Is all life doomed to fade out due to starvation and war?
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post #12 of 14
3/28/07 at 11:37pm
Thread Starter 
and more....

Douglas W.

Quote:
2027 - Top Headlines

The UN marks the 5th anniversary since the insertion of peacekeeping forces in Quebec to suppress the French speaking separatists.

Dannielynn Smith, daughter of Ana Nicole, named Playmate of the year.

Harry Potter and the Prostate Exam is published to rave reviews.

Tobey Maguire angered that he is not asked to appear in remake of the classic Spiderman film.

The Mexico City Raiders capture their third NFL Superbowl title.
Steve G

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Canadian Scientists Revive Winter With Atmospheric Generator; Cite Nostalgia and Ski Tourism As Impetus

China Sells California To Japan For 88.9 Trillion Yen

Former President Bush To Emcee Professional Eating Contest; Potato Chip Endorsement Expected
Jeremy R.

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"President states that cost of oil outrageous, but due to ever increasing demands for new 15 ton SUV due to tax breaks , price soaring to $12 a gallon will help stimulate the economy. Octogenarian speaker of the house Al Gore blames lack of interest by the government and big oil companies. In other news-Lyndsy Lohan was found non-responsive at her casino hotelroom in Tunica, MS; many might remember her for her explotation films throughout the late 2010's-starting with Herbie's Fully Loaded and ending with Mean Girths."
Joe Mc

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My psychical powers rival that of Sylvia Browne and John Edward combined. Also, in the future, they don't have lower-case letters.

40% OF HUMAN POPULATION NOW GENETIC CLONES OF L. RON HUBBARD. FRANCE STARTS OVER. DODO BIRD BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE, THEN SHOT. TOURISM SKYROCKETS AS CANADA CHANGES NAME TO "CANNABIS." IRONY NOW OFFICIALLY MEANINGLESS. OPRAH WINFREY JR. FIRST MAN TO WIN OLYMPIC GOLD METAL FOR ASTROGLIDING. EARTH'S SUPPLY OF PANTS DEPLETED. HOT NEW TREND: HAIRLESS FISH. FIRST GAY PRESIDENT HAS SEXUAL AFFAIR WITH THIRD GAY PRESIDENT. EINSTEIN BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE, THEN SHOT. WINNER OF AMERICAN IDOL '27: THE PLANET VENUS. EDIBLE CAR SOLVES INDIA'S HUNGER CRISIS. NEBRASKA APOLOGIZES, REJOINS UNION.
Vincent J

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CHEALSEA CLINTON/JENNA BUSH CAGE MATCH TO DECIDE NEXT ELECTION
Tennyson S.

Quote:
From the Boston Herald

Front Page, June 15, 2027

SCIENTOLOGISTS VINDICATED!

We are not alone. For the last 72 hours, cities around the world are experiencing “mass awakenings of the alien inside,” in which people ranging from 14 to 56 years of age are imbued with superpowers including telepathy, or the ability to communicate with others using only one’s mind, and telekinesis, the ability to move objects through the air. All explanations behind these mass awakenings seemed equally implausible, with guesses including rapture and planetary exposure to cosmic radiation, until today.

At 12:36 this afternoon Eastern time, a saucer-like spacecraft landed on the White House lawn. While onlookers gathered at fence and military personnel mobilized, what can only be described as a being of light materialized beside the craft and addressed the crowd. “We were looking all over for you” the emissary remarked. Explaining that human beings are in fact the descendants of a long lost colony, the being, who identified himself as “Nol Zartha,” proceeded to welcome humanity into the intergalactic community.
Trey K.

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Large scale whale beaching hits Albany , New York . Islamic Republic of Europa continues “conversion” of non-Muslims. Stores sold out of Playstation 7’s due to limited production numbers, riots occurs, thousands dead in the US alone. Keep “heads alive in jar” technology patented. The world’s largest supplier of stem cells declared that their stocks have rebelled and started causing cancer. NASA declares that we’ll return to the moon in the next 25 years. Where the hell are our flying cars?
Gloria D

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year 2027-Shaved heads are in, everyone's doing it
Drew M.


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China has conquered Russia and Europe looks to be next!
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolies only blood daughter Shiloh murders her five adopted siblings in a fit of rage and jealosy.
The father of Anna Nicole Smiths Daughter should be determined in the coming weeks.
Why Mike Judge's Idiocracy is becoming a reality: Fudruckers name change, Butt-Ruckers.
Dakota Fanning, the 21st century Drew Barrymore?
Eric T.

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In the year 2027, the Stephen Hawkins Space Observatory Platform (or SOP) will save the earth yet again from rogue asteroids hurtled at us from the hostle bug quarantine zone. Mind you, the SOP is not a space platform named after Stephen Hawkins, but is rather Stephen Hawkins himself cybernetically implanted into an orbiting space station. Unfortunately, with the technology of 2027 he still has to talk with that creepy robot voice. In sports, the NY Mets will have won their third straight game against the Hong Kong Cavaliers only to lose the fourth game and thus the World's World Series. And in movie news, "Meg 5: The Retribution" will be the number one movie in America, grossing a whopping 10.5 billion dollars in it's opening weekend in all five of the country's remaining movie theatres.
Ivan V.

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Well, by 2013 the human race will have ascended into the fourth dimension where time ceases to exist. Earth will be left abandoned and a new race of humans will inhabit Earth sometime later, all just part of the cycle of life.
Alec S.

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"58 SOLDIERS KILLED ON THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF WAR IN IRAQ"
Andrew R.

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Castro gives health update from hospital via myspace2027.com page: "I'm doing fine! Via Cuba!"
Benjamin M.

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In the year 2027, Sylvester Stallone will have a heart attack on the set of Rambo 8 after drinking 10 bottles of a new steroid that comes in liquid form.
Zack M.

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In 2027, the remake of Children of Men will be coming out in theaters.
Michael M.

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By the year 2027 I believe we'll be reading about a different picture in the Middle East. There will still be extremism and terrorism, but the secular movements we're starting to see even in Iran will have come to some sort of head in the next 20 years. I believe we will also be reading much about the close ties between Russia and China, and their distancing ties with the U.S. I believe we won't be reading anything about North Korea, as I expect Kim Jong Il to be gone, and his deified presence is the only thing holding that fragile system together. By 2027 the Koreas will probably have been united in a form closely resembling the current South Korean government. As for the US, we will be reading even more of our inevitable decline and of our subsequent controversial post-colonial practices to slow the bleeding (sounds familiar...it's a long process). Oh yeah and we could be reading about the wonderful island of California by then too. Cheers. Gimme that dvd!
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post #13 of 14
3/29/07 at 12:30am
Quote:
USA gtz 2028 OLYMPX. FUK YEA.

So, the USA totally won the coin toss that the Olympic Committee has every like 4 years. China, who was tails (go heads!), totally ate it. Big Time. Then they all ate tofushi and had cold beers. The Germans, who lost out last round, totally dominates in the most popular Olympic sport, which is known stateside as telekinesis.
Winner.

Quote:
In the year 2027, the Stephen Hawkins Space Observatory Platform (or SOP) will save the earth yet again from rogue asteroids hurtled at us from the hostle bug quarantine zone. Mind you, the SOP is not a space platform named after Stephen Hawkins, but is rather Stephen Hawkins himself cybernetically implanted into an orbiting space station. Unfortunately, with the technology of 2027 he still has to talk with that creepy robot voice.
Runner up.
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post #14 of 14
3/31/07 at 6:23pm
Thread Starter 
here's a few more:

Richard D.

Quote:
BUSH: "THE END IS IN SIGHT"
Washington -- The start of a major new offensive in Baghdad prompted President Jenna Bush to declare that, "My father's crusade is almost at over. The end is in sight."

Ignoring repeated calls for troop decreases from Democratic leadership led Senator Chelsea Clinton, Bush stated that the United States would not give up the last unconquered territory in the Islamic Republic of Iraq. "Baghdad is the last light of freedom in a land of darkness," she said, "the last bastion of the ideals my father fought for. We will prevail and maintain a beacon of democracy in a sea of fundamentalism."

It was not revealed whether troops would be diverted from Afghanistan, North Korea, Iran, Syria, Lebannon, Somalia, or the Sudan, but Bush maintained that "we will remain committed to the cause of freedom all over the world." She also deflected criticism of the armed evacuation of Haliburton personnel from the former Iraqi capital.

"Their expertise will be required to help rebuild democracies where we have knocked down tyranny," she said.
Michelle M.

Quote:
President George W. Bush, cryogenically frozen 20 years ago after suffering brain trauma from an assasination attempt, was awakened yesterday. Word has it that Pres. George W. left instructions that he was to be frozen by cryogenics if ever he was seriously injured and could not be saved by current medical technology and that he should be brought back when science was advanced enough to cure him. Coincidentally, his awakening came about just days after the law, which prohibits previous presidential office holders to run for the office again, is no longer in force. George W.'s people said in a statement that "he was recovering nicely and planned to hit the campaign trail for the 2028 election." Global warming experts have voiced their curiosity as to what Pres. George W. would have done if he woke up and there was no earth, and therefore no United States, to be President for.
Blake S.

Quote:
The World War played out in the years 2017 (trust me!) will involved biological weapons, because they're more trustworthy and more damaging than nuclear weapons. The effect these weapons have will be of total isolation. The communities of people will retreat to small communities in the country that are free of the nuclear fallout.
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