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Caption It!: Val Kilmer edition

post #1 of 54
4/27/07 at 4:46pm
Thread Starter 


Free Willy!


Yeah, I'm not very clever.
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post #2 of 54
4/27/07 at 4:48pm
(Insert joke about beached whale here)
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post #3 of 54
4/27/07 at 4:51pm
Apparently he's still working on perfecting that Brando impression he started in Island of Dr. Moreau. He's got bloated and crazy down pat.
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post #4 of 54
4/27/07 at 5:11pm
"Ugh, milk was a bad choice."


(Okay, so I stole that from 'Anchorman'. Shut up about it.)
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post #5 of 54
4/27/07 at 5:19pm
Who the hell let Schumacher near the Batman franchise again?
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post #6 of 54
4/27/07 at 5:41pm
Goddamn Aquaman needs to lay off the tuna.
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post #7 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:07pm
Kilmer Whale Beached on the Shore of the SalTON Sea
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post #8 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:09pm
The Doors He Can No Longer Fit Through
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post #9 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:09pm
Thread Starter 
And yet again, Matchstick shows us all up.
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post #10 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:14pm
Fat Man Forever
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post #11 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:18pm
"What? Hot dogs? No thanks. These five jellyfish filled me right up."
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post #12 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
Kilmer Whale Beached on the Shore of the SalTON Sea
Or, similarly, SparTON.

But my official entry is Pork Rindhunters.
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post #13 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:39pm
Eat Eat Coronary Coronary
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post #14 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:47pm
Veal Genius
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post #15 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:51pm
Pot Gut
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post #16 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:52pm
Pillow
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post #17 of 54
4/27/07 at 6:57pm
Thunderheart Attack.
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post #18 of 54
4/27/07 at 7:03pm
Kilmer taking his reprisal as Elvis in True Romance sequel too seriously
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post #19 of 54
4/27/07 at 7:03pm
The Prince of Eggplant
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post #20 of 54
4/27/07 at 7:07pm
The Bloat and the Fartness.

(Hey, all the good ones were taken.)
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post #21 of 54
4/27/07 at 7:15pm
Pop Secret

Womb's Blown

At First Bite
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post #22 of 54
4/27/07 at 8:20pm
Val Kilmer gained some weight.
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post #23 of 54
4/27/07 at 9:04pm
Lard Cash

Meat

Tombstone
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post #24 of 54
4/27/07 at 9:32pm
This thread has brightened my shitty day. Kudos to you, Richard Dickson, for my personal favs: Pop Secret and At First Bite.
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post #25 of 54
4/27/07 at 9:56pm
The Island of Pillsbury Dough
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post #26 of 54
4/27/07 at 10:11pm
1)

Talking manatee, yeah, yeah. Came here from the future, ugly sucker, only says "ficus".

2)

Clearly not prepared if gravity reversed itself.

3)

"After WILLOW, Kilmer and Warwick Davis remained friends. Here they're hanging out on the beach. Oh. Oh, wait."
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post #27 of 54
4/27/07 at 10:25pm
Kiss Kiss, Gorge Gorge.

Hey, I tried.
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post #28 of 54
4/27/07 at 11:04pm
"I feel the need ... the need ... TO FEED!"
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post #29 of 54
4/27/07 at 11:20pm
Thread Starter 
Some Tombstone inspired captions:

I'm your huckleberry, your blackberry, and your raspberry.

It appears my appetite knows no bounds.

I have two hands, each for shoving food into my mouth.
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post #30 of 54
4/28/07 at 12:07am
"This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!"
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post #31 of 54
4/28/07 at 12:11am
And with that...it dies.
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post #32 of 54
4/28/07 at 12:22am
The Ten Condiments: The Musical
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post #33 of 54
4/28/07 at 1:16am
Alexpander
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post #34 of 54
4/28/07 at 3:00am
Perry: He called her a... well, a bad word.
[pause]
Perry: Diet.
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post #35 of 54
4/28/07 at 4:44am
Has Batman become..the Penguin?
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post #36 of 54
4/28/07 at 12:33pm
Batman? More like Fatman.
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post #37 of 54
4/28/07 at 2:44pm
I thought wetsuits were supposed to be slimming.
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post #38 of 54
4/28/07 at 5:25pm
They said the camera adds 10 pounds. There was more than one camera.
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post #39 of 54
4/28/07 at 5:57pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan
Batman? More like Fatman.
So simplistic, but I laughed hard. Good one.
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post #40 of 54
4/28/07 at 6:18pm
He's got a rubber suit only a Schumacher could love.
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post #41 of 54
4/28/07 at 7:14pm
Moving away from the punnery...

In one of Nature's saddest scenes, the Kilmer returns to the beach in a fruitless search for the buck walrus who showed him a night of intense, briny passion some 8 months earlier.
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post #42 of 54
4/28/07 at 7:45pm
I guess the Ice Man wasn't satisfied with just biting at the air.
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post #43 of 54
4/28/07 at 8:00pm
I'm too close for forks, I'm switching to hands.
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post #44 of 54
4/29/07 at 7:02am
I don't know how to work this into a Kilmer reference joke, but he's clearly peeing in his wetsuit when that photo was taken.

In an homage to the Bridges family, Val Kilmer is shooting a new movie that combines the Big Lebowski and Sea Hunt.

Hey Maverick, you can be my wingman anytime.....my buffalo wingman.

I apologize.
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post #45 of 54
4/29/07 at 12:24pm
Peeing in the suit? How exactly could you tell by that photo?
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post #46 of 54
4/29/07 at 7:15pm
A pee in the suit breakdown...I would love to. It's a combination of a couple things, he looks very relaxed and like he doesn't have a care in the world, including a care about the faux pas of peeing in a wetsuit on the beach. And a key factor that his head is turned to the side while his eyes are closed, which is usually a sign of relief and calmness. The kind of relief and calmness one might get from opening the floodgates if you will. Think back on a time when you had to piss really badly and finally started going, you probably made a similar gesture.
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post #47 of 54
4/29/07 at 7:20pm
For the comfort of the baby, Kilmer has chosen to have a water birth.
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post #48 of 54
4/29/07 at 8:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by swedish miyagi
A pee in the suit breakdown...I would love to. It's a combination of a couple things, he looks very relaxed and like he doesn't have a care in the world, including a care about the faux pas of peeing in a wetsuit on the beach. And a key factor that his head is turned to the side while his eyes are closed, which is usually a sign of relief and calmness. The kind of relief and calmness one might get from opening the floodgates if you will. Think back on a time when you had to piss really badly and finally started going, you probably made a similar gesture.
I don't see how that breakdown means he was peeing. Couldn't he just be relaxing after diving and/or ski-dooing for awhile? Or you know... couldn't the brightness of the sun be what's making him close his eyes?
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post #49 of 54
4/29/07 at 8:48pm
And so, once a year, the Kilmer swims back to the place it spawned to lay its eggs, and once completed then to swims out to sea - thus beginning a new cycle of life.
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post #50 of 54
4/29/07 at 10:08pm
I swear to God, it's like somebody took America by the East Coast and shook it, and all the delicious treats fell right into my mouth.
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