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Dead Cat

post #1 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:12pm
Thread Starter 
There's a dead cat in a box that's been sitting on my block for a couple of weeks now. It's starting to get real ripe and stink up the place real good, even though people have thrown other trash away on top of it. (soda bottle, newspaper) My options here:

A: Call 311 and have them deal with it.

B: Draw sign exclaiming FREE CAT! with an arrow pointing towards the ex-cat.

Decisions, decisions. What do you guys think?
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post #2 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:12pm
Take a picture of the free cat sign.
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post #3 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
There's a dead cat in a box that's been sitting on my block for a couple of weeks now. It's starting to get real ripe and stink up the place real good, even though people have thrown other trash away on top of it. (soda bottle, newspaper) My options here:

A: Call 311 and have them deal with it.

B: Draw sign exclaiming FREE CAT! with an arrow pointing towards the ex-cat.

Decisions, decisions. What do you guys think?
Go with option B until the smell gets so bad that you can no longer stand it (or until vultures move into the neighborhood), and then go with A.
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post #4 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
It's starting to get real ripe and stink up the place real good...
How can you tell? Don't you live in NYC?
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post #5 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:19pm
Thread Starter 
The only problem is that it's technically in someone's driveway. Which also lends the question as to what the fuck these people are doing with a dead cat in their driveway for this long.
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post #6 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:21pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
How can you tell? Don't you live in NYC?
All NYC does is numb you to the smell of bum urine and body odor. The dead bodies still attract interest, for the most part.
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post #7 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:23pm
I just finished watching The Serpent and the Rainbow, so my guess is that they were demonstrating some powder for Bill Pullman.
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post #8 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:24pm
Retrieve dead cat. Make cat stew. Feed stew to other cats. Laugh Maniacally.
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post #9 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Call 311 and have them deal with it.
Allegedly (and I have no evidence of this), the animal control people (or whatever the civil servants that deal with this are called) charge the person who reports the dead animal for the disposal.

Again, I have no idea if this is true or not. But something to consider if you go with Option A.
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post #10 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:29pm
C. Play a good 'ole fashioned NYC game of cat-stick-ball
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post #11 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I just finished watching The Serpent and the Rainbow, so my guess is that they were demonstrating some powder for Bill Pullman.
Was that BEFORE or AFTER the nail through the scrotum?

...and as for the Ex-cat...it's a pity your mail isn't delivered through a small slot in your front door as it is in Europe.

Extrapolate...both what I'm meaning and the cat.
It's amazing how soft and fragile feline bones get after just a week of decomposition.
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post #12 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:37pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
Retrieve dead cat. Make cat stew. Feed stew to other cats. Laugh Maniacally.
You know, my girl's cat has been looking a little on the skinny side lately...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dario Delfino
Allegedly (and I have no evidence of this), the animal control people (or whatever the civil servants that deal with this are called) charge the person who reports the dead animal for the disposal.

Again, I have no idea if this is true or not. But something to consider if you go with Option A.
That's bullshit if it's true. Is there some law against leaving dead things outside?

Oh and I think Graham wins.
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post #13 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dario Delfino
Allegedly (and I have no evidence of this), the animal control people (or whatever the civil servants that deal with this are called) charge the person who reports the dead animal for the disposal.
Can you put on your neighbour's voice, Alex?

Also, aren't garbage people supposed to take care of this shit?
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post #14 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:42pm
Just PM fabfunk and tell him you know where he can get some dead pussy.

Should be gone in 24 hours or so.
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post #15 of 55
5/7/07 at 6:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
C. Play a good 'ole fashioned NYC game of cat-stick-ball
If only kick-the-cat was as popular as it was in the "good ol' days"...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex
The only problem is that it's technically in someone's driveway.
Would that someone be a certain Dr. Herbert West?
Quote:
Originally Posted by travishall456
Just PM fabfunk and tell him you know where he can get some dead pussy.
Necro-ZING!
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post #16 of 55
5/7/07 at 7:33pm
You live in Astoria, right? You know the Pet Cemetery near Flushing Meadows? Well, go there, and do the following:

1) Take cat and pickaxe/shovel combo to southwest corner of cemetery and follow the unkempt trail leading out the back

2) Ignore indian guy who keeps saying "The ground is sour up there"

3) Dig hole (this will take a while, if I remember correctly)

4) Bury cat, and in a few days, bing, bang, boom, you've got a brand new cat with absolutely no negative side effects.

Also, if you have some Trioxin lying around, I've heard that's also a way to go. All of this advice is assuming you want a new cat, so take it with a grain of salt!
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post #17 of 55
5/7/07 at 7:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky
You live in Astoria, right? You know the Pet Cemetery near Flushing Meadows? Well, go there, and do the following:

1) Take cat and pickaxe/shovel combo to southwest corner of cemetery and follow the unkempt trail leading out the back

2) Ignore indian guy who keeps saying "The ground is sour up there"

3) Dig hole (this will take a while, if I remember correctly)

4) Bury cat, and in a few days, bing, bang, boom, you've got a brand new cat with absolutely no negative side effects.

Also, if you have some Trioxin lying around, I've heard that's also a way to go. All of this advice is assuming you want a new cat, so take it with a grain of salt!
You forgot the part where he gets the shit freaked out of him by his wife's dead sister.

And where he ignores the old saw, "Always, always listen to Herman Munster's advice."
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post #18 of 55
5/7/07 at 8:09pm
Call the fucking health department. Leaving animal carcasses lying in the trash is against the law, I think. You just better hope it's not a leftover turkey. Because wouldn't you look silly.
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post #19 of 55
5/7/07 at 10:17pm
Bury it. Find the people that did it and kill them.
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post #20 of 55
5/7/07 at 11:01pm
Slater needs a new towel.
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post #21 of 55
5/7/07 at 11:10pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70sCinema
Call the fucking health department. Leaving animal carcasses lying in the trash is against the law, I think. You just better hope it's not a leftover turkey. Because wouldn't you look silly.
That's the hairiest motherfucking turkey I've ever seen if that's the case. Maybe I'll snap a pic tomorrow morning for you guys.
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post #22 of 55
5/8/07 at 12:19am
No, really. We're good.
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post #23 of 55
5/8/07 at 12:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
I just finished watching The Serpent and the Rainbow, so my guess is that they were demonstrating some powder for Bill Pullman.
Curious, I am currently reading the book. It's a lot better than the movie (surprise!)

Dead cats make me sad. Perform a memorial service.
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post #24 of 55
5/8/07 at 3:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
Bury it. Find the people that did it and kill them.
Seconded.
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post #25 of 55
5/8/07 at 10:00am
Thread Starter 
Cat's still there. Garbage went this morning too! I think tonight I will conduct Operation: Free Cat.

Coming from someone who never owned anything that couldn't be flushed down a toilet (little hamsters clogged up the pipes a few times though), what do you do when your dog or cat dies? In a more rural area sure you could just bury it, but I'd have to dig up a tree or go to a park to get rid of an animal here. Or just put it in concrete boots and throw it into the ocean. I'm pretty sure it's not standard practice to leave it as a decoration in the front of your house, though.
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post #26 of 55
5/8/07 at 10:15am
I'm gonna throw my hat in with the "Free Cat" sign group.

...is there a group? Do we have a group? Do we need to make a group?

Cause I'll start a group.
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post #27 of 55
5/8/07 at 2:37pm
If the cat's in a box, does it really exist?
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post #28 of 55
5/8/07 at 2:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
If the cat's in a box, does it really exist?
You win.
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post #29 of 55
5/8/07 at 2:41pm
You could youtube a reenactment of that one scene in Seven. Get a friend to play Sommerset and you play Mills and just scream out

"What's in the box?! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!"
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post #30 of 55
5/8/07 at 2:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
(little hamsters clogged up the pipes a few times though)
Eh? This is a new concept to me.

Flushing hamsters, that is.
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post #31 of 55
5/8/07 at 3:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
I'm pretty sure it's not standard practice to leave it as a decoration in the front of your house, though.
Do they also have a Xmas tree with the needles all fallen off by the curb? An indoor-couch on the front porch? Legless dog up on cement blocks?
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post #32 of 55
5/9/07 at 12:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Cat's still there. Garbage went this morning too! I think tonight I will conduct Operation: Free Cat.

Coming from someone who never owned anything that couldn't be flushed down a toilet (little hamsters clogged up the pipes a few times though), what do you do when your dog or cat dies? In a more rural area sure you could just bury it, but I'd have to dig up a tree or go to a park to get rid of an animal here. Or just put it in concrete boots and throw it into the ocean. I'm pretty sure it's not standard practice to leave it as a decoration in the front of your house, though.
Give it a burial at sea. Find whoever did it and kill them.
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post #33 of 55
5/9/07 at 7:53am
Garbagemen don't haul off dead pets. Call the PD and ask them what the procedure is. That's a serious health risk for your entire neighborhood.
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post #34 of 55
5/9/07 at 12:30pm
Maybe it's just playing dead, so it can jump out and scare someone.

You know that cats just love "Oh! It's just the cat!" scares. Peter Hyams can confirm this.
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post #35 of 55
5/9/07 at 1:16pm
Alternative #23: Pet Semetary
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post #36 of 55
5/9/07 at 2:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Cat's still there. Garbage went this morning too! I think tonight I will conduct Operation: Free Cat.

Coming from someone who never owned anything that couldn't be flushed down a toilet (little hamsters clogged up the pipes a few times though), what do you do when your dog or cat dies? In a more rural area sure you could just bury it, but I'd have to dig up a tree or go to a park to get rid of an animal here. Or just put it in concrete boots and throw it into the ocean. I'm pretty sure it's not standard practice to leave it as a decoration in the front of your house, though.
I think you can take 'em to a vet to be properly disposed of.

Be sure to take pics of the free cat sign and candids of anyone who decides to check out the offer.

I suppose it's possible the cat was road kill and someone put it in a box expecting it to be taken with the other garbage? Not sure why someone would box it up though...
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post #37 of 55
5/9/07 at 2:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello

Coming from someone who never owned anything that couldn't be flushed down a toilet (little hamsters clogged up the pipes a few times though), what do you do when your dog or cat dies? In a more rural area sure you could just bury it, but I'd have to dig up a tree or go to a park to get rid of an animal here. Or just put it in concrete boots and throw it into the ocean. I'm pretty sure it's not standard practice to leave it as a decoration in the front of your house, though.
What we used to do was stick it in a box and leave it in our most hated neighbours driveway...why, is there another way?
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post #38 of 55
5/9/07 at 4:26pm
Option 9,237: Test long-held theory by swinging the cat over your head and seeing if you hit someone from a minority group with it.
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post #39 of 55
5/9/07 at 4:37pm
Thread Starter 
I'll have a pic for you guys in 2 hours. My shitty ass cell phone probably won't take a very good one, and there is shit piled on top of it (and it is in a box in a box... an AC, actually) but you'll get the general idea.

I'm going to put two exclamation marks to emphasize it. If it's not gone by tomorrow, I'm going to take one of your other ideas (possibly the mailbox...)
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post #40 of 55
5/9/07 at 4:46pm
Thread Starter 
Preview of Coming Attractions....

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post #41 of 55
5/9/07 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
If it's not gone by tomorrow, I'm going to take one of your other ideas (possibly the mailbox...)

EwwwWWWwwwWWWwwwWWWwwwWWW!!
GROSS!!!

What sick fuck posted THAT?


...oh.
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post #42 of 55
5/9/07 at 5:32pm
I can't wait to get an 'on the scene' photo.
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post #43 of 55
5/9/07 at 5:35pm
This is gonna be glorious.

Hey, you could resell it to any Chinatown restaurant, you know.

Meat is meat.
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post #44 of 55
5/9/07 at 5:37pm
Or they could make violin strings out of it. Those wacky musicians will play with anything.
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post #45 of 55
5/9/07 at 6:14pm
Slater is going to receive full credit on the whole "Free Cat" angle for this, right?
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post #46 of 55
5/9/07 at 6:18pm
Thread Starter 
Fucking figures.

Cat and box are both gone. Smell remained.

Now I'm going to have to kill a cat and put it in a box so you all don't think I was lying... (sigh)
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post #47 of 55
5/9/07 at 6:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
what do you do when your dog or cat dies?
If it wasn't PTS at a vet's office, you can call your friendly local veterinarian about the local disposal service. For a fee they will retrieve your pet and cremate it, with either ashes returned or buried.

You might call animal control and tell them you think the cat's been injured, let them deal with it. Or you might call a vet, get the relevant info, and put it on the people's door.

ETA:
Pet Haven Cemetery & Crematory, 33 E End Ave # 1B, New York, 10028 - (212) 717-1906

Fasolino Monuments Inc 5060 48th St, Flushing, 11377 - (718) 784-1376

Fasolino Memorials Co 6656 80th St, Flushing, 11379 - (718) 326-3150 fasolinomemorials.com
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post #48 of 55
5/9/07 at 6:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Fucking figures.

Cat and box are both gone. Smell remained.

Now I'm going to have to kill a cat and put it in a box so you all don't think I was lying... (sigh)
Damn it. I was so looking forward to the pictures, too. This incident really needs to be added to the CHUD list of disappointments.
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post #49 of 55
5/9/07 at 6:25pm
Thread Starter 
Sorry guys, I fucked up. I would've done it yesterday but I went out for Spider-Man 3. In retrospect, I would've had more fun going home and taking pictures of decaying animals. What the hell was I thinking?
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post #50 of 55
5/9/07 at 6:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uth Vaspetad
Slater is going to receive full credit on the whole "Free Cat" angle for this, right?
No way.



Google image search bonus:



There. I'm done picking up your slack, Riviello.
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