Prostitutes

Where the hell do you live?

Can't drive 2 blocks at night without seeing one. Either that or there're hundreds of women walking the street who find me unbearably attractive...

Also: feels the resistance to engage in the obvious 'what about your mother?' joke should be rewarded.

True. Riquolice Lizra's mom is fairly known throughout the States.

I'm quite certain you've seen 'em on more than one occasion, you just failed to recognize what you were looking at.

A perfect opportunity to repost my brief little story from an '05 thread: A friend of mine lost his virginity to a hooker in Mexico, after she swallowed she forcibly regurgitated into a bowl hidden beneath her bed. My friend was under the impression that that was her quaint little sperm-vomit bowl, reserved especially for Johns...lovely.

East Hastings in Vancouver has more crack whores than you can shake a stick at, it's a really depressing place to drive through.

Now here's a better question: Has anyone here paid for it? If so, why?

What do you mean by pay for it? For example, I'm married.

Prostitoooooo!

Never paid for sex, but I'm not sure I wouldn't. An ex-friend's uncle owns a high-class whorehouse and I used to hang out there pretty often and just chat to the prostitutes. They were all pretty cool people, plus a whole lot wealthier that you or I. So even though I've never had the desire to pay for it, under the right circumtances, who knows...

Prostitute or not, we're always paying for it.

What prostitutes call a fee...wives call it "alimony".

Hi-yooooo.

A hooker would have to be pretty damn hot for me to pay her for sex. The cardboard roll from paper towel and some lotion can get the job done. Or the Ripoll Method works just as good and saves you money.

Yes. Yes you are.

I did it twice while I was abroad in New Zealand. The fact that it was legal made me curious, but horniness pushed me over the line. I'm only a man dammit!

When I was 16 my friends and i ventured over the border to Mexico. I went to this rather fancy(for Tijuana standards) gentleman's whore shack and got a private dance. I swear I sweet talked this lady of the night into performing oral by saying I would bring her back to the States with me. Only cost me 20 for the dance, then we bolted while she went to go clean up. Not necessarily proud of that moment, but I was an asshole in my youth.

I have a pretty funny Las Vegas experience from a few years back. My two roommates were losers who would routinely blow their paychecks on the local hookers (for the Vegas informed, I used to live off of Koval and Harmon, next to Ice.) So one fine Friday we are going to Lee's Liquor when my friend spots this emaciated blonde on the side of the road. He pulls over and dishes this fine line "Hey baby, you want to party?" She is at least in her late 40s, with caked on makeup and dried out frizzy hair. She takes a look inside the car and said "I don't do three guys at a time." I laughed out loud. She gets in and fucking reeks of feminine deoderant. She starts talking about how her daughter is about my age (19 at the time) as my friend tries to find a nice 'rest stop.'

We found a cul-de-sac on Bruce St. off of Harmon and pull over next to an apartment complex. I spent about twenty minutes sitting next to a curb while those idiots took turns trying to bang her in the back of his Pontiac sedan. I can't really describe what the car smelled like after that, but it was definitely one of those "I want to go home" moments.

Trying? So their mission failed?

Don't mock them. That's a perfectly normal problem. Perfectly normal.

Indeed.

Haha, yeah. One actually said that the way the hooker just kind of looked away and sighed right before he 'commenced entry' really just deflated his drive. I just found it funny considering all the stupid 'sexual dynamo' stories they would banter about with all of the time. I felt bad for them so we went to the exquisitely trashy Ellis Island for some graveyard special breakfast, my treat.

I hope the lady still got paid.

I wonder if any Americans have tried that line on her since, and if they left with their wangs intact.

I'd never pay for a hooker, I figure there's already too much shit to spend money that I don't have on.
But yeah, they're out there.

One time while riding in a van myself and some others were inexplicably attacked by a hooker, who started banging on the windows and yelling at us. It was pretty funny.

Last time a hooker tried to pick me up I was on my way home from work with the flu. I was visibly ill. I mean sweating, unshaven, shaking, leaking from the nose - the works. I was told by my coworkers that I looked like hell, and yet I looked good enough to this poor girl for her to try and sell me with a sultry "Where you goin?"

So either she was really indiscriminate about her potential johns, or she just figured I was on the same drugs as she was trying to get.

It's so much better when you imagine Goldblum saying it.

At midnight at a truck stop you can count em.

Would lot lizards be considered a subspecies of prostitutes? You know, high class madams being at the top of the prostitute food chain and lot lizards being nearer the bottom.

I've lived here all my life and never done that. I think the fact it's legal here now actually LESSENS the appeal.

Yeah, definitely a bottom rung variant. Typically not too bright, not attractive. As disease ridden as a CDC lab.

I've seen the Eastern European beauties (seriously) on the strip in Honolulu to the standards in Vegas to the trannies down in South Manhattan. Every major city's got em. Considering how teenage girls and music video dancers dress nowadays, it does get harder to pick them out.

I have never paid for it personally but I was engaged to a girl for a few years who was working as an Escort, and in her experience her clients broke down into three specific groups:
Out of Town Business Guys.
People who worked 60+ hour a week jobs and literally did not have time to forge proper relationships and were highly stressed and frustrated.
Younger guys at University frantically studying for those said 60+ hour a week jobs.
The amount of guys who would pay for it who were shit ugly and couldn't get laid were pretty few and far between.
Australia has pretty laid back laws with prostitution: in Melbourne (my city) you can work as a visiting Escort if you have a license.

go to Amsterdam yo. Red Light District. Rows and rows and rows of women, and a good amount of em look slammin' hot. there are also a bunch of fat nasty ones that'll literally grab you and try to pull you in, offering deep discounts.



there's a sweet bar in one of the RDL's called Excalibur. And it was the only place where I heard any metal over there.

Amsterdam is for newbies. It's like the McDonald's of the sex trade. Fast, cheap, easy...and not particularly good. For finer cuisine, go East, young man. Czech Republic, Hungary, Estonia, etc. Play your cards right, you might not even have to pay for the meal.

sorry, i aint about to claim any sort of expertise on the art of da hoe down. crown is all yours.

Thanks! I collect crowns.

Is your name Eli Roth?

Them's fightin' words, sir...

Some years ago I almost paid a hooker for sex. My girlfriend had left me and she had been my first time, so I wanted to, you know, get some more experience.

When I realised I was considering paying for sex it was just incentive to get back on the dating game.

This is a good thread to let you know whose hand not to shake without a glove.

I haven't paid for a hooker, but I have no problem with it. Half my international friends have done it.

Much like the one in which you told us you'd gotten a blowjob in a bar bathroom.

Speaking of which, I went to a bar in Thailand once that was set specifically for that (blowjobs). Ahh the memories.

That's much better and "cooler" than plunking down cash for sex.

Really? Why?

Cause it's harder to get a girl that drunk than to simply pay a hooker off.

Fixed.

Getting a chick to blow you in the bathroom of a bar means that you have gotten her hot & bothered enough that she is willing to overlook the nature of the surroundings (in public, in a nasty place) and suck your cock. With a hooker, you just fork over cash.

Plus the blowjob in the bathroom is prolly sans condom, whereas the hooker only operates with the latex barrier.