Prostitutes - Page 3

Guys trash talking other guys doesn't have the stigma that a big hairy guy picking on a girl has. School in the summertime...

That stigma is based on sexism and condescension. You're telling me that Betehelksiel can go into the woods and murder animals but she can't handle me saying she looks like a reverse centaur? Gimme a fucking break. Join the 21st century, schoolboys.

I guess that's how you were raised. We both know if you verbally attacked a female "IRL" in front of a bunch of guys the way you do here, you'd get your ass handed to you. (Edit: By the guys, douche.) Maybe 1 time in 100 the chick's self-loathing'll get you a restroom hummer, but that's still 99 occurrences of getting your teeth knocked down your throat.

Look. 'Phil,' you're one of my most tenacious trolls on these boards. I admire that single-minded patheticness on your part. But I have no idea what you're talking about. You're saying I would get beat up by a girl? I have no clue. Just stick to sniping at me randomly in threads and scurrying off. You're better at that.

You CRAVE this shit. Go look at what you've contributed today. I'm sorry I have a lower tolerance for your cuntiness, but c'mon. You're THE biggest troll here (not a fat joke). "Chud Squares", "tragic waste of a human being". You crave attention in the worst way. Here it is! Bask in it!

You're such a creepy dude. I sense a meltdown!

Sweet Baby Jesus, how will my herpes ever be cured with all this negative energy going around?

You were too foolish to even come when the stripper gave you the herpes. Stay out of this.

double!

Are you saying people fawn all over me? I see them engaging in discussion with me about the same way they do everyone else. And if I say something contentious, people will argue with me the same as they would with anyone. If you want to claim that I'm fawned over, then you might want to provide specific examples. And then, perhaps, you should consider that it might be that they like me. Seeing as, unlike you, I wield no power around here and they have nothing to gain by fawning over me, unlike people who fawn over you.

In what way are my posts "an opening for a bunch of C-listers to hit on [me]"? Seriously, Devin, I'd like to see some quotes here.

And is the best insult you can come up with is that I'm not as physically attractive as Diva? Really?

Do you even think I'll be offended by that?

Ignore him, Belethedheliel. And show me your tits....

Say what? Now you're just making shit up.
But that centaur gag was funny.

can't we go back to talkin' bout hookers?

I think that is the sweetest thing I've ever seen Devin post. Awwwww! Group hug!

See I get a hooker every now and then. Like mabey once a year. Not because I am desperate for sex, but just to do shit that I wouldnt want to see my girlfriend do. Like bottom of the barrel nasty perverted stuff. I dunno, its like theraputic, and you never have to look a hooker in the eye ya know. Its hard to sit at breakfast with the woman you love after sticking a remote control in her ass the night before. So I am all for prostitutes.

It's the Thomas Paine quote in his sig that makes it awesome.

This thread gets the Buddy Christ Seal of Approval.

It's almost sigworthy. But point of fact is I don't give a shit what Devin thinks of me.

Happy to oblige.

When I was in college, I took a graveyard shift job at a gas station that I would quite quickly find out was ground zero for the Hell's Angels-controlled sex and drug trade in the town. My first night, a hooker who was quite clearly paralyzed down one side of her face came in and asked me if "we could have the same deal she had with the last guy"

"What deal is that?" I asked.

"My trick pays you $20 to rent your bathroom for 15 minutes or so."

I declined, and found out not only that this was the reason the guy before me had been fired, but this very same prostitute had just gotten out of jail for committing armed robbery on this store.

The second, and more disgusting story happened when one of the more truly repugnant hookers had apparently had a good night. This woman, in defiance of all laws of addicition, was probably pushing 3 bills in weight. She did however have the meth addict's complexion, and she was high as a kite when she walked in. She reached into her stretch pants and produced a damp $5 bill, which landed on the counter with an audible "plop."

For what seemed like a good 10 seconds all I could do is look from her bill to her cratered wasteland of a face, over which a smile was starting to spread.

"What exactly do you want me to do with that?" I said, as I tried in vain to back away farther than the cramped kiosk would allow. By now, the smell was hitting me in full force.

"Guess where that came from?" She slurred in what I could only assume she thought was a seductive growl. I was so dumbstruck I could only shake my head. "MY VERGINA!!!" she said with pride.

I politely informed her that there was no fucking way in the fiery bowels of hell that I would ever touch that bill and I asked her to leave. She tucke dthe bill back into her stretch pants and waddled away. I spent the rest of the evening hosing down the counter with every cleaning product I could find and wearling the rubber gloves I usually only put on to clean the bathroom.

So yeah... I guess you could say that after that, working girls are not high on my list of favorite things.

Laugh if you must, but the night before I left for college, a couple friends took me to NYC (We lived right across the river in Jersey City at the time), and we went cruising around by the Lincoln Tunnel until we spotted a (what I recall as) hot blonde in obvious streetwalker attire. They chipped in some cash & I went off w/ her for a blowjob in the back seat of her car. problem was, I had been drinking - a LOT - all night, and was pretty fucking numb. Nothing much happened. But to answer the earlier question posed on this score: YES, they do still get paid.

As an aside, I just this morning discovered this forum, and this thread made me laugh more than anything I've seen on CHUD before, and That's saying something. I gotta come back here. . . .

Yeap - agreed - although I would get a couple of hot oriental call girls and go to town on them!

Breakfast with a Hundred Hookers

So I'm in Kuala Lumpur, it's four in the morning, and I can't get back to sleep.

To hell with it. I shower, dress, and go for a pre-dawn walk. I'm approached by the occasional taxi stuffed with 12-yr-old girls but, since I have no desire to go to either Hell or a Malaysian jail, I pass.

I notice some bright lights down an alley and take a turn to investigate. I come upon an empty open-air restaurant, with counters forming a 90 degree angle and picnic tables filling out the square. I point to some eggs, some cheese, and the coffee pot, put my money down, and take a seat. I'm alone under the stars in the pre-dawn stillness: enjoying the warm, humid breeze; gazing at the stars; and sipping my coffee.

Three young women enter the space. They're dressed in classic bar girl attire, and they're giggling like schoolgirls. In twos and threes, more girls filter in and, as the black sky turns blue and mauve and the birds begin to sing, the restaurant fills with heavily made up, barely dressed girls speaking languages ranging from Russian to Thai to Malay to Chinese to Tagalog. They smoke and laugh, unwinding from a long night's work, and I sit among them, realizing that I'm having breakfast with a hundred hookers.

What a morning.

Great set-up to that story, Frank. A few years ago I had a similar experience, but I was stateside in Las Vegas. I got off work at 4:30am and went to this local dive called Ellis Island (Harmon & Flamingo, roughly) and proceeded to order some biscuits & gravy. Sure enough, as the run began to rise, quite a few ladies of the night began to pour in and order the graveyard special. Quite the breakfast, let me tell you.

If you ever write a book, it HAS to start like that.