Prostitutes - Page 2

Or, that her (and his) standards are just that low.

Hot and bothered doesn't necessarily make a woman think "wow, I really want his penis in my mouth right now."

Which is why his 'wear gloves' remark has such hypocrisy.

Val, please don't piss on my idea of hotness.

I don't understand the argument. Of course a bathroom-blowjob is cooler than having to pay off a prostitute.

You could also argue that drinking water for free out of a public fountain is cooler than having to buy a bottle of fine wine...but I wouldn't necessarily agree. So many variables to consider.

But is the drinking water giving you a free blowjob?

I can't believe that there are folks arguing that a consensual public blowjob is somehow scuzzier than paying for sex. Even if the prostitute is hotter than Chipotle's special sauce, you're still paying for the privelige. You've essentially surrendered to the fact that yes, you lack the ability to get a chick of equal hotness without financial incentive. At least if the blowjob chick is ugly as sin, she's doing it because of you and not your wallet.

What if you kinda, sorta, ostensibly fuck a stripper during a lapdance, does that count?

I wouldn't shake your hand anyway. From the pictures I've seen of you I'd be worried about getting hoof and mouth disease.

There's this whole debate about the fact that marriage, or even having a girlfriend, is more or less paying for sex in a much more subtle way.

I would argue that someone gifting you a bottle of fine wine is even cooler.

But beyond that, your comparison makes no sense. How about a fountain vs a hotel room bottle of Evian that goes for 8 bucks? That's closer to it as far as I can tell, unless you're a sheik and paying 10 grand a night for a girl.

I think you typed 'debate' when you meant to type 'trite stand up comedy routine.'

No, that's like paying for a hotel stay and accidentally getting someone's room service sent to your room. But please elaborate.

I'm at work right now, I'll elaborate on my break in about six minutes (or like an hour and a half). I just got a shit load of paperwork dumped on me.

Okay, here we go. Like a week ago, I'm at a strip club w/ a friend, it's past 11pm and we're just sort of there on a whim to wind down and shoot the shit and so on.
The place is reasonably busy and we're sitting directly below the DJ booth in a relatively shady corner. My friend gets up to get a dance from some girl and I stay seated, make a phone call or two and for the most part just chill out; then "Brooke" comes over.

She's petite, blonde, maybe 22-25 years old, very cute and totally fucking WASTED. She sits on my lap and basically runs off at the mouth for 4-5 minutes with the coherence of Barney Gumble, then she asks if I want a dance.
I was thinking, well this is gong to be terrible because she can barely stand on her own two feet, but again, she was cute, so I said what the hell.
Almost immediately she starts putting her hands down my pants and letting me put my hands on places and my fingers in places where I know they shouldn't be.

At this point, I'm only semi-aroused because I'm nervous as hell, as I said the place is pretty packed and I'm just certain that someone is going to see us and that any second a bouncer is going to run over, snatch me up and beat the living shit out of me.

She whispers what I thought was just more standard stripper dirty talk, until she looks around to make sure no one is looking, pulls my dick out, moves her thong over, puts me in her and starts riding me.

A million things are going through my mind at this point and only #999,999 is: "wow, this is awesome".
I'm weirded out, I'm obviously not wearing a condom (I know for certain I'm not going to orgasm, this situation was just not conducive to that at all, but still), she's drunker than shit so I don't know what she'll do or say after or during this whole thing and I'm still convinced that someone is going to see us.
Thankfully, after about 10 minutes of this, she gets called on stage and I'm in a part of the club where I can reholster so to speak and no one would notice. She asks me to wait for her to come back after she makes her rounds and I say, trying to regather myself at this point, "uh, yeah, sure".

She comes back after like 30min. or something (by the by, while she was on stage, it was clear as day that she was fucking smashed and every sleazebag in the place was trying to get her for a lapdance), she asks me to get her a drink and like a man with no moral fiber whatsoever, w/out any resistance, I buy a tore down drunk stripper even more alcohol to put in her system. She starts asking me if I'm with anyone and I point to my friend across the room who is with another girl, then she asks me: "Do you want to get out of here?"

After a very slight pause the "awesome" that was sitting in the back of my mind at #999,999 jumps to #1, I put on my douchebag cap and say, "absolutely".
I
've already turned this into a sloppy, rushed Penthouse Letter so I'll cut it short by saying that not all was well and the night degenerated from there. After I bared witness to arguments between her and other stripper friends about her wanting to take off early w/ me and them chastising her about management having a policy about not allowing girls to leave with patrons and her crying and cursing on the phone at her *mom* because she refuses to babysit Brooke's *five year old son* again, I gathered my friend, said goodbye to Brooke and just bailed.

There's all this stuff inbetween and particular little moments and things she said that I thought were pretty hilarious, but all in all, that's my kinda, sorta, ostensibly fucked a stripper during a lapdance story.

Welcome to the world of herpes.

You have herpes? Beletheiejwelfjldfj is totally gonna say "I told you so".

She's going to stamp her hoof twice for yes.

Yeah, I'd get to the doctor post-haste.

Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?!

How much time do you have?

No doubt.

I dunno. I think comparing a free fountain to a bottle of wine is a far closer approximation of reality than an overpriced bottle of water to a 10 grand-a-night supermodel or harem girl -- if you know what you're doing. And how is paying for blowjob much different than paying for a haircut? You could cut your own hair, or have a friend do it for free, but most people have no qualms about paying pros for their services. But analogies are usually a waste of time, so I'll stop there.

I'm just all for people doing whatever they want to do without shame or embarrassment so long as they're not hurting anyone.

Well, illegal prostituton does harm people, and not only the hookers.

If they can make a living out of sucking dicks for money they won't move on to something else. They'll just keep being disease spreading checkpoints.

Except with prostitution you're probably hurting someone. In some utopia women get into prostitution because they want to, but that's not this world. I'm technically in favor of prostitution being legal and accepted, but in the current world prostitutes are, 99% of the time, women who have been manipulated, are desperate or are drug addicts. These are people who having sex with you not because they like it or because they've decided it's a better job than working at TGI Fridays but because someone or some circumstance has forced them into that situation. To ignore the deeply exploitative side of prostitution is, to me, sociopathic.

Right, that too.

Also, when you cut a hooker's eye out, she learns kung fu and precision driving and goes on a shooting spree. The cycle of violence doesn't end.

It started.

And you reacted like a 5-year-old

She's never going to actually fuck you*, so stop being Captain Save-A-Ho.

*If you're lucky.

If we can't have intelligent discourse in a thread about prostitute anecdotes, where can we have it?

I had a friend proudly tell me how he fingered a stripper at a club.

He was actually surprised when I told him that he shouldn't be too proud of that and that I wouldn't go around telling people about it.

"When you finger a stripper, you finger every finger that has ever fingered that drink cozy."

Awwwww, really? ... And I was hoping to fly over all the way from South Africa to get me some.

Well at least he didn't fuck her. Because then he would be dicking every finger that fingered that place. And that would be gay.

I see this again and again on the internet - guys stepping up and 'defending' women on message boards. It's sad. She's a big, butchy woman - let her stand up for herself if she wants to come here and be a bitch.

It has a lot less to do with her being a woman, and a lot more to do with you being an asshole.

Do you see it as a result of you attacking women on the internet again and again?

Devin attacks everyone, but it's only the women that are defended. Guys will let other guys get torn up, but if a woman get attacked they call him out for being a dick.

Devin is an equal opportunity dick.

It's not sexist at all, because he has female friends.

Bingo. It's part of the sexism you see out here on the web - celebrity women are bitches or whores but women on boards need big tough men to defend them.

Maybe it's because this thread is in the Sex fourm. Everyone's blood is up when there is a woman present.

They fawn all over her in every thread.

You know, I may say rotten things about Diva and genuinely dislike her, but I have to admire how she's managed to be accepted on this board as just another poster, not someone whose every post is an opening for a bunch of C-listers to hit on her. And she's WAY better looking that Betheeheljkdiel.

...that's not blood.

And by paperwork you meant medical forms?

Blood makes it happen, Alan. Were you asleep in health class?

I thought it was magic.

Boy, am I behind the curve. I had no idea Beletheshyamalan was a she.

My first sexual experience was with a hooker in Turkey when I was 14. With retrospect I now realise she took advantage of what a silly boy I was. But still, best 20 quid I've ever spent. It also wasn't until I had my trousers round my ankles in a not very concealed back alley, that I realised she was a hooker. Naive little idiot. I was just going along with it, because I was to shy and polite to say no. I'd already declined sex but she kept listing things and I just caved in a got a handjob (not even knowing what the hell that was at the time!). Still I only lasted 2 minutes so it was over in a flash and I didn't get caught. Anyway, I'm not adverse to that proffession, but in certain places, countries, there's a definite lack of any moral fibre amongst working girls. You go to some countries and the hookers probably continue working, without protection, even when they have HIV and god know else what. As such when I've partakon,or if I were to partake, in commune with a lady of the night, there's no way I'd go on the cheap end of the market. I believe Amsterdam has establishments that actually ensure that their girls are all clean, which is a good argument for legalisation. If prossies had health benefits etc it would be a safer market to delve into for the gent who wants a quick no strings fuck. In my teens I've got to say I've been a moron, and am lucky I've had no STD's to speak of. Not just involving hookers but generally to.

If someone's being a dick in the way that Devin was, he should be called out for it no matter what the sex of the person, and without kiss-asses like you making his excuses for him. But whatever. I guess you all respect his in-your-face 'tude.

My point was that guys will not come to the defense of other guys. You say they should but they don't. When was the last time you called Devin a dick for attacking a male poster?

And Devin is a dick to a lot of posters but doesn't usually get called on it unless the target is a woman. And a woman that hangs out in the 'SEX' fourm is even more in need of defending apparently.

Devin doesn't need me to defend him and I wasn't really defending him as much as merely pointing out the reactionary nature of most posts aimed at him.