Bad situation with a friend

Why don't you want to talk to the friend?

I'm really sorry dude. That's a fuckin horrible situation. If you don't mind my asking, why don't you want to speak to your friend who's having the kid?

Yeah, I'm not sure which point you want advice on. If it's about your friend then you're going to have to give a little more information about why you don't want to talk to him. Or do you want to talk about your wife not being able to have children? What do the two have to do with each other? Is it just that he's going to have a child with his girlfriend and you and your wife can't?

While I feel for you and your wife in this situation, I don't see how it's any of your friends fault. I'm sure your emotional about this, but taking it out on him seems kind of petty and childish.

I think Jerk 101 is one of the first classes you take in a police academy.

Boo hoo hoo.

Nope, Tazing Minorities 101 and 102 are first, then Jerk 101.

I don't know what you were expecting. I could have been mean and wrote that you were acting petty and childish(less).

No one here is going to sugarcoat it for you. You have one friend left, do you really want to destroy that friendship out of jealousy?

FUCKING ADOPT FOR GOD'S SAKE. THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED PRODUCT DEVELOPED FROM YOUR SEED. It's really getting to the point where when people have babies I think to myself "Well, that's rude."

You can't go wrong with this approach.

Dabaker, even if you and your wife could have a kid naturally, it's going to be expensive anyway (besides the procedure, you have to raise the kid, buy it clothes, food, toys, doctor's visits, get it ready for school, etc.). My advice, save up your cash for about a year or two, get a plan and budget together, and focus on adopting (figure if your wife got pregnant today, you'd still have about 9 months to get all this shit together. Besides, sadly, it's not like there'll be a shortage of kids to adopt a year or two from now). If you and your wife REALLY want to have a child and can deal with all the accompanying stuff that follows, that should be your mantra for the foreseeable future. Also, decide who's going to be home for the little tyke, and who'll be the breadwinner. Fuck nannys or pawning the kid off on your folks - biggest damn problem out there are parents who don't give a shit about their kids and what they're doing.
Also, consider adopting an older kid, not just a baby. By doing that, you eliminate all the attendant baby costs and issues, and shine some light and love into some deserving kid's life.
As to the friends thing - realize your friend has had his whole life change dramatically. I'm assuming he and his GF didn't plan on having a kid so soon, and chances are the relationship is going to crash and burn sooner or later. Use them as an example of what NOT to do. If anything, when the kid arrives, you and your wife can help them out and get some hands on training with a kid at the same time.
The solutions are there, you just have to work on them and be patient. Good luck.

Sometimes drinking brings out a persons true feelings. You're friend just found out he is going to have a baby with a girl he has only been dating for 3 months.

Sounds to me like your friend was trying to get his life in order and then Wham! His new girlfriend drops the pregnancy bombshell. What should he be more concerned with? Your problems or his? Quit being so fucking selfish.

So your friend is trying to console with you(his only friend) about his situation and you're letting your own problems take precedence. Nice. It's not that he doesn't care about your situation it's that you are the only person he trusts or wants to talk to about this.

Well the basic problem here is that when a couple's about to have a kid, they're going to talk about it. A lot. For your wife to get upset every time they talk about it (especially if they're your only friends) is beyond fucking ridiculous.

Sounds like we'll be seeing them on COPS soon, so we'll have a better idea where you're coming from.

Ok, so they're the ones acting selfish. Are we supposed to read your mind and figure out these details for ourselves?

Honestly, I think it has very little to do with you. Try see it from his POV. The guy sounds like he just got his life flushed down the crapper - he's having a kid with someone he's been dating for only 3 months, and from what you said she doesn't sound like much of a catch either. So he needs to vent. A lot. Now here you are telling him that his venting is bothering your wife. He probly just got pissed off and said some stuff he didn't mean.

And yeah, maybe he's not showing you a lot of sympathy. But to him, his problems are urgent. Like... 9 months urgent.

Exactly.

Y'know, that's terrible and all, but adoption is a possibility for you and your wife - it might take a while, but, judging from your screen name, you're fairly young. You've got some time. As for your buddy, assuming abortion or adoption is not something he and his (rather new) girlfriend want to consider, his life just drastically changed in a fairly disturbing way. He's having a kid with a woman he barely knows, and one who's apparently dim-witted enough to not care about the baby's welfare. I can see why he might not consider your wife's unease to be all that pressing in light of that.

Now, if your friend was constantly celebrating a happy, healthy pregnancy with a level-headed woman he loved, you and your wife might have some right to politely ask them to downplay it. But I doubt this guy's celebrating. I can't imagine he's bringing up his problems to rub them in your face. He probably WISHES he had your luck with fertility at the moment.

Oh, yeah. Posting drunk is never an excuse for writing dumb things.

How many times have the four of you gotten together to discuss this in the two week period you've known about it? I mean, two weeks? Of course they're going to want to discuss it with the only two friends they have. One question, though. Does your wife like your friend?

You must force your friends to visit the cracked, scorched wasteland that is your wife's uterus. Maybe they'll finally understand your pain when they're fleeing from a rampaging sandworm.

Arrakis. Dune. Desert Poontang.

Look, your friend is just under major stress. He probably said some things he didn't mean when you brought this up. The same thing you did when you started this thread.

Adopt.

Well, if you have the best interest of your potential future kid at heart, maybe you need to grow up, get some more mature, stable parent-like responsible friends, quit binge drinking.....

Now that's just crazy talk.

You know me. Plumb loco.

I don't want to give you false hope, and I wouldn't pin much on it, but doctors have been known to be wrong - I know of two couples personally who were told they couldn't have kids who did.

Without trying, yet.

Obviously, if being a parent is important to you, I'd start saving for the adoption process right now, but just because a doctor goes "I sez so" doesn't mean it IS so. Of course, the world working the way it does, you'll probably adopt 3 beautiful children and THEN your wife will get knocked up.

Failing all that, you could always steal a kid. And to lure 'em, just erect a swing-set outside your house. Build it and they will come.

Babies are overrated.