Belethedheliel

Jesus, way to cock block. I'm working on it.

Wrong forum. This goes in the Making Me Nauseous forum.

I think "make love" would be more appropriate. Make sweet, sweet, rimjob love.

Careful Patrick, she's armed!

I so hope a banana or two is involved.

And a gerbil. You can go a long way with a gerbil.

Sounds like someone is speaking from personal experience.

I haven't been keeping up, but if Patrick's still, uh, shrinkwrapped, I pray he doesn't blow his load like Forrest Gump the second he touches her. "I'm DIZ-zy."

Good luck!

Patrick's cherry is long gone.

ETA: and, apparently, he didn't have that problem.

A belated congrats, then.

I'm a bit envious of those who get to seduce and bang women online. I've been with my wife so long I would've had to cruise chicks on Usenet to make that happen for me. And who can trust an ASCII drawing?

Indeed. Dolphins and lamas are a must too.

Dolphins, eh?

I don't see how Ripoll has any chance with me around.

But you're not around, are you? Besides, I've got actual, real live men much geographically closer than either one of you. And not all of them are South African.

:::shudder:::

I bet you're first in line to see Zoo at your local theatre.

Silly fool, Bele isn't a dude.

I wouldn't go for it, Patrick, she's just going to be constantly telling you what you're doing wrong.

I don't know, I think he should go for it if she wears her Dr. Addison Montgomery costume from last Halloween. Even Rath can appreciate that.

What the fuck is wrong with South Africans?

They talk funny.

Oh, and they used to oppress black people.

And all their women are incredibly mannish.

Really? And is that a good or a bad thing? I've only met a few South African women, and they mostly quite pretty and feminine. Maybe all the pretty and feminine ones don't live in RSA anymore?

... Or was your sweepingly racist statement mistakenly aimed at me? I'm not South African. I'm not terribly mannish, either, unless you have a vastly different definition of gender than I.

Nothing personal with you, Quarant, just I've had a good run of bad luck with assholes who happened to be South Africans in the last year. I think I'm going back to eastern Europeans. I get along with them much better. Or economists. I have a disproportionate number of good friends who are economists.

Really now?

Exception to the rule.

more exceptions to the rule
Musetta Vander-aka Ms French from Buffy

some models
Minki Van Der Westhuizen

Kerry McGregor

Tanit Phoenix

Georgia Grenville

very mannish

Okay, well, Anya, you try living with a racist, back-stabbingly ambitious, Bible-thumping South African who looks like a man for eighteen months straight and then we'll talk about "very mannish."

That's one. There are 6 here who lack the cock look.

One experience should not equal a broad generalization. Even in jest.

Boy, South Africans sure are touchy about ethnic stereotypes and marginalization. I wonder what that's about.

Anyone white person who lived under apartheid -- like my roommate -- is a tool, including Charlize Theron. And tool is putting it mildly.

Period. End of story.

Also, that Buffy chick does kind of look like a dude. Total butterface.

That's tough man. How do you think about yourself living in the US with all the shit that we do?

Yeah, yeah, stones, glass houses. America's long-standing issues with race relations aside (as well as our foriegn policy and our genocide of the Native Americans), there's a big difference between living in a country that systematically opresses the majority of its citizens and America during the 1980s and 1990s.

In short: All men are tools, but some men are more toolish than others. Could I say tool more?

You're a cock! In fact, you're all cocks!!! I've had it, I'm gonne go oppress someone now.

EDIT: And Rath, if you're actually serious about thinking that we're all cocks and that the majority of our women are mannish then you're probly one of those who also believe that I ride an elephant to work every day.

I'm not even talking about that stuff, which hasn't even been dealt with appropriately. I'm talking about the stuff we're doing now in Iraq, and such.

Charlize Theron was born in 1975. Apartheid ended in the early 90's. How is a 15 year old girl a tool for something she had nothing to do with?

Your statement was dumb and you trying to back it up makes you sound worse.

Ms. French is hot.

Yeah, I'm ashamed that we're in Iraq, and I've said so before. The last eight years will certainly go down on a huge black mark in American history, but I think some of the things we've done domestically have been worse. That being said, while you could make the argument that Jim Crow laws in this country were a form of apartheid, it was nothing compared to what went on in South Africa.

Also, Anya, just because it was on Buffy for thirty minutes doesn't mean it's spank worthy. I would argue that a fifteen-year-old girl should know right from wrong, especially when you consider that South Africa is still feeling the repercussions and lingering resentments on both sides of the apartheid era, much like we are in this country today. (And I'm not even going to get into the fact that you calling me stupid epitomizes glass houses.)

That being said, my statement in general was meant to be humorous and directed towards my housemate and the few other women I have met from South Africa in my line of work -- who all look like men, baby. But mostly my housemate, whom I cannot stand, for reasons listed above.

Anyway, it was a throwaway statement about my housemate that blew up into this whole thing and I think it's worth dropping at this point.

(P.S. My housemate turned off The Departed after fifteen minutes because the language was "atrocious." Surely, we can all get behind the ludicrousness that.)

Can we get back to the fucking?

Everyone knows you guys ride zebras - they eat less and don't take up as much space in the garage.

15 year olds can't vote, have no rights. It wouldn't matter if she knew right from wrong.

Yeah, and I don't know of any fifteen year olds in history who have protested their country's government at all.

Edit: Let's drop it.

That was odd.

Rath randomly hating? Not lately.

Rath: If your housemate is so bad that it's making you become racist against all South Africans, and spewing hate randomly on places like CHUD, maybe you should try getting a new one or moving. Or, you can just presume that my well-intentioned, albeit unsolicited advice in hopes of you being happy is just "telling you what you're doing wrong."

You can't be racist against South Africans. Also, South Africans suck.

I am moving at the end of August, but my job mandates that I live on site. Thankfully, in another month, I will have new roommates -- but I'm still stuck with this woman until then, and as coworker through the remainder of the summer. So I will continue to bitch until then. I very rarely rant about stuff not relating to pop culture here, but she undercut me and overextened her responsiblities all last week, so I'm a little pissed off about that.

Also, did you miss the part where I said it was a joke that got blown out of proportions? I've already extended the olive branch to Quarant and clarified myself.

Your well-intentioned advice would come off a lot better if you weren't so condescending, by the way. It's not just me -- you've been on this kick where anytime someone offers a bit of information that's wrong or you think is misguided, you jump in to correct them. It's irritating, and my snark about it barely constitutes "hating." And I'm actually pretty happy these days, but thanks for your concern.

All of these problems would be cleared up by a simple viewing of LETHAL WEAPON 2.

Lessons learned: all South Africans are evil, Apartheid is an insidious force that needs to be stopped, and Danny Glover is among the top two of three most moist individuals on Earth. Seriously, you could smother a fire with that guy.

I once held a door open for Danny Glover, and I told him "It's an honor to be holding a door open for such a moist individual," and he told me "It's an honor to have a door held open by such a moist individual," or something.

I distinctly remember her saying this.

It's ridiculous that a woman can be that good looking. It's not even a photo from an airbrushed photoshoot - it looks like she's at a press conference or something.

Damn.



What about South Africans?

I think the opportunity just presented itself.