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Getting Personal

post #1 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:38pm
Thread Starter 
Does anyone else find this a little disturbing? I'm reading some of these threads and some of you are getting pretty damn intimate about details of your personal life. I now know that JuddL bangs Kiwi whores. Crow's thinking of being a teacher. Patrick... I like ya, man, but I know way too much about you and I never even met you.
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post #2 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:40pm
My penis has a battery backup and a 5-inch LCD screen.
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post #3 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:43pm
Thread Starter 
You didn't say what kind of battery. Then it would be really personal. Like, JAWS: THE REVENGE personal.
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post #4 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:43pm
Crow's becoming a teacher? Sick!

Criticisms of my tendency to be way more open than I should be are perfectly valid, and noted. I too often post without really thinking about it, which is why I have such a ridiculous post count. I've been trying to work on that one.

Some of the stories in the prostitute page truly have creeped me out (particularly the "got a blowjob by telling her I'd take her back to America with me").

But don't lump Crow in with this. It's important to him, it's not creepy or gross or anything. He's just looking for a little support.
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post #5 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:44pm
I might be two midgets in an overcoat, but I'm not sure.

Does anyone else know two midgets that could help me?
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post #6 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:45pm
Thread Starter 
Oh, I know. And it's cool. I've just learned from bitter experience not to show your hand too much.
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post #7 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:46pm
I think the personal stuff is part of the fun of this community, actually. Almost every time I've met a chewer in the real world they've exceeded expectations. I think part of that is the lack of hiding behind personas. I mean, there are no shortage of people who do, but I don't meet THEM! Personal's fine just so long as the involved parties don't contact me in three years asking me to delete their posts.
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post #8 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:52pm
Thread Starter 
I think it's perfectly okay if people are talking about maybe a new kid on the way or a new job. It builds community. But some of it is a little creepy. And, no offense, but if I have life issues, I'm probably going to share it with family and close friends before I post about it.
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post #9 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:52pm
We should all feel comfortable here to discuss matters going on in our personal lives. What's the point of having a fake name if I can't open up about the real me?
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post #10 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:53pm
The guy who posted about how jealous he was that his friend was having a baby and how he hated him now was pretty amazing, though.
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post #11 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:57pm
I think that may be the last we see of him. That thread was an insight into a rather worrying approach to the internet.
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post #12 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny
I think it's perfectly okay if people are talking about maybe a new kid on the way or a new job. It builds community. But some of it is a little creepy. And, no offense, but if I have life issues, I'm probably going to share it with family and close friends before I post about it.
Well, I agree with that.... and would hope that most people do. But sometimes it's just fun to share a story or get some more advice. Or just have people rip on you.

I like how open everyone is here, although it is a strange situation. Most of my family and friends knows about the site and that I write here so anything I write I know can be seen by people I know, but there's really nothing I wouldn't share in both cases, so it doesn't bother me. I can see people on this board having some 'splaining to do if they get their name googled, though.
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post #13 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:58pm
He seemed like a truly, truly shitty human being.
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post #14 of 62
5/11/07 at 12:59pm
Shitty AND disturbed. I have plenty of excrement hit the fan in my everyday existence, but the last thing that crosses my mind is coming here to smear my selfishness/anger over a public messageboard.
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post #15 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:00pm
Yeah, good thing others were encouraging him to adopt. The world needs more parents like that.
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post #16 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:01pm
Some laundry just shouldn't be aired in front of people you don't know.
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post #17 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:08pm
In retrospect, maybe I should not have admitted to eating my own smegma on a Ritz cracker. It was a lapse in judgement.
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post #18 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
In retrospect, maybe I should not have admitted to eating my own smegma on a Ritz cracker. It was a lapse in judgement.
I was eating a Ritz at the time I read this. Thanks for that.

I'm also one of the guilty ones that was encouraging that guy to adopt. My bad, was trying to help a bit - in his defense, he was typing drunk.
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post #19 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:40pm
That's even worse!
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post #20 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:46pm
I'm lazy...Link it up people!
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post #21 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:48pm
Really fucking lazy. It was the thread under this one. D'oh!
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post #22 of 62
5/11/07 at 1:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
The guy who posted about how jealous he was that his friend was having a baby and how he hated him now was pretty amazing, though.

He tried to retcon his posts by saying he was drunk. Ain't going to work, guy.
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post #23 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
In retrospect, maybe I should not have admitted to eating my own smegma on a Ritz cracker. It was a lapse in judgement.
'Ritz'?...FAR too salty.
Fine for those who are dining 'as and when' (the surface-area of the 'Ritz' is almost TOO perfect), but I prefer to save that shit up and scrape it across a sesame-Rivita; plus those little dimples get to hold hidden nuggets of joy.

Heaven.
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post #24 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
He seemed like a truly, truly shitty human being.
He explained that he couldn't talk to his friend not because he was having a baby, but because the friend doesn't care that he's having problems. What's wrong with that?
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post #25 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:13pm
The friend probably does care, but he is having his own problems at the moment. The guy who posted the thread is just too selfish to realize that. I think he and his wife's problems with conceiving a child is God's way of saying he needs to grow up first.
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post #26 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
He explained that he couldn't talk to his friend not because he was having a baby, but because the friend doesn't care that he's having problems. What's wrong with that?
Why should his friend care about someone who has useless retarded sperm?
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post #27 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:14pm
Well, to be fair, it might not be his sperm. It might be his wife's uninhabitable womb.
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post #28 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello
Well, to be fair, it might not be his sperm. It might be his wife's uninhabitable womb.
Only one way to find out. Let his virile buddy have a whack at it.
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post #29 of 62
5/11/07 at 2:53pm
Every time anyone here shares way too much, I hear it in (The Office's) Creed's voice. Matter of fact, almost chipper. "Ten years ago, I faked my own death, and I now collect social security benefits as my own widow."
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post #30 of 62
5/11/07 at 3:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron
I think he and his wife's problems with conceiving a child is God's way of saying he needs to grow up first.
So when he matures he'll stop shooting blanks?
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post #31 of 62
5/11/07 at 3:51pm
My wife is the one with the problem, she doesn't release eggs on a regular basis. Instead of 12 times a year, it happens maybe once. And why the hell did everyone just assume I was the one with fertility trouble? The doctor said it is more common in women then men. I'm really not as much of a bastard as everyone thinks, I just said some things I didn't really mean.
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post #32 of 62
5/11/07 at 3:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant
So when he matures he'll stop shooting blanks?
Heh, God works in mysterious ways.
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post #33 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
Why should his friend care about someone who has useless retarded sperm?
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post #34 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:15pm
Check out this thread in which some guy asks for personal advice on a body building message board. Absolutely hilarious!
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post #35 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:20pm
Thanks Diva, I feel much better now.
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post #36 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:23pm
Thread Starter 
Worth it for this quote:

"What type of party has 2 guys randomly blowing each other?
This type of party would not happen in North Korea."
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post #37 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dabaker1983
My wife is the one with the problem, she doesn't release eggs on a regular basis. Instead of 12 times a year, it happens maybe once. And why the hell did everyone just assume I was the one with fertility trouble? The doctor said it is more common in women then men. I'm really not as much of a bastard as everyone thinks, I just said some things I didn't really mean.
Yes, describe in detail how useless your wife's Halley's Comet of a womb is, and do it behind her back. That's the way to get everyone on your side.
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post #38 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dabaker1983
My wife is the one with the problem, she doesn't release eggs on a regular basis. Instead of 12 times a year, it happens maybe once. And why the hell did everyone just assume I was the one with fertility trouble? The doctor said it is more common in women then men. I'm really not as much of a bastard as everyone thinks, I just said some things I didn't really mean.
Well, then, you'd better just have sex every day and hope that once a year time works!
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post #39 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny
"What type of party has 2 guys randomly blowing each other?
This type of party would not happen in North Korea."
That's why I chose SOUTH Korea!
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post #40 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:46pm
Thread Starter 
See what I mean? Creepy.
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post #41 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChunkyLover53
Some laundry just shouldn't be aired in front of people you don't know.
And some really should.

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post #42 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:49pm
I could go into a lot more detail but I didn't. I was just explaining what others had speculated about. It's not behind her back either, she knows about the site.
Bel, that is pretty much exactly what her first doctor said.
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post #43 of 62
5/11/07 at 4:57pm
Thread Starter 
Jesus Christ, this was exactly what I was talking about. Don't we have PM's for this kind of thing?
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post #44 of 62
5/11/07 at 5:44pm
"Can open...worms...everywhere..."
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post #45 of 62
5/11/07 at 6:18pm
I'd apologize, but I don't know which part is upsetting you. So I'm sorry for:

Congratulating Patrick on not being a virgin;

mentioning that I'm old;

Making a Usenet joke. A bad one.
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post #46 of 62
5/11/07 at 7:01pm
I'm with you 70'sCinema. I don't understand what the problem is with the post Nordling linked to either.
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post #47 of 62
5/11/07 at 7:02pm
Still, he's a smart guy. I trust him that I fucked up somehow.
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post #48 of 62
5/11/07 at 7:22pm
There's nothing wrong with that post dude. In fact, it's pretty funny.
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post #49 of 62
5/11/07 at 7:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
Check out this thread in which some guy asks for personal advice on a body building message board. Absolutely hilarious!
Quote:
Ok heres what to do

This guy is not gonna be your friend anymore..he doesnt sound too friendly.....you know this best..does he have a safe or hiding place or something like that??

I suggest breaking into his house and stealing the tape when he is not there..If HE IS THERE..here is the back up plan...a little tip I found out...helpful....take a hard bar of soap...place it into a large tube sock..now you have a slapjack..go up behind him and whap!! hit him in the back of the head..knocks him out instantly..steal the tape and wreck and steal other stuff from his place..make it look like a legite robbery....if all else fails kill him...really kill him
I've never laughed so hard in my life.
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post #50 of 62
5/11/07 at 7:45pm
Do YOU have a better plan for that poor, accidentally gay, drunk bodybuilder, Quarant??? I didn't think so.
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