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The Consolidated Whiny Pussy Thread

post #1 of 39
5/15/07 at 6:45pm
Thread Starter 
I just found out...

A) Girlfriend doesn't love me anymore
B) Cat is dead
C) Wife's ovaries don't work
D) Dead cat's ovaries don't work

...and I can't stop...

A) Crying in the shower
B) Making faggy emo mixtapes
C) Gently stroking damp, lifeless fur
D) Blaming alcohol for all the stupid shit I posted here last night

...so I made this thread...

A) Because I want attention from strangers
B) Because I want attention from strangers
C) Because I want attention from strangers
D) Because I want attention from strangers
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post #2 of 39
5/15/07 at 6:53pm
Awesome.
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post #3 of 39
5/15/07 at 6:54pm
I think you should

A) walk away
B) fuck a banana
C) hire a prostitute
D) hate your friends because they can have babies and you cannot.
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post #4 of 39
5/15/07 at 6:54pm
You happen to be talking to the king of awesome faggy emo tapes, sir.
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post #5 of 39
5/15/07 at 6:56pm
I'm sure George Lucas is to blame for something.
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post #6 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:00pm
This thread coming from the guy with the emo "hair in the face" picture= hysterical.
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post #7 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:05pm
Something about Firefly.
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post #8 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:06pm
E) some asian dude wiped his frumunda cheese on my good gym towel.
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post #9 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:06pm
This just about sums it up.
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post #10 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:07pm
My towel has asian nut smell

edit...fuck you guys are fast.
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post #11 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
I just found out...

C) Wife's ovaries don't work

...and I can't stop...

C) Gently stroking damp, lifeless fur

...so I made this thread...

A) Because I want attention from strangers
Something about this combo makes me giggle.
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post #12 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:10pm
my ex is back in town and we've been hanging out but she's made it quite clear in the past that she doesn't want to be more than friends but I still haven't gotten over her yet and she likes my friend and my friend likes her too but they are both too nervous and they don't know if they want to get together what should I do aka how do I trick her into acting the way I want to ok thanks ps I had a few before posting this but I am ok I think
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post #13 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:13pm
Thread Starter 
There's nothing emo about Asian balls.
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post #14 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:14pm
This board has seemed like a show on the WB lately.
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post #15 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll
my ex is back in town and we've been hanging out but she's made it quite clear in the past that she doesn't want to be more than friends but I still haven't gotten over her yet and she likes my friend and my friend likes her too but they are both too nervous and they don't know if they want to get together what should I do aka how do I trick her into acting the way I want to ok thanks ps I had a few before posting this but I am ok I think
Noodz?
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post #16 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:18pm
If you can't tell the brilliance of the Asian balls thread from the serious-personal-issue threads, then may God help you as he recently helped Rev. Falwell.
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post #17 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
There's nothing emo about Asian balls.
I heard that Sense Field's Building was inspired by just that delicate of topics.
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post #18 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:39pm
No but there's somthing Emo about a dead cat's asian balls. AND YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!
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post #19 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:49pm
Especially when you may be eating them for dinner.
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post #20 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:50pm
I like to think most of those threads werent from people seeking attention, but people assuming this board had a community that supports its regularly posting members.

Ironic why this thread was made though.
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post #21 of 39
5/15/07 at 7:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod
I'm sure George Lucas is to blame for something.
Raping the dead cat's kittenhood, maybe?
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post #22 of 39
5/15/07 at 8:07pm
Where's the "I watch every tv show just to come on a message board and complain how bad they are and how they're wasting my life" option?
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post #23 of 39
5/15/07 at 8:39pm
I assume that having gleaming white balls draped over a beloved towel is A-OK. Because Asians are all dirty and strange and coloured and stuff.
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post #24 of 39
5/15/07 at 9:07pm
Did Slater break up with that homeless woman yet?
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post #25 of 39
5/15/07 at 9:19pm
I'm starting an emo band. We're called The Perspiring Asian Balls.
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post #26 of 39
5/15/07 at 9:40pm
Too short for an emo band.

The Perspiring Asian Balls That Took It Upon Themselves To Sully The Blackened Void of My Soul/Towel.
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post #27 of 39
5/15/07 at 10:31pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI
Did Slater break up with that homeless woman yet?
If I acknowledge your sad little existence, will you stop yipping around my ankles in every thread?
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post #28 of 39
5/15/07 at 11:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez
Raping the dead cat's kittenhood, maybe?

There it is. Thanks.
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post #29 of 39
5/15/07 at 11:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
If I acknowledge your sad little existence, will you stop yipping around my ankles in every thread?
He'd just yip around someone else's, dude. Just give him a couple of kicks, he'll learn how to shut up.
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post #30 of 39
5/15/07 at 11:30pm
On a scale of Slater shitting his pants to Rath's brother, where does fucking a banana peel rate? It's got to be pretty up there.
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post #31 of 39
5/16/07 at 12:35am
I would think in a period that's seen Cosmoline, a thread about squirting, and OliveMarie, Rath's brother would be at the low end of that scale. But even I can admit that joke will never get old.
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post #32 of 39
5/16/07 at 12:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
If I acknowledge your sad little existence, will you stop yipping around my ankles in every thread?
I assure you your pants shitting, testicle towelled, tv show whining existense is far sadder and smaller than mine.
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post #33 of 39
5/16/07 at 2:06am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI
I assure you your pants shitting, testicle towelled, tv show whining existense is far sadder and smaller than mine.
And yet I'm the center of your yippy little universe. Sad, that.
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post #34 of 39
5/16/07 at 2:24am
I want to take this thread out behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
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post #35 of 39
5/16/07 at 10:02am
Wait a minute, who fucked a banana peel?
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post #36 of 39
5/16/07 at 11:06am
Charlie Chaplin's shoe.
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post #37 of 39
5/16/07 at 11:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick
Rath's brother.
Explain, please.
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post #38 of 39
5/16/07 at 1:19pm
I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember a time, some years ago, when Rath was not as, um, mellow, as he is now, and got into raging altercations with a number of Chewers. It probably relates to that.

Anyway, I think he apologized a while back and has, quite obviously, moved on.
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post #39 of 39
5/16/07 at 1:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
Wait a minute, who fucked a banana peel?
Ripoll. Which I guess proves he isn't Goldblum.

If so, subject would have become RipoPeel.
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