No more visits from Aunt Flow...

Not that I really want to discuss it, but how is this any different than "the shot" - depo? Ladies, feel free to inform me. Or not.

Oh sweet baby Jesus let it be true... please let it be true...

Well that's just great. Now I have to find a new fetish. Thanks a lot science!

I'm not going anywhere near that pill until it's had a minimum of 5-10 years of follow up research. It's one thing to regulate your cycle on a short-term basis (the pill, patch, Seasonale), but to postpone your cylce for upwards of a year at a time. There's something not right about that.

Ok, I'll discuss it a little. My wife took the shot for something like 5 years. No periods. It had some side-effects and prolonged use was apparently discouraged. It also killed her sex drive which made the lack of a period a total fucking waste. I believe some women have trouble getting pregnant after they quit taking the shot - or maybe it just takes some time to leave one's system.

Any word on whether this will do away with the week of crying/bitching that precedes the red stuff?

That's all I'm looking for. The anti-pms pill. I heard a gun works just as well, though.

Fuck that...

You know who I wish wouldn't visit anymore, my uncle Gary. Way too handsy.

There are already pills that do a "four periods a year" thing, along with depo hormones (shots, subcutaneous implants) that eliminate menstruation for longer time periods. Menstruation isn't necessary if you are not ovulating, and the episodic bleeding that is done on "the pill" is not actually menstruation, it's just a period of hormonal dysregulation that results in bleeding.

Hormonal birth control reduces a woman's fertility should she later decide to have children.

Also, stopping hormonal birth control - either temporarily to mimic menstruation every month or permanently - puts the woman's hormones into a transition (basically they get all out of whack) which may be equivalent to or worse than PMS for a given woman.

Hormones in women vary as to how they affect sex drive, so eliminating the woman's natural hormones by replacing them can change, for some women, her sex drive drastically.

4 periods a year. 4 Niagra-sized periods a year. Forget tampons, bitch, get a bucket.

And once again, the smell draws Ripoll to another thread about menstruation.

He's just like a bear.

Seriously though, these kinds of things freak me out. This would also rob women of their best excuse for acting like bitches with immunity for a few days every month. "I'm sorry honey, it was just my period."

Okay, now, before I begin, let me just say that I really like some of you (Ripoll, I'm looking at you), but, holy shit, where do you get off writing like this? The word "bitch" is getting thrown around in this thread as if it's an acceptable term, as if the lot of you menstruate all of the time and you don't understand what it is these women are complaining about. If your nice, kind, patient wife/girlfriend/sister/etc. suddenly seems to be struggling to keep her emotions in check, this probably means that there's something going on and I would suggest giving her the benefit of the doubt rather than using it as a completely ill-timed occassion to mock her. Let's run down the hit parade, shall we?

First of all, your statement, Patrick, is factually incorrect. Women on hormonal birth control tend, more often than not, to experience lighter periods, if they menstruate at all. This isn't always true, of course. That aside, "bitch, get a bucket?" Are you fucking serious? Was your tact filter turned off when you typed that?

To the next quote - I'm going to guess that your girlfriend/wife has every right to act like a "bitch with immunity" whenever she likes, if you think it's okay to talk about her like that.

Moving on - a gun? A gun?! Pure class, right there, advocating violence against women. I've got nothing else to say to that. Repulsive.

And, finally, if you have a friend or significant other who is that ill for that long prior to her period, it may be wise for her to seek medical or psychological help. Not that I'm a doctor... You should probably refer to my response to the second quote. Could it, perhaps, have something to do with your referring to her behavior (her totally justified behavior, btw) as "crying/bitching" that causes a big part of the problem?

To the legit question that was asked - Here's some info about the Depo shot from Planned Parenthood. The main difference seems to be that many women on Depo still menstruate, whereas the new shot suppresses menstruation altogether.

And I'm with Diva. I've discovered that hormal birth control and I don't get along, but, wow, would I stay far, far away from this stuff.

Oh, and, a little preemptive strike - pms jokes incorporated into any responses to this are trite and unfunny. Plus, you'll prove my point.

... but seriously, it is that time of the month, right?

Bitch needs a bucket. S'all I'm sayin'.

Absolutely not your business. Anyway, it wouldn't really matter. You'd still sound like a jackass, even if I was postmenopausal.

Wow, Patrick. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Well it's either that you're bleeding or that you're just a dumb cunt, and I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt.

If you can't find the humor in this thread you've got issues, lady.

"Dumb cunt?"

Holy proving her point, Batman.

About what? Being a jackass? Never denied that one.

The posts in this thread were all made (very obviously) jokingly, so for her to come in here and act like a stereotypically annoying woman with no sense of humor is just classic.

Let me get this straight: my choices are either a) I am not entitled to an opinion, as I am "on the rag" (or some similar, charming expression) and therefore my point of view is meaningless or b) I am not entitled to an opinion, as I am stupid and am entirely defined by the fact that I have female reproductive organs. Hm. Not much of a choice there. How about this - I found your ignorant, violent, misogynistic spew disgusting and I chose to say something about it. Tragically, for you, this makes me neither a highly suspect, menstruating woman nor does it make me stupid. Even if I was either one of those things, you'd still be creepy.

And, prompted by your suggestion, I decided to review the thread to look for the jokes. No luck. I'll make sure to seek out professional help immediately so I might better understand how hilarious it is when men call me names. I clearly missed an important day in school somewhere in there.

eta: Wait, wait, wait: Calling me a "dumb cunt" was a joke? Hold on...

Nope.

Still not funny.

My girlfriend says you need to loosen up a little. Get off of CHUD and maybe start looking for some feminist messageboards.

Men, don't you realize this is a great day for husbands and a horrible day for comedy writers as you won't have to deal with the "embarassing" (I say that because I figure the ladies have to deal with the same awkwardness if she's goint to get your jock itch meds) moment of buying pads at the store for your lady cuz it's that time.

This is a good day, fellas. This is a good day.

Sorry, fell asleep halfway through the bitchfest. What was your point?

Me wife was on depo for 4 years. That was the worst 4 years of our relationship. I'd much rather her stain the toilet bowl for a few days a month. We use 2000 flushes Blue, and I know what to expect when I see the purple water.

Tell your girlfriend she's a dumb cunt for suggesting it. See how that goes over.

But why would I do that? I think it's pretty funny. Besides, she wasn't acting like a dumb cunt.

For a man that usually makes sense, DaveB, I'm a little disappointed.

So you're saying that my wife was acting like a dumb cunt?

Holy shit, this thread just got awesome.

Oh. Ohhh! It all makes sense now.

Sorry, but yeah, she was. That part wasn't a joke. I really don't want to turn this into a big thing, but yeah, she was. I'd admit it if my girl was too, to be fair.

Why is it that as soon as there's blood and women it all becomes entertaining ?

...

Here, the condensed version of the spiel.

Haven't you read the 19th Amendment? We (being the generous men we are) gave you the right to vote, but you lost the right to complain about PMS jokes. Seriously, climb out from under your husband and read a history book!

Shit, next thing you know, women will think they're people.

Glad I could be of service, Rath. Unless you guys keep going, though, it's about to get un-awesome. I realize that I've overstepped the bounds of what's discussable (for lack of a better non-word) on this board. Context is important and I acknowledge that and this, apparently, was not the right context. I don't take back what I said, but, obviously, this wasn't the best place to get my point heard. I had an important lesson reinforced for me today, though. Thanks for that, fellows.

OH SHIT!!! Alex got faced!

Wow, this thread has turned into a bloodbath. Hachachachacha!

While Patrick's bucket statement was factually incorrect it as well as the other statements made (week-long pms, shooting women, etc) were exaggeration!!!

My wife only bitches for 6 days before her period and shooting her isn't really an option. Well, it is, but legal? Not so much.

This is CHUD... remember? How you took any of that seriously? Beyond me.

Which part was a joke? Just seemed like a bunch of whiny pussy boys complaining about how difficult it is to be a guy when the women you know are experiencing cramping and bleeding for days every month. Be a man and stop bitching; you don't have it too bad.

I don't think MissZooey had any misconceptions that what was said was meant to be taken seriously. It's that, intent aside, it wasn't very funny, therefore it could only be taken seriously. There's a lot of nastiness underlying all of those comments, no matter how funny they were meant to be.

I have nothing to admit. She's smarter than me, and I'm smarter than you. If she's a dumb cunt, you must be some highly devolved strain of killer mutant dumb cunt.

Killer Mutant Dumb Cunt... I think I've heard of those.

Oh yeah,

I've never seen Dave B unleash his claws. My whole world is shaken.

Is it too late to call a truce and never speak of menstruation again?

This is glorious.

Never again?

You know, if I ever got cool enough to start a band, I had decided that I wanted to call it The Joy of Cooking. It has been used before, but, regardless...

I have a new band name now.

TRADEMARKED!

What part of this thread was a joke? Are you being blinded by pussy juices?

Look at all those serious posts! (Jon's was my favorite)

Now I know you've got to stand up for the honor of your wife and all, you don't want her to think less of you as a man, but seriously, let's drop it. You're wrong here. Her words were dripping as much hostility towards men as ours supposedly were towards women, albeit hidden behind jokes. Both of your holier than thou attitudes here are what really is repulsive.

Also, please don't play the intelligence card. You don't know shit about me. I'll give you the reasonable and mature cards to play with, but that's about it.

Okay, one by one...

Holy shit. Bet David Cross is looking over his shoulder, because that... that, my friend, is some comedy. I'm probably going to be repeating that one to my friends later. Good stuff.

Well, these are kind of funny. Notice how they don't have anything negative to say about women? How they're not dripping with contempt? No one got called "bitch?"

Any word on where the humor is in this one? It's observational humor, minus the humor part. Pre-menstrual women are funny.

Well, I can't see how anyone might find that sentiment offensive. Again, this basically says "pre-menstrual women can be difficult" and ups the ante with a "funny" bit of violence. Nice.

Oh, please. I'd have been posting here, anyway, since I have this annoying habit of finding stupid posts and commenting on them. She just got here first. She doesn't need me to defend her honor, although the idea that she needs me to do so says a lot more about how capable you think women are, generally speaking - you might want to stop while you're just a little behind here, Alex.

Okay, where are you seeing that? Her post said nothing about "men." It was all in direct reference to the kind of guy who refers to women as "bitches." It's fucking ridiculous to equate what she was doing to what you were doing.

It's only holier-than-thou if we're being hypocrites. Care to point out what's hypocritical about my posts? If you can find the thread where I (humorously or not) meanspiritedly slam a bunch of people for something they're not able to control, please link.

You just called someone you don't know shit about a "dumb cunt," and you're criticizing me for playing the intelligence card? Please.

Just call it like I see it. She came in here bitching, what do you expect us to do? Put suits and ties on and say sorry ma'am? This is how the boards are. She should know better.

How good the jokes are doesn't change the fact that they were obvious jokes, and not even that mean-spirited. We can all get a lot more mean-spirited than that, as you can see.

I now feel a little silly, because you're probably going to have the best sex of your life tonight because of me. Tonight at dinner:

MissZooey: "Can you believe what that guy said to me?"

DaveB: ""I know, honey. Some people just don't respect women. Especially those Italians."

And she'll sweep the food off the table and start doing him right there. It'll happen.

Unless of course, she's on the rag.

This is the CHUD message board, right? I better make sure. Yep, it is. The cornerstone of this place is inappropriate humor. Or haven't you ever read a post by Slater?

And the idea of something that stops my wife's sex drive cold frightens me, so I probably won't link her up with it.

Problem is there's no way to indicate that someone's being an offensive jackass without coming off as thin-skinned. You're basically saying she should have shut up even though she had something to say. Again, you're not coming off like a rose here, Alex.

But, like I said, most of those weren't even jokes! It's not one of the offensive examples, but how is "Oh sweet baby Jesus let it be true... please let it be true..." a joke by any definition???

As for you getting more mean-spirited, I'm not sure about that. Your intent with the later posts was clearly to offend. The casualness of the earlier misogyny is kind of more fucked up.

I guarantee that, if Slater had posted up above, it would have been funny. Like I said before, if you try to couch something mean-spirited in humor, and it's not funny, you've basically just said something mean-spirited.

If we could only do something about "Tuesday."