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Eeyore needs to kill himself

post #1 of 27
6/2/07 at 11:08am
Thread Starter 
My daughter's watching the new CGI Winnie the Pooh cartoon and Eeyore is a fucking piece of shit depressed prick mule bastard. Guy needs to off himself, stat.
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post #2 of 27
6/2/07 at 11:12am
I never really liked Winnie the Pooh, but Eeyore and Rabbit were always my favorites, even at the tender age of six. There was this one episode/movie/whatever they did where Rabbit adopted a baby bird and got attached to it, and the bird had to fly home, and it was like a pseudo-metaphor for death or something that destroyed me as a kid.
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post #3 of 27
6/2/07 at 11:14am
Tell me about it, you're on a show named pooh and they cast you as the ass? You're the creator, try and crack a smile once in a while.
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post #4 of 27
6/2/07 at 11:17am
Thread Starter 
The philosophy of Pooh is long respected, but Eeyore is that friend who always drags things down. It's time a cinderblock drags him down into the murky depths. Fuck that guy.
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post #5 of 27
6/2/07 at 11:42am
If you hate it now, just imagine how you'll feel on the 500th viewing.
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post #6 of 27
6/2/07 at 12:17pm
Wait, there's a CGI Winnie the Pooh cartoon?

I've felt the same way about Eeyore for many years. Not sure why they still hang out with that guy.
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post #7 of 27
6/2/07 at 12:35pm
It makes Pooh feel better about his "honey" problem.
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post #8 of 27
6/2/07 at 1:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata
It's time a cinderblock drags him down into the murky depths. Fuck that guy.
Ok say you're given a warrant to hand out cinderblock death to one annoying cgi donkey. Do you take out Eeyore or Eddie Murphy?
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post #9 of 27
6/2/07 at 1:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata
Eeyore is a fucking piece of shit depressed prick mule bastard. Guy needs to off himself, stat.
How would you feel if you had a nail shoved in your ass periodically?

For Christmas one year, a friend gave me a stuffed Eeyore, only it had been skinned, and was hanging from my bedroom door by an elaborate noose. The pelt was stapled to my door.

Not sure what kind of holiday spirit he was trying to spread, but seeing EEyore strung up, his raggedy blue skin stapled to my door, made my girlfriend cry.
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post #10 of 27
6/2/07 at 1:51pm
Eeyore is depressed because he's a closeted homosexual. That's why he has a pink ribbon on his tail.
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post #11 of 27
6/2/07 at 3:04pm
Ya see I always though Pooh was the problem. He was such a selfish prick. Everything centered around him and his pursuit of things like honey. He also Bogarted the time with Chris Robin.

Shit, didn't you see the Piglet movie. The whole reason Piglet wandered off and almost hung himself from a tree/joined a circus was because of Pooh and his honey quest. And what does he contribute? He's a fatass with a sugartooth. Oh sure, occasionally he will say something nice...

PS. Might be a slight problem with this circuit city add gyrating about the screen. It blocks access to posting for the duration of its orbit.
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post #12 of 27
6/2/07 at 3:14pm
He's amputee, that would piss anyone off. Not to mention his fat friend, Pooh who gets all the attention and that worthless fag Christopher Robin.

Let's hope they all swallow razor blades.
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post #13 of 27
6/2/07 at 3:38pm
Eeyore read this thread.



Way to go guys. He told you he was hardcore.
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post #14 of 27
6/2/07 at 4:38pm
He's depressed because his tail's not the only thing that's nailed on.
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post #15 of 27
6/2/07 at 9:06pm
Eeyore's a realist, and I'm glad children are exposed to him and his outlook on life. If anyone's a problem it's Piglet, that needy stammering waste of space. Thankfully, there's nothing wrong with Piglet that can't be solved with a nice fire and a sharp stick up the ass.
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post #16 of 27
6/2/07 at 9:51pm
Eeyore just needs some Zoloft and talk therapy.
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post #17 of 27
6/2/07 at 10:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu
There was this one episode/movie/whatever they did where Rabbit adopted a baby bird and got attached to it, and the bird had to fly home, and it was like a pseudo-metaphor for death or something that destroyed me as a kid.
The bird's name was Cassie, and yeah...it was a tough episode.
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post #18 of 27
6/2/07 at 11:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad_Lohan
Eeyore just needs some Zoloft and talk therapy.
Nah, give him some Quietus instead.
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post #19 of 27
6/3/07 at 12:25am
You guys notch up almost 20 posts wailing on the denizens of 100 Acre Wood and no one has yet mentioned that conceited, ADD afflicted cunt Tigger? That's the target of the Zoloft, man, the out of control fucking tiger. What the fuck did the Kangaroo's let that guy hang out with their little kid for anyway? I bet bouncing wasn't the only thing that Tiggers liked to do best.
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post #20 of 27
6/3/07 at 1:09am
He would but how in the fuck could he hold a gun to his head? He's got hooves for christ sake!
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post #21 of 27
6/3/07 at 1:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zollicoffer
Wait, there's a CGI Winnie the Pooh cartoon?
Yes, it's new and it actually looks pretty good. It replaced the puppet version of the show, and it looks much better. Of course, Pooh should be enjoyed in its intended traditional animation form, but still ...

There's also no Christopher Robin in this version, some new girl. Yeah, I watch these, i have 3 kids!
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post #22 of 27
6/3/07 at 4:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica
Of course, Pooh should be enjoyed in its intended traditional book form, but still ...

FIXED, dammit. The best thing my parents ever did raising me was read A.A. Milne aloud and keep those cartoon versions out of the house.
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post #23 of 27
6/3/07 at 4:57am
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Hammerhead again.
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post #24 of 27
6/3/07 at 10:25am
Cartoon Pooh abducted and decapitated book Pooh years ago.
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post #25 of 27
6/3/07 at 11:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shitwinner
I never really liked Winnie the Pooh.
Eeyore is great. His constant refrain of "Thanks for noticing me" always kind of broke my heart. He's hyper-aware that his bum looks ridiculous without his tail, yet he can't keep it attached. If you can't feel sorry for that, than Christopher Robin is probably your hero. The slim, sad bitch of The Hundred Acre Wood.
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post #26 of 27
6/3/07 at 12:32pm
Pooh has an addictive personality. Not to mention his destructive behavior.

Hundred Acre Wood should pan out to be a insane asylum and it's all fabricated by a nutball named Christopher Robin enacting it with stuffed animals that take on the personas of other crazies in the asylum. Kinda like St. Elsewhere.
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post #27 of 27
6/3/07 at 12:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeRobotSex
Hundred Acre Wood should pan out to be a insane asylum and it's all fabricated by a nutball named Christopher Robin enacting it with stuffed animals that take on the personas of other crazies in the asylum. Kinda like St. Elsewhere.
Somewhere, American McGee is lying in bed, mouth agape, doing his best impression of Scatman Crothers.
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