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Funniest Weapon Ever

post #1 of 33
Thread Starter 
Pentagon Confirms It Sought To Build a "Gay" Bomb

Quote:
(CBS 5) BERKELEY A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."

Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviwing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay," explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

"The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform," said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the "gay bomb" idea was quickly dismissed.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

"The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed," he said. "In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider."

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.

Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a "gay bomb" both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

"Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction," said Geoff Kors of Equality California. "So, it's just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And its absurd because there's so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed."
It would be great if you could get someone to ride it on in, like Slim Pickins.
post #2 of 33
"The US Department of Fabulous was reportedly 'bitchy' about not being consulted on the matter."

Holy cow. I love the assumption that making them gay =making them mindless slaves to their cocks. Was it supposed to make them gay, or gay stereotypes from the 1970s?
post #3 of 33
Now I heard from a not very reliable history buff, that the Nazi's experimented along similar lines with sound waves that would turn people gay, but it was abandonned because all it did was strengthen the soldiers bonds and made them more willing to die to protect the rest of the unit. And that a side result of the experiment was that they found a frequency that made people release their bowels.

Fact, Fiction or do I just know alot of creepy dumb people?
post #4 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid
Now I heard from a not very reliable history buff, that the Nazi's experimented along similar lines with sound waves that would turn people gay
Quote:
Originally Posted by myers87
Lazy, myers.
post #5 of 33
I love it when people talk about "The Pentagon" as if it were some kind of monolithic organism, and not just a really big office building.
post #6 of 33
Gives whole new meaning to the term "friendly fire."
post #7 of 33
Hmm... what would the Geneva Convention say?
post #8 of 33
Putin did change his mind about that defence shield awful quick didn't he?
post #9 of 33
Well there was some very strong evidence that Hitler and some of his close friends were either gay or bisexual, and J Edgar Hoover was about as fruity as they come. It does make one wounder about Bush Co.
post #10 of 33
I wounder about you, eenin. I wounder so much.
post #11 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
I wounder about you, eenin. I wounder so much.

but do you wonder as much as I wonder?
post #12 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by eenin
Well there was some very strong evidence that Hitler and some of his close friends were either gay or bisexual, and J Edgar Hoover was about as fruity as they come. It does make one wounder about Bush Co.
Wounder?!? I hardly know her!
post #13 of 33
ahahahaha the fucking myers poster!! It's like a goddamn virus!!
post #14 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid
...a side result of the experiment was that they found a frequency that made people release their bowels.
Now, that's a weapon worth looking into.
post #15 of 33
Now if we can only get this combined with The Nude Bomb.

Armageddon's gonna be a par-TAY!
post #16 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jared Melton
Now, that's a weapon worth looking into.
Another exists already - it's known as the Taco Bell Beef and Potato Burrito.
post #17 of 33
post #18 of 33
This I think was the other plot idea to the Get Smart movie or at least the gay porno version of it.
post #19 of 33
Where's Mel Brooks when you need him.
post #20 of 33
And we have just the plane for the job:

post #21 of 33
I guess it would be a little easier to storm a machine gun nest if the guys inside are taking turns fucking each other up the ass but wouldn't the battle field be fludded with to much cum.And if those great pools of cum were every light a blaze it would be the oil fires in iraq all over again.Doesnt seem worth it to me.
post #22 of 33
post #23 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumteldat
I guess it would be a little easier to storm a machine gun nest if the guys inside are taking turns fucking each other up the ass but wouldn't the battle field be fludded with to much cum.And if those great pools of cum were every light a blaze it would be the oil fires in iraq all over again.Doesnt seem worth it to me.
Strange, I thought they spoke English in Toronto.
post #24 of 33
Since when is cum flammable? I've never heard of protestors throwing Molotov-Cumtails at riot police.
post #25 of 33
I think Rumteldat got confused when they said the soldiers were flaming.
post #26 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerry Martin
Strange, I thought they spoke English in Toronto.
Sorry I guess I just got so excited at the prospect of a gay bomb I didn't type carefully enough to meet the internet standard of excellence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken
Since when is cum flammable? I've never heard of protestors throwing Molotov-Cumtails at riot police.
I'm pretty sure a doctor told me once I should keep my masturbating away from open flames, so I figured that the reason for this was because seamen is flammable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid
I think Rumteldat got confused when they said the soldiers were flaming.
Haha, that gave me a good chuckle.
post #27 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumteldat


I'm pretty sure a doctor told me once I should keep my masturbating away from open flames, so I figured that the reason for this was because seamen is flammable.
Maybe it's because you've got your Kibbles & Bits near something that it shouldn't be near regardless whether or not semen is indeed flammable.
post #28 of 33


Quote:
The highly anticipated follow-up to Gaytanamo, Gay Bomb will take us into the future and the year 2012. George the Second has refused to step down as leader of the “free world,” and the nations of Europe have banded together to fight the new American military dictatorship. Desperate to fend off its attackers, the US launches the experimental “gay bomb,” designed to make the enemy forces drop their guns and turn fag. But the winds of fate blow in a different direction, and soon America is brought to its knees.
Read all the details: "Dark Alley Media Prepares to Drop the Gay Bomb

This is a must-see.
post #29 of 33
Matthias Von Fistenberg? Wow.
post #30 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumteldat
Sorry I guess I just got so excited at the prospect of a gay bomb I didn't type carefully enough to meet the internet standard of excellence.

I'm pretty sure a doctor told me once I should keep my masturbating away from open flames, so I figured that the reason for this was because seamen is flammable.
That should read 'seamen ARE flammable'...Christ, who home-schooled you? Steven Seagal?
post #31 of 33
I must admit this idea was begging to be turned into porn.
post #32 of 33
My girlfriend won't let me eat asparagus, because it makes semen taste....off..

If your cum is flammable, I really don't want to know what you're eating.


As for bowl disruptors:
HTML Code:
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=630842
post #33 of 33
The fucking government is stealing my ideas!
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