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The Ten Commandments of Driving

post #1 of 26
6/19/07 at 4:25pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe....ap/index.html

Quote:
Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
POSTED: 11:36 a.m. EDT, June 19, 2007

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- Got road rage? The Vatican on Tuesday issued a set of "Ten Commandments" for drivers, telling motorists to be charitable to others on the highways, to refrain from drinking and driving, and to pray you make it before you even buckle up.

The "Drivers' Ten Commandments," as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.
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post #2 of 26
6/19/07 at 4:35pm
These idiots should focus less on how we drive and more on how they can start acting responsibly like advising on wearing a condom before sexual relationships.
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post #3 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage
These idiots should focus less on how we drive and more on how they can start acting responsibly like advising on wearing a condom before sexual relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
Just by eliminating Camaros they've done the world a great service.
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post #4 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:05pm
I guess getting a hummer from a teenage hitchhiker is still okay.
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post #5 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:07pm
11. No man shall drive a Volkswagen Bug
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post #6 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:09pm
Quote:
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
Do I get to wear a cape?
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post #7 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guttenberg Fan Club
11. No man shall drive a Volkswagen Bug
12. Nor shall he drive a Volkswagen Cabriolet, unless being already condemned to burn in hell.
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post #8 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:20pm
In keeping with the tradition of the Biblical Commandments, they gave us about 5-6 actual rules with some repetition to stretch it out to a nice, round 10. I guess the Six Commandments just doesn't sound impressive enough for anyone to base their life around, the whole "Word Of The One True God Carved In Stone" thing notwithstanding.
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post #9 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:22pm
12. If Schwartz doesn't repent for his blasphemy, treat his car like the broken bumper car at Six Flags
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post #10 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:27pm
Quote:
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
See ?

The Vatican does not only ignore the gun-totting problem in the streets of the United States, they actively encourage it.
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post #11 of 26
6/19/07 at 5:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guttenberg Fan Club
12. If Schwartz doesn't repent for his blasphemy, treat his car like the broken bumper car at Six Flags
I don't treat it much better, have at it.
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post #12 of 26
6/19/07 at 6:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz
In keeping with the tradition of the Biblical Commandments, they gave us about 5-6 actual rules with some repetition to stretch it out to a nice, round 10. I guess the Six Commandments just doesn't sound impressive enough for anyone to base their life around, the whole "Word Of The One True God Carved In Stone" thing notwithstanding.
The Ten Commandments really only need to be two:

1) Obey Me.
2) Don't be a dick.

Unbelievers can dispense with the first, and second captures much of the Golden Rule (Do unto others...)
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post #13 of 26
6/20/07 at 4:06am
13. Live your life a quarter mile at a time.

Anyway isn't it kind of blasphemous for the Vatican to be doing things like that? Could a chewer with some knowledge of religion answer?
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post #14 of 26
6/20/07 at 4:08am
It's golden if the Vatican officially releases it.
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post #15 of 26
6/20/07 at 4:09am
It's not blasphemous, merely pathetic. But I'm glad he took a firm stance on the families of accident victims. I used to ring their doorbell and run. Now? I see the light, and it is holy ye o lord.
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post #16 of 26
6/20/07 at 4:57am
14. If you are tooted at, raise an enigmatically clenched fist at the offending driver. Works every time.
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post #17 of 26
6/20/07 at 6:04am
15. Thou shalt toot thy horn at any pedestrians in possession of a sweet booty. Catcalling is the responsibility of the passenger riding shotgun.

Amen.
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post #18 of 26
6/20/07 at 11:49am
Thou shalt move out of mine fucking way. Seriously, what art thou doing? Oh come on! Yon light is yellow, don't thee stop! Oh for the sake of fuck.
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post #19 of 26
6/20/07 at 11:56am
Where's the "use your fucking turn signal, asshole!" commandment?
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post #20 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:05pm
Coupled with the "When in the hell are you going to turn off your turn signal, gramps?" commandment.
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post #21 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:11pm
16. Chinese people...what's with your driving? The gas is on the right! You guys know what I'm talking about!
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post #22 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:11pm
Also missed the "Thou should not get in the left lane when driving under the speed limit and there's angry people behind you".
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post #23 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:14pm
I like to imagine most of these as yelled by The Mighty Thor during his morning commute.
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post #24 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:23pm
17. Put. The. Fucking. Cell. Phone. Down.
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post #25 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:31pm
18. Thou shalt not install neon lights or gold mags on thy car. Any mortal being whose hubcaps continue to spin once the car has come to a halt shall be put to death by immediate stoning.
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post #26 of 26
6/20/07 at 12:36pm
Quote:
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together
Kind of the whole problem in the first place.
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