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Thanks for killing me with your non-lethal weapon!

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1811

Police are investigating the firey death of a man who burst into flames after dousing himself in petrol and then being shot with a taser gun.

Officers used the gun after the man had poured gasoline over himself.

Juan Flores Lopez, 47, died on Tuesday at a hospital in Texas.

More follows...

Police initially used pepper spray when they tried to take Lopez into custody. Then they used the Taser. Some stun guns emit an electric spark when they deliver the jolt of electricity.

The Texas Rangers were also investigating whether a lighter that was on the porch could have contributed to the fire.

"We don't know what ignited the fire," police said.

No one else was injured in the confrontation. It was unclear whether Lopez had been charged with anything.

Two of his sons who live nearby said their father had been threatening for months to burn himself and his house. His wife was seeking a divorce and he did not want to have to leave the house, the sons said.

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I love the idea of the cops not knowing what started the fire. You shot him with a sparky thing, idiot!
post #2 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector
I love the idea of the cops not knowing what started the fire. You shot him with a sparky thing, idiot!
"But... but that thing just goes all electrical-like!"
post #3 of 12
Someone call Mythbusters, stat!
post #4 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector,
"We don't know what ignited the fire," police said.
Nope, not a clue. It could have been anything.
post #5 of 12
I'm guessing a level 3 Magic Missile.
post #6 of 12
I'm putting my money on a kid with a magnifying glass. Ants are so passe.
post #7 of 12
It was smart to pepper spray the guy before roasting him. Always let the marinade soak in a bit before grilling.
post #8 of 12
You know what it probably was? Spontaneous Human Combustion. Just, one of those things.
post #9 of 12
Well, it's not like he wasn't planning on burning himself up anyway. Does it still count as suicide if he only does half the work?
post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee
Well, it's not like he wasn't planning on burning himself up anyway. Does it still count as suicide if he only does half the work?
Since he was already trying to kill himself before the cops turned him into a gibbering manikin of flame, how much will the authorities have to cough up for a settlement?

Hundred bucks? Less?
post #11 of 12
The man was robbed of a honorable death, being made the joke of the day at countless messageboards instead.


I say a month's rent for settlement.
post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector,
"We don't know what ignited the fire," police said.
Hemingway, Eichmann, STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND...
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Thanks for killing me with your non-lethal weapon!