I can't believe I got injured getting a lapdance - Page 2

Wisconsin has no state laws regarding exotic dancing - it is all handled on a municipal basis, so you have situations where ranging from Milwaukee which is full alcohol, topless only, no touching, to a Milwaukee suburb which is topless, full alcohol, dancers can do whatever they want to you, to a city about 40 minutes NW that has a fully nude, full alcohol bar, to another place that is fully nude, no alcohol.

And all variations thereof.

Have never been hurt in a strip club but once in highschool they had hired a stripper as entertainment for the school's christmas party and this girl picked me from 400 onlookers and sat me on a chair on the stage. Now I didn't really have mantits like today but still they were a little perky at the time, so it was extremely humiliating when she suddenly pulled my shirt off and the entire room busted into laughter. I could tell on her expression that she knew she had picked the wrong guy and that not even a shiny layer of oil could do anything to help me look just a little attractive, so I quickly rushed down.

I was mentally hurt for a long time after

Crap, that is traumatic. Sorry man.

But where the hell did you go to school, Belle Starr High?

All in the American Heartland, no less. Who'd a thunk it?

We like ta party.

One of the Featured Entertainers (Some porn star; can't remember who) once knocked my beer over at Flashdancers while spinning around on the floor of the stage. Does that count as an injury?

I feel your pain dude.

I used to frequent this place that's owned by an uncle of a friend of mine. I was pretty friendly with some of the strippers, so whenever they did a show they would bring either me or my friend onto the stage, rather than bringing some random stranger from the audience. The first time this happened was with a couple of really hot blondes who were both dressed in cop uniform. They brought on stage, took off my shirt and handcuffed me. Next they bent me over and started whipping me, to everyone's delight. Odd thing was, that they both kept putting their hands down my pants and feeling me up. Anyway, when the music ended they stood me up straight, facing the audience and I'd figured that that's when they'd uncuff me and give me my top back. But instead of that, one of the girls unbuckled my jeans and pulled them down together with my underwear. I was standing there buck naked and handcuffed in front of everyone. All the other strippers, who were watching the show, spontaneously stood up and started howling and clapping - which did kinda help with the embarrassment.

When the show was finally over, I got quite a few compliments from the ladies - which was nice. Also, it turned out that my friend was standing in the back of the room, recording the whole thing on his camera phone - which was not so nice.

In a club in the States, that could get you a beating from the bouncers. Some won't even let you in if you have a cell phone on you. For some reason, they frown on you filming the ladies. . .

When I first started frequenting strip clubs it was right after I turned 21, and my girlfriend at the time had no idea I was going. I was there enough to get to know some of the "features" when they'd come along (I became good enough friends with one of them that when her husband became manager of the club, he actually consulted my buddy and I on a regular basis to ask us what he should change about the club to make it bring in more people). One of the features (either Pandora Peaks or Wendy Whoppers, forgive me for not remembering) was a popular choice there. I'm not into chicks with tits bigger than my head, so I didn't get to know her very well. This pays off for me a few weeks later, as I'm eating lunch at a local Waffle House with my girlfriend, and who should walk in? The "feature" with her manager and another girl. Holy shit, I remembered how glad I was she didn't recognize me just from pure repetition of seeing me at the club.

Jeez, I thought it was bad when I got busted the next morning for having glitter on my face. . . THAT would have really sucked, getting recognized by a HHH porn star while w/ your girlfriend.

Make no mistake, I eventually got busted. Although to this day, I still don't know who ratted me out. I think I have a pretty good idea of who it was, but I never found out for sure. Talk about a fucking busy day--I was co-oping at the time, so I was working from 8 to 5 at Westinghouse, then would hang out with my girlfriend after work until 10 or so, then would hit the strip club until 2-3 (or later) in the morning. Then the cycle started all over again the next day. I used to go into one of the stalls in the bathroom and lay my head against the wall and nap during the day.