There seems to be a delightful shift in Nicolas Cage’s public perception. It was only a short time ago that his name was met with groans. “I wish he’d quit making movies!” “Yeah, if he’s not going to make good movies anymore, why bother. Remember Leaving Las Vegas? Man, he was brilliant.”
But now when Cage becomes attached to something, everyone is really excited. I don’t know if it’s all due to Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans or just The Wicker Man going viral. But he’s something like our generation’s Christopher Lee, cheered on as he drives cars from the bowels of hell, or shoots men because their souls are still dancing.
So, as we prepare ourselves for Drive Angry, The Season of the Witch, and Ghost Rider: The Spirit of Vengeance with the proper B-movie reverence, Cage is busy lining up more work. Heat Vision reports that he’s continuing his Millennium friendship, and has signed onto Simon West’s Medallion.
Cage will play a father with a shady past (he was a former master thief) whose daughter winds up kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a cab. A New York medallion cab, to be precise. He has only a few hours to find her, and a lot of cabs to hunt through.
That’s … that’s it? There’s no ghosts or anything? Huh. I can see why this was once supposed to star Clive Owen or Jason Statham. Well, maybe now that will change with Cage on board. They can bring in some kind of arcane artifact for him to steal. Something that consumes souls or opens portals. I don’t want just any kidnapping movie. I want a Nic Cage kidnapping movie because that means there will be cocaine or cannibals. Get on that, David Guggenheim.
[The image is Brandon Bird's beautiful Nicolas Cage Adventure Set which is exactly how I expect Medallion to be assembled from here on out.]
OH GOOD. ANOTHER NICOLAS CAGE ACTION MOVIE!

8 Responses to “OH GOOD. ANOTHER NICOLAS CAGE ACTION MOVIE!”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.






Aw, fuck. The Nic Cage Adventure Sets are out of stock.
Now, if he lets out that Windtalkers style scream every time he opens an empty cab trunk in this flick, I'm so there. No. Huh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! BOOOMMM!!! PERKOWWW!!
HADIGEH BURN! HADIGEH BURN! HADIGEH BURN!
I've noticed that a lot of the people I know that say "Ugh, oh my God, Nicolas Cage should stop making movies! He's so bad!" are the same people that think that Bruce Campbell is the greatest and should be in EVERYTHING, even though the only things they've seen him in are Sam Raimi movies. Basically, they should just shut the fuck up.
#4 – I have not noticed this. Most people I know who hate Cage, don't even know who Bruce Campbell is. Personally, I like both actors. Yes, Cage's track record is like a vicious roller coaster, but I don't care. I enjoy about half his movies. And a handful of movies he has done, especially Raising Arizona will always grant him my graces.
Season of the Witch looks like a Uwe Boll film, and Cage looks so wrong in the part it's painful. Oh, and #4 is obviously out of touch. It's Nathon Fillion that the fanboy assholes think should be in everything.
"He was once a former master thief?" How did he stop being a former master thief?
Nic Cage should make a movie about a washed-up movie star who suddenly finds himself facing a $14m tax bill and races to appear in every last piece of shit movie going before the banks foreclose on his mansion and huge collection of comic books, with hilarious consequences!