Articles by Patrick Ripoll

A love triangle between a model, her boyfriend, and her photographer turns deadly; then undeadly.

In 1989 HBO debuted Tales From the Crypt, a horror-anthology show with an unprecedented amount of tits, gore, budget, and bad puns. Based on a variety of titles from EC Comics, the episodes ranged from silly to creepy to horrible. And we’re going to review every single one of them.——————————————————                                       [This Entry By John … Continue reading →

Gold-digging! Voodoo! Zombies!

Exhumed strikes again as a new season begins!

Olds and pets!

In 1989 HBO debuted Tales From the Crypt, a horror-anthology show with an unprecedented amount of tits, gore, budget, and bad puns. Based on a variety of titles from EC Comics, the episodes ranged from silly to creepy to horrible. And we’re going to review every single one of them.——————————————————                                       Lover Come Hack To … Continue reading →

Another tale exhumed!

Dig exhumed number three!

Episode 2 exhumed!

Patrick starts you on the journey through every single episode of Tales From The Crypt

By now the cycle of emotions you’re about to go through should be familiar. “This is their best since Pinkerton/Maladroit”. “Some of the songs are pretty good.”  ”That one single was pretty catchy.” “Rivers Cuomo has been awful for years, I don’t know why I always get my hopes up.” This cycle will last anywhere … Continue reading →

What The Fuck Is This Song About? (or WTFITSA, if you’re into clunky acronyms, Miss Kate) is a new game where I post lyrics to a cryptic song and try to decipher what in the holy hell the artist is singing about. You at home can join in with your own guesses. So c’mon, let’s … Continue reading →

Patrick watches black sitcom #2246

“I think half of my life has been spent trying to decide what movie to watch.” – Amanda Tague She has a point. I don’t want to think about how many hours I’ve spent in front of my dvd collection, eyes idly gliding up and down the shelves, trying to find that one perfect movie … Continue reading →

soybomb43: The first black presidentsoybomb43: dances like a white guytails or tague: well.tails or tague: rick astley sings like a black guy.tails or tague: even exchange.

I have a friend who likes Julia Stiles. She said, and I quote “When I was 12, I read this interview with her in some dumb magazine.  And she just seemed really nice.  Someone I would like to be friends with.  Perhaps go on a picnic.”I’m pretty sure she’s the only person in America who likes Julia Stiles, … Continue reading →

WARNING: This blog post features sexually explicit text. Not for the faint of heart.Lately I feel like I haven’t been performing to the height of my intelligence, in most aspects. All my jokes seem to be the kind of rambling non-jokes they cram into Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I even watched Batman ’89 recently, a sure … Continue reading →

There are all sorts of great double features. Not too long ago I had a Teeth & Carrie double feature. “Vaginas Gone Wrong Night”, we called it. You know what isn’t a good double feature? Above the Law and Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theatres. I wasted my Saturday on a film … Continue reading →

There are an awful lot of things that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation gets wrong as a film, but the one that really bugs me the most is that Leatherface looks like Old Greg. But it’s the fact that this bugs me that really bugs me. Being an utter Philistine, my favorite book of … Continue reading →