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  #101  
Old 07-23-2009, 02:12 PM
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The New Cult Canon For: Pootie Tang!
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  #102  
Old 07-23-2009, 03:00 PM
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Awesome. Being the uncouth, uncabled idiot that I was in the 90's, I had no idea who Pootie was before I saw the movie. Nevertheless, I fell in love.

Calling Brain Candy anti comedy is a punishable offense, though.
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  #103  
Old 07-23-2009, 03:43 PM
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No one saw The Onion's Chinese makeover today? Be sure not to miss the videos.
I got http://www.theonion.com/content/grave_error

Oh dear.
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  #104  
Old 07-23-2009, 05:14 PM
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Oh man, did anyone click on the links to the new conglomerate owners? My favorite bit, from the CEO's Biography:

Zuo Xiabing, 53, the foremost innovator of the salvage fishery business paradigm, founded Yu Wan Mei with pure, community-minded motives. Success was immediate and unwavering, becoming only more so following Zuo’s implementation of a revolutionary spine-and-swim-bladder extraction system in 2000, and progressive on-assembly-line labor and delivery protocol in 2002.
Do not be mistaken. Zuo remains a beloved and greatly revered father to each of his 32,000 laborers. He thinks of nothing but triumph and is never occupied with the possibility of failure.
His bloodline is pure.

This had me LOL-ing.
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  #105  
Old 07-24-2009, 01:29 AM
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Calling Brain Candy anti comedy is a punishable offense, though.
I've never understood the apologist movement that's sprung up for that movie since its release. Nobody is a bigger Kids in the Hall fan than I am, but that movie is a dire bit of business. For every moment that works, there are five that sit there and shuffle their feet while uncomfortably looking at the floor. Plus, the trace amounts of Dave Foley don't help. Definitely needed more Foley.

Not that I wouldn't love to see them try again.
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  #106  
Old 07-24-2009, 01:39 AM
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I've never understood the apologist movement that's sprung up for that movie since its release. Nobody is a bigger Kids in the Hall fan than I am, but that movie is a dire bit of business. For every moment that works, there are five that sit there and shuffle their feet while uncomfortably looking at the floor. Plus, the trace amounts of Dave Foley don't help. Definitely needed more Foley.

Not that I wouldn't love to see them try again.
But it's fucking Preston Sturges next to Run, Ronnie, Run.
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  #107  
Old 07-24-2009, 01:48 AM
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I haven't seen that yet, so I'll take your word for it. It is buried in my Netflix queue somewhere, so presumably, I'll know someday.
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  #108  
Old 07-24-2009, 02:52 AM
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I didn't realize I was an apologist, I thought I was just a fan.

Brain Candy doesn't stand with the best of their work, it's true. I enjoyed it when I first saw it in a packed theater with rabid KITH fans, and I've enjoyed it ever since.

To borrow from its MYOF entry, it's far from fiasco. Definitely agree about Foley; it's a shame he basically quit the troop before filming began, and really was only fulfilling contractual duty. I still think it's a worthwhile effort that is more consistently funny than it gets credit for.
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  #109  
Old 07-24-2009, 04:05 AM
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To borrow from its MYOF entry, it's far from fiasco. Definitely agree about Foley; it's a shame he basically quit the troop before filming began, and really was only fulfilling contractual duty. I still think it's a worthwhile effort that is more consistently funny than it gets credit for.
As I understood it, he simply didn't have time to fully commit because he was doing Newsradio at the time. The rest of them were basically unemployed.
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  #110  
Old 07-24-2009, 04:42 PM
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As I understood it, he simply didn't have time to fully commit because he was doing Newsradio at the time. The rest of them were basically unemployed.
That's what I always assumed. I was really just relaying it the way that Rabin talked about it in the MYOF entry.

Not nitpicking, but wasn't McKinney a regular on SNL at that point?
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  #111  
Old 07-29-2009, 02:59 AM
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Hailed by critics as "the most important (video) game of the year!"

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  #112  
Old 08-01-2009, 11:05 PM
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Obama nixes Dragon Tank
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  #113  
Old 08-30-2009, 09:36 PM
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Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta

GODDAMN I love The Onion.
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  #114  
Old 08-30-2009, 09:44 PM
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'Would have made destroying enemies "Efficient, and awesome."'

LOVE this story. The diagram they initially show is so great.
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  #115  
Old 09-04-2009, 04:43 PM
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One small step for The Onion, one giant leap backward for journalism
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  #116  
Old 09-06-2009, 09:02 PM
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"Study: 74% Of Children Tenting Out In Yard Don't Make It Through The Night"

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...en_tenting_out

Beautiful!
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  #117  
Old 09-07-2009, 12:33 AM
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Lisa! Where the hell have you been?
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  #118  
Old 09-07-2009, 06:29 AM
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"Solitary Crow On Fence Post Portending Doom, Analysts Warn" never fails to make me chuckle.

That crow certainly knows what's going down, and it's us.
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  #119  
Old 09-07-2009, 11:21 AM
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We could use griffons, but we don't use griffons, and that is the point.
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  #120  
Old 09-09-2009, 12:51 PM
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"I Don't Need Drugs To Have A Good Time And Jump Through A Plate-Glass Window Into A Pool 15 Stories Below."
http://www.theonion.com/content/opin...urce=b-section
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  #121  
Old 09-09-2009, 01:51 PM
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It's old, but so applicable...

Unwatched Netflix DVD Stares At Area Man With Single Unblinking Eye


http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41460
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  #122  
Old 09-23-2009, 05:53 AM
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Nadir Of Western Civilization To Be Reached This Friday At 3:32 P.M.

Doomed!
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  #123  
Old 09-23-2009, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by The Onion
Most chillingly, many agreed, is that while Michael Crichton's death has been a positive step, Dan Brown remains very much alive.
This is one of the greatest sentences of the year.
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  #124  
Old 09-25-2009, 11:03 AM
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http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section

We always knew they were there.

Also this: http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...ion_technology
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  #125  
Old 09-27-2009, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Darth Chocula View Post
"Solitary Crow On Fence Post Portending Doom, Analysts Warn" never fails to make me chuckle.

That crow certainly knows what's going down, and it's us.
"Look, the crow is already upon us, and we can't undo that,"
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  #126  
Old 09-30-2009, 05:16 AM
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Nation Demands Fresh Celebrity Meat

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Ideally, ravenous sources said, the new celebrity should be under the age of 6, so that he or she can be slowly and fully devoured, much like what has been called the "perfect storm" of celebrity self-destruction: the life of Michael Jackson.

"Forced into fame by an abusive father, robbed of his childhood by a greedy public, and then ascending to superstar status, acquiring huge sums of money and even greater debt, growing progressively more and more insane, getting indicted for child molestation, and eventually dying of a heart attack brought on by massive doses of half a dozen different prescription drugs, followed by a hypocritical backswing into near deification after his death, Michael Jackson was a most delicious and bountiful feast."
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  #127  
Old 10-07-2009, 03:26 PM
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You just know some of the Tea Partiers are going to take this as gospel:

"Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed"
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I like The Lost Boys, I'll admit. Soundtrack. Patric. Keifer on antlers. A Billy Wirth listening station. Great. I Wiest my case.
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  #128  
Old 10-07-2009, 03:44 PM
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Man Not Belonging To Movie's Target Demographic Escorted out of Theater by Hollywood Officials
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  #129  
Old 10-07-2009, 07:38 PM
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This thread is lacking the best thing about The Onion: Kelly cartoons.







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  #130  
Old 10-07-2009, 09:23 PM
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  #131  
Old 10-07-2009, 11:36 PM
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New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'
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  #132  
Old 10-30-2009, 03:18 PM
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Group of Popular Girls Reduces Nation to Tears
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I like The Lost Boys, I'll admit. Soundtrack. Patric. Keifer on antlers. A Billy Wirth listening station. Great. I Wiest my case.
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  #133  
Old 10-31-2009, 08:40 AM
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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla
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  #134  
Old 10-31-2009, 10:03 AM
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Obama's Declaration Of Swine Flu Emergency Prompts Pro-Swine-Flu Republican Response

They've been on a roll lately. I kinda like the more caustic bits they throw in here and there.
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  #135  
Old 10-31-2009, 01:02 PM
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http://www.theonion.com/content/news...king_age_to_17

I already posted this one, but I love it so.
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  #136  
Old 10-31-2009, 01:02 PM
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Reminiscent of one of the all-time classics: from Profiles in Fear
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  #137  
Old 11-02-2009, 08:21 PM
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  #138  
Old 11-02-2009, 09:11 PM
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Just when I thought the joke had worn itself out, that woman's delivery pushed it all the way back past "funny" to "hysterical".
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  #139  
Old 11-02-2009, 09:40 PM
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Just when I thought the joke had worn itself out, that woman's delivery pushed it all the way back past "funny" to "hysterical".
From the crawl in that video:

White House reluctantly accepts collect call from Indonesia

Haagen-Daz releases new line of ice creams for barren women

These guys aren't fucking around any more.
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  #140  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:09 PM
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http://www.theonion.com/content/from...istake_of_life
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  #141  
Old 11-09-2009, 10:09 PM
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I cannot believe this didn't get a nod from Chewers already.
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  #142  
Old 11-12-2009, 02:24 PM
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Nation Applauds
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  #143  
Old 11-14-2009, 10:41 PM
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