
Battlestar Galactica, the brilliant reimagining of the cheesy old TV show, has fought tooth and nail to get to where it is, a fourth season where all of the stories can be wrapped up – and even still, we’re hoping that the soon to be ending writer’s strike hasn’t royally fucked that up. This show is amazing – not just for a science fiction show, but as a television show, period. And yet Battlestar, which has terrific, smart scripts and excellent actors, struggles to stay alive while Stargate Atlantis saunters into its fifth season.
Seriously, what’s wrong with the world of genre television?
I know, judging by the numbers, that there are people reading this who watch Stargate and not Battlestar, and I hate them. It’s one thing to be so caught up in a genre that you support every offering in it, but it’s another to watch poorly made garbage like Stargate and its spinoffs while ignoring a ballsy, often incredible TV show. Hell, it looks like Stargate Atlantis may well last more episodes than Angel, another genre show that was about a thousand times better than this tripe.
I’ve sort of grown used to getting recommendations from people to watch truly hideous genre TV – so many people told me to give Farscape a shot that I did, until I realized it was a show about a spaceman and some fucking Muppets. How someone who has outgrown soiling their pants on a regular basis could plop themselves in front of a show about a spaceman and some fucking Muppets is beyond me. I watched four episodes of this crap, and the idea of plowing through any more gave me the shakes. Then there’s Babylon 5, the TV show for people who felt their addiction to Star Trek wasn’t socially marginalizing them enough. I also understand that there’s a spinoff show from Dr. Who where people have a lot of sex or something; I’m too busy severing my cable TV connection to check that one out.
And these are just the niche genre shows. Heroes, of course, continues to draw in millions of thinking-impaired viewers, and it seems like every TV season brings a new batch of crummy genre shows. The good news is that junk like Moonlight and Amsterdam probably can’t compete in the network world – it’s only the SciFi Channel’s soft expectations that has allowed some 700 episodes of Stargate related television to be produced. I’m curious to see if the highly repetitious and bad Terminator series can hack it on Fox.
Again, I understand that there is a segment of the nerd population who wants to support all genre related efforts, but you’re not helping anybody by making Stargate a success. The actors on these shows are only having their hopes raised – when their time is over they’ll be getting no more roles and will live off the money they earn by signing autographs at local cons. The SciFi Channel sees that it’s easier and more profitable to make junk rather than spend the time and money on nurturing something like Battlestar. And by watching Stargate you’re pretty much closing yourself off from vagina. The time has come to turn your backs on this crap and to demand that genre shows be good, and not just settle for genre shows that have puppets or people in shitty latex nose bridges. SciFi Channel, I implore you to shut this Stargate down.





26 comments
Stargate Atlantis is awful. All the shitiness of Stargate: SG1 without the redeeming MacGyver.
But Farscape rocks. What the fuck do you have against Muppets?
I watched the first season of the original Stargate and gave up. "Gee, another planet that looks a lot like a forest in British Columbia." I got sick of that, but I kept hearing good things, so I thought I'd give Atlantis a shot – thinking that they would knock it out of the park with the new one. I barely made it through the pilot. Dreadful show. I'd rather re-watch the Aquaman pilot given a choice.
However, I must disagree on Farscape. I took me a long time to get past the Muppets too, but eventually you get caught up in the plot and characters.
Atlantis geot another season because it's cheaper to make. Battlestar does better in the ratings, but the drop off in viewers from the mini-series to Razor is staggering. From a high of 3.8 to 1.2 market share. At least Sci-Fi gave them another season to wrap up the storyline and I'd rather the series end strong than be dragged along like X-Files.
Totally agree with your Battlestar love. I've successfully converted all my friends who watch genre shows as well. Of course I can't even get my wife to sit through a whole episode. At least she like Firefly.
I actually like the Terminator series. Mostly. Last episode kinda got on my nerves.
I never understood how on SG-1 and Atlantis, they've visited countless planets and anything with a forest looks exactly the same and anything in a desert looks exactly the same…and…oh wait…I don't think there are any other environments except other sets. Shit man, even Enterprise had different shit on each planet.
This is where your juvenille antics get out of hand. Atlantis and BSG have some crossover fans, but you throw those fans under bus. When you go on and on and on about how stupid everyone is for liking something that remains somewhat profitable for freakin NBCU.
Stop basing everyone's intelligence on such a ridiculous level. You know it's ridiculous. You know it's schtick. Be real for fucking once Devin, and let's see what we get from your TV criticism.
Wow, this totally needed to be written about. I'm glad that Devin, a person so clearly sexier, smarter, and all round better than every other person on Earth, is here to offer us this meaningful and deep analysis. He will truly be regarded as the greatest thinker of his time. The sad part is that I agree with you that Stargate is a shitty show. I just don't know why you have such an inflated sense of self as to believe anyone cares about some greasy bear's opinion on the matter.
Terminator and the Stargate series have 3 things in common. They've ALL featured the 3 hot chicks from Firefly, hence I'll tune in to watch them shake their relevant bits each week…
…as for intelligent genre Television, Battlestar has that in the Bag, Lost, Heroes and all other crap we get thrown isn't fit to sit on the same DVD shelf…
Problem you'll always have with Battlestar (and similar shows) is unless it has a "catchy" title like "Lost" or "Heroes" or "Abyss" or "Below" or "Found" then you're not going to draw in mainstream viewers because it SOUNDS like something your 28 yearold obese single friend who plays PS1 all day 'cause that's the "true" gaming platform would watch…
If it features spaceships or too much photoshopped lens-flares and shit on the commercials instead of some grungey emo-esque kids in a city-scape mainstream will say "oh, it's for the trek-geeks"
Unless it's got an acceptable "bag" people aint gonna pick it up.
Battlestar = Nerdery…
No matter how awesome the content is, people will always judge the book by it's cover.
ESPECIALLY if it's the sci-fi channel that is pushing it…and playing it AFTER unwatchable crap like Atlantis…
Galatica suffers because of everything around it, not because of the sum of it's parts…
Agreed on everything but Babylon 5. It sounds like you never gave it a chance, but I highly recommend it. Try to ignore the weak first season and go right for the second, when the main plot really gets going. It's one of the few shows where characters actually go through massive yet realistic changes, a continuous plot that was previously planned goes more epic than any other show I've ever seen, and the physics actually make some sense. Harlan Ellison was creative consultant, and it shows. And like BSG, it also struggled each season to get renewed, while Deep Space 9 ripped it off wholly with the Cardassian War and got massive ratings. So yeah, I suppose I'm socially marginalized (something of a poor insult in a column glorifying good genre TV), but I don't mind because I can enjoy the best science fiction show yet. We'll see how Battlestar ends, and maybe it'll top it.
What they said.
Look, man, I totally agree with you on Stargate, and it sucks, and BSG is so much better, it's all true…
…but to then go and fart on Farscape and Babylon 5? After freely admitting you've seen like 5% of one show and I'm guessing none of the other? Yes, Farscape has Muppets, and trust me when I tell you that Babylon 5 has far more serious problems to worry about than that, but they're still two of the best genre shows I've ever seen. They're worth it.
You have integrity, Devin, and I respect you for that. Don't do this kind of shit 'cause you don't need it.
Yes, Stargate sucks, and it's popularity shows that the sci-fi fanbase really needs to get some standards (well, that and the popularity of shitty anime). Still, I liked Babylon 5 — lousy writing and everything — on a Star Wars level: that is, fun but lightweight space opera. I can say the same for Farscape, at least for its first season before the writers tried to pretend they were serious writers. I don't watch Battlestar, mostly because it is repetitive in plot and often dips into melodrama, and it takes itself way too seriously even though the poor writing doesn't justify the tone. I'm not sure what qualifies as good sci-fi in your book, but I wouldn't hold Battlestar up as the example to follow.
I agree with you about the Stargate series, but you're wrong about Farscape. Yeah, they used muppets in place of people with face prosthetics for some characters, but I'd rather them have used that then insert some shitty SciFi movie of the week CGI. You missed out on a good show.
What do you have against Spacemen and Muppets? I thought Star War was great!
I totally agree with your main rant, and it's one that needs to be ranted more often… but dude, why do people keep using that "muppets" line as if it's a viable argument against FARSCAPE? It was a downright brilliant show once it got running (once Scorpius was introduced, the show was really firing on all cylinders). If it weren't a Jim Henson company, would you care? What's wrong with muppets? Would you prefer crappy CGI aliens? Do you hate Star Wars? Do you hate muppets? None of these answers should be yes!
I guess I'm one of the few that really enjoys both Atlantis and Battlestar. I watch Stargate because they are 50% humor and 50% action… and that's it. It's fun to watch a series that doesn't try to be so damn serious. Now Battlestar does a wonderful job of being gritty, real, and serious AND doing it in the Sci-Fi realm. It's too bad that Battlestar will be leaving, but here's to 5 more years of Atlantis!
Gee, I always thought Battlestar was a crappy, over hyped, bitch fest featuring zero fun. Oh well, it's being cancelled, so at least one piece of sh*t show will finally be off the air!
Hell, Dev – you write about this as if it's a new thing. "Idiocracy" succinctly puts a bow on television viewing by the masses since the box began.
Roast em', Devin. There should be a network that carries 'Stargate' and 'Farscape' with the the tagline: FOR MEN WHO HAVE NEVER FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN…
'Firefly' leaves them all with penis-envy.
More tips on "gettin' some" please Devin! What else shouldn't we watch if we want to be a 'magnet like you?
Devin is such a f*cking putz.
Your anger is boring. Who gives a shit?
Did someone call Devin a Greasy Bear? lolz.
Not that I disagree, I've never bothered to watch Stargate (past the movie).
A bunch of people told me 'how super-great' the Stargate show was, and I finally broke down and watched it and really felt it was a mix of Xena (minus the humor) and Star Trek TNG (only without the prime directive or f*cking awesome Picard). I really had a hard time getting through the whole first season. I really don't think it is a quality show. It's not a Buffy, Angel or Firefly. Heck it's right about at the same place as Seaquest (which I recently re-watched drunk the other day and let me tell you that dolphin is fifty times funnier drunk). Personally I feel any show I have to 'fire up' for is really not relevant for more than two seasons, if one. Don't get all offended, because by calling something a poor show, it isn't saying you've got bad taste (which you might) but is simply saying it's not as good as a show as it should be or could be. It's not like Sci-fi hasn't made great shows and Stargate is the best they can do…it's that we know with Battlestar Galatica they have a superb show and they still choose to crap…as to the whole Muppets thing…that's between you and your god.
This from the man who loves "V"…
As for the only watchable genre-TV in the last 15 years or so:
Angel > Buffy > Farscape > Babylon 5 > > >Battlestar Galactica > Firefly
And pretty much everything else is shit.
I can't understand why everyone is so down on Terminator. Sure it has no where near the social/spiritual commentary of BSG or whimsy of Firefly, and yes they may have rewritten the "mythology" a little (a bullshit argument when time travel is involved) but considering they pull off a damn better episode than many other shows (later-half of BSG Season 3 included), let it go!
As for Stargate, I would rather let Tom Cruise treat my hemorrhoids than watch that shit again.
SGA is the best show on TV!! SG-1 was great as well!! B5 is an all-time classic!! BSG is awesome of course. But not everything has to be that heavy. SGA has a great mix of action, humor and cool science fictiony ideas. I'm extremely pleased it is coming back for season 5. Also, Torchwood (the Doctor Who spin-off) is a pretty cool show too. And I still miss Farscape! My nomination for worst sci-fi show to last 5 years: Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda.
Only people who watch Stargate and its derriatives are retarded nerds who never get out mom's basement. (and there is population of that ) Aside from poor acting and writing , all Stargate cr..p is repretitive and rips everything from old Star Trek episodes. But it only shows the how deep Sci-Fi standarts and its audience sunk….Not long ago there used to be good , dramaticly written authenticly created sci-fi productions like Farscape , Babylon 5. Battlestar Galactica. Unfortunetely standart sci-fi audience wishes simple things with idiotic escapism…
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