I think the title of this piece will only make sense to you if you’ve ever been to a protest where they chanted ‘This is what democracy looks like.’ So like seven of you will grok that. For the rest of you, it’s a totally awesome title and not just straight forward, like it seems.
Anyway, Hasbro has released images of their HUNDRED DOLLAR Cloverfield monster toy, and despite the price tag none of the images show the toy to have Dick Sucking Action. Here is a list of what the toy does have, though:
- 70 points of articulation and incredible life-like detail
- Authentic sound
- 14″ tall
- 10 parasites
- Two interchangeable heads
- Statue of Liberty head accessory
- Special Cloverfield collector’s edition packaging
If you assume each point of articulation is worth a buck, maybe you can rationalize the fact that you’re spending ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS on a toy.
The images do really take away the mystique of the monster, which surprised me – I thought the beast had been completely spoiled by the two very long shots of it at the end of the film. Turns out that the monster in action looks quite different from the monster in plastic. The difference, it seems, is that the plastic monster looks silly (he’s got such big cute ears!). But don’t take my word for it, judge for yourself! And click here to order it. Hey, you know what you’ll find if you look up conspicuous consumerism in the dictionary?
27 comments
It doesnt ship until September!?
Ears? I see no ears on Clovey… Am I seeing the same pictures you did? And by the way, what do you "find if you look up conspicuous consumerism in the dictionary"? I think thats supposed to be a dig on the folks that would buy this, I love the non-judgmental attitude on display here.
That's a pretty horrible toy for $30, much less $100.
Wow… that looks really lame in the light of day. Maybe if I shake my monitor a lot it'll look more like it did in the film.
So it's a giant mutant bat, then?
I would have sworn he was green not white…
The sad thing is that this toy will probably be pre-sold out.
The sadder thing is that in two years, someone will put that thing up on eBay for 200 dollars.
The saddest thing is that there will be someone who will pay 400 dollars. And he'll be happy. And he will boast about it on a forum.
No, you say? Well, go around looking at actual "wow, I got Harrison's Ford autograph for a bargain $450!" or "finally bought the Japanese Indiana Jones figure! and for only 900 with shipping!"
With Abrams's hype machine, the mediocrity of "Cloverfield" will become a hot franchise for years, too…
This is not conspicuous consumerism, Devin. This will not be displayed; it is an object of profound shame that will be hidden when the exterminator comes over. In the closet. Under my black sweatshirt. Between the 1/6 scale S-Mart Ash and Han Solo dolls.
Chicken toes?!?!?!?
I love how absolutely necessary it was for you to explain how awesome your title was, Devin! Wow! Great job! You sure are smart!
"I think the title of this piece will only make sense to you if you've ever been to a protest where they chanted 'This is what democracy looks like.' So like seven of you will grok that. For the rest of you, it's a totally awesome title and not just straight forward, like it seems."
Edgy! Please notice that I am indeed, edgy!
Hey, Dev.. Big fan. I can't believe it, but I understood the title of this piece. Yeah, me!!!
Hmmm… I think someone on the Cloverfield staff has been watching the British TV show Primeval. This has an uncanny resemblance to the "future predator" from the show.
…and here i was thinking it was an exclusive look at the upcoming Descent: Family Reunion
of fuck!! it's face was on the first page!!! Haven't seen the movie yet…fuck fuck fuck…my ass got spoiled. Hard. fuck fuck fuck..
Anyway, Hasbro has released images of their HUNDRED DOLLAR Cloverfield monster toy, and despite the price tag none of the images show the toy to have Dick Sucking Action.
greatest thign i have ever heard in my life
Wow… Looks a bit like a Dark Overlord of the Universe… From that weird duck movie… Oh yeah Howard the Duck! Lucas should sue.
Here's what it really looks like (the above is just an unpainted prototype)
http://tf08.figures.com/showgallery.php?thumbsonly=0&perpage=90&cat=643&ppuser=&thumbcheck=0&page=1&sortby=&sorttime=&way=&date=
who gives a shit about the model of the monster in cloverfield…I WANT TO SEE THE MODEL OF Odette Yustman IN CLOVERFIELD….with removable clothes and life-like pubic hair of course
Way to spoil the movie fucktard!* Not all of us live in the US, you big douche.
*not that I think it will be great, but I cherish the few surprises I can get from film nowadays.
I think I saw this monster in a 1975 episode of 'Doctor Who'.
For $100 it better be a 1:1 scale toy.
Is it me, or does it look like a giant mutant mouse? It's those ears. They're just so… mousey.
You clicked on a story titled "This Is What The Cloverfield Monster Looks Like" and are upset to find a picture of what the Cloverfield monster looks like?
Never reproduce.
Or, he might have clicked on the picture of the monster's face at the top of the homepage…
i thought what made the monster interesting was that you couldn't really see what its anatomy was really like. the long shot at the end ruins it, but this simplifies it to the point where it looks like the latest todd macfarlane brainfart.
Its a cross between the "rancor" from "return of the jedi" and a bat with its ears rolled up and no stretchy membrane for flight. Add on a fishy tail and some marsupial features. Nice.
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