I’ve resisted jumping into the Fanboys fray because a) I’ve only seen Kyle Newman’s cut of the movie*, b) he’s been nothing but cool to me, and c) I hate writing about anything even tangentially related to Star Wars. Furthermore, I could care less about Superhero Movie‘s financial fortunes, so if the (literally) unwashed Star Wars masses (there’s that fence board again) want to boycott the movie, let ’em get out of the house for once. Like they were ever going to pay to see it or any other movie this weekend.
But when the mental defectives clamoring for their preferred cut of Fanboys balked at The Weinstein Company’s promise to release both versions to DVD, I remembered how delusional these fuckers could be and decided that Harvey – whom I’ve lambasted plenty in the past – was the aggrieved party in this conflict. And since I can’t recall a single Star Wars fan rushing to Terry Zwigoff’s defense when his minor masterpiece, Bad Santa, was getting hacked up and re-shot by Todd Phillips, I’ve also decided to go out and buy a ticket for Superhero Movie this weekend out of spite.
Sounds needlessly masochistic, no? Well, if even a portion of the below scene is in the film, it’s already funnier than Fanboys.
I can’t believe I’m laughing at a crazy Tom Cruise gag in 2008, but that’s a frighteningly spot-on impression. Time to hand over the Cruise crown, Stiller.
One more thing: if you uncultured little shits even think about boycotting My Blueberry Nights, I’ve got somethin’ for ya.
*Which I’m not even sure exists anymore, since Scott Mosier subsequently tweaked that version (with Newman’s approval).
19 comments
I was under the impression that they just cut Bad Santa–that there weren't reshoots. Incorrect? They change the ending or some such?
Wow, that was *disturbingly* funny. If the whole movie promised that caliber of material, I might actually drag myself out of my palatial estate and slap down some hard earned green on that puppy.
elijah: There were re-shoots. I know for certain that the boxing scene was an Armstrong/Phillips addition. I can't remember what else they added, but all they did was broaden the comedy and soften the sting of the really mean shit. The "Director's Cut" of BAD SANTA is the only one that counts for me (and I'm not even sure if that's as undiluted as the version I saw in January '03).
Is My Blueberry Nights actually good? I haven't heard anything that would suggest that it belongs alongside side Wong Kar-Wai's other flicks.
No, it is not actually good. But if you are a WKW fan, you should see it if only to understand why he should never make another english-language film again. Also the acting really sucks.
I never knew that about Bad Santa. I love that movie more than life itself. Who do I have to kill to get an original, even meaner cut released?
My Blueberry Nights has some good photography, but it almost seems to be WKW aping WKW. He's on autopilot, especially with that flick.
And for the love of god, his next english venture should have a decent script 100% locked down before production. Blueberry Nights had a meandering plot that went nowhere, even for a WKW film. And I love the dudes work.
Norah Jones was hot, though.
Didn't Jerry O'Connell do this impression like the very week the Tom Cruise video came out?
Ha. I like this Jeremy guy now.
Jeremy:
It's 'I couldn't care less' not 'I could care less'. To say you 'could care less' means that you already care to some degree which totally contradicts the point you're trying to make. Only Americans mess up this simple saying and when you do the world laughs at you!
"…har har har"
We could care less what The World thinks.
I dunno, I have to admit that I liked the slow transition from making fun of the crazy Tom Cruise interview to the interview scene in Magnolia. Definitely a bit more clever than I'd expect from ____ Movie.
I'm embarrassed I didn't know that about BAD SANTA. And as for this whole Fanboys vs the Weinsteins debacle, all I can add is "It's beautiful, man! It's beautiful!"
Yawn. I see where the SW fanboys might be shocked, SHOCKED that someone would tamper with a holy text like FANBOYS… but this is just another trip 'round the block with Harvey Scissorhands. Asian cinema aficionados know this tune by heart. We've been singing it for years. SW geeks are late to choir practice. Now take this soap, the rules are different here.
One thing to remember with Superhero movie is it's not related to the endless Epic, Date, and Spartan movies. It's a Zucker production, like the last two Scary movies. If nothing else, you can tell because Leslie Neilsen features in it. While I'm sure it's not going to be the height of comedy like Airplane or Spaceballs, I'm sure it's at least going to be a fun time.
And screw Fanboys. It's a movie about a kid with cancer wanting to see Episode 1. Either he dies or he gets to see it and he dies. If the former, it'd probably be better, as at least he didn't get his hopes dashed along the way like the rest of us.
Critch, Spaceballs was Mel Brooks. Not Zucker. I actually really liked Scary Movie 3(not 4 though). If the rest of the movie is this funny, I'm in.
As a huge Star Wars fan, I have no interest in seeing FANBOYS, the topic of wanting to see Ep1 before someone dies sounds a bit morbid..but then again, this was before someone had their hopes and dreams killed with that film…remember the excitement we all felt before that movie was released..damn those where good times.
I have to agree somewhat with Jeremy on this one (though with less venom!). Where were these SW fans when Weinstein meddled with Hellraiser: Bloodline? Or 54 for that matter? Or Bob and Harvey's misguided "de-Australianising" of The Castle?
Besides, this looks much better than all the awful Seltzer and Friedberg hack jobs of the last three years. What's more it has Craig Bierko in it!
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