What
follows is a scattershot bit of random thoughts, links, and images that
showcase the lunacy that exists in the entertainment world and beyond.
Folks who remember my old missives from the old Steady Leak articles
should find this kind of stuff familiar. Folks seemed to get a kick out
of the first installment, and each Wednesday should fall victim to
another installment. Don’t expect anything deep here but something may
tickle your fancy.
1. Where Incest Drives.
What can I say about the Travis Tritt Highway that hasn’t been mumbled or clicked out by primordial fans of country music already? This fucking thing EXISTS. There’s no Ace Frehley Boulevard. There’s no Murray Head Parkway. There’s not one Shirley Bassey Turnpike. Who did Travis Tritt incest to get his own damn road? One that leads TO and FROM places. Martin Luther King, Jr. is spinning in his tomb while dodging burning crosses from dead Travis Tritt acolytes.
2. What About Renting With an Option to Buy?
Photo by Steve Murphy.
Have you ever been driving and felt compelled to just buy a fucking goat?
3. Not to Be Confused with the Rooster Monolith.
Photo by Steve Murphy.
Taunt this place even a little and it’s GONE.
4. I Have My New Directive.
Photo by Steve Murphy.
Where’s the problem?
5. Jehova’s Pedalists.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
I don’t know why I find Jehova’s Witnesses so funny as they travel bikeback across the terrain…
Oh yes I do, because they’re fucking SILLY.
6. Meat Curtains In Stasis.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
She’s had her period but apparently not an apostrophe.
7. Photography Dilemma SOLVED!
Photo by Andrew Sweeney.
The days of plain old Boudoir Photography are long gone I’m afraid…
8. Pharmacist. Adventurer. Literary Genius.
Photo by Andrew Sweeney.
This text collection is like having dinner with Crispin Glover, Marlee Matlin, and a vacuum cleaner.
9. Mom 1 Was Shred the Most.
Photo by Andrew Sweeney.
What this vanity plate COULD mean:
1. This dude’s mom died in 2003 and he’s commemorating her with a license plate. This would be extremely sweet until you understand that his other car’s plate reads ‘BATRAPE”.
2. His second stepmother is the target of much scorn.
3. Mr. Torn’s mother’s other cars are better than a Honda Accord.
4. Some fella in Rhode Island operates [my bookmarked] the web’s premier MILF Golden Shower site.
5. This car needs to be totaled with driver inside.
By the way:
“I ate the man took pizza to us!”
10 comments
Those bikers are more than likely Mormon missionaries.
Not a member of a country club? Anymore? This list of dumb-is T-R-O-U-B-L-E. The whiskey ain't workin because I don't get the joke. (Tell me I was Dreaming) Maybe spend a little(more) time thinking on what you write. Less on trashing the Bible Belt you call home. You made me mad and This One's gonna hurt you(for a long, long time. in conclusion: next time you choose to attack a Marietta Ga boy; a southern hero (take it easy)–Here's a quarter call someone who cares!
#5 Bikers are Mormons. They'd probably agree that your "Bitter End" comics are NOT FUCKING FUNNY!
We already KNOW they're moron missionaries. Nick was just speculating that they might be of the jehovah's witness variety, rather than from the vast array of other moron missionaries out there. What's the big deal?
A fucking goat, no. An eating goat, maybe.
If G-d meant for us to walk he'd wouldn't have given us bicycles with banana seats. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
Jehovah's Witnesses have nothing to do with Mormonism, and the Jehovah's Witnesses that come to your door are usually women in Sunday dresses or men in suits. These bikers are Mormon Missionaries. It's erroneous, therein lies the problem. Let us not lump all religious peoples together.
"She's had her period but apparently not an apostrophe." That's genius.
Breaking Away is on TV (FOX Movie Channel) as I read this. FUCK!
Fucking outstanding! The period comment was classic and the vampire boy never fails to make me smile. I don't know how much work it is to keep this column going, but keep it up, it's great!
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