A CERTAIN SHITTINESS

Better art on this one than the horror strip, though the splash panel doesn't work at all – the figure in FG is good but the landscape is flat and utterly without dimension. The lettering is quite ugly too.

And yes it's childish, but Comment #1 did make me laugh.

I can't wait for the rip-roarin' next installment of The Retarded Dark Tower. That splash panel is so close to the ones seen in my dreams.

Again, I respect the effort you put into these, but what happened from the last page? Looks like this guys was going to whoop some ass, but now it looks like he just got out of some back alley with that dude and then paid off his pimp. Couldn't there have been one pane where he is punching them or knifing them in the stomach, spilling thier intestines all over the floor, subsequently horrifying the passengers on the train? When did they get off the train? Why is the title of the story 5 pages in? Where is the Parthenon he was so desparate too see? Why he walk into the mountains/desert to get there? I'm just sayin….

What the fuck is going on with this story? How many times can you introduce a character? It reminds me of Bunuel's DISCREET CHARM OF THE BOURGEOISIE except instead of a plotless series of scenes about meals we are treated to a mindless series of set-ups to a character. So far, Bridger's "adventures" have been pretty lame. Good Job!!

The panel-to-panel continuity on the last few pages is terrible. Any comic page where that you need to read several times to even figure out what the characters are doing or where they might be in relation to each other is failing in its job. And the angle in the final splash panel is all wrong, both anatomically and dramatically.

Anatomically correct? What is this, art class? Instead of playing arm-chair critic like most of these basement dwellers, this guy has actually put pen to paper and tried to produce some work. Not only that, but he's put himself out there for all to throw stones. Good or bad, give him some fucking credit.

Reading it from the beginning (and without 3 other comics in between postings), it's actually not so bad. But the format is still awful, and it really has no place on a movie site. In fact, I enjoy the talkbalks on these so much that I would recommend building an entirely new site to house your comics, and more importantly, cater to everyone who enjoys shitting all over them. I'd check that site daily.

I just want to state that I have enjoyed this strip so far. My only complaint is that the layout has been so ham-handed that it should touch Robin Quivers' vagina while singing about putting vaseline on its dick.

RIP KENNETH KEITH KALLENBACH

"dedicated to Leone and Lovecraft"? i'm sure out of all the million fanboys homages these two have seen over the last half-century, this will be the one to resurrect them from the dead just to slip in your window tonight and jerk you off with praise. jesus christ. what are you, a high school junior passing around a zine?

I never thought I'd miss the comic book work of Rob Leifeld, but here we are…

(f)Art Monkey -Remember when Sylvia Miles dumped a plate of pasta on John Simon’s head? I wish that were your head, and I wish the plate of pasta was actually the feces of your Persian boy lover.
To joe: I bet you miss Rob Liefeld you fucking meatslapper.
To unkknown user: the only words barefoot fags like you need to learn to say are: "even DEEPER!" So why don't you practise that.

I'm starting to like this. The action is certainly a bit disjointed and the typeface is bizarrely unprofessional, but this feels like the beginning of something epic. Or a rough draft of something epic, at least. I'll keep reading.

I wonder how many of these sycophants are actully just Nick or Werewolf Girl. Either way, it's pathetic. These comics suck, the detract from the site and that oxygen thief Nunzatalent needs to be blasted for them. Suck it up, you bitches.

"Anatomically correct? What is this, art class?" – No, it's a creative work that's been placed online for people to read. Assuming this is meant to be something vaguely professional, that Nick was at one point trying to have published, why should the art be beyond criticism? If the only reason to post it is so people can say 'Awesome Nick' just because it exists, that's fairly pointless. "Instead of playing arm-chair critic like most of these basement dwellers, this guy has actually put pen to paper and tried to produce some work. Not only that, but he's put himself out there for all to throw stones. Good or bad, give him some fucking credit." – That makes no sense. Yes, anyone who embarks on a creative endeavour deserves "credit", but you said it yourself – "good or bad". As comic pages, these are bad. As bad as some of the movies that Nick has eviscerated on this very website. Please don't dare tell me that his works are beyond reproach simply because this is his website. The concept of this strip seems fairly interesting but the execution is muddled and weak. So far.

No self-respecting, or respectable, comic book illutrators cuts figures off at the feet. It's just not done, just not done.

You crop at the calf, though, stomach or chest; never at joints.

Unless, yes, you're Rob Liefeld.

Aye-yi-yi.

How many more pages is this? Maybe just show us one more.

(f)Art Monkey: I guess if you say so. We can all agree that Nick Steve and I produced a shitty and fetid work of art, which your penetrating and credentialed and not at all superficial negative judgement lays bare. Speaking of laying bare – how is ass -tonguing Danny Bonaduce in the elevator at the Sunset Marquis working out for you. Splendid. Glad to know you're getting to see all those freckles in a cheek by jowl fashion.
Johnny Assnonymous: Thanks for the Joe Kubert lesson, tamponero. Christ, another "crop at the calf" human-sized pod. Somebody get the over-under.

Nick: Let's get RCA to help on the re-writes, we could have Bridger kill those guys on the train. Wait, let's kill everyone on the train. Let's blow up the train before he gets there. Oh, and please remind me to never, ever crop at the ankles. I think like an important person whose name rhymes with Pubert said we should never do that. Ever. neverevereverever!

Way to sink to our level, hotshot. And those pitiful names you throw back at us as insults are completely inane; that's the best you can do? Anyway, look, you hate Joe Kubert; I get that. But name one professional illustrator, in commercial illustration that doesn't, like you, have the sense to crop at the right, aesthetically pleasing areas. The clown who drew the page above will never be a professional illustrator of any kind if he refuses to meet the standards of those who are professional. You're breaking rules that are better left unbroken. Restrict your rule-breaking to your figures' inhuman appearances. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Nick's counting on ya. Artists grow when criticized, if the things they get called out on they agree need re-thinking. Clearly you disagree with my and others' critiques. Fair enough, you seal your fate as mediocre at best. Youre LUCKY this website slaps this work up for the critical eyes of lovers and haters. Some of your best friends will be the ones they tell you the truth. The people that keep silent can't help you. Being an artist ain't easy, so grow a thick skin and weather the storm, or throw in the towel. As long as you create art, you subject yourself to criticism. Be strong, and keep up the fight.

I start getting bored with bagging on these atrocious smatterings of fecal matter that are sort of like a Rorschach picture of Nunziata's empty soul. I mean, really, there's only so many times you can rub a dumb animal's nose in it's own dung heap before you give up trying. Yet, every time I'm about to walk away, either Nick or the "artist" (and I use that term in extremely loose fashion) show up and have a fit like a three year old in fiberglass diapers and that just pulls me right back in. When I know we're holding up their own creative bankruptcy to them like and unflinching mirror and they're making it clear that they're withering in it's reflection, this all starts to have purpose again. Thank you, oh crayola waving spunk gurgler. You let me know this is all worth while. Oh, and, you fucking suck.

"We can all agree that Nick Steve and I produced a shitty and fetid work of art, which your penetrating and credentialed and not at all superficial negative judgement lays bare." – I never said it was shitty and fetid. I'm trying to be civil here and actually offer sensible criticism. Too superficial for you? OK. Page 5 is poorly composed and has no continuity. On page 4 the lead character is on a train, looking out of the window. At the start of page 5 he's emerging from an alley having beaten up someone (presumably the thieves). When did he get off the train? Where is the train, exactly? The next panel shows him from the exact same angle except now he's standing in front of the man whose wallet was stolen. Was that man also in the alley, or has the lead character walked past him? Or does he scuttle sideways, like a crab? Then in the final panel he's magically transported to a featureless landscape in what is presumably supposed to be an awe-inspiring vista but because of the high angle and poor perspective could easily be the dunes at the beach. The page simply doesn't flow. And I'm sorry that this makes you so fucking angry, but it's the truth. This is a poor comic page and it would be rejected by any serious publisher. Now, I suspect that part of the problem lies in the script. If the writer isn't thinking from panel to panel (which often happens when film fans write comics) you get a disjointed page. However, in those cases, it's up to the artist to say "Hey, this doesn't work for the art. How can we fix this? Can I show this, or move the action here so it makes more sense?". As for credentials – what do you want? Would my criticisms suddenly become valid if I told you my name was Mark, I was born in Chicago, attended the Kubert School, published a short-lived small press comic and now work in the production department of a comic company you'll have heard of? Or do you need my social security number and mother's maiden name. Valid criticism is valid criticism whether I use my real name or a nickname. I'm not on here throwing out stupid insults or making Devin Is Fat jokes. I'm offering my feedback, for what it's worth. If you seriously want to make it in a creative industry, you need to toughen up that hide. I've been in art classes where students were encouraged to be as savage as possible when reviewing each others work, provided the criticism was valid, because that's how the outside would will react. I mean, I've heard there are websites out there that review things and give scores like Fuck You Out Of 10. I suspect if Bridger was published and reviewed in this state, the result would make you explode. If you just want feedback that says you're awesome and well done for making an effort, you're in the wrong line of business.

Persian boy lover? Meatslapper? Barefoot fags? Ass-tonguing? Classy retorts, dude. Here's an idea, Nick. Keep this fine upstanding artist but set him to work on The Adventures of Homophobia Johnson. That might be more his speed. I heartily recomend people do a google search for this guys website and check out his topless fan art of the Bride of Frankenstein. Hey, I heard that movie was directed by a gay queer fag!

Wow. Art Monkey – that was one of the most solid and well-presented responses I've ever seen on The Internet. Well done.

Can we get Artmonkey to take the reins on this comic. His critisims are valid, his observations are spot on which leads me to believe he might be your only hope of polishing this disjointed turd into something special.

The disjointed panels. The nonsensical story. Has anyone on here read Rick Veitch's Rare Bit Fiends? Was this story born from a Salmon Burrito shit spigot fever dream?