Why the hell would anybody want to remake Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon? I’m honestly stumped here – while I love The Last Dragon on many levels, it’s most successful levels are the ironic aspects of silly 80s culture. I don’t think the story or character of The Last Dragon are so compelling that anybody needs to revisit them.
But I guess the name is a brand, and so we get a remake from Gordy’s son Kerry, coinciding with the 50th anniversary of Motown. The only rays of hope come from the fact that RZA is co-producing and that the film is set in the modern day, and not some kind of nostalgic pastiche. That said, I don’t know that the modern day quite offers the sort of kitschy, playful gaudiness that hip hop in the 80s had. But just in case RZA had you too happy, know that the guy who wrote the Master P opus Uncle P is writing this remake.
Samuel L Omnipresent Jackson has signed on to play Sho’nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. This completes the Samuel L Jackson One Degree of Separation From Famous Dead Black People 2008 edition – he stars in Soul Men with the bodily remains of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, and now he’s stepping into Julius Carry’s Converse.
One thing about the remake: it must include Taimak in some way, in some form. This is mandatory. It just isn’t The Last Dragon without a touch of Taimak. There’s no chance that he’ll return as ‘Bruce’ Leroy Green, and I guess he won’t be taking the obvious role of Sho’nuff, but there must be a place for him in here somewhere.
And by the way, if you haven’t seen The Last Dragon, I’m officially calling your movie lover credentials into question. This is a cornerstone of the 80s. Do it as a double feature with Big Trouble In Little China if you must, but just see this movie before the remake hits next year.
15 comments
All right, it's official, Gator has replaced crack with crap. Where's Ossie Davis with his tough love?
Julius Carry is so good as Lord Bowler in Brisco County Jr.
Oh Jesus God NO! This is one of my childhood faves. Berry Gordy has raped my childhood! In all seriousness though, how would a movie like this work today? Most thugs in New York City these days are packing heat, and I doubt Bruce Leeroy can catch all those bullets with his teeth. Here's hoping this inspires Rockstar to make a 'Last Dragon' brawler game with Taimak and company reprising their roles. BTW, if this remake in any way, shape, or form involves Nick Canon, this film will fail.
"And by the way, if you haven't seen The Last Dragon, I'm officially calling your movie lover credentials into question."
So movie lovers must see worthless, shitty 80's kitsch now to "officially" be movie lovers? This movie must be on par with Citizen Kane!
Bring
Back
Vanity!
My favorite sin.
a perennial on the video when I was flat sharing at Uni, fave bit is when SHo Nuff starts 'shorting out' when the 'one and only master' is revealed. Terrible but genius. And unfuckingbelievably 80's
It's not that it's citizen Kane, it's that it represents the crazy silliness of the 80's you moron.
Sometimes you need to watch the bad to appreciate the good.
The Last Dragon is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And I've seen Van Helsing.
How can someone hate the Goonies and love this? They're both pieces of shit.
Seen it. Not a fan.
This film is what happened when Breakin' and The Karate Kid had sex.
Gone with the wind can suck my dick. Gimme The last dragon all day everyday
I hope the remake is good, but there really isn't a need for one.
Vanity…i saw this film about ten times just to see that beauty again and again. Film was kind of fun too, but it had some really annoying cheesy parts. Specially when seeing it for the tenth time.
I saw Last Dragon when it first hit VHS in the late '80s – hated it then, hate it now. Devin, you have some shitty-ass taste – you liking Last Dragon for nostalgic reasons is just as childish as the retards that still cling to The Goonies – either grow the fuck up, or stop being such a goddamn hypocrite, you fuck-wit.
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