“I already work around the clock!” would be funnier if he said “I already work around the cock!” Starring Whorison Ford. I like really juvenile jokes that way. Just like I find that most movies are funny if you substitute one word in the title with poop. Like Stop Making Poop, or The Dark Poop (or also The Poop Knight). Poop. The Pooping of a Chinese Bookie. Boogie Poops. Good Poop Hunting. A Poop Called Wanda. Etc.
I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK!
There was a time, let’s call it before Regarding Henry, that Harrison Ford as a brand name for people like me, people who grew up on Indy and Star Wars, that he could do no wrong, but the 21st century has produced nothing of worth from the actor. Watching Ford on his press tour, listening to a grumbly old man, it’s somewhat depressing, and that flicker in the eyes that came out when he was dancing with an Amish chick to Sam Cooke’s Wonderful World has been on short supply for a long ass time. that Extreme Measures – or wait, no it’s Extraordinary Measures (the sequel to Ordinary Measures, from what I hear) – should be dead on the vine is not all that surprising. Ford no longer has a cache with an audience, nor does Brendan Fraser, especially not in dramas. In fact, both actors can still sell an action film, but yelling about research? Not so much.
The Rock, however should be an action star, but seems to have found some life in doing shitty kids films. Perhaps his work in Adam McKay’s upcoming The Other Guys will open other venues for him. Still Tooth Fairy looks like dross, but should be the #2 picture of the week on its way to a – what – $60 to $80 total? For the record The Game Plan is one of the worst films ever made. For the record.
Someone asked me on the boards to write about the impact the Golden Globes had/have. This year: none. Up in the Air would be the film to help, and it got a Screenplay award, which is a concession prize. Jason Reitman should be so lucky come Oscar time. I thought The Hurt Locker was adapted, so now that I’m looking, Reitman has a very good shot of getting an Oscar if Precious isn’t also a possible. Now that I think about it, since Monique is starting to act respectable, that would be the prize to give it. Why? I have no idea. If the Globes rallied around Up in the Air, maybe that film would zoom back to life, but that didn’t happen. And it’s not going to, it’s not in the discussion for Picture or Director. Partly because it’s not in the discussion. It’s a Babel.
Legion is supposed to be terrible, but I can see it opening and then like Daybreakers slipping away quickly and quietly. Is a $20 – $30 Million total a victory? Likely it’s a break-even with international.
Oh yeah, Avatar. It is going into the weekend with $515 Million, which means that it’s either on the cusp of $550 by the end of the weekend, or past it. Which puts it two to three weekends away from Avatar beating Titanic. It’s quite possible this will also be the weekend that the film surpasses Titanic for the top grossing Worldwide picture of all time. The possibility of this film not beating Titanic revolves around James Cameron being found with a dead girl or a live boy. And even then it should still pass $600. Is $700 Million out of reach? No. Honestly, we haven’t seen if there’s a leveling out yet (it could do $30 Million next weekend). And from what I’ve been told by director Jeff Mahler, they made a deal to keep the film in theaters on 500 3-D screens until May, which means that an $800 Million total is not out of the question. Fox has not announced the DVD deets yet, so perhaps this becomes a reissue later this year as well. 3-D screens are still very valuable though, and as long as studios keep making 3-D films, and the screens are limited, then that may limit their possibilities.
I ALREADY PREDICT AROUND THE CLOCK!
So so let’s go.
1. A Reissue of Dolemite’s Monkey Hustle – $32.5 Million
2. The Tooth Fairy – $18.7 Million
3. The Book of Eli – $15 Million
4. Legion – $11.5 Million
5. The Lovely Bones $9.3 Million
Which puts Extraordinary People out of the top five. Fu Schnickens. Sunday we’ll play Chutes and Ladders.
16 comments
Favorite line from A Poop Called Wanda: "You're the vulgarian you POOP!"
You're always an enjoyable read.
After hearing the recent evisceration of Lovely Bones on the /Film podcast, I'd say Extraordinary Measures (The John Holmes Story) places in the top five. It's the next Blind Side! Plus Harrison was so charismatic presenting on the Globes, that'll have to get some asses in the seats.
you forgot another variation: Poop Dark Knight
As childish as it is, the poo game (as we call it) has amused my friend and I for years. The Bond films work exceedingly well. Try any one.. Burton films are good too..
This might not work for you yanks, but what I find amusing is to replace the word 'heart' in song titles with 'arse': Your Cheatin' Arse, Take These Chains from My Arse, Arse on Fire and my personal favourite, the Richard Thompson classic Don't Let a Thief Steal into Your Arse (good advice, that).
dead girl
live boy
For the serial killer version of that game, just replace "Love" with "Blood". eg:"Falling in blood again, what am I to do, got to cut up you, can't help it"
Is it me or is there really hardly anyone talking about AVATAR outside the net for a movie on track to beat TITANIC??? As odd as this sounds, but where I live which is St.Louis, there's hardly a peep from anyone I know about this movie and that's something I didn't experience when TITANIC came out in 1997.. It just seems like for a movie making so damn much money, that you'd think you'd hear more of a big deal about it and it just doesn't seem or feel like it.. Hell, the SPIDER-MAN Franchise clusterfuck reboot has gotten more attention than AVATAR on the verge of beating TITANIC.. Is it like that where you folks live to or what????
At #9. Has to be you. I still see a new status update on Facebook every other day stating "Just saw Avatar today!! Loved it!" My brother, a lit major, has seen it 4 times now and plans to see it a few more times. He refuses to acknowledge how pedestrian and cliche the movie is. It has become one of his favorites of all time. Point is, this is still very much a watercooler movie. I hear people talking about it all the time.
Careful #9 – their vaginas are tender from all the sand Devin poured in there. Sure people are seeing it (and how), but fucking bullshit if they're talking about it beyond throwing out as an option for the weekend. I though they would raving about it myself, so I'm finding it very weird there isn't more discussion at street level. My pal who works at a bookshop is saying there's minimal interest in artbooks, that survival guide thing or even the smurfs and hello kitty haven't seen a boost. Only the sex scene thing has gotten any traction.
My favorite Howard Hawks' films: THE BIG POOP, POOPFACE, THE POOP FROM ANOTHER WORLD, THE POOP PATROL, TO POOP AND POOP NOT, MAN'S FAVORITE POOP, POOPY BUSINESS, and SGT. POOP
ya, no ones talking about it where i work, but im the only single person out of 10 people here : /
Scorsese's Top 5 Poop Films- Raging Poop, Poop Out the Dead, The Poop of Innocence, Alice Doesn't Poop Here Anymore, and The Last Poop of Christ
I'm glad I saw Avatar at the movies because of the sheer spectacle. I feel like I got my $10 out of it. But there was no point in the movie when I thought "What's going to happen next?" I already knew. Everyone knew. In fact, my most common thought was, "It'll be neat when they do that in the third act." That's why #9 feels like there's no real buzz about the movie – because there's no real buzz about the MOVIE – the buzz is about (and always has been for this film) the spectacle. And that's cool, as long as you know what i for and you dig it.
Plenty of people are talking about Avatar, and not just for the spectacle. You're jsut not hearing it because you don't want to. You've all been coming here to long reading Devin's propaganda.
Oh and speaking of Devin, Have you heard, Avatar is the number one movie ever, not sure if you've heard about it yet, but it is. Hope this completes you're journey from douchbag to uber douchbag.
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